الفصل الفصل 48 · Chapter XLVIII
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’Tis hard and ill-paid task to order all things beforehand by the rule
of our own security, as is well hinted by Machiavelli concerning
Cæsar Borgia, who, saith he, had thought of all that might occur on
his father’s death, and had provided against every evil chance save
only one: it had never come into his mind that when his father died,
his own death would quickly follow.
Grandcourt’s importance as a subject of this realm was of the grandly
passive kind which consists in the inheritance of land. Political and
social movements touched him only through the wire of his rental, and
his most careful biographer need not have read up on
Schleswig-Holstein, the policy of Bismarck, trade-unions, household
suffrage, or even the last commercial panic. He glanced over the best
newspaper columns on these topics, and his views on them can hardly be
said to have wanted breadth, since he embraced all Germans, all
commercial men, and all voters liable to use the wrong kind of soap,
under the general epithet of “brutes;” but he took no action on these
much-agitated questions beyond looking from under his eyelids at any
man who mentioned them, and retaining a silence which served to shake
the opinions of timid thinkers.
But Grandcourt, within his own sphere of interest, showed some of the
qualities which have entered into triumphal diplomacy of the wildest
continental sort.
No movement of Gwendolen in relation to Deronda escaped him. He would
have denied that he was jealous; because jealousy would have implied
some doubt of his own power to hinder what he had determined against.
That his wife should have more inclination to another man’s society
than to his own would not pain him: what he required was that she
should be as fully aware as she would have been of a locked hand-cuff,
that her inclination was helpless to decide anything in contradiction
with his resolve. However much of vacillating whim there might have
been in his entrance on matrimony, there was no vacillating in his
interpretation of the bond. He had not repented of his marriage; it had
really brought more of aim into his life, new objects to exert his will
upon; and he had not repented of his choice. His taste was fastidious,
and Gwendolen satisfied it: he would not have liked a wife who had not
received some elevation of rank from him; nor one who did not command
admiration by her mien and beauty; nor one whose nails were not of the
right shape; nor one the lobe of whose ear was at all too large and
red; nor one who, even if her nails and ears were right, was at the
same time a ninny, unable to make spirited answers. These requirements
may not seem too exacting to refined contemporaries whose own ability
to fall in love has been held in suspense for lack of indispensable
details; but fewer perhaps may follow him in his contentment that his
wife should be in a temper which would dispose her to fly out if she
dared, and that she should have been urged into marrying him by other
feelings than passionate attachment. Still, for those who prefer
command to love, one does not see why the habit of mind should change
precisely at the point of matrimony.
Grandcourt did not feel that he had chosen the wrong wife; and having
taken on himself the part of husband, he was not going in any way to be
fooled, or allow himself to be seen in a light that could be regarded
as pitiable. This was his state of mind—not jealousy; still, his
behavior in some respects was as like jealousy as yellow is to yellow,
which color we know may be the effect of very different causes.
He had come up to town earlier than usual because he wished to be on
the spot for legal consultation as to the arrangements of his will, the
transference of mortgages, and that transaction with his uncle about
the succession to Diplow, which the bait of ready money, adroitly
dangled without importunity, had finally won him to agree upon. But
another acceptable accompaniment of his being in town was the
presentation of himself with the beautiful bride whom he had chosen to
marry in spite of what other people might have expected of him. It is
true that Grandcourt went about with the sense that he did not care a
languid curse for any one’s admiration: but this state of not-caring,
just as much as desire, required its related object—namely, a world of
admiring or envying spectators: for if you are fond of looking stonily
at smiling persons—the persons must be and they must smile—a
rudimentary truth which is surely forgotten by those who complain of
mankind as generally contemptible, since any other aspect of the race
must disappoint the voracity of their contempt. Grandcourt, in town for
the first time with his wife, had his non-caring abstinence from curses
enlarged and diversified by splendid receptions, by conspicuous rides
and drives, by presentations of himself with her on all distinguished
occasions. He wished her to be sought after; he liked that “fellows”
should be eager to talk with her and escort her within his observation;
there was even a kind of lofty coquetry on her part that he would not
have objected to. But what he did not like were her ways in relation to
Deronda.
After the musical party at Lady Mallinger’s, when Grandcourt had
observed the dialogue on the settee as keenly as Hans had done, it was
characteristic of him that he named Deronda for invitation along with
the Mallingers, tenaciously avoiding the possible suggestion to
anybody concerned that Deronda’s presence or absence could be of the
least importance to him; and he made no direct observation to Gwendolen
on her behavior that evening, lest the expression of his disgust should
be a little too strong to satisfy his own pride. But a few days
afterward he remarked, without being careful of the _à propos_,
“Nothing makes a woman more of a gawky than looking out after people
and showing tempers in public. A woman ought to have good manners. Else
it’s intolerable to appear with her.”
Gwendolen made the expected application, and was not without alarm at
the notion of being a gawky. For she, too, with her melancholy distaste
for things, preferred that her distaste should include admirers. But
the sense of overhanging rebuke only intensified the strain of
expectation toward any meeting with Deronda. The novelty and excitement
of her town life was like the hurry and constant change of foreign
travel; whatever might be the inward despondency, there was a programme
to be fulfilled, not without gratification to many-sided self. But, as
always happens with a deep interest, the comparatively rare occasions
on which she could exchange any words with Deronda had a diffusive
effect in her consciousness, magnifying their communication with each
other, and therefore enlarging the place she imagined it to have in his
mind. How could Deronda help this? He certainly did not avoid her;
rather he wished to convince her by every delicate indirect means that
her confidence in him had not been indiscreet since it had not lowered
his respect. Moreover he liked being near her—how could it be
otherwise? She was something more than a problem: she was a lovely
woman, for the turn of whose mind and fate he had a care which, however
futile it might be, kept soliciting him as a responsibility, perhaps
all the more that, when he dared to think of his own future, he saw it
lying far away from this splendid sad-hearted creature, who, because he
had once been impelled to arrest her attention momentarily, as he might
have seized her arm with warning to hinder her from stepping where
there was danger, had turned to him with a beseeching persistent need.
One instance in which Grandcourt stimulated a feeling in Gwendolen that
he would have liked to suppress without seeming to care about it, had
relation to Mirah. Gwendolen’s inclination lingered over the project of
the singing lessons as a sort of obedience to Deronda’s advice, but day
followed day with that want of perceived leisure which belongs to lives
where there is no work to mark off intervals; and the continual
liability to Grandcourt’s presence and surveillance seemed to flatten
every effort to the level of the boredom which his manner expressed;
his negative mind was as diffusive as fog, clinging to all objects, and
spoiling all contact.
But one morning when they were breakfasting, Gwendolen, in a recurrent
fit of determination to exercise the old spirit, said, dallying
prettily over her prawns without eating them,
“I think of making myself accomplished while we are in town, and having
singing lessons.”
“Why?” said Grandcourt, languidly.
“Why?” echoed Gwendolen, playing at sauciness; “because I can’t eat
_pâté de foie gras_ to make me sleepy, and I can’t smoke, and I can’t
go to the club to make me like to come away again—I want a variety of
_ennui_. What would be the most convenient time, when you are busy with
your lawyers and people, for me to have lessons from that little
Jewess, whose singing is getting all the rage.”
“Whenever you like,” said Grandcourt, pushing away his plate, and
leaning back in his chair while he looked at her with his most
lizard-like expression and, played with the ears of the tiny spaniel on
his lap (Gwendolen had taken a dislike to the dogs because they fawned
on him).
Then he said, languidly, “I don’t see why a lady should sing. Amateurs
make fools of themselves. A lady can’t risk herself in that way in
company. And one doesn’t want to hear squalling in private.”
“I like frankness: that seems to me a husband’s great charm,” said
Gwendolen, with her little upward movement of her chin, as she turned
her eyes away from his, and lifting a prawn before her, looked at the
boiled ingenuousness of its eyes as preferable to the lizard’s. “But;”
she added, having devoured her mortification, “I suppose you don’t
object to Miss Lapidoth’s singing at our party on the fourth? I thought
of engaging her. Lady Brackenshaw had her, you know: and the Raymonds,
who are very particular about their music. And Mr. Deronda, who is a
musician himself and a first-rate judge, says there is no singing in
such good taste as hers for a drawing-room. I think his opinion is an
authority.”
She meant to sling a small stone at her husband in that way.
“It’s very indecent of Deronda to go about praising that girl,” said
Grandcourt in a tone of indifference.
“Indecent!” exclaimed Gwendolen, reddening and looking at him again,
overcome by startled wonder, and unable to reflect on the probable
falsity of the phrase—“to go about praising.”
“Yes; and especially when she is patronized by Lady Mallinger. He ought
to hold his tongue about her. Men can see what is his relation to her.”
“Men who judge of others by themselves,” said Gwendolen, turning white
after her redness, and immediately smitten with a dread of her own
words.
“Of course. And a woman should take their judgment—else she is likely
to run her head into the wrong place,” said Grandcourt, conscious of
using pinchers on that white creature. “I suppose you take Deronda for
a saint.”
“Oh dear no!” said Gwendolen, summoning desperately her almost
miraculous power of self-control, and speaking in a high hard tone.
“Only a little less of a monster.”
She rose, pushed her chair away without hurry, and walked out of the
room with something like the care of a man who is afraid of showing
that he has taken more wine than usual. She turned the keys inside her
dressing-room doors, and sat down for some time looking pale and quiet
as when she was leaving the breakfast-room. Even in the moments after
reading the poisonous letter she had hardly had more cruel sensations
than now; for emotion was at the acute point, where it is not
distinguishable from sensation. Deronda unlike what she had believed
him to be, was an image which affected her as a hideous apparition
would have done, quite apart from the way in which it was produced. It
had taken hold of her as pain before she could consider whether it were
fiction or truth; and further to hinder her power of resistance came
the sudden perception, how very slight were the grounds of her faith in
Deronda—how little she knew of his life—how childish she had been in
her confidence. His rebukes and his severity to her began to seem
odious, along with all the poetry and lofty doctrine in the world,
whatever it might be; and the grave beauty of his face seemed the most
unpleasant mask that the common habits of men could put on.
All this went on in her with the rapidity of a sick dream; and her
start into resistance was very much like a waking. Suddenly from out
the gray sombre morning there came a stream of sunshine, wrapping her
in warmth and light where she sat in stony stillness. She moved gently
and looked round her—there was a world outside this bad dream, and the
dream proved nothing; she rose, stretching her arms upward and clasping
her hands with her habitual attitude when she was seeking relief from
oppressive feeling, and walked about the room in this flood of sunbeams.
“It is not true! What does it matter whether _he_ believes it or not?”
This is what she repeated to herself—but this was not her faith come
back again; it was only the desperate cry of faith, finding suffocation
intolerable. And how could she go on through the day in this state?
With one of her impetuous alternations, her imagination flew to wild
actions by which she would convince herself of what she wished: she
would go to Lady Mallinger and question her about Mirah; she would
write to Deronda and upbraid him with making the world all false and
wicked and hopeless to her—to him she dared pour out all the bitter
indignation of her heart. No; she would go to Mirah. This last form
taken by her need was more definitely practicable, and quickly became
imperious. No matter what came of it. She had the pretext of asking
Mirah to sing at her party on the fourth. What was she going to say
beside? How satisfy? She did not foresee—she could not wait to
foresee. If that idea which was maddening her had been a living thing,
she would have wanted to throttle it without waiting to foresee what
would come of the act. She rang her bell and asked if Mr. Grandcourt
were gone out: finding that he was, she ordered the carriage, and began
to dress for the drive; then she went down, and walked about the large
drawing-room like an imprisoned dumb creature, not recognizing herself
in the glass panels, not noting any object around her in the painted
gilded prison. Her husband would probably find out where she had been,
and punish her in some way or other—no matter—she could neither
desire nor fear anything just now but the assurance that she had not
been deluding herself in her trust.
She was provided with Mirah’s address. Soon she was on the way with all
the fine equipage necessary to carry about her poor uneasy heart,
depending in its palpitations on some answer or other to questioning
which she did not know how she should put. She was as heedless of what
happened before she found that Miss Lapidoth was at home, as one is of
lobbies and passages on the way to a court of justice—heedless of
everything till she was in a room where there were folding-doors, and
she heard Deronda’s voice behind it. Doubtless the identification was
helped by forecast, but she was as certain of it as if she had seen
him. She was frightened at her own agitation, and began to unbutton her
gloves that she might button them again, and bite her lips over the
pretended difficulty, while the door opened, and Mirah presented
herself with perfect quietude and a sweet smile of recognition. There
was relief in the sight of her face, and Gwendolen was able to smile in
return, while she put out her hand in silence; and as she seated
herself, all the while hearing the voice, she felt some reflux of
energy in the confused sense that the truth could not be anything that
she dreaded. Mirah drew her chair very near, as if she felt that the
sound of the conversation should be subdued, and looked at her visitor
with placid expectation, while Gwendolen began in a low tone, with
something that seemed like bashfulness,
“Perhaps you wonder to see me—perhaps I ought to have written—but I
wished to make a particular request.”
“I am glad to see you instead of having a letter,” said Mirah,
wondering at the changed expression and manner of the “Vandyke
duchess,” as Hans had taught her to call Gwendolen. The rich color and
the calmness of her own face were in strong contrast with the pale
agitated beauty under the plumed hat.
“I thought,” Gwendolen went on—“at least I hoped, you would not object
to sing at our house on the 4th—in the evening—at a party like Lady
Brackenshaw’s. I should be so much obliged.”
“I shall be very happy to sing for you. At ten?” said Mirah, while
Gwendolen seemed to get more instead of less embarrassed.
“At ten, please,” she answered; then paused, and felt that she had
nothing more to say. She could not go. It was impossible to rise and
say good-bye. Deronda’s voice was in her ears. She must say it—she
could contrive no other sentence,
“Mr. Deronda is in the next room.”
“Yes,” said Mirah, in her former tone. “He is reading Hebrew with my
brother.”
“You have a brother?” said Gwendolen, who had heard this from Lady
Mallinger, but had not minded it then.
“Yes, a dear brother who is ill—consumptive, and Mr. Deronda is the
best of friends to him, as he has been to me,” said Mirah, with the
impulse that will not let us pass the mention of a precious person
indifferently.
“Tell me,” said Gwendolen, putting her hand on Mirah’s, and speaking
hardly above a whisper—“tell me—tell me the truth. You are sure he is
quite good. You know no evil of him. Any evil that people say of him is
false.”
Could the proud-spirited woman have behaved more like a child? But the
strange words penetrated Mirah with nothing but a sense of solemnity
and indignation. With a sudden light in her eyes and a tremor in her
voice, she said,
“Who are the people that say evil of him? I would not believe any evil
of him, if an angel came to tell it me. He found me when I was so
miserable—I was going to drown myself; I looked so poor and forsaken;
you would have thought I was a beggar by the wayside. And he treated me
as if I had been a king’s daughter. He took me to the best of women. He
found my brother for me. And he honors my brother—though he too was
poor—oh, almost as poor as he could be. And my brother honors him.
That is no light thing to say”—here Mirah’s tone changed to one of
profound emphasis, and she shook her head backward: “for my brother is
very learned and great-minded. And Mr. Deronda says there are few men
equal to him.” Some Jewish defiance had flamed into her indignant
gratitude and her anger could not help including Gwendolen since she
seemed to have doubted Deronda’s goodness.
But Gwendolen was like one parched with thirst, drinking the fresh
water that spreads through the frame as a sufficient bliss. She did not
notice that Mirah was angry with her; she was not distinctly conscious
of anything but of the penetrating sense that Deronda and his life were
no more like her husband’s conception than the morning in the horizon
was like the morning mixed with street gas. Even Mirah’s words sank
into the indefiniteness of her relief. She could hardly have repeated
them, or said how her whole state of feeling was changed. She pressed
Mirah’s hand, and said, “Thank you, thank you,” in a hurried whisper,
then rose, and added, with only a hazy consciousness, “I must go, I
shall see you—on the fourth—I am so much obliged”—bowing herself out
automatically, while Mirah, opening the door for her, wondered at what
seemed a sudden retreat into chill loftiness.
Gwendolen, indeed, had no feeling to spare in any effusiveness toward
the creature who had brought her relief. The passionate need of
contradiction to Grandcourt’s estimate of Deronda, a need which had
blunted her sensibility to everything else, was no sooner satisfied
than she wanted to be gone. She began to be aware that she was out of
place, and to dread Deronda’s seeing her. And once in the carriage
again, she had the vision of what awaited her at home. When she drew up
before the door in Grosvenor Square, her husband was arriving with a
cigar between his fingers. He threw it away and handed her out,
accompanying her up-stairs. She turned into the drawing-room, lest he
should follow her farther and give her no place to retreat to; then she
sat down with a weary air, taking off her gloves, rubbing her hand over
her forehead, and making his presence as much of a cipher as possible.
But he sat, too, and not far from her—just in front, where to avoid
looking at him must have the emphasis of effort.
“May I ask where you have been at this extraordinary hour?” said
Grandcourt.
“Oh, yes; I have been to Miss Lapidoth’s, to ask her to come and sing
for us,” said Gwendolen, laying her gloves on the little table beside
her, and looking down at them.
“And to ask her about her relations with Deronda?” said Grandcourt,
with the coldest possible sneer in his low voice which in poor
Gwendolen’s ear was diabolical.
For the first time since their marriage she flashed out upon him
without inward check. Turning her eyes full on his she said, in a
biting tone,
“Yes; and what you said is false—a low, wicked falsehood.”
“She told you so—did she?” returned Grandcourt, with a more thoroughly
distilled sneer.
Gwendolen was mute. The daring anger within her was turned into the
rage of dumbness. What reasons for her belief could she give? All the
reasons that seemed so strong and living within her—she saw them
suffocated and shrivelled up under her husband’s breath. There was no
proof to give, but her own impression, which would seem to him her own
folly. She turned her head quickly away from him and looked angrily
toward the end of the room: she would have risen, but he was in her way.
Grandcourt saw his advantage. “It’s of no consequence so far as her
singing goes,” he said, in his superficial drawl. “You can have her to
sing, if you like.” Then, after a pause, he added in his lowest
imperious tone, “But you will please to observe that you are not to go
near that house again. As my wife, you must take my word about what is
proper for you. When you undertook to be Mrs. Grandcourt, you undertook
not to make a fool of yourself. You have been making a fool of yourself
this morning; and if you were to go on as you have begun, you might
soon get yourself talked of at the clubs in a way you would not like.
What do _you_ know about the world? You have married _me_, and must be
guided by my opinion.”
Every slow sentence of that speech had a terrific mastery in it for
Gwendolen’s nature. If the low tones had come from a physician telling
her that her symptoms were those of a fatal disease, and
prognosticating its course, she could not have been more helpless
against the argument that lay in it. But she was permitted to move now,
and her husband never again made any reference to what had occurred
this morning. He knew the force of his own words. If this white-handed
man with the perpendicular profile had been sent to govern a difficult
colony, he might have won reputation among his contemporaries. He had
certainly ability, would have understood that it was safer to
exterminate than to cajole superseded proprietors, and would not have
flinched from making things safe in that way.
Gwendolen did not, for all this, part with her recovered
faith;—rather, she kept it with a more anxious tenacity, as a
Protestant of old kept his bible hidden or a Catholic his crucifix,
according to the side favored by the civil arm; and it was
characteristic of her that apart from the impression gained concerning
Deronda in that visit, her imagination was little occupied with Mirah
or the eulogised brother. The one result established for her was, that
Deronda had acted simply as a generous benefactor, and the phrase
“reading Hebrew” had fleeted unimpressively across her sense of
hearing, as a stray stork might have made its peculiar flight across
her landscape without rousing any surprised reflection on its natural
history.
But the issue of that visit, as it regarded her husband, took a
strongly active part in the process which made an habitual conflict
within her, and was the cause of some external change perhaps not
observed by any one except Deronda. As the weeks went on bringing
occasional transient interviews with her, he thought that he perceived
in her an intensifying of her superficial hardness and resolute
display, which made her abrupt betrayals of agitation the more marked
and disturbing to him.
In fact, she was undergoing a sort of discipline for the refractory
which, as little as possible like conversion, bends half the self with
a terrible strain, and exasperates the unwillingness of the other half.
Grandcourt had an active divination rather than discernment of
refractoriness in her, and what had happened about Mirah quickened his
suspicion that there was an increase of it dependent on the occasions
when she happened to see Deronda: there was some “confounded nonsense”
between them: he did not imagine it exactly as flirtation, and his
imagination in other branches was rather restricted; but it was
nonsense that evidently kept up a kind of simmering in her mind—an
inward action which might become disagreeable outward. Husbands in the
old time are known to have suffered from a threatening devoutness in
their wives, presenting itself first indistinctly as oddity, and ending
in that mild form of lunatic asylum, a nunnery: Grandcourt had a vague
perception of threatening moods in Gwendolen which the unity between
them in his views of marriage required him peremptorily to check. Among
the means he chose, one was peculiar, and was less ably calculated than
the speeches we have just heard.
He determined that she should know the main purport of the will he was
making, but he could not communicate this himself, because it involved
the fact of his relation to Mrs. Glasher and her children; and that
there should be any overt recognition of this between Gwendolen and
himself was supremely repugnant to him. Like all proud, closely-wrapped
natures, he shrank from explicitness and detail, even on trivialities,
if they were personal: a valet must maintain a strict reserve with him
on the subject of shoes and stockings. And clashing was intolerable to
him; his habitual want was to put collision out of the question by the
quiet massive pressure of his rule. But he wished Gwendolen to know
that before he made her an offer it was no secret to him that she was
aware of his relations with Lydia, her previous knowledge being the
apology for bringing the subject before her now. Some men in his place
might have thought of writing what he wanted her to know, in the form
of a letter. But Grandcourt hated writing: even writing a note was a
bore to him, and he had long been accustomed to have all his writing
done by Lush. We know that there are persons who will forego their own
obvious interest rather than do anything so disagreeable as to write
letters; and it is not probable that these imperfect utilitarians would
rush into manuscript and syntax on a difficult subject in order to save
another’s feelings. To Grandcourt it did not even occur that he should,
would, or could write to Gwendolen the information in question; and the
only medium of communication he could use was Lush, who, to his mind,
was as much of an implement as pen and paper. But here too Grandcourt
had his reserves, and would not have uttered a word likely to encourage
Lush in an impudent sympathy with any supposed grievance in a marriage
which had been discommended by him. Who that has a confidant escapes
believing too little in his penetration, and too much in his
discretion? Grandcourt had always allowed Lush to know his external
affairs indiscriminately—irregularities, debts, want of ready money;
he had only used discrimination about what he would allow his confidant
to say to him; and he had been so accustomed to this human tool, that
the having him at call in London was a recovery of lost ease. It
followed that Lush knew all the provisions of the will more exactly
than they were known to the testator himself.
Grandcourt did not doubt that Gwendolen, since she was a woman who
could put two and two together, knew or suspected Lush to be the
contriver of her interview with Lydia, and that this was the reason why
her first request was for his banishment. But the bent of a woman’s
inferences on mixed subjects which excites mixed passions is not
determined by her capacity for simple addition; and here Grandcourt
lacked the only organ of thinking that could have saved him from
mistake—namely, some experience of the mixed passions concerned. He
had correctly divined one-half of Gwendolen’s dread—all that related
to her personal pride, and her perception that his will must conquer
hers; but the remorseful half, even if he had known of her broken
promise, was as much out of his imagination as the other side of the
moon. What he believed her to feel about Lydia was solely a tongue-tied
jealousy, and what he believed Lydia to have written with the jewels
was the fact that she had once been used to wearing them, with other
amenities such as he imputed to the intercourse with jealous women. He
had the triumphant certainty that he could aggravate the jealousy and
yet smite it with a more absolute dumbness. His object was to engage
all his wife’s egoism on the same side as his own, and in his
employment of Lush he did not intend an insult to her: she ought to
understand that he was the only possible envoy. Grandcourt’s view of
things was considerably fenced in by his general sense, that what
suited him others must put up with. There is no escaping the fact that
want of sympathy condemns us to corresponding stupidity. Mephistopheles
thrown upon real life, and obliged to manage his own plots, would
inevitably make blunders.
One morning he went to Gwendolen in the boudoir beyond the back
drawing-room, hat and gloves in hand, and said with his best-tempered,
most persuasive drawl, standing before her and looking down on her as
she sat with a book on her lap,
“A—Gwendolen, there’s some business about property to be explained. I
have told Lush to come and explain it to you. He knows all about these
things. I am going out. He can come up now. He’s the only person who
can explain. I suppose you’ll not mind.”
“You know that I do mind,” said Gwendolen, angrily, starting up. “I
shall not see him.” She showed the intention to dart away to the door.
Grandcourt was before her, with his back toward it. He was prepared for
her anger, and showed none in return, saying, with the same sort of
remonstrant tone that he might have used about an objection to dining
out,
“It’s no use making a fuss. There are plenty of brutes in the world
that one has to talk to. People with any _savoir vivre_ don’t make a
fuss about such things. Some business must be done. You can’t expect
agreeable people to do it. If I employ Lush, the proper thing for you
is to take it as a matter of course. Not to make a fuss about it. Not
to toss your head and bite your lips about people of that sort.”
The drawling and the pauses with which this speech was uttered gave
time for crowding reflections in Gwendolen, quelling her resistance.
What was there to be told her about property? This word had certain
dominant associations for her, first with her mother, then with Mrs.
Glasher and her children. What would be the use if she refused to see
Lush? Could she ask Grandcourt to tell her himself? That might be
intolerable, even if he consented, which it was certain he would not,
if he had made up his mind to the contrary. The humiliation of standing
an obvious prisoner, with her husband barring the door, was not to be
borne any longer, and she turned away to lean against a cabinet, while
Grandcourt again moved toward her.
“I have arranged for Lush to come up now, while I am out,” he said,
after a long organ stop, during which Gwendolen made no sign. “Shall I
tell him he may come?”
Yet another pause before she could say “Yes”—her face turned obliquely
and her eyes cast down.
“I shall come back in time to ride, if you like to get ready,” said
Grandcourt. No answer. “She is in a desperate rage,” thought he. But
the rage was silent, and therefore not disagreeable to him. It followed
that he turned her chin and kissed her, while she still kept her
eyelids down, and she did not move them until he was on the other side
of the door.
What was she to do? Search where she would in her consciousness, she
found no plea to justify a plaint. Any romantic illusions she had had
in marrying this man had turned on her power of using him as she liked.
He was using her as he liked.
She sat awaiting the announcement of Lush as a sort of searing
operation that she had to go through. The facts that galled her
gathered a burning power when she thought of their lying in his mind.
It was all a part of that new gambling, in which the losing was not
simply a _minus_, but a terrible _plus_ that had never entered into her
reckoning.
Lush was neither quite pleased nor quite displeased with his task.
Grandcourt had said to him by way of conclusion, “Don’t make yourself
more disagreeable than nature obliges you.”
“That depends,” thought Lush. But he said, “I will write a brief
abstract for Mrs. Grandcourt to read.” He did not suggest that he
should make the whole communication in writing, which was a proof that
the interview did not wholly displease him.
Some provision was being made for himself in the will, and he had no
reason to be in a bad humor, even if a bad humor had been common with
him. He was perfectly convinced that he had penetrated all the secrets
of the situation; but he had no diabolical delight in it. He had only
the small movements of gratified self-loving resentment in discerning
that this marriage had fulfilled his own foresight in not being as
satisfactory as the supercilious young lady had expected it to be, and
as Grandcourt wished to feign that it was. He had no persistent spite
much stronger than what gives the seasoning of ordinary scandal to
those who repeat it and exaggerate it by their conjectures. With no
active compassion or good-will, he had just as little active
malevolence, being chiefly occupied in liking his particular pleasures,
and not disliking anything but what hindered those
pleasures—everything else ranking with the last murder and the last
_opéra bouffe_, under the head of things to talk about. Nevertheless,
he was not indifferent to the prospect of being treated uncivilly by a
beautiful woman, or to the counterbalancing fact that his present
commission put into his hands an official power of humiliating her. He
did not mean to use it needlessly; but there are some persons so gifted
in relation to us that their “How do you do?” seems charged with
offense.
By the time that Mr. Lush was announced, Gwendolen had braced herself
to a bitter resolve that he should not witness the slightest betrayal
of her feeling, whatever he might have to tell. She invited him to sit
down with stately quietude. After all, what was this man to her? He was
not in the least like her husband. Her power of hating a coarse,
familiar-mannered man, with clumsy hands, was now relaxed by the
intensity with which she hated his contrast.
He held a small paper folded in his hand while he spoke.
“I need hardly say that I should not have presented myself if Mr.
Grandcourt had not expressed a strong wish to that effect—as no doubt
he has mentioned to you.”
From some voices that speech might have sounded entirely reverential,
and even timidly apologetic. Lush had no intention to the contrary, but
to Gwendolen’s ear his words had as much insolence in them as his
prominent eyes, and the pronoun “you” was too familiar. He ought to
have addressed the folding-screen, and spoke of her as Mrs. Grandcourt.
She gave the smallest sign of a bow, and Lush went on, with a little
awkwardness, getting entangled in what is elegantly called tautology.
“My having been in Mr. Grandcourt’s confidence for fifteen years or
more—since he was a youth, in fact—of course gives me a peculiar
position. He can speak to me of affairs that he could not mention to
any one else; and, in fact, he could not have employed any one else in
this affair. I have accepted the task out of friendship for him. Which
is my apology for accepting the task—if you would have preferred some
one else.”
He paused, but she made no sign, and Lush, to give himself a
countenance in an apology which met no acceptance, opened the folded
paper, and looked at it vaguely before he began to speak again.
“This paper contains some information about Mr. Grandcourt’s will, an
abstract of a part he wished you to know—if you’ll be good enough to
cast your eyes over it. But there is something I had to say by way of
introduction—which I hope you’ll pardon me for, if it’s not quite
agreeable.” Lush found that he was behaving better than he had
expected, and had no idea how insulting he made himself with his “not
quite agreeable.”
“Say what you have to say without apologizing, please,” said Gwendolen,
with the air she might have bestowed on a dog-stealer come to claim a
reward for finding the dog he had stolen.
“I have only to remind you of something that occurred before your
engagement to Mr. Grandcourt,” said Lush, not without the rise of some
willing insolence in exchange for her scorn. “You met a lady in Cardell
Chase, if you remember, who spoke to you of her position with regard to
Mr. Grandcourt. She had children with her—one a very fine boy.”
Gwendolen’s lips were almost as pale as her cheeks; her passion had no
weapons—words were no better than chips. This man’s speech was like a
sharp knife-edge drawn across her skin: but even her indignation at the
employment of Lush was getting merged in a crowd of other feelings, dim
and alarming as a crowd of ghosts.
“Mr. Grandcourt was aware that you were acquainted with this
unfortunate affair beforehand, and he thinks it only right that his
position and intentions should be made quite clear to you. It is an
affair of property and prospects; and if there were any objection you
had to make, if you would mention it to me—it is a subject which of
course he would rather not speak about himself—if you will be good
enough just to read this.” With the last words Lush rose and presented
the paper to her.
When Gwendolen resolved that she would betray no feeling in the
presence of this man, she had not prepared herself to hear that her
husband knew the silent consciousness, the silently accepted terms on
which she had married him. She dared not raise her hand to take the
paper, least it should visibly tremble. For a moment Lush stood holding
it toward her, and she felt his gaze on her as ignominy, before she
could say even with low-toned haughtiness,
“Lay it on the table. And go into the next room, please.”
Lush obeyed, thinking as he took an easy-chair in the back
drawing-room, “My lady winces considerably. She didn’t know what would
be the charge for that superfine article, Henleigh Grandcourt.” But it
seemed to him that a penniless girl had done better than she had any
right to expect, and that she had been uncommonly knowing for her years
and opportunities: her words to Lydia meant nothing, and her running
away had probably been part of her adroitness. It had turned out a
master-stroke.
Meanwhile Gwendolen was rallying her nerves to the reading of the
paper. She must read it. Her whole being—pride, longing for rebellion,
dreams of freedom, remorseful conscience, dread of fresh
visitation—all made one need to know what the paper contained. But at
first it was not easy to take in the meaning of the words. When she had
succeeded, she found that in the case of there being no son as issue of
her marriage, Grandcourt had made the small Henleigh his heir; that was
all she cared to extract from the paper with any distinctness. The
other statement as to what provision would be made for her in the same
case, she hurried over, getting only a confused perception of thousands
and Gadsmere. It was enough. She could dismiss the man in the next room
with the defiant energy which had revived in her at the idea that this
question of property and inheritance was meant as a finish to her
humiliations and her thraldom.
She thrust the paper between the leaves of her book, which she took in
her hand, and walked with her stateliest air into the next room, where
Lush immediately arose, awaiting her approach. When she was four yards
from him, it was hardly an instant that she paused to say in a high
tone, while she swept him with her eyelashes,
“Tell Mr. Grandcourt that his arrangements are just what I
desired”—passing on without haste, and leaving Lush time to mingle
some admiration of her graceful back with that half-amused sense of her
spirit and impertinence, which he expressed by raising his eyebrows and
just thrusting his tongue between his teeth. He really did not want her
to be worse punished, and he was glad to think that it was time to go
and lunch at the club, where he meant to have a lobster salad.
What did Gwendolen look forward to? When her husband returned he found
her equipped in her riding-dress, ready to ride out with him. She was
not again going to be hysterical, or take to her bed and say she was
ill. That was the implicit resolve adjusting her muscles before she
could have framed it in words, as she walked out of the room, leaving
Lush behind her. She was going to act in the spirit of her message, and
not to give herself time to reflect. She rang the bell for her maid,
and went with the usual care through her change of toilet. Doubtless
her husband had meant to produce a great effect on her: by-and-by
perhaps she would let him see an effect the very opposite of what he
intended; but at present all that she could show was a defiant
satisfaction in what had been presumed to be disagreeable. It came as
an instinct rather than a thought, that to show any sign which could be
interpreted as jealousy, when she had just been insultingly reminded
that the conditions were what she had accepted with her eyes open,
would be the worst self-humiliation. She said to herself that she had
not time to-day to be clear about her future actions; all she could be
clear about was that she would match her husband in ignoring any ground
for excitement. She not only rode, but went out with him to dine,
contributing nothing to alter their mutual manner, which was never that
of rapid interchange in discourse; and curiously enough she rejected a
handkerchief on which her maid had by mistake put the wrong scent—a
scent that Grandcourt had once objected to. Gwendolen would not have
liked to be an object of disgust to this husband whom she hated: she
liked all disgust to be on her side.
But to defer thought in this way was something like trying to talk
without singing in her own ears. The thought that is bound up with our
passion is as penetrative as air—everything is porous to it; bows,
smiles, conversation, repartee, are mere honeycombs where such thoughts
rushes freely, not always with a taste of honey. And without shutting
herself up in any solitude, Gwendolen seemed at the end of nine or ten
hours to have gone through a labyrinth of reflection, in which already
the same succession of prospects had been repeated, the same fallacious
outlets rejected, the same shrinking from the necessities of every
course. Already she was undergoing some hardening effect from feeling
that she was under eyes which saw her past actions solely in the light
of her lowest motives. She lived back in the scenes of her courtship,
with the new bitter consciousness of what had been in Grandcourt’s
mind—certain now, with her present experience of him, that he had a
peculiar triumph in conquering her dumb repugnance, and that ever since
their marriage he had had a cold exultation in knowing her fancied
secret. Her imagination exaggerated every tyrannical impulse he was
capable of. “I will insist on being separated from him”—was her first
darting determination; then, “I will leave him whether he consents or
not. If this boy becomes his heir, I have made an atonement.” But
neither in darkness nor in daylight could she imagine the scenes which
must carry out those determinations with the courage to feel them
endurable. How could she run away to her own family—carry distress
among them, and render herself an object of scandal in the society she
had left behind her? What future lay before her as Mrs. Grandcourt gone
back to her mother, who would be made destitute again by the rupture of
the marriage for which one chief excuse had been that it had brought
that mother a maintenance? She had lately been seeing her uncle and
Anna in London, and though she had been saved from any difficulty about
inviting them to stay in Grosvenor Square by their wish to be with Rex,
who would not risk a meeting with her, the transient visit she had had
from them helped now in giving stronger color to the picture of what it
would be for her to take refuge in her own family. What could she say
to justify her flight? Her uncle would tell her to go back. Her mother
would cry. Her aunt and Anna would look at her with wondering alarm.
Her husband would have power to compel her. She had absolutely nothing
that she could allege against him in judicious or judicial ears. And to
“insist on separation!” That was an easy combination of words; but
considered as an action to be executed against Grandcourt, it would be
about as practicable as to give him a pliant disposition and a dread of
other people’s unwillingness. How was she to begin? What was she to say
that would not be a condemnation of herself? “If I am to have misery
anyhow,” was the bitter refrain of her rebellious dreams, “I had better
have the misery that I can keep to myself.” Moreover, her capability of
rectitude told her again and again that she had no right to complain of
her contract, or to withdraw from it.
And always among the images that drove her back to submission was
Deronda. The idea of herself separated from her husband, gave Deronda a
changed, perturbing, painful place in her consciousness: instinctively
she felt that the separation would be from him too, and in the
prospective vision of herself as a solitary, dubiously-regarded woman,
she felt some tingling bashfulness at the remembrance of her behavior
towards him. The association of Deronda with a dubious position for
herself was intolerable. And what would he say if he knew everything?
Probably that she ought to bear what she had brought on herself, unless
she were sure that she could make herself a better woman by taking any
other course. And what sort of woman was she to be—solitary, sickened
of life, looked at with a suspicious kind of pity?—even if she could
dream of success in getting that dreary freedom. Mrs. Grandcourt “run
away” would be a more pitiable creature than Gwendolen Harleth
condemned to teach the bishop’s daughters, and to be inspected by Mrs.
Mompert.
One characteristic trait in her conduct is worth mentioning. She would
not look a second time at the paper Lush had given her; and before
ringing for her maid she locked it up in a traveling-desk which was at
hand, proudly resolved against curiosity about what was allotted to
herself in connection with Gadsmere—feeling herself branded in the
minds of her husband and his confidant with the meanness that would
accept marriage and wealth on any conditions, however dishonorable and
humiliating.
Day after day the same pattern of thinking was repeated. There came
nothing to change the situation—no new elements in the sketch—only a
recurrence which engraved it. The May weeks went on into June, and
still Mrs. Grandcourt was outwardly in the same place, presenting
herself as she was expected to do in the accustomed scenes, with the
accustomed grace, beauty, and costume; from church at one end of the
week, through all the scale of desirable receptions, to opera at the
other. Church was not markedly distinguished in her mind from the other
forms of self-presentation, for marriage had included no instruction
that enabled her to connect liturgy and sermon with any larger order of
the world than that of unexplained and perhaps inexplicable social
fashions. While a laudable zeal was laboring to carry the light of
spiritual law up the alleys where law is chiefly known as the
policeman, the brilliant Mrs. Grandcourt, condescending a little to a
fashionable rector and conscious of a feminine advantage over a learned
dean, was, so far as pastoral care and religious fellowship were
concerned, in as complete a solitude as a man in a lighthouse.
Can we wonder at the practical submission which hid her constructive
rebellion? The combination is common enough, as we know from the number
of persons who make us aware of it in their own case by a clamorous
unwearied statement of the reasons against their submitting to a
situation which, on inquiry, we discover to be the least disagreeable
within their reach. Poor Gwendolen had both too much and too little
mental power and dignity to make herself exceptional. No wonder that
Deronda now marked some hardening in a look and manner which were
schooled daily to the suppression of feeling.
For example. One morning, riding in Rotten Row with Grandcourt by her
side, she saw standing against the railing at the turn, just facing
them, a dark-eyed lady with a little girl and a blonde boy, whom she at
once recognized as the beings in all the world the most painful for her
to behold. She and Grandcourt had just slackened their pace to a walk;
he being on the outer side was the nearer to the unwelcome vision, and
Gwendolen had not presence of mind to do anything but glance away from
the dark eyes that met hers piercingly toward Grandcourt, who wheeled
past the group with an unmoved face, giving no sign of recognition.
Immediately she felt a rising rage against him mingling with her shame
for herself, and the words, “You might at least have raised your hat to
her,” flew impetuously to her lips—but did not pass them. If as her
husband, in her company, he chose to ignore these creatures whom she
herself had excluded from the place she was filling, how could she be
the person to reproach him? She was dumb.
It was not chance, but her own design, that had brought Mrs. Glasher
there with her boy. She had come to town under the pretext of making
purchases—really wanting educational apparatus for her children, and
had had interviews with Lush in which she had not refused to soothe her
uneasy mind by representing the probabilities as all on the side of her
ultimate triumph. Let her keep quiet, and she might live to see the
marriage dissolve itself in one way or other—Lush hinted at several
ways—leaving the succession assured to her boy. She had had an
interview with Grandcourt, too, who had as usual told her to behave
like a reasonable woman, and threatened punishment if she were
troublesome; but had, also as usual, vindicated himself from any wish
to be stingy, the money he was receiving from Sir Hugo on account of
Diplow encouraging him to be lavish. Lydia, feeding on the
probabilities in her favor, devoured her helpless wrath along with that
pleasanter nourishment; but she could not let her discretion go
entirely without the reward of making a Medusa-apparition before
Gwendolen, vindictiveness and jealousy finding relief in an outlet of
venom, though it were as futile as that of a viper already flung on the
other side of the hedge. Hence, each day, after finding out from Lush
the likely time for Gwendolen to be riding, she had watched at that
post, daring Grandcourt so far. Why should she not take little Henleigh
into the Park?
The Medusa-apparition was made effective beyond Lydia’s conception by
the shock it gave Gwendolen actually to see Grandcourt ignoring this
woman who had once been the nearest in the world to him, along with the
children she had borne him. And all the while the dark shadow thus cast
on the lot of a woman destitute of acknowledged social dignity, spread
itself over her visions of a future that might be her own, and made
part of her dread on her own behalf. She shrank all the more from any
lonely action. What possible release could there be for her from this
hated vantage ground, which yet she dared not quit, any more than if
fire had been raining outside it? What release, but death? Not her own
death. Gwendolen was not a woman who could easily think of her own
death as a near reality, or front for herself the dark entrance on the
untried and invisible. It seemed more possible that Grandcourt should
die:—and yet not likely. The power of tyranny in him seemed a power of
living in the presence of any wish that he should die. The thought that
his death was the only possible deliverance for her was one with the
thought that deliverance would never come—the double deliverance from
the injury with which other beings might reproach her and from the yoke
she had brought on her own neck. No! she foresaw him always living, and
her own life dominated by him; the “always” of her young experience not
stretching beyond the few immediate years that seemed immeasurably long
with her passionate weariness. The thought of his dying would not
subsist: it turned as with a dream-change into the terror that she
should die with his throttling fingers on her neck avenging that
thought. Fantasies moved within her like ghosts, making no break in her
more acknowledged consciousness and finding no obstruction in it: dark
rays doing their work invisibly in the broad light.
Only an evening or two after that encounter in the Park, there was a
grand concert at Klesmer’s, who was living rather magnificently now in
one of the large houses in Grosvenor Place, a patron and prince among
musical professors. Gwendolen had looked forward to this occasion as
one on which she was sure to meet Deronda, and she had been meditating
how to put a question to him which, without containing a word that she
would feel a dislike to utter, would yet be explicit enough for him to
understand it. The struggle of opposite feelings would not let her
abide by her instinct that the very idea of Deronda’s relation to her
was a discouragement to any desperate step towards freedom. The next
wave of emotion was a longing for some word of his to enforce a
resolve. The fact that her opportunities of conversation with him had
always to be snatched in the doubtful privacy of large parties, caused
her to live through them many times beforehand, imagining how they
would take place and what she would say. The irritation was
proportionate when no opportunity came; and this evening at Klesmer’s
she included Deronda in her anger, because he looked as calm as
possible at a distance from her, while she was in danger of betraying
her impatience to every one who spoke to her. She found her only safety
in a chill haughtiness which made Mr. Vandernoodt remark that Mrs.
Grandcourt was becoming a perfect match for her husband. When at last
the chances of the evening brought Deronda near her, Sir Hugo and Mrs.
Raymond were close by and could hear every word she said. No matter:
her husband was not near, and her irritation passed without check into
a fit of daring which restored the security of her self-possession.
Deronda was there at last, and she would compel him to do what she
pleased. Already and without effort rather queenly in her air as she
stood in her white lace and green leaves she threw a royal
permissiveness into her way of saying, “I wish you would come and see
me to-morrow between five and six, Mr. Deronda.”
There could be but one answer at that moment: “Certainly,” with a tone
of obedience.
Afterward it occurred to Deronda that he would write a note to excuse
himself. He had always avoided making a call at Grandcourt’s. He could
not persuade himself to any step that might hurt her, and whether his
excuse were taken for indifference or for the affectation of
indifference it would be equally wounding. He kept his promise.
Gwendolen had declined to ride out on the plea of not feeling well
enough having left her refusal to the last moment when the horses were
soon to be at the door—not without alarm lest her husband should say
that he too would stay at home. Become almost superstitious about his
power of suspicious divination, she had a glancing forethought of what
she would do in that case—namely, have herself denied as not well. But
Grandcourt accepted her excuse without remark, and rode off.
Nevertheless when Gwendolen found herself alone, and had sent down the
order that only Mr. Deronda was to be admitted, she began to be alarmed
at what she had done, and to feel a growing agitation in the thought
that he would soon appear, and she should soon be obliged to speak: not
of trivialities, as if she had no serious motive in asking him to come:
and yet what she had been for hours determining to say began to seem
impossible. For the first time the impulse of appeal to him was being
checked by timidity, and now that it was too late she was shaken by the
possibility that he might think her invitation unbecoming. If so, she
would have sunk in his esteem. But immediately she resisted this
intolerable fear as an infection from her husband’s way of thinking.
That _he_ would say she was making a fool of herself was rather a
reason why such a judgment would be remote from Deronda’s mind. But
that she could not rid herself from this sudden invasion of womanly
reticence was manifest in a kind of action which had never occurred to
her before. In her struggle between agitation and the effort to
suppress it, she was walking up and down the length of the two
drawing-rooms, where at one end a long mirror reflected her in her
black dress, chosen in the early morning with a half-admitted reference
to this hour. But above this black dress her head on its white pillar
of a neck showed to advantage. Some consciousness of this made her turn
hastily and hurry to the boudoir, where again there was a glass, but
also, tossed over a chair, a large piece of black lace which she
snatched and tied over her crown of hair so as completely to conceal
her neck, and leave only her face looking out from the black frame. In
this manifest contempt of appearance, she thought it possible to be
freer from nervousness, but the black lace did not take away the
uneasiness from her eyes and lips.
She was standing in the middle of the room when Deronda was announced,
and as he approached her she perceived that he too for some reason was
not his usual self. She could not have defined the change except by
saying that he looked less happy than usual, and appeared to be under
some effort in speaking to her. And yet the speaking was the slightest
possible. They both said, “How do you do?” quite curtly; and Gwendolen,
instead of sitting down, moved to a little distance, resting her arms
slightly on the tall back of a chair, while Deronda stood where he
was,—both feeling it difficult to say any more, though the
preoccupation in his mind could hardly have been more remote than it
was from Gwendolen’s conception. She naturally saw in his embarrassment
some reflection of her own. Forced to speak, she found all her training
in concealment and self-command of no use to her and began with timid
awkwardness,
“You will wonder why I begged you to come. I wanted to ask you
something. You said I was ignorant. That is true. And what can I do but
ask you?”
And at this moment she was feeling it utterly impossible to put the
questions she had intended. Something new in her nervous manner roused
Deronda’s anxiety lest there might be a new crisis. He said with the
sadness of affection in his voice,
“My only regret is, that I can be of so little use to you.” The words
and the tone touched a new spring in her, and she went on with more
sense of freedom, yet still not saying anything she had designed to
say, and beginning to hurry, that she might somehow arrive at the right
words.
“I wanted to tell you that I have always been thinking of your advice,
but is it any use?—I can’t make myself different, because things about
me raise bad feelings—and I must go on—I can alter nothing—it is no
use.”
She paused an instant, with the consciousness that she was not finding
the right words, but began again hurriedly, “But if I go on I shall get
worse. I want not to get worse. I should like to be what you wish.
There are people who are good and enjoy great things—I know there are.
I am a contemptible creature. I feel as if I should get wicked with
hating people. I have tried to think that I would go away from
everybody. But I can’t. There are so many things to hinder me. You
think, perhaps, that I don’t mind. But I do mind. I am afraid of
everything. I am afraid of getting wicked. Tell me what I can do.”
She had forgotten everything but that image of her helpless misery
which she was trying to make present to Deronda in broken allusive
speech—wishing to convey but not express all her need. Her eyes were
tearless, and had a look of smarting in their dilated brilliancy; there
was a subdued sob in her voice which was more and more veiled, till it
was hardly above a whisper. She was hurting herself with the jewels
that glittered on her tightly-clasped fingers pressed against her heart.
The feeling Deronda endured in these moments he afterward called
horrible. Words seemed to have no more rescue in them than if he had
been beholding a vessel in peril of wreck—the poor ship with its
many-lived anguish beaten by the inescapable storm. How could he grasp
the long-growing process of this young creature’s wretchedness?—how
arrest and change it with a sentence? He was afraid of his own voice.
The words that rushed into his mind seemed in their feebleness nothing
better than despair made audible, or than that insensibility to
another’s hardship which applies precept to soothe pain. He felt
himself holding a crowd of words imprisoned within his lips, as if the
letting them escape would be a violation of awe before the mysteries of
our human lot. The thought that urged itself foremost was—“Confess
everything to your husband; have nothing concealed:”—the words carried
in his mind a vision of reasons which would have needed much fuller
expressions for Gwendolen to apprehend them, but before he had begun
those brief sentences, the door opened and the husband entered.
Grandcourt had deliberately gone out and turned back to satisfy a
suspicion. What he saw was Gwendolen’s face of anguish framed black
like a nun’s, and Deronda standing three yards from her with a look of
sorrow such as he might have bent on the last struggle of life in a
beloved object. Without any show of surprise Grandcourt nodded to
Deronda, gave a second look at Gwendolen, passed on, and seated himself
easily at a little distance crossing his legs, taking out his
handkerchief and trifling with it elegantly.
Gwendolen had shrunk and changed her attitude on seeing him, but she
did not turn or move from her place. It was not a moment in which she
could feign anything, or manifest any strong revulsion of feeling: the
passionate movement of her last speech was still too strong within her.
What she felt beside was a dull despairing sense that her interview
with Deronda was at an end: a curtain had fallen. But he, naturally,
was urged into self-possession and effort by susceptibility to what
might follow for her from being seen by her husband in this betrayal of
agitation; and feeling that any pretense of ease in prolonging his
visit would only exaggerate Grandcourt’s possible conjectures of
duplicity, he merely said,
“I will not stay longer now. Good-bye.”
He put out his hand, and she let him press her poor little chill
fingers; but she said no good-bye.
When he had left the room, Gwendolen threw herself into a seat, with an
expectation as dull as her despair—the expectation that she was going
to be punished. But Grandcourt took no notice: he was satisfied to have
let her know that she had not deceived him, and to keep a silence which
was formidable with omniscience. He went out that evening, and her plea
of feeling ill was accepted without even a sneer.
The next morning at breakfast he said, “I am going yachting to the
Mediterranean.”
“When?” said Gwendolen, with a leap of heart which had hope in it.
“The day after to-morrow. The yacht is at Marseilles. Lush is gone to
get everything ready.”
“Shall I have mamma to stay with me, then?” said Gwendolen, the new
sudden possibility of peace and affection filling her mind like a burst
of morning light.
“No; you will go with me.”