الفصل الفصل 14 · A DREAM REALISED

. A DREAM REALISED

Having now brought all my things on shore and secured them, I went back

to my boat, and rowed or paddled her along the shore to her old

harbour, where I laid her up, and made the best of my way to my old

habitation, where I found everything safe and quiet. I began now to

repose myself, live after my old fashion, and take care of my family

affairs; and for a while I lived easy enough, only that I was more

vigilant than I used to be, looked out oftener, and did not go abroad

so much; and if at any time I did stir with any freedom, it was always

to the east part of the island, where I was pretty well satisfied the

savages never came, and where I could go without so many precautions,

and such a load of arms and ammunition as I always carried with me if I

went the other way.

I lived in this condition near two years more; but my unlucky head,

that was always to let me know it was born to make my body miserable,

was all these two years filled with projects and designs how, if it

were possible, I might get away from this island: for sometimes I was

for making another voyage to the wreck, though my reason told me that

there was nothing left there worth the hazard of my voyage; sometimes

for a ramble one way, sometimes another—and I believe verily, if I had

had the boat that I went from Sallee in, I should have ventured to sea,

bound anywhere, I knew not whither.

I have been, in all my circumstances, a memento to those who are

touched with the general plague of mankind, whence, for aught I know,

one half of their miseries flow: I mean that of not being satisfied

with the station wherein God and Nature hath placed them—for, not to

look back upon my primitive condition, and the excellent advice of my

father, the opposition to which was, as I may call it, my _original

sin_, my subsequent mistakes of the same kind had been the means of my

coming into this miserable condition; for had that Providence which so

happily seated me at the Brazils as a planter blessed me with confined

desires, and I could have been contented to have gone on gradually, I

might have been by this time—I mean in the time of my being in this

island—one of the most considerable planters in the Brazils—nay, I am

persuaded, that by the improvements I had made in that little time I

lived there, and the increase I should probably have made if I had

remained, I might have been worth a hundred thousand moidores—and what

business had I to leave a settled fortune, a well-stocked plantation,

improving and increasing, to turn supercargo to Guinea to fetch

negroes, when patience and time would have so increased our stock at

home, that we could have bought them at our own door from those whose

business it was to fetch them? and though it had cost us something

more, yet the difference of that price was by no means worth saving at

so great a hazard.

But as this is usually the fate of young heads, so reflection upon the

folly of it is as commonly the exercise of more years, or of the

dear-bought experience of time—so it was with me now; and yet so deep

had the mistake taken root in my temper, that I could not satisfy

myself in my station, but was continually poring upon the means and

possibility of my escape from this place; and that I may, with greater

pleasure to the reader, bring on the remaining part of my story, it may

not be improper to give some account of my first conceptions on the

subject of this foolish scheme for my escape, and how, and upon what

foundation, I acted.

I am now to be supposed retired into my castle, after my late voyage to

the wreck, my frigate laid up and secured under water, as usual, and my

condition restored to what it was before: I had more wealth, indeed,

than I had before, but was not at all the richer; for I had no more use

for it than the Indians of Peru had before the Spaniards came there.

It was one of the nights in the rainy season in March, the

four-and-twentieth year of my first setting foot in this island of

solitude, I was lying in my bed or hammock, awake, very well in health,

had no pain, no distemper, no uneasiness of body, nor any uneasiness of

mind more than ordinary, but could by no means close my eyes, that is,

so as to sleep; no, not a wink all night long, otherwise than as

follows:

It is impossible to set down the innumerable crowd of thoughts that

whirled through that great thoroughfare of the brain, the memory, in

this night’s time. I ran over the whole history of my life in

miniature, or by abridgment, as I may call it, to my coming to this

island, and also of that part of my life since I came to this island.

In my reflections upon the state of my case since I came on shore on

this island, I was comparing the happy posture of my affairs in the

first years of my habitation here, with the life of anxiety, fear, and

care which I had lived in ever since I had seen the print of a foot in

the sand. Not that I did not believe the savages had frequented the

island even all the while, and might have been several hundreds of them

at times on shore there; but I had never known it, and was incapable of

any apprehensions about it; my satisfaction was perfect, though my

danger was the same, and I was as happy in not knowing my danger as if

I had never really been exposed to it. This furnished my thoughts with

many very profitable reflections, and particularly this one: How

infinitely good that Providence is, which has provided, in its

government of mankind, such narrow bounds to his sight and knowledge of

things; and though he walks in the midst of so many thousand dangers,

the sight of which, if discovered to him, would distract his mind and

sink his spirits, he is kept serene and calm, by having the events of

things hid from his eyes, and knowing nothing of the dangers which

surround him.

After these thoughts had for some time entertained me, I came to

reflect seriously upon the real danger I had been in for so many years

in this very island, and how I had walked about in the greatest

security, and with all possible tranquillity, even when perhaps nothing

but the brow of a hill, a great tree, or the casual approach of night,

had been between me and the worst kind of destruction—viz. that of

falling into the hands of cannibals and savages, who would have seized

on me with the same view as I would on a goat or turtle; and have

thought it no more crime to kill and devour me than I did of a pigeon

or a curlew. I would unjustly slander myself if I should say I was not

sincerely thankful to my great Preserver, to whose singular protection

I acknowledged, with great humanity, all these unknown deliverances

were due, and without which I must inevitably have fallen into their

merciless hands.

When these thoughts were over, my head was for some time taken up in

considering the nature of these wretched creatures, I mean the savages,

and how it came to pass in the world that the wise Governor of all

things should give up any of His creatures to such inhumanity—nay, to

something so much below even brutality itself—as to devour its own

kind: but as this ended in some (at that time) fruitless speculations,

it occurred to me to inquire what part of the world these wretches

lived in? how far off the coast was from whence they came? what they

ventured over so far from home for? what kind of boats they had? and

why I might not order myself and my business so that I might be able to

go over thither, as they were to come to me?

I never so much as troubled myself to consider what I should do with

myself when I went thither; what would become of me if I fell into the

hands of these savages; or how I should escape them if they attacked

me; no, nor so much as how it was possible for me to reach the coast,

and not to be attacked by some or other of them, without any

possibility of delivering myself; and if I should not fall into their

hands, what I should do for provision, or whither I should bend my

course; none of these thoughts, I say, so much as came in my way; but

my mind was wholly bent upon the notion of my passing over in my boat

to the mainland. I looked upon my present condition as the most

miserable that could possibly be; that I was not able to throw myself

into anything but death, that could be called worse; and if I reached

the shore of the main I might perhaps meet with relief, or I might

coast along, as I did on the African shore, till I came to some

inhabited country, and where I might find some relief; and after all,

perhaps I might fall in with some Christian ship that might take me in:

and if the worst came to the worst, I could but die, which would put an

end to all these miseries at once. Pray note, all this was the fruit of

a disturbed mind, an impatient temper, made desperate, as it were, by

the long continuance of my troubles, and the disappointments I had met

in the wreck I had been on board of, and where I had been so near

obtaining what I so earnestly longed for—somebody to speak to, and to

learn some knowledge from them of the place where I was, and of the

probable means of my deliverance. I was agitated wholly by these

thoughts; all my calm of mind, in my resignation to Providence, and

waiting the issue of the dispositions of Heaven, seemed to be

suspended; and I had as it were no power to turn my thoughts to

anything but to the project of a voyage to the main, which came upon me

with such force, and such an impetuosity of desire, that it was not to

be resisted.

When this had agitated my thoughts for two hours or more, with such

violence that it set my very blood into a ferment, and my pulse beat as

if I had been in a fever, merely with the extraordinary fervour of my

mind about it, Nature—as if I had been fatigued and exhausted with the

very thoughts of it—threw me into a sound sleep. One would have thought

I should have dreamed of it, but I did not, nor of anything relating to

it, but I dreamed that as I was going out in the morning as usual from

my castle, I saw upon the shore two canoes and eleven savages coming to

land, and that they brought with them another savage whom they were

going to kill in order to eat him; when, on a sudden, the savage that

they were going to kill jumped away, and ran for his life; and I

thought in my sleep that he came running into my little thick grove

before my fortification, to hide himself; and that I seeing him alone,

and not perceiving that the others sought him that way, showed myself

to him, and smiling upon him, encouraged him: that he kneeled down to

me, seeming to pray me to assist him; upon which I showed him my

ladder, made him go up, and carried him into my cave, and he became my

servant; and that as soon as I had got this man, I said to myself, “Now

I may certainly venture to the mainland, for this fellow will serve me

as a pilot, and will tell me what to do, and whither to go for

provisions, and whither not to go for fear of being devoured; what

places to venture into, and what to shun.” I waked with this thought;

and was under such inexpressible impressions of joy at the prospect of

my escape in my dream, that the disappointments which I felt upon

coming to myself, and finding that it was no more than a dream, were

equally extravagant the other way, and threw me into a very great

dejection of spirits.

Upon this, however, I made this conclusion: that my only way to go

about to attempt an escape was, to endeavour to get a savage into my

possession: and, if possible, it should be one of their prisoners, whom

they had condemned to be eaten, and should bring hither to kill. But

these thoughts still were attended with this difficulty: that it was

impossible to effect this without attacking a whole caravan of them,

and killing them all; and this was not only a very desperate attempt,

and might miscarry, but, on the other hand, I had greatly scrupled the

lawfulness of it to myself; and my heart trembled at the thoughts of

shedding so much blood, though it was for my deliverance. I need not

repeat the arguments which occurred to me against this, they being the

same mentioned before; but though I had other reasons to offer now—viz.

that those men were enemies to my life, and would devour me if they

could; that it was self-preservation, in the highest degree, to deliver

myself from this death of a life, and was acting in my own defence as

much as if they were actually assaulting me, and the like; I say though

these things argued for it, yet the thoughts of shedding human blood

for my deliverance were very terrible to me, and such as I could by no

means reconcile myself to for a great while. However, at last, after

many secret disputes with myself, and after great perplexities about it

(for all these arguments, one way and another, struggled in my head a

long time), the eager prevailing desire of deliverance at length

mastered all the rest; and I resolved, if possible, to get one of these

savages into my hands, cost what it would. My next thing was to

contrive how to do it, and this, indeed, was very difficult to resolve

on; but as I could pitch upon no probable means for it, so I resolved

to put myself upon the watch, to see them when they came on shore, and

leave the rest to the event; taking such measures as the opportunity

should present, let what would be.

With these resolutions in my thoughts, I set myself upon the scout as

often as possible, and indeed so often that I was heartily tired of it;

for it was above a year and a half that I waited; and for great part of

that time went out to the west end, and to the south-west corner of the

island almost every day, to look for canoes, but none appeared. This

was very discouraging, and began to trouble me much, though I cannot

say that it did in this case (as it had done some time before) wear off

the edge of my desire to the thing; but the longer it seemed to be

delayed, the more eager I was for it: in a word, I was not at first so

careful to shun the sight of these savages, and avoid being seen by

them, as I was now eager to be upon them. Besides, I fancied myself

able to manage one, nay, two or three savages, if I had them, so as to

make them entirely slaves to me, to do whatever I should direct them,

and to prevent their being able at any time to do me any hurt. It was a

great while that I pleased myself with this affair; but nothing still

presented itself; all my fancies and schemes came to nothing, for no

savages came near me for a great while.

About a year and a half after I entertained these notions (and by long

musing had, as it were, resolved them all into nothing, for want of an

occasion to put them into execution), I was surprised one morning by

seeing no less than five canoes all on shore together on my side the

island, and the people who belonged to them all landed and out of my

sight. The number of them broke all my measures; for seeing so many,

and knowing that they always came four or six, or sometimes more in a

boat, I could not tell what to think of it, or how to take my measures

to attack twenty or thirty men single-handed; so lay still in my

castle, perplexed and discomforted. However, I put myself into the same

position for an attack that I had formerly provided, and was just ready

for action, if anything had presented. Having waited a good while,

listening to hear if they made any noise, at length, being very

impatient, I set my guns at the foot of my ladder, and clambered up to

the top of the hill, by my two stages, as usual; standing so, however,

that my head did not appear above the hill, so that they could not

perceive me by any means. Here I observed, by the help of my

perspective glass, that they were no less than thirty in number; that

they had a fire kindled, and that they had meat dressed. How they had

cooked it I knew not, or what it was; but they were all dancing, in I

know not how many barbarous gestures and figures, their own way, round

the fire.

While I was thus looking on them, I perceived, by my perspective, two

miserable wretches dragged from the boats, where, it seems, they were

laid by, and were now brought out for the slaughter. I perceived one of

them immediately fall; being knocked down, I suppose, with a club or

wooden sword, for that was their way; and two or three others were at

work immediately, cutting him open for their cookery, while the other

victim was left standing by himself, till they should be ready for him.

In that very moment this poor wretch, seeing himself a little at

liberty and unbound, Nature inspired him with hopes of life, and he

started away from them, and ran with incredible swiftness along the

sands, directly towards me; I mean towards that part of the coast where

my habitation was. I was dreadfully frightened, I must acknowledge,

when I perceived him run my way; and especially when, as I thought, I

saw him pursued by the whole body: and now I expected that part of my

dream was coming to pass, and that he would certainly take shelter in

my grove; but I could not depend, by any means, upon my dream, that the

other savages would not pursue him thither and find him there. However,

I kept my station, and my spirits began to recover when I found that

there was not above three men that followed him; and still more was I

encouraged, when I found that he outstripped them exceedingly in

running, and gained ground on them; so that, if he could but hold out

for half-an-hour, I saw easily he would fairly get away from them all.

There was between them and my castle the creek, which I mentioned often

in the first part of my story, where I landed my cargoes out of the

ship; and this I saw plainly he must necessarily swim over, or the poor

wretch would be taken there; but when the savage escaping came thither,

he made nothing of it, though the tide was then up; but plunging in,

swam through in about thirty strokes, or thereabouts, landed, and ran

with exceeding strength and swiftness. When the three persons came to

the creek, I found that two of them could swim, but the third could

not, and that, standing on the other side, he looked at the others, but

went no farther, and soon after went softly back again; which, as it

happened, was very well for him in the end. I observed that the two who

swam were yet more than twice as strong swimming over the creek as the

fellow was that fled from them. It came very warmly upon my thoughts,

and indeed irresistibly, that now was the time to get me a servant,

and, perhaps, a companion or assistant; and that I was plainly called

by Providence to save this poor creature’s life. I immediately ran down

the ladders with all possible expedition, fetched my two guns, for they

were both at the foot of the ladders, as I observed before, and getting

up again with the same haste to the top of the hill, I crossed towards

the sea; and having a very short cut, and all down hill, placed myself

in the way between the pursuers and the pursued, hallowing aloud to him

that fled, who, looking back, was at first perhaps as much frightened

at me as at them; but I beckoned with my hand to him to come back; and,

in the meantime, I slowly advanced towards the two that followed; then

rushing at once upon the foremost, I knocked him down with the stock of

my piece. I was loath to fire, because I would not have the rest hear;

though, at that distance, it would not have been easily heard, and

being out of sight of the smoke, too, they would not have known what to

make of it. Having knocked this fellow down, the other who pursued him

stopped, as if he had been frightened, and I advanced towards him: but

as I came nearer, I perceived presently he had a bow and arrow, and was

fitting it to shoot at me: so I was then obliged to shoot at him first,

which I did, and killed him at the first shot. The poor savage who

fled, but had stopped, though he saw both his enemies fallen and

killed, as he thought, yet was so frightened with the fire and noise of

my piece that he stood stock still, and neither came forward nor went

backward, though he seemed rather inclined still to fly than to come

on. I hallooed again to him, and made signs to come forward, which he

easily understood, and came a little way; then stopped again, and then

a little farther, and stopped again; and I could then perceive that he

stood trembling, as if he had been taken prisoner, and had just been to

be killed, as his two enemies were. I beckoned to him again to come to

me, and gave him all the signs of encouragement that I could think of;

and he came nearer and nearer, kneeling down every ten or twelve steps,

in token of acknowledgment for saving his life. I smiled at him, and

looked pleasantly, and beckoned to him to come still nearer; at length

he came close to me; and then he kneeled down again, kissed the ground,

and laid his head upon the ground, and taking me by the foot, set my

foot upon his head; this, it seems, was in token of swearing to be my

slave for ever. I took him up and made much of him, and encouraged him

all I could. But there was more work to do yet; for I perceived the

savage whom I had knocked down was not killed, but stunned with the

blow, and began to come to himself: so I pointed to him, and showed him

the savage, that he was not dead; upon this he spoke some words to me,

and though I could not understand them, yet I thought they were

pleasant to hear; for they were the first sound of a man’s voice that I

had heard, my own excepted, for above twenty-five years. But there was

no time for such reflections now; the savage who was knocked down

recovered himself so far as to sit up upon the ground, and I perceived

that my savage began to be afraid; but when I saw that, I presented my

other piece at the man, as if I would shoot him: upon this my savage,

for so I call him now, made a motion to me to lend him my sword, which

hung naked in a belt by my side, which I did. He no sooner had it, but

he runs to his enemy, and at one blow cut off his head so cleverly, no

executioner in Germany could have done it sooner or better; which I

thought very strange for one who, I had reason to believe, never saw a

sword in his life before, except their own wooden swords: however, it

seems, as I learned afterwards, they make their wooden swords so sharp,

so heavy, and the wood is so hard, that they will even cut off heads

with them, ay, and arms, and that at one blow, too. When he had done

this, he comes laughing to me in sign of triumph, and brought me the

sword again, and with abundance of gestures which I did not understand,

laid it down, with the head of the savage that he had killed, just

before me. But that which astonished him most was to know how I killed

the other Indian so far off; so, pointing to him, he made signs to me

to let him go to him; and I bade him go, as well as I could. When he

came to him, he stood like one amazed, looking at him, turning him

first on one side, then on the other; looked at the wound the bullet

had made, which it seems was just in his breast, where it had made a

hole, and no great quantity of blood had followed; but he had bled

inwardly, for he was quite dead. He took up his bow and arrows, and

came back; so I turned to go away, and beckoned him to follow me,

making signs to him that more might come after them. Upon this he made

signs to me that he should bury them with sand, that they might not be

seen by the rest, if they followed; and so I made signs to him again to

do so. He fell to work; and in an instant he had scraped a hole in the

sand with his hands big enough to bury the first in, and then dragged

him into it, and covered him; and did so by the other also; I believe

he had buried them both in a quarter of an hour. Then, calling away, I

carried him, not to my castle, but quite away to my cave, on the

farther part of the island: so I did not let my dream come to pass in

that part, that he came into my grove for shelter. Here I gave him

bread and a bunch of raisins to eat, and a draught of water, which I

found he was indeed in great distress for, from his running: and having

refreshed him, I made signs for him to go and lie down to sleep,

showing him a place where I had laid some rice-straw, and a blanket

upon it, which I used to sleep upon myself sometimes; so the poor

creature lay down, and went to sleep.

He was a comely, handsome fellow, perfectly well made, with straight,

strong limbs, not too large; tall, and well-shaped; and, as I reckon,

about twenty-six years of age. He had a very good countenance, not a

fierce and surly aspect, but seemed to have something very manly in his

face; and yet he had all the sweetness and softness of a European in

his countenance, too, especially when he smiled. His hair was long and

black, not curled like wool; his forehead very high and large; and a

great vivacity and sparkling sharpness in his eyes. The colour of his

skin was not quite black, but very tawny; and yet not an ugly, yellow,

nauseous tawny, as the Brazilians and Virginians, and other natives of

America are, but of a bright kind of a dun olive-colour, that had in it

something very agreeable, though not very easy to describe. His face

was round and plump; his nose small, not flat, like the negroes; a very

good mouth, thin lips, and his fine teeth well set, and as white as

ivory.

After he had slumbered, rather than slept, about half-an-hour, he awoke

again, and came out of the cave to me, for I had been milking my goats

which I had in the enclosure just by: when he espied me he came running

to me, laying himself down again upon the ground, with all the possible

signs of an humble, thankful disposition, making a great many antic

gestures to show it. At last he lays his head flat upon the ground,

close to my foot, and sets my other foot upon his head, as he had done

before; and after this made all the signs to me of subjection,

servitude, and submission imaginable, to let me know how he would serve

me so long as he lived. I understood him in many things, and let him

know I was very well pleased with him. In a little time I began to

speak to him; and teach him to speak to me; and first, I let him know

his name should be Friday, which was the day I saved his life; I called

him so for the memory of the time. I likewise taught him to say Master;

and then let him know that was to be my name; I likewise taught him to

say Yes and No and to know the meaning of them. I gave him some milk in

an earthen pot, and let him see me drink it before him, and sop my

bread in it; and gave him a cake of bread to do the like, which he

quickly complied with, and made signs that it was very good for him. I

kept there with him all that night; but as soon as it was day I

beckoned to him to come with me, and let him know I would give him some

clothes; at which he seemed very glad, for he was stark naked. As we

went by the place where he had buried the two men, he pointed exactly

to the place, and showed me the marks that he had made to find them

again, making signs to me that we should dig them up again and eat

them. At this I appeared very angry, expressed my abhorrence of it,

made as if I would vomit at the thoughts of it, and beckoned with my

hand to him to come away, which he did immediately, with great

submission. I then led him up to the top of the hill, to see if his

enemies were gone; and pulling out my glass I looked, and saw plainly

the place where they had been, but no appearance of them or their

canoes; so that it was plain they were gone, and had left their two

comrades behind them, without any search after them.

But I was not content with this discovery; but having now more courage,

and consequently more curiosity, I took my man Friday with me, giving

him the sword in his hand, with the bow and arrows at his back, which I

found he could use very dexterously, making him carry one gun for me,

and I two for myself; and away we marched to the place where these

creatures had been; for I had a mind now to get some further

intelligence of them. When I came to the place my very blood ran chill

in my veins, and my heart sunk within me, at the horror of the

spectacle; indeed, it was a dreadful sight, at least it was so to me,

though Friday made nothing of it. The place was covered with human

bones, the ground dyed with their blood, and great pieces of flesh left

here and there, half-eaten, mangled, and scorched; and, in short, all

the tokens of the triumphant feast they had been making there, after a

victory over their enemies. I saw three skulls, five hands, and the

bones of three or four legs and feet, and abundance of other parts of

the bodies; and Friday, by his signs, made me understand that they

brought over four prisoners to feast upon; that three of them were

eaten up, and that he, pointing to himself, was the fourth; that there

had been a great battle between them and their next king, of whose

subjects, it seems, he had been one, and that they had taken a great

number of prisoners; all which were carried to several places by those

who had taken them in the fight, in order to feast upon them, as was

done here by these wretches upon those they brought hither.

I caused F