Chapter Chapter 135 · How Pantagruel excuseth Brid

Chapter 3.XLIII.

How Pantagruel excuseth Bridlegoose in the matter of sentencing actions at

law by the chance of the dice.

With this Bridlegoose held his peace. Whereupon Trinquamelle bid him

withdraw from the court--which accordingly was done--and then directed his

discourse to Pantagruel after this manner: It is fitting, most illustrious

prince, not only by reason of the deep obligations wherein this present

parliament, together with the whole marquisate of Mirelingues, stand bound

to your royal highness for the innumerable benefits which, as effects of

mere grace, they have received from your incomparable bounty, but for that

excellent wit also, prime judgment, and admirable learning wherewith

Almighty God, the giver of all good things, hath most richly qualified and

endowed you, we tender and present unto you the decision of this new,

strange, and paradoxical case of Bridlegoose; who, in your presence, to

your both hearing and seeing, hath plainly confessed his final judging and

determinating of suits of law by the mere chance and fortune of the dice.

Therefore do we beseech you that you may be pleased to give sentence

therein as unto you shall seem most just and equitable. To this Pantagruel

answered: Gentlemen, it is not unknown to you how my condition is somewhat

remote from the profession of deciding law controversies; yet, seeing you

are pleased to do me the honour to put that task upon me, instead of

undergoing the office of a judge I will become your humble supplicant. I

observe, gentlemen, in this Bridlegoose several things which induce me to

represent before you that it is my opinion he should be pardoned. In the

first place, his old age; secondly, his simplicity; to both which qualities

our statute and common laws, civil and municipal together, allow many

excuses for any slips or escapes which, through the invincible imperfection

of either, have been inconsiderately stumbled upon by a person so

qualified. Thirdly, gentlemen, I must needs display before you another

case, which in equity and justice maketh much for the advantage of

Bridlegoose, to wit, that this one, sole, and single fault of his ought to

be quite forgotten, abolished, and swallowed up by that immense and vast

ocean of just dooms and sentences which heretofore he hath given and

pronounced; his demeanours, for these forty years and upwards that he hath

been a judge, having been so evenly balanced in the scales of uprightness,

that envy itself till now could not have been so impudent as to accuse and

twit him with any act worthy of a check or reprehension; as, if a drop of

the sea were thrown into the Loire, none could perceive or say that by this

single drop the whole river should be salt and brackish.

Truly, it seemeth unto me, that in the whole series of Bridlegoose’s

juridical decrees there hath been I know not what of extraordinary

savouring of the unspeakable benignity of God, that all those his preceding

sentences, awards, and judgments, have been confirmed and approved of by

yourselves in this your own venerable and sovereign court. For it is

usual, as you know well, with him whose ways are inscrutable, to manifest

his own ineffable glory in blunting the perspicacy of the eyes of the wise,

in weakening the strength of potent oppressors, in depressing the pride of

rich extortioners, and in erecting, comforting, protecting, supporting,

upholding, and shoring up the poor, feeble, humble, silly, and foolish ones

of the earth. But, waiving all these matters, I shall only beseech you,

not by the obligations which you pretend to owe to my family, for which I

thank you, but for that constant and unfeigned love and affection which you

have always found in me, both on this and on the other side of Loire, for

the maintenance and establishment of your places, offices, and dignities,

that for this one time you would pardon and forgive him upon these two

conditions. First, that he satisfy, or put a sufficient surety for the

satisfaction of the party wronged by the injustice of the sentence in

question. For the fulfilment of this article I will provide sufficiently.

And, secondly, that for his subsidiary aid in the weighty charge of

administrating justice you would be pleased to appoint and assign unto him

some pretty little virtuous counsellor, younger, learneder, and wiser than

he, by the square and rule of whose advice he may regulate, guide, temper,

and moderate in times coming all his judiciary procedures; or otherwise, if

you intend totally to depose him from his office, and to deprive him

altogether of the state and dignity of a judge, I shall cordially entreat

you to make a present and free gift of him to me, who shall find in my

kingdoms charges and employments enough wherewith to embusy him, for the

bettering of his own fortunes and furtherance of my service. In the

meantime, I implore the Creator, Saviour, and Sanctifier of all good

things, in his grace, mercy, and kindness, to preserve you all now and

evermore, world without end.

These words thus spoken, Pantagruel, vailing his cap and making a leg with

such a majestic garb as became a person of his paramount degree and

eminency, farewelled Trinquamelle, the president and master-speaker of that

Mirelinguesian parliament, took his leave of the whole court, and went out

of the chamber; at the door whereof finding Panurge, Epistemon, Friar John,

and others, he forthwith, attended by them, walked to the outer gate, where

all of them immediately took horse to return towards Gargantua. Pantagruel

by the way related to them from point to point the manner of Bridlegoose’s

sententiating differences at law. Friar John said that he had seen Peter

Dandin, and was acquainted with him at that time when he sojourned in the

monastery of Fontaine le Comte, under the noble Abbot Ardillon. Gymnast

likewise affirmed that he was in the tent of the grand Christian cavalier

De Crissie, when the Gascon, after his sleep, made answer to the

adventurer. Panurge was somewhat incredulous in the matter of believing

that it was morally possible Bridlegoose should have been for such a long

space of time so continually fortunate in that aleatory way of deciding law

debates. Epistemon said to Pantagruel, Such another story, not much unlike

to that in all the circumstances thereof, is vulgarly reported of the

provost of Montlehery. In good sooth, such a perpetuity of good luck is to

be wondered at. To have hit right twice or thrice in a judgment so given

by haphazard might have fallen out well enough, especially in controversies

that were ambiguous, intricate, abstruse, perplexed, and obscure.