الفصل الفصل 25 · Chapter XXV

“CARRIE'S all right. She's finicky, but she'll get over it. But I wish

she'd hurry up about it! What she can't understand is that a fellow

practising medicine in a small town like this has got to cut out the

highbrow stuff, and not spend all his time going to concerts and

shining his shoes. (Not but what he might be just as good at all these

intellectual and art things as some other folks, if he had the time

for it!)” Dr. Will Kennicott was brooding in his office, during a free

moment toward the end of the summer afternoon. He hunched down in his

tilted desk-chair, undid a button of his shirt, glanced at the state

news in the back of the Journal of the American Medical Association,

dropped the magazine, leaned back with his right thumb hooked in the

arm-hole of his vest and his left thumb stroking the back of his hair.

“By golly, she's taking an awful big chance, though. You'd expect her

to learn by and by that I won't be a parlor lizard. She says we try

to 'make her over.' Well, she's always trying to make me over, from a

perfectly good M. D. into a damn poet with a socialist necktie! She'd

have a fit if she knew how many women would be willing to cuddle up to

Friend Will and comfort him, if he'd give 'em the chance! There's still

a few dames that think the old man isn't so darn unattractive! I'm

glad I've ducked all that woman-game since I've been married but----Be

switched if sometimes I don't feel tempted to shine up to some girl that

has sense enough to take life as it is; some frau that doesn't want to

talk Longfellow all the time, but just hold my hand and say, 'You look

all in, honey. Take it easy, and don't try to talk.'

“Carrie thinks she's such a whale at analyzing folks. Giving the town

the once-over. Telling us where we get off. Why, she'd simply turn up

her toes and croak if she found out how much she doesn't know about the

high old times a wise guy could have in this burg on the Q.T., if he

wasn't faithful to his wife. But I am. At that, no matter what faults

she's got, there's nobody here, no, nor in Minn'aplus either, that's as

nice-looking and square and bright as Carrie. She ought to of been an

artist or a writer or one of those things. But once she took a shot at

living here, she ought to stick by it. Pretty----Lord yes. But cold. She

simply doesn't know what passion is. She simply hasn't got an í-dea how

hard it is for a full-blooded man to go on pretending to be satisfied

with just being endured. It gets awful tiresome, having to feel like a

criminal just because I'm normal. She's getting so she doesn't even care

for my kissing her. Well----

“I guess I can weather it, same as I did earning my way through school

and getting started in practise. But I wonder how long I can stand being

an outsider in my own home?”

He sat up at the entrance of Mrs. Dave Dyer. She slumped into a chair

and gasped with the heat. He chuckled, “Well, well, Maud, this is fine.

Where's the subscription-list? What cause do I get robbed for, this

trip?”

“I haven't any subscription-list, Will. I want to see you

professionally.”

“And you a Christian Scientist? Have you given that up? What next? New

Thought or Spiritualism?”

“No, I have not given it up!”

“Strikes me it's kind of a knock on the sisterhood, your coming to see a

doctor!”

“No, it isn't. It's just that my faith isn't strong enough yet. So there

now! And besides, you ARE kind of consoling, Will. I mean as a man, not

just as a doctor. You're so strong and placid.”

He sat on the edge of his desk, coatless, his vest swinging open with

the thick gold line of his watch-chain across the gap, his hands in his

trousers pockets, his big arms bent and easy. As she purred he cocked

an interested eye. Maud Dyer was neurotic, religiocentric, faded; her

emotions were moist, and her figure was unsystematic--splendid thighs

and arms, with thick ankles, and a body that was bulgy in the wrong

places. But her milky skin was delicious, her eyes were alive, her

chestnut hair shone, and there was a tender slope from her ears to the

shadowy place below her jaw.

With unusual solicitude he uttered his stock phrase, “Well, what seems

to be the matter, Maud?”

“I've got such a backache all the time. I'm afraid the organic trouble

that you treated me for is coming back.”

“Any definite signs of it?”

“N-no, but I think you'd better examine me.”

“Nope. Don't believe it's necessary, Maud. To be honest, between old

friends, I think your troubles are mostly imaginary. I can't really

advise you to have an examination.”

She flushed, looked out of the window. He was conscious that his voice

was not impersonal and even.

She turned quickly. “Will, you always say my troubles are imaginary. Why

can't you be scientific? I've been reading an article about these new

nerve-specialists, and they claim that lots of 'imaginary' ailments,

yes, and lots of real pain, too, are what they call psychoses, and they

order a change in a woman's way of living so she can get on a higher

plane----”

“Wait! Wait! Whoa-up! Wait now! Don't mix up your Christian Science and

your psychology! They're two entirely different fads! You'll be mixing

in socialism next! You're as bad as Carrie, with your 'psychoses.'

Why, Good Lord, Maud, I could talk about neuroses and psychoses and

inhibitions and repressions and complexes just as well as any damn

specialist, if I got paid for it, if I was in the city and had the nerve

to charge the fees that those fellows do. If a specialist stung you for

a hundred-dollar consultation-fee and told you to go to New York to duck

Dave's nagging, you'd do it, to save the hundred dollars! But you know

me--I'm your neighbor--you see me mowing the lawn--you figure I'm just

a plug general practitioner. If I said, 'Go to New York,' Dave and you

would laugh your heads off and say, 'Look at the airs Will is putting

on. What does he think he is?'

“As a matter of fact, you're right. You have a perfectly well-developed

case of repression of sex instinct, and it raises the old Ned with your

body. What you need is to get away from Dave and travel, yes, and go to

every dog-gone kind of New Thought and Bahai and Swami and Hooptedoodle

meeting you can find. I know it, well 's you do. But how can I advise

it? Dave would be up here taking my hide off. I'm willing to be family

physician and priest and lawyer and plumber and wet-nurse, but I draw

the line at making Dave loosen up on money. Too hard a job in weather

like this! So, savvy, my dear? Believe it will rain if this heat

keeps----”

“But, Will, he'd never give it to me on my say-so. He'd never let me

go away. You know how Dave is: so jolly and liberal in society, and oh,

just LOVES to match quarters, and such a perfect sport if he loses! But

at home he pinches a nickel till the buffalo drips blood. I have to nag

him for every single dollar.”

“Sure, I know, but it's your fight, honey. Keep after him. He'd simply

resent my butting in.”

He crossed over and patted her shoulder. Outside the window, beyond the

fly-screen that was opaque with dust and cottonwood lint, Main Street

was hushed except for the impatient throb of a standing motor car. She

took his firm hand, pressed his knuckles against her cheek.

“O Will, Dave is so mean and little and noisy--the shrimp! You're

so calm. When he's cutting up at parties I see you standing back and

watching him--the way a mastiff watches a terrier.”

He fought for professional dignity with, “Dave 's not a bad fellow.”

Lingeringly she released his hand. “Will, drop round by the house this

evening and scold me. Make me be good and sensible. And I'm so lonely.”

“If I did, Dave would be there, and we'd have to play cards. It's his

evening off from the store.”

“No. The clerk just got called to Corinth--mother sick. Dave will be in

the store till midnight. Oh, come on over. There's some lovely beer on

the ice, and we can sit and talk and be all cool and lazy. That wouldn't

be wrong of us, WOULD it!”

“No, no, course it wouldn't be wrong. But still, oughtn't to----” He saw

Carol, slim black and ivory, cool, scornful of intrigue.

“All right. But I'll be so lonely.”

Her throat seemed young, above her loose blouse of muslin and

machine-lace.

“Tell you, Maud: I'll drop in just for a minute, if I happen to be

called down that way.”

“If you'd like,” demurely. “O Will, I just want comfort. I know you're

all married, and my, such a proud papa, and of course now----If I could

just sit near you in the dusk, and be quiet, and forget Dave! You WILL

come?”

“Sure I will!”

“I'll expect you. I'll be lonely if you don't come! Good-by.”

He cursed himself: “Darned fool, what 'd I promise to go for? I'll

have to keep my promise, or she'll feel hurt. She's a good, decent,

affectionate girl, and Dave's a cheap skate, all right. She's got more

life to her than Carol has. All my fault, anyway. Why can't I be more

cagey, like Calibree and McGanum and the rest of the doctors? Oh, I

am, but Maud's such a demanding idiot. Deliberately bamboozling me into

going up there tonight. Matter of principle: ought not to let her get

away with it. I won't go. I'll call her up and tell her I won't go.

Me, with Carrie at home, finest little woman in the world, and a

messy-minded female like Maud Dyer--no, SIR! Though there's no need of

hurting her feelings. I may just drop in for a second, to tell her I

can't stay. All my fault anyway; ought never to have started in and

jollied Maud along in the old days. If it's my fault, I've got no right

to punish Maud. I could just drop in for a second and then pretend I

had a country call and beat it. Damn nuisance, though, having to fake up

excuses. Lord, why can't the women let you alone? Just because once or

twice, seven hundred million years ago, you were a poor fool, why can't

they let you forget it? Maud's own fault. I'll stay strictly away. Take

Carrie to the movies, and forget Maud. . . . But it would be kind of hot

at the movies tonight.”

He fled from himself. He rammed on his hat, threw his coat over his arm,

banged the door, locked it, tramped downstairs. “I won't go!” he said

sturdily and, as he said it, he would have given a good deal to know

whether he was going.

He was refreshed, as always, by the familiar windows and faces. It

restored his soul to have Sam Clark trustingly bellow, “Better come down

to the lake this evening and have a swim, doc. Ain't you going to open

your cottage at all, this summer? By golly, we miss you.” He noted the

progress on the new garage. He had triumphed in the laying of every

course of bricks; in them he had seen the growth of the town. His pride

was ushered back to its throne by the respectfulness of Oley Sundquist:

“Evenin', doc! The woman is a lot better. That was swell medicine you

gave her.” He was calmed by the mechanicalness of the tasks at home:

burning the gray web of a tent-worm on the wild cherry tree, sealing

with gum a cut in the right front tire of the car, sprinkling the road

before the house. The hose was cool to his hands. As the bright arrows

fell with a faint puttering sound, a crescent of blackness was formed in

the gray dust.

Dave Dyer came along.

“Where going, Dave?”

“Down to the store. Just had supper.”

“But Thursday 's your night off.”

“Sure, but Pete went home. His mother 's supposed to be sick. Gosh,

these clerks you get nowadays--overpay 'em and then they won't work!”

“That's tough, Dave. You'll have to work clear up till twelve, then.”

“Yup. Better drop in and have a cigar, if you're downtown.

“Well, I may, at that. May have to go down and see Mrs. Champ Perry.

She's ailing. So long, Dave.”

Kennicott had not yet entered the house. He was conscious that Carol was

near him, that she was important, that he was afraid of her disapproval;

but he was content to be alone. When he had finished sprinkling he

strolled into the house, up to the baby's room, and cried to Hugh,

“Story-time for the old man, eh?”

Carol was in a low chair, framed and haloed by the window behind her,

an image in pale gold. The baby curled in her lap, his head on her arm,

listening with gravity while she sang from Gene Field:

'Tis little Luddy-Dud in the morning--

'Tis little Luddy-Dud at night:

And all day long

'Tis the same dear song

Of that growing, crowing, knowing little sprite.

Kennicott was enchanted.

“Maud Dyer? I should say not!”

When the current maid bawled up-stairs, “Supper on de table!” Kennicott

was upon his back, flapping his hands in the earnest effort to be a

seal, thrilled by the strength with which his son kicked him. He slipped

his arm about Carol's shoulder; he went down to supper rejoicing that he

was cleansed of perilous stuff. While Carol was putting the baby to

bed he sat on the front steps. Nat Hicks, tailor and roue, came to sit

beside him. Between waves of his hand as he drove off mosquitos, Nat

whispered, “Say, doc, you don't feel like imagining you're a bacheldore

again, and coming out for a Time tonight, do you?”

“As how?”

“You know this new dressmaker, Mrs. Swiftwaite?--swell dame with

blondine hair? Well, she's a pretty good goer. Me and Harry Haydock are

going to take her and that fat wren that works in the Bon Ton--nice kid,

too--on an auto ride tonight. Maybe we'll drive down to that farm Harry

bought. We're taking some beer, and some of the smoothest rye you ever

laid tongue to. I'm not predicting none, but if we don't have a picnic,

I'll miss my guess.”

“Go to it. No skin off my ear, Nat. Think I want to be fifth wheel in

the coach?”

“No, but look here: The little Swiftwaite has a friend with her from

Winona, dandy looker and some gay bird, and Harry and me thought maybe

you'd like to sneak off for one evening.”

“No--no----”

“Rats now, doc, forget your everlasting dignity. You used to be a pretty

good sport yourself, when you were foot-free.”

It may have been the fact that Mrs. Swiftwaite's friend remained to

Kennicott an ill-told rumor, it may have been Carol's voice, wistful

in the pallid evening as she sang to Hugh, it may have been natural and

commendable virtue, but certainly he was positive:

“Nope. I'm married for keeps. Don't pretend to be any saint. Like to

get out and raise Cain and shoot a few drinks. But a fellow owes a

duty----Straight now, won't you feel like a sneak when you come back to

the missus after your jamboree?”

“Me? My moral in life is, 'What they don't know won't hurt 'em none.'

The way to handle wives, like the fellow says, is to catch 'em early,

treat 'em rough, and tell 'em nothing!”

“Well, that's your business, I suppose. But I can't get away with it.

Besides that--way I figure it, this illicit love-making is the one game

that you always lose at. If you do lose, you feel foolish; and if you

win, as soon as you find out how little it is that you've been scheming

for, why then you lose worse than ever. Nature stinging us, as usual.

But at that, I guess a lot of wives in this burg would be surprised if

they knew everything that goes on behind their backs, eh, Nattie?”

“WOULD they! Say, boy! If the good wives knew what some of the boys get

away with when they go down to the Cities, why, they'd throw a fit!

Sure you won't come, doc? Think of getting all cooled off by a good long

drive, and then the lov-e-ly Swiftwaite's white hand mixing you a good

stiff highball!”

“Nope. Nope. Sorry. Guess I won't,” grumbled Kennicott.

He was glad that Nat showed signs of going. But he was restless. He

heard Carol on the stairs. “Come have a seat--have the whole earth!” he

shouted jovially.

She did not answer his joviality. She sat on the porch, rocked silently,

then sighed, “So many mosquitos out here. You haven't had the screen

fixed.”

As though he was testing her he said quietly, “Head aching again?”

“Oh, not much, but----This maid is SO slow to learn. I have to show her

everything. I had to clean most of the silver myself. And Hugh was so

bad all afternoon. He whined so. Poor soul, he was hot, but he did wear

me out.”

“Uh----You usually want to get out. Like to walk down to the lake shore?

(The girl can stay home.) Or go to the movies? Come on, let's go to the

movies! Or shall we jump in the car and run out to Sam's, for a swim?”

“If you don't mind, dear, I'm afraid I'm rather tired.”

“Why don't you sleep down-stairs tonight, on the couch? Be cooler. I'm

going to bring down my mattress. Come on! Keep the old man company.

Can't tell--I might get scared of burglars. Lettin' little fellow like

me stay all alone by himself!”

“It's sweet of you to think of it, but I like my own room so much. But

you go ahead and do it, dear. Why don't you sleep on the couch, instead

of putting your mattress on the floor? Well I believe I'll run in and

read for just a second--want to look at the last Vogue--and then perhaps

I'll go by-by. Unless you want me, dear? Of course if there's anything

you really WANT me for?”

“No. No. . . . Matter of fact, I really ought to run down and see Mrs.

Champ Perry. She's ailing. So you skip in and----May drop in at the drug

store. If I'm not home when you get sleepy, don't wait up for me.”

He kissed her, rambled off, nodded to Jim Howland, stopped indifferently

to speak to Mrs. Terry Gould. But his heart was racing, his stomach

was constricted. He walked more slowly. He reached Dave Dyer's yard. He

glanced in. On the porch, sheltered by a wild-grape vine, was the

figure of a woman in white. He heard the swing-couch creak as she sat up

abruptly, peered, then leaned back and pretended to relax.

“Be nice to have some cool beer. Just drop in for a second,” he

insisted, as he opened the Dyer gate.

II

Mrs. Bogart was calling upon Carol, protected by Aunt Bessie Smail.

“Have you heard about this awful woman that's supposed to have come here

to do dressmaking--a Mrs. Swiftwaite--awful peroxide blonde?” moaned

Mrs. Bogart. “They say there's some of the awfullest goings-on at her

house--mere boys and old gray-headed rips sneaking in there evenings

and drinking licker and every kind of goings-on. We women can't never

realize the carnal thoughts in the hearts of men. I tell you, even

though I been acquainted with Will Kennicott almost since he was a mere

boy, seems like, I wouldn't trust even him! Who knows what designin'

women might tempt him! Especially a doctor, with women rushin' in to see

him at his office and all! You know I never hint around, but haven't you

felt that----”

Carol was furious. “I don't pretend that Will has no faults. But one

thing I do know: He's as simple-hearted about what you call 'goings-on'

as a babe. And if he ever were such a sad dog as to look at another

woman, I certainly hope he'd have spirit enough to do the tempting, and

not be coaxed into it, as in your depressing picture!”

“Why, what a wicked thing to say, Carrie!” from Aunt Bessie.

“No, I mean it! Oh, of course, I don't mean it! But----I know every

thought in his head so well that he couldn't hide anything even if he

wanted to. Now this morning----He was out late, last night; he had to

go see Mrs. Perry, who is ailing, and then fix a man's hand, and this

morning he was so quiet and thoughtful at breakfast and----” She leaned

forward, breathed dramatically to the two perched harpies, “What do you

suppose he was thinking of?”

“What?” trembled Mrs. Bogart.

“Whether the grass needs cutting, probably! There, there! Don't mind my

naughtiness. I have some fresh-made raisin cookies for you.”