Chapter Chapter 23 · How Gargantua was instructed

Chapter 1.XXIII.

How Gargantua was instructed by Ponocrates, and in such sort disciplinated,

that he lost not one hour of the day.

When Ponocrates knew Gargantua’s vicious manner of living, he resolved to

bring him up in another kind; but for a while he bore with him, considering

that nature cannot endure a sudden change, without great violence.

Therefore, to begin his work the better, he requested a learned physician

of that time, called Master Theodorus, seriously to perpend, if it were

possible, how to bring Gargantua into a better course. The said physician

purged him canonically with Anticyrian hellebore, by which medicine he

cleansed all the alteration and perverse habitude of his brain. By this

means also Ponocrates made him forget all that he had learned under his

ancient preceptors, as Timotheus did to his disciples, who had been

instructed under other musicians. To do this the better, they brought him

into the company of learned men, which were there, in whose imitation he

had a great desire and affection to study otherwise, and to improve his

parts. Afterwards he put himself into such a road and way of studying,

that he lost not any one hour in the day, but employed all his time in

learning and honest knowledge. Gargantua awaked, then, about four o’clock

in the morning. Whilst they were in rubbing of him, there was read unto

him some chapter of the holy Scripture aloud and clearly, with a

pronunciation fit for the matter, and hereunto was appointed a young page

born in Basche, named Anagnostes. According to the purpose and argument of

that lesson, he oftentimes gave himself to worship, adore, pray, and send

up his supplications to that good God, whose Word did show his majesty and

marvellous judgment. Then went he unto the secret places to make excretion

of his natural digestions. There his master repeated what had been read,

expounding unto him the most obscure and difficult points. In returning,

they considered the face of the sky, if it was such as they had observed it

the night before, and into what signs the sun was entering, as also the

moon for that day. This done, he was apparelled, combed, curled, trimmed,

and perfumed, during which time they repeated to him the lessons of the day

before. He himself said them by heart, and upon them would ground some

practical cases concerning the estate of man, which he would prosecute

sometimes two or three hours, but ordinarily they ceased as soon as he was

fully clothed. Then for three good hours he had a lecture read unto him.

This done they went forth, still conferring of the substance of the

lecture, either unto a field near the university called the Brack, or unto

the meadows, where they played at the ball, the long-tennis, and at the

piletrigone (which is a play wherein we throw a triangular piece of iron at

a ring, to pass it), most gallantly exercising their bodies, as formerly

they had done their minds. All their play was but in liberty, for they

left off when they pleased, and that was commonly when they did sweat over

all their body, or were otherwise weary. Then were they very well wiped

and rubbed, shifted their shirts, and, walking soberly, went to see if

dinner was ready. Whilst they stayed for that, they did clearly and

eloquently pronounce some sentences that they had retained of the lecture.

In the meantime Master Appetite came, and then very orderly sat they down

at table. At the beginning of the meal there was read some pleasant

history of the warlike actions of former times, until he had taken a glass

of wine. Then, if they thought good, they continued reading, or began to

discourse merrily together; speaking first of the virtue, propriety,

efficacy, and nature of all that was served in at the table; of bread, of

wine, of water, of salt, of fleshes, fishes, fruits, herbs, roots, and of

their dressing. By means whereof he learned in a little time all the

passages competent for this that were to be found in Pliny, Athenaeus,

Dioscorides, Julius Pollux, Galen, Porphyry, Oppian, Polybius, Heliodore,

Aristotle, Aelian, and others. Whilst they talked of these things, many

times, to be the more certain, they caused the very books to be brought to

the table, and so well and perfectly did he in his memory retain the things

above said, that in that time there was not a physician that knew half so

much as he did. Afterwards they conferred of the lessons read in the

morning, and, ending their repast with some conserve or marmalade of

quinces, he picked his teeth with mastic tooth-pickers, washed his hands

and eyes with fair fresh water, and gave thanks unto God in some fine

cantiques, made in praise of the divine bounty and munificence. This done,

they brought in cards, not to play, but to learn a thousand pretty tricks

and new inventions, which were all grounded upon arithmetic. By this means

he fell in love with that numerical science, and every day after dinner and

supper he passed his time in it as pleasantly as he was wont to do at cards

and dice; so that at last he understood so well both the theory and

practical part thereof, that Tunstall the Englishman, who had written very

largely of that purpose, confessed that verily in comparison of him he had

no skill at all. And not only in that, but in the other mathematical

sciences, as geometry, astronomy, music, &c. For in waiting on the

concoction and attending the digestion of his food, they made a thousand

pretty instruments and geometrical figures, and did in some measure

practise the astronomical canons.

After this they recreated themselves with singing musically, in four or

five parts, or upon a set theme or ground at random, as it best pleased

them. In matter of musical instruments, he learned to play upon the lute,

the virginals, the harp, the Almain flute with nine holes, the viol, and

the sackbut. This hour thus spent, and digestion finished, he did purge

his body of natural excrements, then betook himself to his principal study

for three hours together, or more, as well to repeat his matutinal lectures

as to proceed in the book wherein he was, as also to write handsomely, to

draw and form the antique and Roman letters. This being done, they went

out of their house, and with them a young gentleman of Touraine, named the

Esquire Gymnast, who taught him the art of riding. Changing then his

clothes, he rode a Naples courser, a Dutch roussin, a Spanish jennet, a

barded or trapped steed, then a light fleet horse, unto whom he gave a

hundred carieres, made him go the high saults, bounding in the air, free

the ditch with a skip, leap over a stile or pale, turn short in a ring both

to the right and left hand. There he broke not his lance; for it is the

greatest foolery in the world to say, I have broken ten lances at tilts or

in fight. A carpenter can do even as much. But it is a glorious and

praise-worthy action with one lance to break and overthrow ten enemies.

Therefore, with a sharp, stiff, strong, and well-steeled lance would he

usually force up a door, pierce a harness, beat down a tree, carry away the

ring, lift up a cuirassier saddle, with the mail-coat and gauntlet. All

this he did in complete arms from head to foot. As for the prancing

flourishes and smacking popisms for the better cherishing of the horse,

commonly used in riding, none did them better than he. The cavallerize of

Ferrara was but as an ape compared to him. He was singularly skilful in

leaping nimbly from one horse to another without putting foot to ground,

and these horses were called desultories. He could likewise from either

side, with a lance in his hand, leap on horseback without stirrups, and

rule the horse at his pleasure without a bridle, for such things are useful

in military engagements. Another day he exercised the battle-axe, which he

so dexterously wielded, both in the nimble, strong, and smooth management

of that weapon, and that in all the feats practicable by it, that he passed

knight of arms in the field, and at all essays.

Then tossed he the pike, played with the two-handed sword, with the

backsword, with the Spanish tuck, the dagger, poniard, armed, unarmed, with

a buckler, with a cloak, with a target. Then would he hunt the hart, the

roebuck, the bear, the fallow deer, the wild boar, the hare, the pheasant,

the partridge, and the bustard. He played at the balloon, and made it

bound in the air, both with fist and foot. He wrestled, ran, jumped--not

at three steps and a leap, called the hops, nor at clochepied, called the

hare’s leap, nor yet at the Almains; for, said Gymnast, these jumps are for

the wars altogether unprofitable, and of no use--but at one leap he would

skip over a ditch, spring over a hedge, mount six paces upon a wall, ramp

and grapple after this fashion up against a window of the full height of a

lance. He did swim in deep waters on his belly, on his back, sideways,

with all his body, with his feet only, with one hand in the air, wherein he

held a book, crossing thus the breadth of the river of Seine without

wetting it, and dragged along his cloak with his teeth, as did Julius

Caesar; then with the help of one hand he entered forcibly into a boat,

from whence he cast himself again headlong into the water, sounded the

depths, hollowed the rocks, and plunged into the pits and gulfs. Then

turned he the boat about, governed it, led it swiftly or slowly with the

stream and against the stream, stopped it in his course, guided it with one

hand, and with the other laid hard about him with a huge great oar, hoisted

the sail, hied up along the mast by the shrouds, ran upon the edge of the

decks, set the compass in order, tackled the bowlines, and steered the

helm. Coming out of the water, he ran furiously up against a hill, and

with the same alacrity and swiftness ran down again. He climbed up at

trees like a cat, and leaped from the one to the other like a squirrel. He

did pull down the great boughs and branches like another Milo; then with

two sharp well-steeled daggers and two tried bodkins would he run up by the

wall to the very top of a house like a rat; then suddenly came down from

the top to the bottom, with such an even composition of members that by the

fall he would catch no harm.

He did cast the dart, throw the bar, put the stone, practise the javelin,

the boar-spear or partisan, and the halbert. He broke the strongest bows

in drawing, bended against his breast the greatest crossbows of steel, took

his aim by the eye with the hand-gun, and shot well, traversed and planted

the cannon, shot at butt-marks, at the papgay from below upwards, or to a

height from above downwards, or to a descent; then before him, sideways,

and behind him, like the Parthians. They tied a cable-rope to the top of a

high tower, by one end whereof hanging near the ground he wrought himself

with his hands to the very top; then upon the same track came down so

sturdily and firm that you could not on a plain meadow have run with more

assurance. They set up a great pole fixed upon two trees. There would he

hang by his hands, and with them alone, his feet touching at nothing, would

go back and fore along the foresaid rope with so great swiftness that

hardly could one overtake him with running; and then, to exercise his

breast and lungs, he would shout like all the devils in hell. I heard him

once call Eudemon from St. Victor’s gate to Montmartre. Stentor had never

such a voice at the siege of Troy. Then for the strengthening of his

nerves or sinews they made him two great sows of lead, each of them

weighing eight thousand and seven hundred quintals, which they called

alteres. Those he took up from the ground, in each hand one, then lifted

them up over his head, and held them so without stirring three quarters of

an hour and more, which was an inimitable force. He fought at barriers

with the stoutest and most vigorous champions; and when it came to the

cope, he stood so sturdily on his feet that he abandoned himself unto the

strongest, in case they could remove him from his place, as Milo was wont

to do of old. In whose imitation, likewise, he held a pomegranate in his

hand, to give it unto him that could take it from him. The time being thus

bestowed, and himself rubbed, cleansed, wiped, and refreshed with other

clothes, he returned fair and softly; and passing through certain meadows,

or other grassy places, beheld the trees and plants, comparing them with

what is written of them in the books of the ancients, such as Theophrast,

Dioscorides, Marinus, Pliny, Nicander, Macer, and Galen, and carried home

to the house great handfuls of them, whereof a young page called Rizotomos

had charge; together with little mattocks, pickaxes, grubbing-hooks,

cabbies, pruning-knives, and other instruments requisite for herborizing.

Being come to their lodging, whilst supper was making ready, they repeated

certain passages of that which hath been read, and sat down to table. Here

remark, that his dinner was sober and thrifty, for he did then eat only to

prevent the gnawings of his stomach, but his supper was copious and large,

for he took then as much as was fit to maintain and nourish him; which,

indeed, is the true diet prescribed by the art of good and sound physic,

although a rabble of loggerheaded physicians, nuzzeled in the brabbling

shop of sophisters, counsel the contrary. During that repast was continued

the lesson read at dinner as long as they thought good; the rest was spent

in good discourse, learned and profitable. After that they had given

thanks, he set himself to sing vocally, and play upon harmonious

instruments, or otherwise passed his time at some pretty sports, made with

cards or dice, or in practising the feats of legerdemain with cups and

balls. There they stayed some nights in frolicking thus, and making

themselves merry till it was time to go to bed; and on other nights they

would go make visits unto learned men, or to such as had been travellers in

strange and remote countries. When it was full night before they retired

themselves, they went unto the most open place of the house to see the face

of the sky, and there beheld the comets, if any were, as likewise the

figures, situations, aspects, oppositions, and conjunctions of both the

fixed stars and planets.

Then with his master did he briefly recapitulate, after the manner of the

Pythagoreans, that which he had read, seen, learned, done, and understood

in the whole course of that day.

Then prayed they unto God the Creator, in falling down before him, and

strengthening their faith towards him, and glorifying him for his boundless

bounty; and, giving thanks unto him for the time that was past, they

recommended themselves to his divine clemency for the future. Which being

done, they went to bed, and betook themselves to their repose and rest.