Kabanata Kabanata 105 · CHAPTER LIII. OF THE TROUBLOUS END AND TERMINATION SANCHO PANZA’S GOVERNMENT CAME TO

. CHAPTER LIII. OF THE TROUBLOUS END AND TERMINATION SANCHO PANZA’S GOVERNMENT CAME TO

CHAPTER LIII.

OF THE TROUBLOUS END AND TERMINATION SANCHO PANZA’S GOVERNMENT CAME TO

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To fancy that in this life anything belonging to it will remain for

ever in the same state is an idle fancy; on the contrary, in it

everything seems to go in a circle, I mean round and round. The spring

succeeds the summer, the summer the fall, the fall the autumn, the

autumn the winter, and the winter the spring, and so time rolls with

never-ceasing wheel. Man’s life alone, swifter than time, speeds onward

to its end without any hope of renewal, save it be in that other life

which is endless and boundless. Thus saith Cide Hamete the Mahometan

philosopher; for there are many that by the light of nature alone,

without the light of faith, have a comprehension of the fleeting nature

and instability of this present life and the endless duration of that

eternal life we hope for; but our author is here speaking of the

rapidity with which Sancho’s government came to an end, melted away,

disappeared, vanished as it were in smoke and shadow. For as he lay in

bed on the night of the seventh day of his government, sated, not with

bread and wine, but with delivering judgments and giving opinions and

making laws and proclamations, just as sleep, in spite of hunger, was

beginning to close his eyelids, he heard such a noise of bell-ringing

and shouting that one would have fancied the whole island was going to

the bottom. He sat up in bed and remained listening intently to try if

he could make out what could be the cause of so great an uproar; not

only, however, was he unable to discover what it was, but as countless

drums and trumpets now helped to swell the din of the bells and shouts,

he was more puzzled than ever, and filled with fear and terror; and

getting up he put on a pair of slippers because of the dampness of the

floor, and without throwing a dressing gown or anything of the kind

over him he rushed out of the door of his room, just in time to see

approaching along a corridor a band of more than twenty persons with

lighted torches and naked swords in their hands, all shouting out, “To

arms, to arms, señor governor, to arms! The enemy is in the island in

countless numbers, and we are lost unless your skill and valour come to

our support.”

Keeping up this noise, tumult, and uproar, they came to where Sancho

stood dazed and bewildered by what he saw and heard, and as they

approached one of them called out to him, “Arm at once, your lordship,

if you would not have yourself destroyed and the whole island lost.”

“What have I to do with arming?” said Sancho. “What do I know about

arms or supports? Better leave all that to my master Don Quixote, who

will settle it and make all safe in a trice; for I, sinner that I am,

God help me, don’t understand these scuffles.”

“Ah, señor governor,” said another, “what slackness of mettle this is!

Arm yourself; here are arms for you, offensive and defensive; come out

to the plaza and be our leader and captain; it falls upon you by right,

for you are our governor.”

“Arm me then, in God’s name,” said Sancho, and they at once produced

two large shields they had come provided with, and placed them upon him

over his shirt, without letting him put on anything else, one shield in

front and the other behind, and passing his arms through openings they

had made, they bound him tight with ropes, so that there he was walled

and boarded up as straight as a spindle and unable to bend his knees or

stir a single step. In his hand they placed a lance, on which he leant

to keep himself from falling, and as soon as they had him thus fixed

they bade him march forward and lead them on and give them all courage;

for with him for their guide and lamp and morning star, they were sure

to bring their business to a successful issue.

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“How am I to march, unlucky being that I am?” said Sancho, “when I

can’t stir my knee-caps, for these boards I have bound so tight to my

body won’t let me. What you must do is carry me in your arms, and lay

me across or set me upright in some postern, and I’ll hold it either

with this lance or with my body.”

“On, señor governor!” cried another, “it is fear more than the boards

that keeps you from moving; make haste, stir yourself, for there is no

time to lose; the enemy is increasing in numbers, the shouts grow

louder, and the danger is pressing.”

Urged by these exhortations and reproaches the poor governor made an

attempt to advance, but fell to the ground with such a crash that he

fancied he had broken himself all to pieces. There he lay like a

tortoise enclosed in its shell, or a side of bacon between two

kneading-troughs, or a boat bottom up on the beach; nor did the gang of

jokers feel any compassion for him when they saw him down; so far from

that, extinguishing their torches they began to shout afresh and to

renew the calls to arms with such energy, trampling on poor Sancho, and

slashing at him over the shield with their swords in such a way that,

if he had not gathered himself together and made himself small and

drawn in his head between the shields, it would have fared badly with

the poor governor, as, squeezed into that narrow compass, he lay,

sweating and sweating again, and commending himself with all his heart

to God to deliver him from his present peril. Some stumbled over him,

others fell upon him, and one there was who took up a position on top

of him for some time, and from thence as if from a watchtower issued

orders to the troops, shouting out, “Here, our side! Here the enemy is

thickest! Hold the breach there! Shut that gate! Barricade those

ladders! Here with your stink-pots of pitch and resin, and kettles of

boiling oil! Block the streets with feather beds!” In short, in his

ardour he mentioned every little thing, and every implement and engine

of war by means of which an assault upon a city is warded off, while

the bruised and battered Sancho, who heard and suffered all, was saying

to himself, “O if it would only please the Lord to let the island be

lost at once, and I could see myself either dead or out of this

torture!” Heaven heard his prayer, and when he least expected it he

heard voices exclaiming, “Victory, victory! The enemy retreats beaten!

Come, señor governor, get up, and come and enjoy the victory, and

divide the spoils that have been won from the foe by the might of that

invincible arm.”

“Lift me up,” said the wretched Sancho in a woebegone voice. They

helped him to rise, and as soon as he was on his feet said, “The enemy

I have beaten you may nail to my forehead; I don’t want to divide the

spoils of the foe, I only beg and entreat some friend, if I have one,

to give me a sup of wine, for I’m parched with thirst, and wipe me dry,

for I’m turning to water.”

They rubbed him down, fetched him wine and unbound the shields, and he

seated himself upon his bed, and with fear, agitation, and fatigue he

fainted away. Those who had been concerned in the joke were now sorry

they had pushed it so far; however, the anxiety his fainting away had

caused them was relieved by his returning to himself. He asked what

o’clock it was; they told him it was just daybreak. He said no more,

and in silence began to dress himself, while all watched him, waiting

to see what the haste with which he was putting on his clothes meant.

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He got himself dressed at last, and then, slowly, for he was sorely

bruised and could not go fast, he proceeded to the stable, followed by

all who were present, and going up to Dapple embraced him and gave him

a loving kiss on the forehead, and said to him, not without tears in

his eyes, “Come along, comrade and friend and partner of my toils and

sorrows; when I was with you and had no cares to trouble me except

mending your harness and feeding your little carcass, happy were my

hours, my days, and my years; but since I left you, and mounted the

towers of ambition and pride, a thousand miseries, a thousand troubles,

and four thousand anxieties have entered into my soul;” and all the

while he was speaking in this strain he was fixing the pack-saddle on

the ass, without a word from anyone. Then having Dapple saddled, he,

with great pain and difficulty, got up on him, and addressing himself

to the majordomo, the secretary, the head-carver, and Pedro Recio the

doctor and several others who stood by, he said, “Make way, gentlemen,

and let me go back to my old freedom; let me go look for my past life,

and raise myself up from this present death. I was not born to be a

governor or protect islands or cities from the enemies that choose to

attack them. Ploughing and digging, vinedressing and pruning, are more

in my way than defending provinces or kingdoms. Saint Peter is very

well at Rome; I mean each of us is best following the trade he was born

to. A reaping-hook fits my hand better than a governor’s sceptre; I’d

rather have my fill of gazpacho than be subject to the misery of a

meddling doctor who kills me with hunger, and I’d rather lie in summer

under the shade of an oak, and in winter wrap myself in a double

sheepskin jacket in freedom, than go to bed between holland sheets and

dress in sables under the restraint of a government. God be with your

worships, and tell my lord the duke that ‘naked I was born, naked I

find myself, I neither lose nor gain;’ I mean that without a farthing I

came into this government, and without a farthing I go out of it, very

different from the way governors commonly leave other islands. Stand

aside and let me go; I have to plaster myself, for I believe every one

of my ribs is crushed, thanks to the enemies that have been trampling

over me to-night.”

“That is unnecessary, señor governor,” said Doctor Recio, “for I will

give your worship a draught against falls and bruises that will soon

make you as sound and strong as ever; and as for your diet I promise

your worship to behave better, and let you eat plentifully of whatever

you like.”

“You spoke late,” said Sancho. “I’d as soon turn Turk as stay any

longer. Those jokes won’t pass a second time. By God I’d as soon remain

in this government, or take another, even if it was offered me between

two plates, as fly to heaven without wings. I am of the breed of the

Panzas, and they are every one of them obstinate, and if they once say

‘odds,’ odds it must be, no matter if it is evens, in spite of all the

world. Here in this stable I leave the ant’s wings that lifted me up

into the air for the swifts and other birds to eat me, and let’s take

to level ground and our feet once more; and if they’re not shod in

pinked shoes of cordovan, they won’t want for rough sandals of hemp;

‘every ewe to her like,’ ‘and let no one stretch his leg beyond the

length of the sheet;’ and now let me pass, for it’s growing late with

me.”

To this the majordomo said, “Señor governor, we would let your worship

go with all our hearts, though it sorely grieves us to lose you, for

your wit and Christian conduct naturally make us regret you; but it is

well known that every governor, before he leaves the place where he has

been governing, is bound first of all to render an account. Let your

worship do so for the ten days you have held the government, and then

you may go and the peace of God go with you.”

“No one can demand it of me,” said Sancho, “but he whom my lord the

duke shall appoint; I am going to meet him, and to him I will render an

exact one; besides, when I go forth naked as I do, there is no other

proof needed to show that I have governed like an angel.”

“By God the great Sancho is right,” said Doctor Recio, “and we should

let him go, for the duke will be beyond measure glad to see him.”

They all agreed to this, and allowed him to go, first offering to bear

him company and furnish him with all he wanted for his own comfort or

for the journey. Sancho said he did not want anything more than a

little barley for Dapple, and half a cheese and half a loaf for

himself; for the distance being so short there was no occasion for any

better or bulkier provant. They all embraced him, and he with tears

embraced all of them, and left them filled with admiration not only at

his remarks but at his firm and sensible resolution.

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