Chapter Chapter 28 · How Picrochole stormed and t

Chapter 1.XXVIII.

How Picrochole stormed and took by assault the rock Clermond, and of

Grangousier’s unwillingness and aversion from the undertaking of war.

Whilst the monk did thus skirmish, as we have said, against those which

were entered within the close, Picrochole in great haste passed the ford of

Vede--a very especial pass--with all his soldiers, and set upon the rock

Clermond, where there was made him no resistance at all; and, because it

was already night, he resolved to quarter himself and his army in that

town, and to refresh himself of his pugnative choler. In the morning he

stormed and took the bulwarks and castle, which afterwards he fortified

with rampiers, and furnished with all ammunition requisite, intending to

make his retreat there, if he should happen to be otherwise worsted; for it

was a strong place, both by art and nature, in regard of the stance and

situation of it. But let us leave them there, and return to our good

Gargantua, who is at Paris very assiduous and earnest at the study of good

letters and athletical exercitations, and to the good old man Grangousier

his father, who after supper warmeth his ballocks by a good, clear, great

fire, and, waiting upon the broiling of some chestnuts, is very serious in

drawing scratches on the hearth, with a stick burnt at the one end,

wherewith they did stir up the fire, telling to his wife and the rest of

the family pleasant old stories and tales of former times.

Whilst he was thus employed, one of the shepherds which did keep the vines,

named Pillot, came towards him, and to the full related the enormous abuses

which were committed, and the excessive spoil that was made by Picrochole,

King of Lerne, upon his lands and territories, and how he had pillaged,

wasted, and ransacked all the country, except the enclosure at Seville,

which Friar John des Entoumeures to his great honour had preserved; and

that at the same present time the said king was in the rock Clermond, and

there, with great industry and circumspection, was strengthening himself

and his whole army. Halas, halas, alas! said Grangousier, what is this,

good people? Do I dream, or is it true that they tell me? Picrochole, my

ancient friend of old time, of my own kindred and alliance, comes he to

invade me? What moves him? What provokes him? What sets him on? What

drives him to it? Who hath given him this counsel? Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, my

God, my Saviour, help me, inspire me, and advise me what I shall do! I

protest, I swear before thee, so be thou favourable to me, if ever I did

him or his subjects any damage or displeasure, or committed any the least

robbery in his country; but, on the contrary, I have succoured and supplied

him with men, money, friendship, and counsel, upon any occasion wherein I

could be steadable for the improvement of his good. That he hath therefore

at this nick of time so outraged and wronged me, it cannot be but by the

malevolent and wicked spirit. Good God, thou knowest my courage, for

nothing can be hidden from thee. If perhaps he be grown mad, and that thou

hast sent him hither to me for the better recovery and re-establishment of

his brain, grant me power and wisdom to bring him to the yoke of thy holy

will by good discipline. Ho, ho, ho, ho, my good people, my friends and my

faithful servants, must I hinder you from helping me? Alas, my old age

required hence-forward nothing else but rest, and all the days of my life I

have laboured for nothing so much as peace; but now I must, I see it well,

load with arms my poor, weary, and feeble shoulders, and take in my

trembling hand the lance and horseman’s mace, to succour and protect my

honest subjects. Reason will have it so; for by their labour am I

entertained, and with their sweat am I nourished, I, my children and my

family. This notwithstanding, I will not undertake war, until I have first

tried all the ways and means of peace: that I resolve upon.

Then assembled he his council, and proposed the matter as it was indeed.

Whereupon it was concluded that they should send some discreet man unto

Picrochole, to know wherefore he had thus suddenly broken the peace and

invaded those lands unto which he had no right nor title. Furthermore,

that they should send for Gargantua, and those under his command, for the

preservation of the country, and defence thereof now at need. All this

pleased Grangousier very well, and he commanded that so it should be done.

Presently therefore he sent the Basque his lackey to fetch Gargantua with

all diligence, and wrote him as followeth.