الفصل الفصل 3 · JO'S LAST SCRAPE

Chapter 3. JO'S LAST SCRAPE

The March family had enjoyed a great many surprises in the course of

their varied career, but the greatest of all was when the Ugly Duckling

turned out to be, not a swan, but a golden goose, whose literary eggs

found such an unexpected market that in ten years Jo's wildest and most

cherished dream actually came true. How or why it happened she never

clearly understood, but all of a sudden she found herself famous in a

small way, and, better still, with a snug little fortune in her pocket

to clear away the obstacles of the present and assure the future of her

boys.

It began during a bad year when everything went wrong at Plumfield;

times were hard, the school dwindled, Jo overworked herself and had a

long illness; Laurie and Amy were abroad, and the Bhaers too proud to

ask help even of those as near and dear as this generous pair. Confined

to her room, Jo got desperate over the state of affairs, till she fell

back upon the long-disused pen as the only thing she could do to help

fill up the gaps in the income. A book for girls being wanted by a

certain publisher, she hastily scribbled a little story describing a few

scenes and adventures in the lives of herself and sisters, though boys

were more in her line, and with very slight hopes of success sent it out

to seek its fortune.

Things always went by contraries with Jo. Her first book, laboured over

for years, and launched full of the high hopes and ambitious dreams of

youth, foundered on its voyage, though the wreck continued to float long

afterward, to the profit of the publisher at least. The hastily written

story, sent away with no thought beyond the few dollars it might bring,

sailed with a fair wind and a wise pilot at the helm into public favour,

and came home heavily laden with an unexpected cargo of gold and glory.

A more astonished woman probably never existed than Josephine Bhaer when

her little ship came into port with flags flying, cannon that had been

silent before now booming gaily, and, better than all, many kind faces

rejoicing with her, many friendly hands grasping hers with cordial

congratulations. After that it was plain sailing, and she merely had

to load her ships and send them off on prosperous trips, to bring home

stores of comfort for all she loved and laboured for.

The fame she never did quite accept; for it takes very little fire to

make a great deal of smoke nowadays, and notoriety is not real glory.

The fortune she could not doubt, and gratefully received; though it was

not half so large a one as a generous world reported it to be. The tide

having turned continued to rise, and floated the family comfortably into

a snug harbour where the older members could rest secure from storms,

and whence the younger ones could launch their boats for the voyage of

life.

All manner of happiness, peace, and plenty came in those years to bless

the patient waiters, hopeful workers, and devout believers in the wisdom

and justice of Him who sends disappointment, poverty, and sorrow to try

the love of human hearts and make success the sweeter when it comes.

The world saw the prosperity, and kind souls rejoiced over the improved

fortunes of the family; but the success Jo valued most, the happiness

that nothing could change or take away, few knew much about.

It was the power of making her mother's last years happy and serene; to

see the burden of care laid down for ever, the weary hands at rest, the

dear face untroubled by any anxiety, and the tender heart free to pour

itself out in the wise charity which was its delight. As a girl, Jo's

favourite plan had been a room where Marmee could sit in peace and enjoy

herself after her hard, heroic life. Now the dream had become a happy

fact, and Marmee sat in her pleasant chamber with every comfort and

luxury about her, loving daughters to wait on her as infirmities

increased, a faithful mate to lean upon, and grand-children to brighten

the twilight of life with their dutiful affection. A very precious time

to all, for she rejoiced as only mothers can in the good fortunes of

their children. She had lived to reap the harvest she sowed; had seen

prayers answered, hopes blossom, good gifts bear fruit, peace and

prosperity bless the home she had made; and then, like some brave,

patient angel, whose work was done, turned her face heavenward, glad to

rest.

This was the sweet and sacred side of the change; but it had its droll

and thorny one, as all things have in this curious world of ours. After

the first surprise, incredulity, and joy, which came to Jo, with the

ingratitude of human nature, she soon tired of renown, and began to

resent her loss of liberty. For suddenly the admiring public took

possession of her and all her affairs, past, present, and to come.

Strangers demanded to look at her, question, advise, warn, congratulate,

and drive her out of her wits by well-meant but very wearisome

attentions. If she declined to open her heart to them, they reproached

her; if she refused to endow her pet charities, relieve private wants,

or sympathize with every ill and trial known to humanity, she was called

hard-hearted, selfish, and haughty; if she found it impossible to answer

the piles of letters sent her, she was neglectful of her duty to

the admiring public; and if she preferred the privacy of home to the

pedestal upon which she was requested to pose, 'the airs of literary

people' were freely criticized.

She did her best for the children, they being the public for whom she

wrote, and laboured stoutly to supply the demand always in the mouths of

voracious youth--'More stories; more right away!' Her family objected to

this devotion at their expense, and her health suffered; but for a time

she gratefully offered herself up on the altar of juvenile literature,

feeling that she owed a good deal to the little friends in whose sight

she had found favour after twenty years of effort.

But a time came when her patience gave out; and wearying of being a

lion, she became a bear in nature as in name, and returning to her den,

growled awfully when ordered out. Her family enjoyed the fun, and had

small sympathy with her trials, but Jo came to consider it the worse

scrape of her life; for liberty had always been her dearest possession,

and it seemed to be fast going from her. Living in a lantern soon loses

its charm, and she was too old, too tired, and too busy to like it. She

felt that she had done all that could reasonably be required of her when

autographs, photographs, and autobiographical sketches had been sown

broadcast over the land; when artists had taken her home in all its

aspects, and reporters had taken her in the grim one she always

assumed on these trying occasions; when a series of enthusiastic

boarding-schools had ravaged her grounds for trophies, and a steady

stream of amiable pilgrims had worn her doorsteps with their respectful

feet; when servants left after a week's trial of the bell that rang all

day; when her husband was forced to guard her at meals, and the boys

to cover her retreat out of back windows on certain occasions when

enterprising guests walked in unannounced at unfortunate moments.

A sketch of one day may perhaps explain the state of things, offer some

excuse for the unhappy woman, and give a hint to the autograph-fiend now

rampant in the land; for it is a true tale.

'There ought to be a law to protect unfortunate authors,' said Mrs Jo

one morning soon after Emil's arrival, when the mail brought her an

unusually large and varied assortment of letters. 'To me it is a more

vital subject than international copyright; for time is money, peace is

health, and I lose both with no return but less respect for my fellow

creatures and a wild desire to fly into the wilderness, since I cannot

shut my doors even in free America.'

'Lion-hunters are awful when in search of their prey. If they could

change places for a while it would do them good; and they'd see what

bores they were when they “do themselves the honour of calling to

express their admiration of our charming work”,' quoted Ted, with a bow

to his parent, now frowning over twelve requests for autographs.

'I have made up my mind on one point,' said Mrs Jo with great firmness.

'I will not answer this kind of letter. I've sent at least six to this

boy, and he probably sells them. This girl writes from a seminary, and

if I send her one all the other girls will at once write for more. All

begin by saying they know they intrude, and that I am of course annoyed

by these requests; but they venture to ask because I like boys, or they

like the books, or it is only one. Emerson and Whittier put these things

in the wastepaper-basket; and though only a literary nursery-maid

who provides moral pap for the young, I will follow their illustrious

example; for I shall have no time to eat or sleep if I try to satisfy

these dear unreasonable children'; and Mrs Jo swept away the entire

batch with a sigh of relief.

'I'll open the others and let you eat your breakfast in peace, liebe

Mutter,' said Rob, who often acted as her secretary. 'Here's one from

the South'; and breaking an imposing seal, he read:

'MADAM, As it has pleased Heaven to bless your efforts with a large

fortune, I feel no hesitation in asking you to supply funds to purchase

a new communion-service for our church. To whatever denomination you

belong, you will of course respond with liberality to such a request,

'Respectfully yours,

'MRS X.Y. ZAVIER'

'Send a civil refusal, dear. All I have to give must go to feed and

clothe the poor at my gates. That is my thank-offering for success. Go

on,' answered his mother, with a grateful glance about her happy home.

'A literary youth of eighteen proposes that you put your name to a novel

he has written; and after the first edition your name is to be taken off

and his put on. There's a cool proposal for you. I guess you won't agree

to that, in spite of your soft-heartedness towards most of the young

scribblers.'

'Couldn't be done. Tell him so kindly, and don't let him send the

manuscript. I have seven on hand now, and barely time to read my own,'

said Mrs Jo, pensively fishing a small letter out of the slop-bowl and

opening it with care, because the down-hill address suggested that a

child wrote it.

'I will answer this myself. A little sick girl wants a book, and she

shall have it, but I can't write sequels to all the rest to please her.

I should never come to an end if I tried to suit these voracious little

Oliver Twists, clamouring for more. What next, Robin?'

'This is short and sweet.

'DEAR MRS BHAER, I am now going to give you my opinion of your works.

I have read them all many times, and call them first-rate. Please go

ahead.

'Your admirer,

'BILLY BABCOCK'

'Now that is what I like. Billy is a man of sense and a critic worth

having, since he had read my works many times before expressing his

opinion. He asks for no answer, so send my thanks and regards.'

'Here's a lady in England with seven girls, and she wishes to know your

views upon education. Also what careers they shall follow the oldest

being twelve. Don't wonder she's worried,' laughed Rob.

'I'll try to answer it. But as I have no girls, my opinion isn't worth

much and will probably shock her, as I shall tell her to let them run

and play and build up good, stout bodies before she talks about careers.

They will soon show what they want, if they are let alone, and not all

run in the same mould.'

'Here's a fellow who wants to know what sort of a girl he shall marry,

and if you know of any like those in your stories.'

'Give him Nan's address, and see what he'll get,' proposed Ted,

privately resolving to do it himself if possible.

'This is from a lady who wants you to adopt her child and lend her money

to study art abroad for a few years. Better take it, and try your hand

at a girl, mother.'

'No, thank you, I will keep to my own line of business. What is that

blotted one? It looks rather awful, to judge by the ink,' asked Mrs Jo,

who beguiled her daily task by trying to guess from the outside what

was inside her many letters. This proved to be a poem from an insane

admirer, to judge by its incoherent style.

'TO J.M.B.

'Oh, were I a heliotrope,

I would play poet,

And blow a breeze of fragrance

To you; and none should know it.

'Your form like the stately elm

When Phoebus gilds the morning ray;

Your cheeks like the ocean bed

That blooms a rose in May.

'Your words are wise and bright,

I bequeath them to you a legacy given;

And when your spirit takes its flight,

May it bloom aflower in heaven.

'My tongue in flattering language spoke,

And sweeter silence never broke

in busiest street or loneliest glen.

I take you with the flashes of my pen.

'Consider the lilies, how they grow;

They toil not, yet are fair,

Gems and flowers and Solomon's seal.

The geranium of the world is J. M. Bhaer.

'JAMES'

While the boys shouted over this effusion--which is a true one--their

mother read several liberal offers from budding magazines for her to

edit them gratis; one long letter from a young girl inconsolable because

her favourite hero died, and 'would dear Mrs Bhaer rewrite the tale, and

make it end good?' another from an irate boy denied an autograph, who

darkly foretold financial ruin and loss of favour if she did not

send him and all other fellows who asked autographs, photographs, and

auto-biographical sketches; a minister wished to know her religion;

and an undecided maiden asked which of her two lovers she should marry.

These samples will suffice to show a few of the claims made on a busy

woman's time, and make my readers pardon Mrs Jo if she did not carefully

reply to all.

'That job is done. Now I will dust a bit, and then go to my work. I'm

all behind-hand, and serials can't wait; so deny me to everybody, Mary.

I won't see Queen Victoria if she comes today.' And Mrs Bhaer threw down

her napkin as if defying all creation.

'I hope the day will go well with thee, my dearest,' answered her

husband, who had been busy with his own voluminous correspondence. 'I

will dine at college with Professor Plock, who is to visit us today. The

Junglings can lunch on Parnassus; so thou shalt have a quiet time.' And

smoothing the worried lines out of her forehead with his good-bye kiss,

the excellent man marched away, both pockets full of books, an old

umbrella in one hand, and a bag of stones for the geology class in the

other.

'If all literary women had such thoughtful angels for husbands, they

would live longer and write more. Perhaps that wouldn't be a blessing to

the world though, as most of us write too much now,' said Mrs Jo, waving

her feather duster to her spouse, who responded with flourishes of the

umbrella as he went down the avenue.

Rob started for school at the same time, looking so much like him with

his books and bag and square shoulders and steady air that his mother

laughed as she turned away, saying heartily: 'Bless both my dear

professors, for better creatures never lived!'

Emil was already gone to his ship in the city; but Ted lingered to steal

the address he wanted, ravage the sugar-bowl, and talk with 'Mum';

for the two had great larks together. Mrs Jo always arranged her own

parlour, refilled her vases, and gave the little touches that left it

cool and neat for the day. Going to draw down the curtain, she beheld an

artist sketching on the lawn, and groaned as she hastily retired to the

back window to shake her duster.

At that moment the bell rang and the sound of wheels was heard in the

road.

'I'll go; Mary lets 'em in'; and Ted smoothed his hair as he made for

the hall.

'Can't see anyone. Give me a chance to fly upstairs,' whispered Mrs Jo,

preparing to escape. But before she could do so, a man appeared at the

door with a card in his hand. Ted met him with a stern air, and his

mother dodged behind the window-curtains to bide her time for escape.

'I am doing a series of articles for the Saturday Tattler, and I

called to see Mrs Bhaer the first of all,' began the newcomer in the

insinuating tone of his tribe, while his quick eyes were taking in all

they could, experience having taught him to make the most of his time,

as his visits were usually short ones.

'Mrs Bhaer never sees reporters, sir.'

'But a few moments will be all I ask,' said the man, edging his way

farther in.

'You can't see her, for she is out,' replied Teddy, as a backward glance

showed him that his unhappy parent had vanished--through the window, he

supposed, as she sometimes did when hard bestead.

'Very sorry. I'll call again. Is this her study? Charming room!' And the

intruder fell back on the parlour, bound to see something and bag a fact

if he died in the attempt. 'It is not,' said Teddy, gently but firmly

backing him down the hall, devoutly hoping that his mother had escaped

round the corner of the house.

'If you could tell me Mrs Bhaer's age and birthplace, date of marriage,

and number of children, I should be much obliged,' continued the

unabashed visitor as he tripped over the door-mat.

'She is about sixty, born in Nova Zembla, married just forty years ago

today, and has eleven daughters. Anything else, sir?' And Ted's sober

face was such a funny contrast to his ridiculous reply that the reporter

owned himself routed, and retired laughing just as a lady followed by

three beaming girls came up the steps.

'We are all the way from Oshkosh, and couldn't go home without seein'

dear Aunt Jo. My girls just admire her works, and lot on gettin' a

sight of her. I know it's early; but we are goin' to see Holmes and

Longfeller, and the rest of the celebrities, so we ran out here fust

thing. Mrs Erastus Kingsbury Parmalee, of Oshkosh, tell her. We don't

mind waitin'; we can look round a spell if she ain't ready to see folks

yet.'

All this was uttered with such rapidity that Ted could only stand

gazing at the buxom damsels, who fixed their six blue eyes upon him so

beseechingly that his native gallantry made it impossible to deny them a

civil reply at least.

'Mrs Bhaer is not visible today--out just now, I believe; but you can

see the house and grounds if you like,' he murmured, falling back as the

four pressed in gazing rapturously about them.

'Oh, thank you! Sweet, pretty place I'm sure! That's where she writes,

ain't it? Do tell me if that's her picture! Looks just as I imagined

her!'

With these remarks the ladies paused before a fine engraving of the Hon.

Mrs Norton, with a pen in her hand and a rapt expression of countenance,

likewise a diadem and pearl necklace.

Keeping his gravity with an effort, Teddy pointed to a very bad portrait

of Mrs Jo, which hung behind the door, and afforded her much amusement,

it was so dismal, in spite of a curious effect of light upon the end of

the nose and cheeks as red as the chair she sat in.

'This was taken for my mother; but it is not very good,' he said,

enjoying the struggles of the girls not to look dismayed at the sad

difference between the real and the ideal. The youngest, aged twelve,

could not conceal her disappointment, and turned away, feeling as so

many of us have felt when we discover that our idols are very ordinary

men and women.

'I thought she'd be about sixteen and have her hair braided in two

tails down her back. I don't care about seeing her now,' said the honest

child, walking off to the hall door, leaving her mother to apologize,

and her sisters to declare that the bad portrait was 'perfectly lovely,

so speaking and poetic, you know, 'specially about the brow'.

'Come girls, we must be goin', if we want to get through today. You

can leave your albums and have them sent when Mrs Bhaer has written a

sentiment in 'em. We are a thousand times obliged. Give our best love

to your ma, and tell her we are so sorry not to see her.' Just as

Mrs. Erastus Kingsbury Parmalee uttered the words her eye fell upon a

middle-aged woman in a large checked apron, with a handkerchief tied

over her head, busily dusting an end room which looked like a study.

'One peep at her sanctum since she is out,' cried the enthusiastic lady,

and swept across the hall with her flock before Teddy could warn his

mother, whose retreat had been cut off by the artist in front, the

reporter at the back of the house--for he hadn't gone and the ladies in

the hall.

'They've got her!' thought Teddy, in comical dismay. 'No use for her to

play housemaid since they've seen the portrait.'

Mrs Jo did her best, and being a good actress, would have escaped if the

fatal picture had not betrayed her. Mrs Parmalee paused at the desk, and

regardless of the meerschaum that lay there, the man's slippers close

by, and a pile of letters directed to 'Prof. F. Bhaer', she clasped her

hands, exclaiming impressively: 'Girls, this is the spot where she wrote

those sweet, those moral tales which have thrilled us to the soul! Could

I--ah, could I take one morsel of paper, an old pen, a postage stamp

even, as a memento of this gifted woman?'

'Yes'm, help yourselves,' replied the maid, moving away with a glance at

the boy, whose eyes were now full of merriment he could not suppress.

The oldest girl saw it, guessed the truth, and a quick look at the

woman in the apron confirmed her suspicion. Touching her mother, she

whispered: 'Ma, it's Mrs Bhaer herself. I know it is.'

'No? yes? it is! Well, I do declare, how nice that is!' And hastily

pursuing the unhappy woman, who was making for the door, Mrs Parmalee

cried eagerly:

'Don't mind us! I know you're busy, but just let me take your hand and

then we'll go.'

Giving herself up for lost, Mrs Jo turned and presented her hand like

a tea-tray, submitting to have it heartily shaken, as the matron said,

with somewhat alarming hospitality:

'If ever you come to Oshkosh, your feet won't be allowed to touch the

pavement; for you'll be borne in the arms of the populace, we shall be

so dreadful glad to see you.'

Mentally resolving never to visit that effusive town, Jo responded

as cordially as she could; and having written her name in the albums,

provided each visitor with a memento, and kissed them all round, they at

last departed, to call on 'Longfeller, Holmes, and the rest'--who were

all out, it is devoutly to be hoped.

'You villain, why didn't you give me a chance to whip away? Oh, my dear,

what fibs you told that man! I hope we shall be forgiven our sins in

this line, but I don't know what is to become of us if we don't dodge.

So many against one isn't fair play.' And Mrs Jo hung up her apron in

the hall closet, with a groan at the trials of her lot.

'More people coming up the avenue! Better dodge while the coast is

clear! I'll head them off!' cried Teddy, looking back from the steps, as

he was departing to school.

Mrs Jo flew upstairs, and having locked her door, calmly viewed a young

ladies' seminary camp on the lawn, and being denied the house, proceed

to enjoy themselves by picking the flowers, doing up their hair,

eating lunch, and freely expressing their opinion of the place and its

possessors before they went.

A few hours of quiet followed, and she was just settling down to a long

afternoon of hard work, when Rob came home to tell her that the Young

Men's Christian Union would visit the college, and two or three of the

fellows whom she knew wanted to pay their respects to her on the way.

'It is going to rain, so they won't come, I dare say; but father thought

you'd like to be ready, in case they do call. You always see the boys,

you know, though you harden your heart to the poor girls,' said Rob, who

had heard from his brother about the morning visitations.

'Boys don't gush, so I can stand it. The last time I let in a party of

girls one fell into my arms and said, “Darling, love me!” I wanted to

shake her,' answered Mrs Jo, wiping her pen with energy.

'You may be sure the fellows won't do it, but they will want autographs,

so you'd better be prepared with a few dozen,' said Rob, laying out a

quire of notepaper, being a hospitable youth and sympathizing with those

who admired his mother.

'They can't outdo the girls. At X College I really believe I wrote

three hundred during the day I was there, and I left a pile of cards and

albums on my table when I came away. It is one of the most absurd and

tiresome manias that ever afflicted the world.'

Nevertheless Mrs Jo wrote her name a dozen times, put on her black silk,

and resigned herself to the impending call, praying for rain, however,

as she returned to her work.

The shower came, and feeling quite secure, she rumpled up her hair, took

off her cuffs, and hurried to finish her chapter; for thirty pages a day

was her task, and she liked to have it well done before evening. Josie

had brought some flowers for the vases, and was just putting the last

touches when she saw several umbrellas bobbing down the hill.

'They are coming, Aunty! I see uncle hurrying across the field to

receive them,' she called at the stair-foot.

'Keep an eye on them, and let me know when they enter the avenue.

It will take but a minute to tidy up and run down,' answered Mrs Jo,

scribbling away for dear life, because serials wait for no man, not even

the whole Christian Union en masse.

'There are more than two or three. I see half a dozen at least,' called

sister Ann from the hall door. 'No! a dozen, I do believe; Aunty, look

out; they are all coming! What shall we do?' And Josie quailed at the

idea of facing the black throng rapidly approaching.

'Mercy on us, there are hundreds! Run and put a tub in the back entry

for their umbrellas to drip into. Tell them to go down the hall and

leave them, and pile their hats on the table; the tree won't hold them

all. No use to get mats; my poor carpets!' And down went Mrs Jo to

prepare for the invasion, while Josie and the maids flew about dismayed

at the prospect of so many muddy boots.

On they came, a long line of umbrellas, with splashed legs and flushed

faces underneath; for the gentlemen had been having a good time all over

the town, undisturbed by the rain. Professor Bhaer met them at the gate,

and was making a little speech of welcome, when Mrs Jo, touched by their

bedraggled state, appeared at the door, beckoning them in. Leaving

their host to orate bareheaded in the wet, the young men hastened up the

steps, merry, warm, and eager, clutching off their hats as they came,

and struggling with their umbrellas, as the order was passed to march in

and stack arms.

Tramp, tramp, tramp, down the hall went seventy-five pairs of boots;

soon seventy-five umbrellas dripped sociably in the hospitable tub,

while their owners swarmed all over the lower part of the house; and

seventy-five hearty hands were shaken by the hostess without a murmur,

though some were wet, some very warm, and nearly all bore trophies of

the day's ramble. One impetuous party flourished a small turtle as he

made his compliments; another had a load of sticks cut from noted

spots; and all begged for some memento of Plumfield. A pile of

cards mysteriously appeared on the table, with a written request for

autographs; and despite her morning vow, Mrs Jo wrote everyone, while

her husband and boys did the honours of the house.

Josie fled to the back parlour, but was discovered by exploring youths,

and mortally insulted by one of them, who innocently inquired if she was

Mrs Bhaer. The reception did not last long, and the end was better than

the beginning; for the rain ceased, and a rainbow shone beautifully

over them as the good fellows stood upon the lawn singing sweetly for a

farewell. A happy omen, that bow of promise arched over the young heads,

as if Heaven smiled upon their union, and showed them that above the

muddy earth and rainy skies the blessed sun still shone for all. Three

cheers, and then away they went, leaving a pleasant recollection of

their visit to amuse the family as they scraped the mud off the carpets

with shovels and emptied the tub half-full of water.

'Nice, honest, hard-working fellows, and I don't begrudge my half-hour

at all; but I must finish, so don't let anyone disturb me till

tea-time,' said Mrs Jo, leaving Mary to shut up the house; for papa and

the boys had gone off with the guests, and Josie had run home to tell

her mother about the fun at Aunt Jo's.

Peace reigned for an hour, then the bell rang and Mary came giggling

up to say: 'A queer kind of a lady wants to know if she can catch a

grasshopper in the garden.'

'A what?' cried Mrs Jo, dropping her pen with a blot; for of all the odd

requests ever made, this was the oddest.

'A grasshopper, ma'am. I said you was busy, and asked what she wanted,

and says she: “I've got grasshoppers from the grounds of several famous

folks, and I want one from Plumfield to add to my collection.” Did you

ever?' And Mary giggled again at the idea.

'Tell her to take all there are and welcome. I shall be glad to get rid

of them; always bouncing in my face and getting in my dress,' laughed

Mrs Jo.

Mary retired, to return in a moment nearly speechless with merriment.

'She's much obliged, ma'am, and she'd like an old gown or a pair

of stockings of yours to put in a rug she's making. Got a vest of

Emerson's, she says, and a pair of Mr. Holmes's trousers, and a dress of

Mrs Stowe's. She must be crazy!'

'Give her that old red shawl, then I shall make a gay show among the

great ones in that astonishing rug. Yes, they are all lunatics, these

lion-hunters; but this seems to be a harmless maniac, for she doesn't

take my time, and gives me a good laugh,' said Mrs Jo, returning to her

work after a glance from the window, which showed her a tall, thin lady

in rusty black, skipping wildly to and fro on the lawn in pursuit of the

lively insect she wanted.

No more interruptions till the light began to fade, then Mary popped her

head in to say a gentleman wished to see Mrs Bhaer, and wouldn't take no

for an answer.

'He must. I shall not go down. This has been an awful day, and I won't

be disturbed again,' replied the harassed authoress, pausing in the

midst of the grand finale of her chapter.

'I told him so, ma'am; but he walked right in as bold as brass. I guess

he's another crazy one, and I declare I'm 'most afraid of him, he's

so big and black, and cool as cucumbers, though I will say he's

good-looking,' added Mary, with a simper; for the stranger had evidently

found favour in her sight despite his boldness.

'My day has been ruined, and I will have this last half-hour to finish.

Tell him to go away; I won't go down,' cried Mrs Jo, fiercely.

Mary went; and listening, in spite of herself, her mistress heard first

a murmur of voices, then a cry from Mary, and remembering the ways of

reporters, also that her maid was both pretty and timid, Mrs Bhaer flung

down her pen and went to the rescue. Descending with her most majestic

air she demanded in an awe-inspiring voice, as she paused to survey the

somewhat brigandish intruder, who seemed to be storming the staircase

which Mary was gallantly defending:

'Who is this person who insists on remaining when I have declined to see

him?'

'I'm sure I don't know, ma'am. He won't give no name, and says you'll

be sorry if you don't see him,' answered Mary, retiring flushed and

indignant from her post.

'Won't you be sorry?' asked the stranger, looking up with a pair of

black eyes full of laughter, the flash of white teeth through a long

beard, and both hands out as he boldly approached the irate lady.

Mrs Jo gave one keen look, for the voice was familiar; then completed

Mary's bewilderment by throwing both arms round the brigand's neck,

exclaiming joyfully: 'My dearest boy, where did you come from?'

'California, on purpose to see you, Mother Bhaer. Now won't you be sorry

if I go away?' answered Dan, with a hearty kiss.

'To think of my ordering you out of the house when I've been longing to

see you for a year,' laughed Mrs Jo, and she went down to have a good

talk with her returned wanderer, who enjoyed the joke immensely.