莎士比亚全集· Kabanata 16

Kabanata Kabanata 16 · THE TRAGEDY OF KING LEAR

Contents

ACT I

Scene I. A Room of State in King Lear’s Palace

Scene II. A Hall in the Earl of Gloucester’s Castle

Scene III. A Room in the Duke of Albany’s Palace

Scene IV. A Hall in Albany’s Palace

Scene V. Court before the Duke of Albany’s Palace

ACT II

Scene I. A court within the Castle of the Earl of Gloucester

Scene II. Before Gloucester’s Castle

Scene III. The open Country

Scene IV. Before Gloucester’s Castle

ACT III

Scene I. A Heath

Scene II. Another part of the heath

Scene III. A Room in Gloucester’s Castle

Scene IV. A part of the Heath with a Hovel

Scene V. A Room in Gloucester’s Castle

Scene VI. A Chamber in a Farmhouse adjoining the Castle

Scene VII. A Room in Gloucester’s Castle

ACT IV

Scene I. The heath

Scene II. Before the Duke of Albany’s Palace

Scene III. The French camp near Dover

Scene IV. The French camp. A Tent

Scene V. A Room in Gloucester’s Castle

Scene VI. The country near Dover

Scene VII. A Tent in the French Camp

ACT V

Scene I. The Camp of the British Forces near Dover

Scene II. A field between the two Camps

Scene III. The British Camp near Dover

Dramatis Personæ

LEAR, King of Britain.

GONERIL, eldest daughter to Lear.

REGAN, second daughter to Lear.

CORDELIA, youngest daughter to Lear.

DUKE of ALBANY, married to Goneril.

DUKE of CORNWALL, married to Regan.

KING of FRANCE.

DUKE of BURGUNDY.

EARL of GLOUCESTER.

EDGAR, elder son to Gloucester.

EDMUND, younger bastard son to Gloucester.

EARL of KENT.

FOOL.

OSWALD, steward to Goneril.

CURAN, a Courtier.

OLD MAN, Tenant to Gloucester.

Physician.

An Officer employed by Edmund.

Gentleman, attendant on Cordelia.

A Herald.

Servants to Cornwall.

Knights attending on the King, Officers, Messengers, Soldiers and

Attendants.

SCENE: Britain

ACT I

SCENE I. A Room of State in King Lear’s Palace

Enter Kent, Gloucester and Edmund.

KENT.

I thought the King had more affected the Duke of Albany than Cornwall.

GLOUCESTER.

It did always seem so to us; but now, in the division of the kingdom,

it appears not which of the Dukes he values most, for qualities are so

weighed that curiosity in neither can make choice of either’s moiety.

KENT.

Is not this your son, my lord?

GLOUCESTER.

His breeding, sir, hath been at my charge: I have so often

blush’d to acknowledge him that now I am braz’d to’t.

KENT.

I cannot conceive you.

GLOUCESTER.

Sir, this young fellow’s mother could; whereupon she grew

round-wombed, and had indeed, sir, a son for her cradle ere she

had a husband for her bed. Do you smell a fault?

KENT.

I cannot wish the fault undone, the issue of it being so proper.

GLOUCESTER.

But I have a son, sir, by order of law, some year elder than

this, who yet is no dearer in my account: though this knave came

something saucily to the world before he was sent for, yet was

his mother fair; there was good sport at his making, and the

whoreson must be acknowledged. Do you know this noble gentleman,

Edmund?

EDMUND.

No, my lord.

GLOUCESTER.

My Lord of Kent: remember him hereafter as my honourable friend.

EDMUND.

My services to your lordship.

KENT.

I must love you, and sue to know you better.

EDMUND.

Sir, I shall study deserving.

GLOUCESTER.

He hath been out nine years, and away he shall again. The King

is coming.

[_Sennet within._]

Enter Lear, Cornwall, Albany, Goneril, Regan, Cordelia and Attendants.

LEAR.

Attend the lords of France and Burgundy,

Gloucester.

GLOUCESTER.

I shall, my lord.

[_Exeunt Gloucester and Edmund._]

LEAR.

Meantime we shall express our darker purpose.

Give me the map there. Know that we have divided

In three our kingdom: and ’tis our fast intent

To shake all cares and business from our age;

Conferring them on younger strengths, while we

Unburden’d crawl toward death. Our son of Cornwall,

And you, our no less loving son of Albany,

We have this hour a constant will to publish

Our daughters’ several dowers, that future strife

May be prevented now. The princes, France and Burgundy,

Great rivals in our youngest daughter’s love,

Long in our court have made their amorous sojourn,

And here are to be answer’d. Tell me, my daughters,—

Since now we will divest us both of rule,

Interest of territory, cares of state,—

Which of you shall we say doth love us most?

That we our largest bounty may extend

Where nature doth with merit challenge.—Goneril,

Our eldest born, speak first.

GONERIL.

Sir, I love you more than word can wield the matter;

Dearer than eyesight, space, and liberty;

Beyond what can be valu’d, rich or rare;

No less than life, with grace, health, beauty, honour;

As much as child e’er lov’d, or father found;

A love that makes breath poor and speech unable;

Beyond all manner of so much I love you.

CORDELIA.

[_Aside._] What shall Cordelia speak? Love, and be silent.

LEAR.

Of all these bounds, even from this line to this,

With shadowy forests and with champains rich’d,

With plenteous rivers and wide-skirted meads,

We make thee lady: to thine and Albany’s issue

Be this perpetual.—What says our second daughter,

Our dearest Regan, wife of Cornwall? Speak.

REGAN.

Sir, I am made of the self mettle as my sister,

And prize me at her worth. In my true heart

I find she names my very deed of love;

Only she comes too short, that I profess

Myself an enemy to all other joys

Which the most precious square of sense possesses,

And find I am alone felicitate

In your dear highness’ love.

CORDELIA.

[_Aside._] Then poor Cordelia,

And yet not so; since, I am sure, my love’s

More ponderous than my tongue.

LEAR.

To thee and thine hereditary ever

Remain this ample third of our fair kingdom;

No less in space, validity, and pleasure

Than that conferr’d on Goneril.—Now, our joy,

Although the last and least; to whose young love

The vines of France and milk of Burgundy

Strive to be interess’d; what can you say to draw

A third more opulent than your sisters? Speak.

CORDELIA.

Nothing, my lord.

LEAR.

Nothing?

CORDELIA.

Nothing.

LEAR.

Nothing will come of nothing: speak again.

CORDELIA.

Unhappy that I am, I cannot heave

My heart into my mouth: I love your majesty

According to my bond; no more nor less.

LEAR.

How, how, Cordelia? Mend your speech a little,

Lest you may mar your fortunes.

CORDELIA.

Good my lord,

You have begot me, bred me, lov’d me: I

Return those duties back as are right fit,

Obey you, love you, and most honour you.

Why have my sisters husbands if they say

They love you all? Haply, when I shall wed,

That lord whose hand must take my plight shall carry

Half my love with him, half my care and duty:

Sure I shall never marry like my sisters,

To love my father all.

LEAR.

But goes thy heart with this?

CORDELIA.

Ay, my good lord.

LEAR.

So young, and so untender?

CORDELIA.

So young, my lord, and true.

LEAR.

Let it be so, thy truth then be thy dower:

For, by the sacred radiance of the sun,

The mysteries of Hecate and the night;

By all the operation of the orbs,

From whom we do exist and cease to be;

Here I disclaim all my paternal care,

Propinquity and property of blood,

And as a stranger to my heart and me

Hold thee from this for ever. The barbarous Scythian,

Or he that makes his generation messes

To gorge his appetite, shall to my bosom

Be as well neighbour’d, pitied, and reliev’d,

As thou my sometime daughter.

KENT.

Good my liege,—

LEAR.

Peace, Kent!

Come not between the dragon and his wrath.

I lov’d her most, and thought to set my rest

On her kind nursery. [_To Cordelia._] Hence and avoid my sight!

So be my grave my peace, as here I give

Her father’s heart from her! Call France. Who stirs?

Call Burgundy! Cornwall and Albany,

With my two daughters’ dowers digest this third:

Let pride, which she calls plainness, marry her.

I do invest you jointly with my power,

Pre-eminence, and all the large effects

That troop with majesty. Ourself, by monthly course,

With reservation of an hundred knights,

By you to be sustain’d, shall our abode

Make with you by due turn. Only we shall retain

The name, and all the addition to a king; the sway,

Revenue, execution of the rest,

Beloved sons, be yours; which to confirm,

This coronet part between you.

[_Giving the crown._]

KENT.

Royal Lear,

Whom I have ever honour’d as my king,

Lov’d as my father, as my master follow’d,

As my great patron thought on in my prayers.—

LEAR.

The bow is bent and drawn; make from the shaft.

KENT.

Let it fall rather, though the fork invade

The region of my heart: be Kent unmannerly

When Lear is mad. What wouldst thou do, old man?

Think’st thou that duty shall have dread to speak,

When power to flattery bows? To plainness honour’s bound

When majesty falls to folly. Reverse thy state;

And in thy best consideration check

This hideous rashness: answer my life my judgement,

Thy youngest daughter does not love thee least;

Nor are those empty-hearted, whose low sounds

Reverb no hollowness.

LEAR.

Kent, on thy life, no more.

KENT.

My life I never held but as a pawn

To wage against thine enemies; ne’er fear to lose it,

Thy safety being the motive.

LEAR.

Out of my sight!

KENT.

See better, Lear; and let me still remain

The true blank of thine eye.

LEAR.

Now, by Apollo,—

KENT.

Now by Apollo, King,

Thou swear’st thy gods in vain.

LEAR.

O vassal! Miscreant!

[_Laying his hand on his sword._]

ALBANY and CORNWALL.

Dear sir, forbear!

KENT.

Kill thy physician, and the fee bestow

Upon the foul disease. Revoke thy gift,

Or, whilst I can vent clamour from my throat,

I’ll tell thee thou dost evil.

LEAR.

Hear me, recreant! on thine allegiance, hear me!

Since thou hast sought to make us break our vows,

Which we durst never yet, and with strain’d pride

To come betwixt our sentences and our power,

Which nor our nature, nor our place can bear,

Our potency made good, take thy reward.

Five days we do allot thee for provision,

To shield thee from disasters of the world;

And on the sixth to turn thy hated back

Upon our kingdom: if, on the next day following,

Thy banish’d trunk be found in our dominions,

The moment is thy death. Away! By Jupiter,

This shall not be revok’d.

KENT.

Fare thee well, King: sith thus thou wilt appear,

Freedom lives hence, and banishment is here.

[_To Cordelia._] The gods to their dear shelter take thee, maid,

That justly think’st and hast most rightly said!

[_To Goneril and Regan._] And your large speeches may your deeds

approve,

That good effects may spring from words of love.

Thus Kent, O princes, bids you all adieu;

He’ll shape his old course in a country new.

[_Exit._]

Flourish. Re-enter Gloucester, with France, Burgundy and Attendants.

CORDELIA.

Here’s France and Burgundy, my noble lord.

LEAR.

My Lord of Burgundy,

We first address toward you, who with this king

Hath rivall’d for our daughter: what in the least

Will you require in present dower with her,

Or cease your quest of love?

BURGUNDY.

Most royal majesty,

I crave no more than hath your highness offer’d,

Nor will you tender less.

LEAR.

Right noble Burgundy,

When she was dear to us, we did hold her so;

But now her price is fall’n. Sir, there she stands:

If aught within that little-seeming substance,

Or all of it, with our displeasure piec’d,

And nothing more, may fitly like your grace,

She’s there, and she is yours.

BURGUNDY.

I know no answer.

LEAR.

Will you, with those infirmities she owes,

Unfriended, new adopted to our hate,

Dower’d with our curse, and stranger’d with our oath,

Take her or leave her?

BURGUNDY.

Pardon me, royal sir;

Election makes not up in such conditions.

LEAR.

Then leave her, sir; for, by the power that made me,

I tell you all her wealth. [_To France_] For you, great king,

I would not from your love make such a stray

To match you where I hate; therefore beseech you

T’avert your liking a more worthier way

Than on a wretch whom nature is asham’d

Almost t’acknowledge hers.

FRANCE.

This is most strange,

That she, who even but now was your best object,

The argument of your praise, balm of your age,

The best, the dearest, should in this trice of time

Commit a thing so monstrous, to dismantle

So many folds of favour. Sure her offence

Must be of such unnatural degree

That monsters it, or your fore-vouch’d affection

Fall into taint; which to believe of her

Must be a faith that reason without miracle

Should never plant in me.

CORDELIA.

I yet beseech your majesty,

If for I want that glib and oily art

To speak and purpose not; since what I well intend,

I’ll do’t before I speak,—that you make known

It is no vicious blot, murder, or foulness,

No unchaste action or dishonour’d step,

That hath depriv’d me of your grace and favour;

But even for want of that for which I am richer,

A still soliciting eye, and such a tongue

As I am glad I have not, though not to have it

Hath lost me in your liking.

LEAR.

Better thou hadst

Not been born than not to have pleas’d me better.

FRANCE.

Is it but this?—a tardiness in nature

Which often leaves the history unspoke

That it intends to do? My lord of Burgundy,

What say you to the lady? Love’s not love

When it is mingled with regards that stands

Aloof from the entire point. Will you have her?

She is herself a dowry.

BURGUNDY.

Royal King,

Give but that portion which yourself propos’d,

And here I take Cordelia by the hand,

Duchess of Burgundy.

LEAR.

Nothing: I have sworn; I am firm.

BURGUNDY.

I am sorry, then, you have so lost a father

That you must lose a husband.

CORDELIA.

Peace be with Burgundy!

Since that respects of fortunes are his love,

I shall not be his wife.

FRANCE.

Fairest Cordelia, that art most rich, being poor;

Most choice forsaken; and most lov’d, despis’d!

Thee and thy virtues here I seize upon:

Be it lawful, I take up what’s cast away.

Gods, gods! ’Tis strange that from their cold’st neglect

My love should kindle to inflam’d respect.

Thy dowerless daughter, King, thrown to my chance,

Is queen of us, of ours, and our fair France:

Not all the dukes of waterish Burgundy

Can buy this unpriz’d precious maid of me.

Bid them farewell, Cordelia, though unkind:

Thou losest here, a better where to find.

LEAR.

Thou hast her, France: let her be thine; for we

Have no such daughter, nor shall ever see

That face of hers again. Therefore be gone

Without our grace, our love, our benison.

Come, noble Burgundy.

[_Flourish. Exeunt Lear, Burgundy, Cornwall, Albany, Gloucester and

Attendants._]

FRANCE.

Bid farewell to your sisters.

CORDELIA.

The jewels of our father, with wash’d eyes

Cordelia leaves you: I know you what you are;

And like a sister am most loath to call

Your faults as they are nam’d. Love well our father:

To your professed bosoms I commit him:

But yet, alas, stood I within his grace,

I would prefer him to a better place.

So farewell to you both.

REGAN.

Prescribe not us our duties.

GONERIL.

Let your study

Be to content your lord, who hath receiv’d you

At fortune’s alms. You have obedience scanted,

And well are worth the want that you have wanted.

CORDELIA.

Time shall unfold what plighted cunning hides:

Who covers faults, at last shame derides.

Well may you prosper.

FRANCE.

Come, my fair Cordelia.

[_Exeunt France and Cordelia._]

GONERIL.

Sister, it is not little I have to say of what most nearly

appertains to us both. I think our father will hence tonight.

REGAN.

That’s most certain, and with you; next month with us.

GONERIL.

You see how full of changes his age is; the observation we

have made of it hath not been little: he always loved our

sister most; and with what poor judgement he hath now cast her

off appears too grossly.

REGAN.

’Tis the infirmity of his age: yet he hath ever but slenderly

known himself.

GONERIL.

The best and soundest of his time hath been but rash; then must

we look from his age to receive not alone the imperfections of

long-engrafted condition, but therewithal the unruly waywardness

that infirm and choleric years bring with them.

REGAN.

Such unconstant starts are we like to have from him as this of Kent’s

banishment.

GONERIL.

There is further compliment of leave-taking between France and

him. Pray you let us hit together: if our father carry authority

with such disposition as he bears, this last surrender of his

will but offend us.

REGAN.

We shall further think of it.

GONERIL.

We must do something, and i’ th’ heat.

[_Exeunt._]

SCENE II. A Hall in the Earl of Gloucester’s Castle

Enter Edmund with a

letter.

EDMUND.

Thou, Nature, art my goddess; to thy law

My services are bound. Wherefore should I

Stand in the plague of custom, and permit

The curiosity of nations to deprive me?

For that I am some twelve or fourteen moonshines

Lag of a brother? Why bastard? Wherefore base?

When my dimensions are as well compact,

My mind as generous, and my shape as true

As honest madam’s issue? Why brand they us

With base? With baseness? bastardy? Base, base?

Who, in the lusty stealth of nature, take

More composition and fierce quality

Than doth within a dull stale tired bed

Go to the creating a whole tribe of fops

Got ’tween asleep and wake? Well then,

Legitimate Edgar, I must have your land:

Our father’s love is to the bastard Edmund

As to the legitimate: fine word: legitimate!

Well, my legitimate, if this letter speed,

And my invention thrive, Edmund the base

Shall top the legitimate. I grow, I prosper.

Now, gods, stand up for bastards!

Enter Gloucester.

GLOUCESTER.

Kent banish’d thus! and France in choler parted!

And the King gone tonight! Prescrib’d his pow’r!

Confin’d to exhibition! All this done

Upon the gad!—Edmund, how now! What news?

EDMUND.

So please your lordship, none.

[_Putting up the letter._]

GLOUCESTER.

Why so earnestly seek you to put up that letter?

EDMUND.

I know no news, my lord.

GLOUCESTER.

What paper were you reading?

EDMUND.

Nothing, my lord.

GLOUCESTER.

No? What needed then that terrible dispatch of it into your pocket? The

quality of nothing hath not such need to hide itself. Let’s see. Come,

if it be nothing, I shall not need spectacles.

EDMUND.

I beseech you, sir, pardon me. It is a letter from my brother that I

have not all o’er-read; and for so much as I have perus’d, I find it

not fit for your o’er-looking.

GLOUCESTER.

Give me the letter, sir.

EDMUND.

I shall offend, either to detain or give it. The contents, as in

part I understand them, are to blame.

GLOUCESTER.

Let’s see, let’s see!

EDMUND.

I hope, for my brother’s justification, he wrote this but as an

essay, or taste of my virtue.

GLOUCESTER.

[_Reads._] ‘This policy and reverence of age makes the world

bitter to the best of our times; keeps our fortunes from us

till our oldness cannot relish them. I begin to find an idle

and fond bondage in the oppression of aged tyranny; who sways

not as it hath power, but as it is suffered. Come to me, that

of this I may speak more. If our father would sleep till I

waked him, you should enjoy half his revenue for ever, and live

the beloved of your brother EDGAR.’

Hum! Conspiracy? ‘Sleep till I wake him, you should enjoy half

his revenue.’—My son Edgar! Had he a hand to write this? A heart

and brain to breed it in? When came this to you? Who brought it?

EDMUND.

It was not brought me, my lord, there’s the cunning of it. I

found it thrown in at the casement of my closet.

GLOUCESTER.

You know the character to be your brother’s?

EDMUND.

If the matter were good, my lord, I durst swear it were his; but

in respect of that, I would fain think it were not.

GLOUCESTER.

It is his.

EDMUND.

It is his hand, my lord; but I hope his heart is not in the

contents.

GLOUCESTER.

Has he never before sounded you in this business?

EDMUND.

Never, my lord. But I have heard him oft maintain it to be fit

that, sons at perfect age, and fathers declined, the father

should be as ward to the son, and the son manage his revenue.

GLOUCESTER.

O villain, villain! His very opinion in the letter! Abhorred

villain! Unnatural, detested, brutish villain! worse than

brutish! Go, sirrah, seek him; I’ll apprehend him. Abominable

villain, Where is he?

EDMUND.

I do not well know, my lord. If it shall please you to suspend

your indignation against my brother till you can derive from him

better testimony of his intent, you should run a certain course;

where, if you violently proceed against him, mistaking his

purpose, it would make a great gap in your own honour, and shake

in pieces the heart of his obedience. I dare pawn down my life

for him, that he hath writ this to feel my affection to your

honour, and to no other pretence of danger.

GLOUCESTER.

Think you so?

EDMUND.

If your honour judge it meet, I will place you where you shall hear us

confer of this, and by an auricular assurance have your satisfaction,

and that without any further delay than this very evening.

GLOUCESTER.

He cannot be such a monster.

EDMUND.

Nor is not, sure.

GLOUCESTER.

To his father, that so tenderly and entirely loves him. Heaven

and earth! Edmund, seek him out; wind me into him, I pray you:

frame the business after your own wisdom. I would unstate myself

to be in a due resolution.

EDMUND.

I will seek him, sir, presently; convey the business as I shall

find means, and acquaint you withal.

GLOUCESTER.

These late eclipses in the sun and moon portend no good to us:

though the wisdom of Nature can reason it thus and thus, yet

nature finds itself scourged by the sequent effects. Love cools,

friendship falls off, brothers divide: in cities, mutinies; in

countries, discord; in palaces, treason; and the bond cracked

’twixt son and father. This villain of mine comes under the

prediction; there’s son against father: the King falls from

bias of nature; there’s father against child. We have seen the

best of our time. Machinations, hollowness, treachery, and all

ruinous disorders follow us disquietly to our graves. Find out

this villain, Edmund; it shall lose thee nothing; do it

carefully.—And the noble and true-hearted Kent banished! his

offence, honesty! ’Tis strange.

[_Exit._]

EDMUND.

This is the excellent foppery of the world, that, when we are

sick in fortune, often the surfeits of our own behaviour, we

make guilty of our disasters the sun, the moon, and the stars; as

if we were villains on necessity; fools by heavenly compulsion;

knaves, thieves, and treachers by spherical predominance;

drunkards, liars, and adulterers by an enforced obedience of

planetary influence; and all that we are evil in, by a divine

thrusting on. An admirable evasion of whoremaster man, to lay his

goatish disposition to the charge of a star. My father compounded

with my mother under the dragon’s tail, and my nativity was under

Ursa Major, so that it follows I am rough and lecherous. Fut! I

should have been that I am, had the maidenliest star in the

firmament twinkled on my bastardizing.

Enter Edgar.

Pat! he comes, like the catastrophe of the old comedy: my cue

is villainous melancholy, with a sigh like Tom o’Bedlam.—O,

these eclipses do portend these divisions! Fa, sol, la, mi.

EDGAR.

How now, brother Edmund, what serious contemplation are you in?

EDMUND.

I am thinking, brother, of a prediction I read this other day,

what should follow these eclipses.

EDGAR.

Do you busy yourself with that?

EDMUND.

I promise you, the effects he writes of succeed unhappily: as of

unnaturalness between the child and the parent; death, dearth,

dissolutions of ancient amities; divisions in state, menaces and

maledictions against King and nobles; needless diffidences,

banishment of friends, dissipation of cohorts, nuptial breaches,

and I know not what.

EDGAR.

How long have you been a sectary astronomical?

EDMUND.

Come, come! when saw you my father last?

EDGAR.

The night gone by.

EDMUND.

Spake you with him?

EDGAR.

Ay, two hours together.

EDMUND.

Parted you in good terms? Found you no displeasure in him, by word

nor countenance?

EDGAR.

None at all.

EDMUND.

Bethink yourself wherein you may have offended him: and at my

entreaty forbear his presence until some little time hath

qualified the heat of his displeasure; which at this instant so

rageth in him that with the mischief of your person it would

scarcely allay.

EDGAR.

Some villain hath done me wrong.

EDMUND.

That’s my fear. I pray you have a continent forbearance till the

speed of his rage goes slower; and, as I say, retire with me to

my lodging, from whence I will fitly bring you to hear my lord

speak: pray ye, go; there’s my key. If you do stir abroad, go

armed.

EDGAR.

Armed, brother?

EDMUND.

Brother, I advise you to the best; I am no honest man

if there be any good meaning toward you: I have told you what I

have seen and heard. But faintly; nothing like the image and

horror of it: pray you, away!

EDGAR.

Shall I hear from you anon?

EDMUND.

I do serve you in this business.

[_Exit Edgar._]

A credulous father! and a brother noble,

Whose nature is so far from doing harms

That he suspects none; on whose foolish honesty

My practices ride easy! I see the business.

Let me, if not by birth, have lands by wit;

All with me’s meet that I can fashion fit.

[_Exit._]

SCENE III. A Room in the Duke of Albany’s Palace

Enter Goneril and Oswald.

GONERIL.

Did my father strike my gentleman for chiding of his fool?

OSWALD.

Ay, madam.

GONERIL.

By day and night, he wrongs me; every hour

He flashes into one gross crime or other,

That sets us all at odds; I’ll not endure it:

His knights grow riotous, and himself upbraids us

On every trifle. When he returns from hunting,

I will not speak with him; say I am sick.

If you come slack of former services,

You shall do well; the fault of it I’ll answer.

[_Horns within._]

OSWALD.

He’s coming, madam; I hear him.

GONERIL.

Put on what weary negligence you please,

You and your fellows; I’d have it come to question:

If he distaste it, let him to our sister,

Whose mind and mine, I know, in that are one,

Not to be overruled. Idle old man,

That still would manage those authorities

That he hath given away! Now, by my life,

Old fools are babes again; and must be us’d

With checks as flatteries, when they are seen abus’d.

Remember what I have said.

OSWALD.

Very well, madam.

GONERIL.

And let his knights have colder looks among you;

What grows of it, no matter; advise your fellows so;

I would breed from hence occasions, and I shall,

That I may speak. I’ll write straight to my sister

To hold my very course. Prepare for dinner.

[_Exeunt._]

SCENE IV. A Hall in Albany’s Palace

Enter Kent, disguised.

KENT.

If but as well I other accents borrow,

That can my speech defuse, my good intent

May carry through itself to that full issue

For which I rais’d my likeness. Now, banish’d Kent,

If thou canst serve where thou dost stand condemn’d,

So may it come, thy master, whom thou lov’st,

Shall find thee full of labours.

Horns within. Enter King

Lear, Knights and Attendants.

LEAR.

Let me not stay a jot for dinner; go get it ready.

[_Exit an Attendant._]

How now! what art thou?

KENT.

A man, sir.

LEAR.

What dost thou profess? What wouldst thou with us?

KENT.

I do profess to be no less than I seem; to serve him truly that

will put me in trust; to love him that is honest; to converse

with him that is wise and says little; to fear judgement; to fight

when I cannot choose; and to eat no fish.

LEAR.

What art thou?

KENT.

A very honest-hearted fellow, and as poor as the King.

LEAR.

If thou be’st as poor for a subject as he’s for a king, thou art

poor enough. What wouldst thou?

KENT.

Service.

LEAR.

Who wouldst thou serve?

KENT.

You.

LEAR.

Dost thou know me, fellow?

KENT.

No, sir; but you have that in your countenance which I would fain

call master.

LEAR.

What’s that?

KENT.

Authority.

LEAR.

What services canst thou do?

KENT.

I can keep honest counsel, ride, run, mar a curious tale in

telling it and deliver a plain message bluntly. That which

ordinary men are fit for, I am qualified in, and the best of

me is diligence.

LEAR.

How old art thou?

KENT.

Not so young, sir, to love a woman for singing; nor so old to

dote on her for anything: I have years on my back forty-eight.

LEAR.

Follow me; thou shalt serve me. If I like thee no worse after dinner, I

will not part from thee yet. Dinner, ho, dinner! Where’s my knave? my

fool? Go you and call my fool hither.

[_Exit an Attendant._]

Enter Oswald.

You, you, sirrah, where’s my daughter?

OSWALD.

So please you,—

[_Exit._]

LEAR.

What says the fellow there? Call the clotpoll back.

[_Exit a Knight._]

Where’s my fool? Ho, I think the world’s asleep.

Re-enter Knight.

How now! where’s that mongrel?

KNIGHT.

He says, my lord, your daughter is not well.

LEAR.

Why came not the slave back to me when I called him?

KNIGHT.

Sir, he answered me in the roundest manner, he would not.

LEAR.

He would not?

KNIGHT.

My lord, I know not what the matter is; but to my judgement your

highness is not entertained with that ceremonious affection as

you were wont; there’s a great abatement of kindness appears as

well in the general dependants as in the Duke himself also, and

your daughter.

LEAR.

Ha! say’st thou so?

KNIGHT.

I beseech you pardon me, my lord, if I be mistaken; for my duty

cannot be silent when I think your highness wronged.

LEAR.

Thou but rememberest me of mine own conception: I have perceived

a most faint neglect of late; which I have rather blamed as mine

own jealous curiosity than as a very pretence and purpose of

unkindness: I will look further into’t. But where’s my fool? I

have not seen him this two days.

KNIGHT.

Since my young lady’s going into France, sir, the fool hath much

pined away.

LEAR.

No more of that; I have noted it well. Go you and tell my

daughter I would speak with her.

[_Exit Attendant._]

Go you, call hither my fool.

[_Exit another Attendant._]

Re-enter Oswald.

O, you, sir, you, come you hither, sir: who am I, sir?

OSWALD.

My lady’s father.

LEAR.

My lady’s father! my lord’s knave: you whoreson dog! you slave! you

cur!

OSWALD.

I am none of these, my lord; I beseech your pardon.

LEAR.

Do you bandy looks with me, you rascal?

[_Striking him._]

OSWALD.

I’ll not be struck, my lord.

KENT.

Nor tripp’d neither, you base football player.

[_Tripping up his heels._]

LEAR.

I thank thee, fellow. Thou serv’st me, and I’ll love thee.

KENT.

Come, sir, arise, away! I’ll teach you differences: away, away! If you

will measure your lubber’s length again, tarry; but away! go to; have

you wisdom? So.

[_Pushes Oswald out._]

LEAR.

Now, my friendly knave, I thank thee: there’s earnest of thy service.

[_Giving Kent money._]

Enter Fool.

FOOL.

Let me hire him too; here’s my coxcomb.

[_Giving Kent his cap._]

LEAR.

How now, my pretty knave, how dost thou?

FOOL.

Sirrah, you were best take my coxcomb.

KENT.

Why, fool?

FOOL.

Why, for taking one’s part that’s out of favour. Nay, an thou

canst not smile as the wind sits, thou’lt catch cold shortly:

there, take my coxcomb: why, this fellow has banish’d two on’s

daughters, and did the third a blessing against his will; if

thou follow him, thou must needs wear my coxcomb. How now,

nuncle! Would I had two coxcombs and two daughters!

LEAR.

Why, my boy?

FOOL.

If I gave them all my living, I’d keep my coxcombs myself. There’s

mine; beg another of thy daughters.

LEAR.

Take heed, sirrah, the whip.

FOOL.

Truth’s a dog must to kennel; he must be whipped out, when

the Lady Brach may stand by the fire and stink.

LEAR.

A pestilent gall to me!

FOOL.

Sirrah, I’ll teach thee a speech.

LEAR.

Do.

FOOL.

Mark it, nuncle:

Have more than thou showest,

Speak less than thou knowest,

Lend less than thou owest,

Ride more than thou goest,

Learn more than thou trowest,

Set less than thou throwest;

Leave thy drink and thy whore,

And keep in-a-door,

And thou shalt have more

Than two tens to a score.

KENT.

This is nothing, fool.

FOOL.

Then ’tis like the breath of an unfee’d lawyer, you gave me

nothing for’t. Can you make no use of nothing, nuncle?

LEAR.

Why, no, boy; nothing can be made out of nothing.

FOOL.

[_to Kent._] Prithee tell him, so much the rent of his land

comes to: he will not believe a fool.

LEAR.

A bitter fool.

FOOL.

Dost thou know the difference, my boy, between a bitter fool and

a sweet one?

LEAR.

No, lad; teach me.

FOOL.

That lord that counsell’d thee

To give away thy land,

Come place him here by me,

Do thou for him stand.

The sweet and bitter fool

Will presently appear;

The one in motley here,

The other found out there.

LEAR.

Dost thou call me fool, boy?

FOOL.

All thy other titles thou hast given away; that thou wast born

with.

KENT.

This is not altogether fool, my lord.

FOOL.

No, faith; lords and great men will not let me; if I had a

monopoly out, they would have part on’t and ladies too, they

will not let me have all the fool to myself; they’ll be

snatching. Nuncle, give me an egg, and I’ll give thee two

crowns.

LEAR.

What two crowns shall they be?

FOOL.

Why, after I have cut the egg i’ the middle and eat up the

meat, the two crowns of the egg. When thou clovest thy crown i’

the middle and gav’st away both parts, thou bor’st thine ass on

thy back o’er the dirt: thou hadst little wit in thy bald crown

when thou gav’st thy golden one away. If I speak like myself in

this, let him be whipped that first finds it so.

[_Singing._]

Fools had ne’er less grace in a year;

For wise men are grown foppish,

And know not how their wits to wear,

Their manners are so apish.

LEAR.

When were you wont to be so full of songs, sirrah?

FOOL.

I have used it, nuncle, e’er since thou mad’st thy daughters thy

mothers; for when thou gav’st them the rod, and put’st down thine

own breeches,

[_Singing._]

Then they for sudden joy did weep,

And I for sorrow sung,

That such a king should play bo-peep,

And go the fools among.

Prithee, nuncle, keep a schoolmaster that can teach thy fool to

lie; I would fain learn to lie.

LEAR.

An you lie, sirrah, we’ll have you whipped.

FOOL.

I marvel what kin thou and thy daughters are: they’ll have me

whipped for speaking true; thou’lt have me whipped for lying;

and sometimes I am whipped for holding my peace. I had rather be

any kind o’thing than a fool: and yet I would not be thee,

nuncle: thou hast pared thy wit o’both sides, and left nothing

i’ the middle: here comes one o’ the parings.

Enter Goneril.

LEAR.

How now, daughter? What makes that frontlet on? Methinks you

are too much of late i’ the frown.

FOOL.

Thou wast a pretty fellow when thou hadst no need to care for

her frowning. Now thou art an O without a figure: I am better

than thou art now. I am a fool, thou art nothing. [_To Goneril._]

Yes, forsooth, I will hold my tongue. So your face bids me, though

you say nothing. Mum, mum,

He that keeps nor crust nor crum,

Weary of all, shall want some.

[_Pointing to Lear_.] That’s a shealed peascod.

GONERIL.

Not only, sir, this your all-licens’d fool,

But other of your insolent retinue

Do hourly carp and quarrel; breaking forth

In rank and not-to-be-endured riots. Sir,

I had thought, by making this well known unto you,

To have found a safe redress; but now grow fearful,

By what yourself too late have spoke and done,

That you protect this course, and put it on

By your allowance; which if you should, the fault

Would not scape censure, nor the redresses sleep,

Which, in the tender of a wholesome weal,

Might in their working do you that offence

Which else were shame, that then necessity

Will call discreet proceeding.

FOOL.

For you know, nuncle,

The hedge-sparrow fed the cuckoo so long

That it’s had it head bit off by it young.

So out went the candle, and we were left darkling.

LEAR.

Are you our daughter?

GONERIL.

Come, sir,

I would you would make use of that good wisdom,

Whereof I know you are fraught; and put away

These dispositions, which of late transform you

From what you rightly are.

FOOL.

May not an ass know when the cart draws the horse? Whoop, Jug! I

love thee!

LEAR.

Doth any here know me? This is not Lear;

Doth Lear walk thus? speak thus? Where are his eyes?

Either his notion weakens, his discernings

Are lethargied. Ha! waking? ’Tis not so!

Who is it that can tell me who I am?

FOOL.

Lear’s shadow.

LEAR.

I would learn that; for by the marks of sovereignty, knowledge and

reason, I should be false persuaded I had daughters.

FOOL.

Which they will make an obedient father.

LEAR.

Your name, fair gentlewoman?

GONERIL.

This admiration, sir, is much o’ the favour

Of other your new pranks. I do beseech you

To understand my purposes aright:

As you are old and reverend, you should be wise.

Here do you keep a hundred knights and squires;

Men so disorder’d, so debosh’d and bold

That this our court, infected with their manners,

Shows like a riotous inn. Epicurism and lust

Makes it more like a tavern or a brothel

Than a grac’d palace. The shame itself doth speak

For instant remedy. Be, then, desir’d

By her that else will take the thing she begs

A little to disquantity your train;

And the remainder that shall still depend,

To be such men as may besort your age,

Which know themselves, and you.

LEAR.

Darkness and devils!

Saddle my horses; call my train together.

Degenerate bastard! I’ll not trouble thee:

Yet have I left a daughter.

GONERIL.

You strike my people; and your disorder’d rabble

Make servants of their betters.

Enter Albany.

LEAR.

Woe that too late repents!—

[_To Albany._] O, sir, are you come?

Is it your will? Speak, sir.—Prepare my horses.

Ingratitude, thou marble-hearted fiend,

More hideous when thou show’st thee in a child

Than the sea-monster!

ALBANY.

Pray, sir, be patient.

LEAR.

[_to Goneril._] Detested kite, thou liest.

My train are men of choice and rarest parts,

That all particulars of duty know;

And in the most exact regard support

The worships of their name. O most small fault,

How ugly didst thou in Cordelia show!

Which, like an engine, wrench’d my frame of nature

From the fix’d place; drew from my heart all love,

And added to the gall. O Lear, Lear, Lear!

[_Striking his head._] Beat at this gate that let thy folly in

And thy dear judgement out! Go, go, my people.

ALBANY.

My lord, I am guiltless, as I am ignorant

Of what hath moved you.

LEAR.

It may be so, my lord.

Hear, nature, hear; dear goddess, hear!

Suspend thy purpose, if thou didst intend

To make this creature fruitful!

Into her womb convey sterility!

Dry up in her the organs of increase;

And from her derogate body never spring

A babe to honour her! If she must teem,

Create her child of spleen, that it may live

And be a thwart disnatur’d torment to her!

Let it stamp wrinkles in her brow of youth;

With cadent tears fret channels in her cheeks;

Turn all her mother’s pains and benefits

To laughter and contempt; that she may feel

How sharper than a serpent’s tooth it is

To have a thankless child! Away, away!

[_Exit._]

ALBANY.

Now, gods that we adore, whereof comes this?

GONERIL.

Never afflict yourself to know more of it;

But let his disposition have that scope

That dotage gives it.

Re-enter Lear.

LEAR.

What, fifty of my followers at a clap?

Within a fortnight?

ALBANY.

What’s the matter, sir?

LEAR.

I’ll tell thee. [_To Goneril._] Life and death! I am

asham’d

That thou hast power to shake my manhood thus;

That these hot tears, which break from me perforce,

Should make thee worth them. Blasts and fogs upon thee!

Th’untented woundings of a father’s curse

Pierce every sense about thee! Old fond eyes,

Beweep this cause again, I’ll pluck ye out,

And cast you with the waters that you lose

To temper clay. Ha! Let it be so.

I have another daughter,

Who, I am sure, is kind and comfortable:

When she shall hear this of thee, with her nails

She’ll flay thy wolvish visage. Thou shalt find

That I’ll resume the shape which thou dost think

I have cast off for ever.

[_Exeunt Lear, Kent and Attendants._]

GONERIL.

Do you mark that?

ALBANY.

I cannot be so partial, Goneril,

To the great love I bear you,—

GONERIL.

Pray you, content. What, Oswald, ho!

[_To the Fool._] You, sir, more knave than fool, after your master.

FOOL.

Nuncle Lear, nuncle Lear, tarry and take the fool with thee.

A fox when one has caught her,

And such a daughter,

Should sure to the slaughter,

If my cap would buy a halter;

So the fool follows after.

[_Exit._]

GONERIL.

This man hath had good counsel.—A hundred knights!

’Tis politic and safe to let him keep

At point a hundred knights: yes, that on every dream,

Each buzz, each fancy, each complaint, dislike,

He may enguard his dotage with their powers,

And hold our lives in mercy. Oswald, I say!

ALBANY.

Well, you may fear too far.

GONERIL.

Safer than trust too far:

Let me still take away the harms I fear,

Not fear still to be taken: I know his heart.

What he hath utter’d I have writ my sister:

If she sustain him and his hundred knights,

When I have show’d th’unfitness,—

Re-enter Oswald.

How now, Oswald!

What, have you writ that letter to my sister?

OSWALD.

Ay, madam.

GONERIL.

Take you some company, and away to horse:

Inform her full of my particular fear;

And thereto add such reasons of your own

As may compact it more. Get you gone;

And hasten your return.

[_Exit Oswald._]

No, no, my lord!

This milky gentleness and course of yours,

Though I condemn not, yet, under pardon,

You are much more attask’d for want of wisdom

Than prais’d for harmful mildness.

ALBANY.

How far your eyes may pierce I cannot tell:

Striving to better, oft we mar what’s well.

GONERIL.

Nay then,—

ALBANY.

Well, well; the event.

[_Exeunt._]

SCENE V. Court before the Duke of Albany’s Palace

Enter Lear, Kent and Fool.

LEAR.

Go you before to Gloucester with these letters: acquaint my

daughter no further with anything you know than comes from her

demand out of the letter. If your diligence be not speedy, I

shall be there afore you.

KENT.

I will not sleep, my lord, till I have delivered your letter.

[_Exit._]

FOOL.

If a man’s brains were in’s heels, were’t not in danger of

kibes?

LEAR.

Ay, boy.

FOOL.

Then I prithee be merry; thy wit shall not go slipshod.

LEAR.

Ha, ha, ha!

FOOL.

Shalt see thy other daughter will use thee kindly, for though

she’s as like this as a crab’s like an apple, yet I can tell

what I can tell.

LEAR.

What canst tell, boy?

FOOL.

She’ll taste as like this as a crab does to a crab. Thou

canst tell why one’s nose stands i’the middle on’s face?

LEAR.

No.

FOOL.

Why, to keep one’s eyes of either side’s nose, that what a man

cannot smell out, he may spy into.

LEAR.

I did her wrong.

FOOL.

Canst tell how an oyster makes his shell?

LEAR.

No.

FOOL.

Nor I neither; but I can tell why a snail has a house.

LEAR.

Why?

FOOL.

Why, to put’s head in; not to give it away to his daughters, and

leave his horns without a case.

LEAR.

I will forget my nature. So kind a father! Be my horses ready?

FOOL.

Thy asses are gone about ’em. The reason why the seven stars are

no more than seven is a pretty reason.

LEAR.

Because they are not eight?

FOOL.

Yes indeed: thou wouldst make a good fool.

LEAR.

To tak’t again perforce!—Monster ingratitude!

FOOL.

If thou wert my fool, nuncle, I’d have thee beaten for being

old before thy time.

LEAR.

How’s that?

FOOL.

Thou shouldst not have been old till thou hadst been wise.

LEAR.

O, let me not be mad, not mad, sweet heaven!

Keep me in temper; I would not be mad!

Enter Gentleman.

How now? are the horses ready?

GENTLEMAN.

Ready, my lord.

LEAR.

Come, boy.

FOOL.

She that’s a maid now, and laughs at my departure,

Shall not be a maid long, unless things be cut shorter.

[_Exeunt._]

ACT II

SCENE I. A court within the Castle of the Earl of Gloucester

Enter Edmund and Curan, meeting.

EDMUND.

Save thee, Curan.

CURAN.

And you, sir. I have been with your father, and given him

notice that the Duke of Cornwall and Regan his Duchess will be

here with him this night.

EDMUND.

How comes that?

CURAN.

Nay, I know not. You have heard of the news abroad; I mean the

whispered ones, for they are yet but ear-kissing arguments?

EDMUND.

Not I: pray you, what are they?

CURAN.

Have you heard of no likely wars toward, ’twixt the two dukes

of Cornwall and Albany?

EDMUND.

Not a word.

CURAN.

You may do, then, in time. Fare you well, sir.

[_Exit._]

EDMUND.

The Duke be here tonight? The better! best!

This weaves itself perforce into my business.

My father hath set guard to take my brother;

And I have one thing, of a queasy question,

Which I must act. Briefness and fortune work!

Brother, a word, descend, brother, I say!

Enter Edgar.

My father watches: O sir, fly this place;

Intelligence is given where you are hid;

You have now the good advantage of the night.

Have you not spoken ’gainst the Duke of Cornwall?

He’s coming hither; now, i’ the night, i’ the haste,

And Regan with him: have you nothing said

Upon his party ’gainst the Duke of Albany?

Advise yourself.

EDGAR.

I am sure on’t, not a word.

EDMUND.

I hear my father coming:—pardon me;

In cunning I must draw my sword upon you:

Draw: seem to defend yourself: now quit you well.

Yield: come before my father. Light, ho, here!

Fly, brother. Torches, torches!—So farewell.

[_Exit Edgar._]

Some blood drawn on me would beget opinion

Of my more fierce endeavour: [_Wounds his arm._]

I have seen drunkards

Do more than this in sport. Father, father!

Stop, stop! No help?

Enter Gloucester and

Servants with torches.

GLOUCESTER.

Now, Edmund, where’s the villain?

EDMUND.

Here stood he in the dark, his sharp sword out,

Mumbling of wicked charms, conjuring the moon

To stand auspicious mistress.

GLOUCESTER.

But where is he?

EDMUND.

Look, sir, I bleed.

GLOUCESTER.

Where is the villain, Edmund?

EDMUND.

Fled this way, sir. When by no means he could,—

GLOUCESTER.

Pursue him, ho! Go after.

[_Exeunt Servants._]

—By no means what?

EDMUND.

Persuade me to the murder of your lordship;

But that I told him the revenging gods

’Gainst parricides did all their thunders bend;

Spoke with how manifold and strong a bond

The child was bound to the father; sir, in fine,

Seeing how loathly opposite I stood

To his unnatural purpose, in fell motion

With his prepared sword, he charges home

My unprovided body, latch’d mine arm;

But when he saw my best alarum’d spirits,

Bold in the quarrel’s right, rous’d to th’encounter,

Or whether gasted by the noise I made,

Full suddenly he fled.

GLOUCESTER.

Let him fly far;

Not in this land shall he remain uncaught;

And found—dispatch’d. The noble Duke my master,

My worthy arch and patron, comes tonight:

By his authority I will proclaim it,

That he which finds him shall deserve our thanks,

Bringing the murderous coward to the stake;

He that conceals him, death.

EDMUND.

When I dissuaded him from his intent,

And found him pight to do it, with curst speech

I threaten’d to discover him: he replied,

‘Thou unpossessing bastard! dost thou think,

If I would stand against thee, would the reposal

Of any trust, virtue, or worth in thee

Make thy words faith’d? No: what I should deny

As this I would; ay, though thou didst produce

My very character, I’d turn it all

To thy suggestion, plot, and damned practice:

And thou must make a dullard of the world,

If they not thought the profits of my death

Were very pregnant and potential spurs

To make thee seek it.

GLOUCESTER.

O strange and fast’ned villain!

Would he deny his letter, said he? I never got him.

[_Tucket within._]

Hark, the Duke’s trumpets! I know not why he comes.

All ports I’ll bar; the villain shall not scape;

The Duke must grant me that: besides, his picture

I will send far and near, that all the kingdom

May have due note of him; and of my land,

Loyal and natural boy, I’ll work the means

To make thee capable.

Enter Cornwall, Regan and

Attendants.

CORNWALL.

How now, my noble friend! since I came hither,

Which I can call but now, I have heard strange news.

REGAN.

If it be true, all vengeance comes too short

Which can pursue th’offender. How dost, my lord?

GLOUCESTER.

O madam, my old heart is crack’d, it’s crack’d!

REGAN.

What, did my father’s godson seek your life?

He whom my father nam’d? your Edgar?

GLOUCESTER.

O lady, lady, shame would have it hid!

REGAN.

Was he not companion with the riotous knights

That tend upon my father?

GLOUCESTER.

I know not, madam; ’tis too bad, too bad.

EDMUND.

Yes, madam, he was of that consort.

REGAN.

No marvel then though he were ill affected:

’Tis they have put him on the old man’s death,

To have the expense and waste of his revenues.

I have this present evening from my sister

Been well inform’d of them; and with such cautions

That if they come to sojourn at my house,

I’ll not be there.

CORNWALL.

Nor I, assure thee, Regan.

Edmund, I hear that you have shown your father

A childlike office.

EDMUND.

It was my duty, sir.

GLOUCESTER.

He did bewray his practice; and receiv’d

This hurt you see, striving to apprehend him.

CORNWALL.

Is he pursued?

GLOUCESTER.

Ay, my good lord.

CORNWALL.

If he be taken, he shall never more

Be fear’d of doing harm: make your own purpose,

How in my strength you please. For you, Edmund,

Whose virtue and obedience doth this instant

So much commend itself, you shall be ours:

Natures of such deep trust we shall much need;

You we first seize on.

EDMUND.

I shall serve you, sir, truly, however else.

GLOUCESTER.

For him I thank your grace.

CORNWALL.

You know not why we came to visit you?

REGAN.

Thus out of season, threading dark-ey’d night:

Occasions, noble Gloucester, of some poise,

Wherein we must have use of your advice.

Our father he hath writ, so hath our sister,

Of differences, which I best thought it fit

To answer from our home; the several messengers

From hence attend dispatch. Our good old friend,

Lay comforts to your bosom; and bestow

Your needful counsel to our business,

Which craves the instant use.

GLOUCESTER.

I serve you, madam:

Your graces are right welcome.

[_Exeunt. Flourish._]

SCENE II. Before Gloucester’s Castle

Enter Kent and Oswald,

severally.

OSWALD.

Good dawning to thee, friend: art of this house?

KENT.

Ay.

OSWALD.

Where may we set our horses?

KENT.

I’ the mire.

OSWALD.

Prithee, if thou lov’st me, tell me.

KENT.

I love thee not.

OSWALD.

Why then, I care not for thee.

KENT.

If I had thee in Lipsbury pinfold, I would make thee care for me.

OSWALD.

Why dost thou use me thus? I know thee not.

KENT.

Fellow, I know thee.

OSWALD.

What dost thou know me for?

KENT.

A knave; a rascal; an eater of broken meats; a base, proud,

shallow, beggarly, three-suited, hundred-pound, filthy,

worsted-stocking knave; a lily-livered, action-taking, whoreson,

glass-gazing, super-serviceable, finical rogue;

one trunk-inheriting slave; one that wouldst be a bawd in way of

good service, and art nothing but the composition of a

knave, beggar, coward, pander, and the son and heir of a mongrel

bitch: one whom I will beat into clamorous whining, if thou

deniest the least syllable of thy addition.

OSWALD.

Why, what a monstrous fellow art thou, thus to rail on one that’s

neither known of thee nor knows thee?

KENT.

What a brazen-faced varlet art thou, to deny thou knowest me! Is

it two days ago since I tripped up thy heels and beat thee before

the King? Draw, you rogue: for, though it be night, yet the moon

shines; I’ll make a sop o’ the moonshine of you: draw, you

whoreson cullionly barber-monger, draw!

[_Drawing his sword._]

OSWALD.

Away! I have nothing to do with thee.

KENT.

Draw, you rascal: you come with letters against the King; and

take vanity the puppet’s part against the royalty of her father:

draw, you rogue, or I’ll so carbonado your shanks:—draw, you rascal;

come your ways!

OSWALD.

Help, ho! murder! help!

KENT.

Strike, you slave; stand, rogue, stand; you neat slave, strike!

[_Beating him._]

OSWALD.

Help, ho! murder! murder!

Enter Edmund, Cornwall, Regan,

Gloucester and Servants.

EDMUND.

How now! What’s the matter? Part!

KENT.

With you, goodman boy, if you please: come, I’ll flesh ye; come

on, young master.

GLOUCESTER.

Weapons! arms! What’s the matter here?

CORNWALL.

Keep peace, upon your lives, he dies that strikes again. What is the

matter?

REGAN.

The messengers from our sister and the King.

CORNWALL.

What is your difference? Speak.

OSWALD.

I am scarce in breath, my lord.

KENT.

No marvel, you have so bestirr’d your valour. You cowardly

rascal, nature disclaims in thee; a tailor made thee.

CORNWALL.

Thou art a strange fellow: a tailor make a man?

KENT.

Ay, a tailor, sir: a stonecutter or a painter could not have

made him so ill, though he had been but two years at the trade.

CORNWALL.

Speak yet, how grew your quarrel?

OSWALD.

This ancient ruffian, sir, whose life I have spared at suit of his grey

beard,—

KENT.

Thou whoreson zed! thou unnecessary letter! My lord, if you’ll

give me leave, I will tread this unbolted villain into mortar and

daub the walls of a jakes with him. Spare my grey beard, you wagtail?

CORNWALL.

Peace, sirrah!

You beastly knave, know you no reverence?

KENT.

Yes, sir; but anger hath a privilege.

CORNWALL.

Why art thou angry?

KENT.

That such a slave as this should wear a sword,

Who wears no honesty. Such smiling rogues as these,

Like rats, oft bite the holy cords a-twain

Which are too intrince t’unloose; smooth every passion

That in the natures of their lords rebel;

Bring oil to fire, snow to their colder moods;

Renege, affirm, and turn their halcyon beaks

With every gale and vary of their masters,

Knowing naught, like dogs, but following.

A plague upon your epileptic visage!

Smile you my speeches, as I were a fool?

Goose, if I had you upon Sarum plain,

I’d drive ye cackling home to Camelot.

CORNWALL.

What, art thou mad, old fellow?

GLOUCESTER.

How fell you out? Say that.

KENT.

No contraries hold more antipathy

Than I and such a knave.

CORNWALL.

Why dost thou call him knave? What is his fault?

KENT.

His countenance likes me not.

CORNWALL.

No more perchance does mine, or his, or hers.

KENT.

Sir, ’tis my occupation to be plain:

I have seen better faces in my time

Than stands on any shoulder that I see

Before me at this instant.

CORNWALL.

This is some fellow

Who, having been prais’d for bluntness, doth affect

A saucy roughness, and constrains the garb

Quite from his nature: he cannot flatter, he,

An honest mind and plain, he must speak truth!

An they will take it, so; if not, he’s plain.

These kind of knaves I know which in this plainness

Harbour more craft and more corrupter ends

Than twenty silly-ducking observants

That stretch their duties nicely.

KENT.

Sir, in good faith, in sincere verity,

Under th’allowance of your great aspect,

Whose influence, like the wreath of radiant fire

On flickering Phoebus’ front,—

CORNWALL.

What mean’st by this?

KENT.

To go out of my dialect, which you discommend so much. I know,

sir, I am no flatterer: he that beguiled you in a plain accent

was a plain knave; which, for my part, I will not be, though I

should win your displeasure to entreat me to’t.

CORNWALL.

What was the offence you gave him?

OSWALD.

I never gave him any:

It pleas’d the King his master very late

To strike at me, upon his misconstruction;

When he, compact, and flattering his displeasure,

Tripp’d me behind; being down, insulted, rail’d

And put upon him such a deal of man,

That worthied him, got praises of the King

For him attempting who was self-subdu’d;

And, in the fleshment of this dread exploit,

Drew on me here again.

KENT.

None of these rogues and cowards

But Ajax is their fool.

CORNWALL.

Fetch forth the stocks!

You stubborn ancient knave, you reverent braggart,

We’ll teach you.

KENT.

Sir, I am too old to learn:

Call not your stocks for me: I serve the King;

On whose employment I was sent to you:

You shall do small respect, show too bold malice

Against the grace and person of my master,

Stocking his messenger.

CORNWALL.

Fetch forth the stocks!

As I have life and honour, there shall he sit till noon.

REGAN.

Till noon! Till night, my lord; and all night too!

KENT.

Why, madam, if I were your father’s dog,

You should not use me so.

REGAN.

Sir, being his knave, I will.

[_Stocks brought out._]

CORNWALL.

This is a fellow of the selfsame colour

Our sister speaks of. Come, bring away the stocks!

GLOUCESTER.

Let me beseech your grace not to do so:

His fault is much, and the good King his master

Will check him for’t: your purpos’d low correction

Is such as basest and contemned’st wretches

For pilferings and most common trespasses,

Are punish’d with. The King must take it ill

That he, so slightly valued in his messenger,

Should have him thus restrained.

CORNWALL.

I’ll answer that.

REGAN.

My sister may receive it much more worse,

To have her gentleman abus’d, assaulted,

For following her affairs. Put in his legs.

[_Kent is put in the

stocks._]

CORNWALL.

Come, my good lord, away.

[_Exeunt all but Gloucester and Kent._]

GLOUCESTER.

I am sorry for thee, friend; ’tis the Duke’s pleasure,

Whose disposition, all the world well knows,

Will not be rubb’d nor stopp’d; I’ll entreat for thee.

KENT.

Pray do not, sir: I have watch’d, and travell’d hard;

Some time I shall sleep out, the rest I’ll whistle.

A good man’s fortune may grow out at heels:

Give you good morrow!

GLOUCESTER.

The Duke’s to blame in this: ’twill be ill taken.

[_Exit._]

KENT.

Good King, that must approve the common saw,

Thou out of heaven’s benediction com’st

To the warm sun.

Approach, thou beacon to this under globe,

That by thy comfortable beams I may

Peruse this letter. Nothing almost sees miracles

But misery. I know ’tis from Cordelia,

Who hath most fortunately been inform’d

Of my obscured course. And shall find time

From this enormous state, seeking to give

Losses their remedies. All weary and o’erwatch’d,

Take vantage, heavy eyes, not to behold

This shameful lodging.

Fortune, good night: smile once more, turn thy wheel!

[_He sleeps._]

SCENE III. The open Country

Enter Edgar.

EDGAR.

I heard myself proclaim’d,

And by the happy hollow of a tree

Escap’d the hunt. No port is free, no place

That guard and most unusual vigilance

Does not attend my taking. While I may scape

I will preserve myself: and am bethought

To take the basest and most poorest shape

That ever penury in contempt of man,

Brought near to beast: my face I’ll grime with filth,

Blanket my loins; elf all my hair in knots,

And with presented nakedness outface

The winds and persecutions of the sky.

The country gives me proof and precedent

Of Bedlam beggars, who, with roaring voices,

Strike in their numb’d and mortified bare arms

Pins, wooden pricks, nails, sprigs of rosemary;

And with this horrible object, from low farms,

Poor pelting villages, sheep-cotes, and mills,

Sometime with lunatic bans, sometime with prayers,

Enforce their charity. Poor Turlygod! poor Tom,

That’s something yet: Edgar I nothing am.

[_Exit._]

SCENE IV. Before Gloucester’s Castle; Kent in the stocks

Enter Lear, Fool and Gentleman.

LEAR.

’Tis strange that they should so depart from home,

And not send back my messenger.

GENTLEMAN.

As I learn’d,

The night before there was no purpose in them

Of this remove.

KENT.

Hail to thee, noble master!

LEAR.

Ha! Mak’st thou this shame thy pastime?

KENT.

No, my lord.

FOOL.

Ha, ha! he wears cruel garters. Horses are tied by the

heads; dogs and bears by the neck, monkeys by the loins, and

men by the legs: when a man is overlusty at legs, then he

wears wooden nether-stocks.

LEAR.

What’s he that hath so much thy place mistook

To set thee here?

KENT.

It is both he and she,

Your son and daughter.

LEAR.

No.

KENT.

Yes.

LEAR.

No, I say.

KENT.

I say, yea.

LEAR.

No, no; they would not.

KENT.

Yes, they have.

LEAR.

By Jupiter, I swear no.

KENT.

By Juno, I swear ay.

LEAR.

They durst not do’t.

They could not, would not do’t; ’tis worse than murder,

To do upon respect such violent outrage:

Resolve me, with all modest haste, which way

Thou mightst deserve or they impose this usage,

Coming from us.

KENT.

My lord, when at their home

I did commend your highness’ letters to them,

Ere I was risen from the place that show’d

My duty kneeling, came there a reeking post,

Stew’d in his haste, half breathless, panting forth

From Goneril his mistress salutations;

Deliver’d letters, spite of intermission,

Which presently they read; on those contents,

They summon’d up their meiny, straight took horse;

Commanded me to follow and attend

The leisure of their answer; gave me cold looks:

And meeting here the other messenger,

Whose welcome I perceiv’d had poison’d mine,

Being the very fellow which of late

Display’d so saucily against your highness,

Having more man than wit about me, drew;

He rais’d the house with loud and coward cries.

Your son and daughter found this trespass worth

The shame which here it suffers.

FOOL.

Winter’s not gone yet, if the wild geese fly that way.

Fathers that wear rags

Do make their children blind,

But fathers that bear bags

Shall see their children kind.

Fortune, that arrant whore,

Ne’er turns the key to th’ poor.

But for all this, thou shalt have as many dolours for thy

daughters as thou canst tell in a year.

LEAR.

O, how this mother swells up toward my heart!

_Hysterica passio_, down, thou climbing sorrow,

Thy element’s below! Where is this daughter?

KENT.

With the earl, sir, here within.

LEAR.

Follow me not; stay here.

[_Exit._]

GENTLEMAN.

Made you no more offence but what you speak of?

KENT.

None.

How chance the King comes with so small a number?

FOOL.

An thou hadst been set i’ the stocks for that question,

thou hadst well deserved it.

KENT.

Why, fool?

FOOL.

We’ll set thee to school to an ant, to teach thee there’s no

labouring i’the winter. All that follow their noses are led by

their eyes but blind men; and there’s not a nose among twenty

but can smell him that’s stinking. Let go thy hold when a great

wheel runs down a hill, lest it break thy neck with following

it; but the great one that goes upward, let him draw thee after.

When a wise man gives thee better counsel, give me mine again: I

would have none but knaves follow it, since a fool gives it.

That sir which serves and seeks for gain,

And follows but for form,

Will pack when it begins to rain,

And leave thee in the storm.

But I will tarry; the fool will stay,

And let the wise man fly:

The knave turns fool that runs away;

The fool no knave perdy.

KENT.

Where learn’d you this, fool?

FOOL.

Not i’ the stocks, fool.

Enter Lear and Gloucester.

LEAR.

Deny to speak with me? They are sick? they are weary?

They have travell’d all the night? Mere fetches;

The images of revolt and flying off.

Fetch me a better answer.

GLOUCESTER.

My dear lord,

You know the fiery quality of the Duke;

How unremovable and fix’d he is

In his own course.

LEAR.

Vengeance! plague! death! confusion!

Fiery? What quality? Why, Gloucester, Gloucester,

I’d speak with the Duke of Cornwall and his wife.

GLOUCESTER.

Well, my good lord, I have inform’d them so.

LEAR.

Inform’d them! Dost thou understand me, man?

GLOUCESTER.

Ay, my good lord.

LEAR.

The King would speak with Cornwall; the dear father

Would with his daughter speak, commands, tends, service,

Are they inform’d of this? My breath and blood!

Fiery? The fiery Duke, tell the hot Duke that—

No, but not yet: maybe he is not well:

Infirmity doth still neglect all office

Whereto our health is bound: we are not ourselves

When nature, being oppress’d, commands the mind

To suffer with the body: I’ll forbear;

And am fallen out with my more headier will,

To take the indispos’d and sickly fit

For the sound man. [_Looking on Kent._]

Death on my state! Wherefore

Should he sit here? This act persuades me

That this remotion of the Duke and her

Is practice only. Give me my servant forth.

Go tell the Duke and’s wife I’d speak with them,

Now, presently: bid them come forth and hear me,

Or at their chamber door I’ll beat the drum

Till it cry sleep to death.

GLOUCESTER.

I would have all well betwixt you.

[_Exit._]

LEAR.

O me, my heart, my rising heart! But down!

FOOL.

Cry to it, nuncle, as the cockney did to the eels when she put ’em

i’ the paste alive; she knapped ’em o’ the coxcombs

with a stick and cried ‘Down, wantons, down!’ ’Twas

her brother that, in pure kindness to his horse buttered his hay.

Enter Cornwall, Regan,

Gloucester and Servants.

LEAR.

Good morrow to you both.

CORNWALL.

Hail to your grace!

[_Kent here set at liberty._]

REGAN.

I am glad to see your highness.

LEAR.

Regan, I think you are; I know what reason

I have to think so: if thou shouldst not be glad,

I would divorce me from thy mother’s tomb,

Sepulchring an adultress. [_To Kent_] O, are you free?

Some other time for that.—Beloved Regan,

Thy sister’s naught: O Regan, she hath tied

Sharp-tooth’d unkindness, like a vulture, here.

[_Points to his heart._]

I can scarce speak to thee; thou’lt not believe

With how deprav’d a quality—O Regan!

REGAN.

I pray you, sir, take patience. I have hope

You less know how to value her desert

Than she to scant her duty.

LEAR.

Say, how is that?

REGAN.

I cannot think my sister in the least

Would fail her obligation. If, sir, perchance

She have restrain’d the riots of your followers,

’Tis on such ground, and to such wholesome end,

As clears her from all blame.

LEAR.

My curses on her.

REGAN.

O, sir, you are old;

Nature in you stands on the very verge

Of her confine: you should be rul’d and led

By some discretion, that discerns your state

Better than you yourself. Therefore I pray you,

That to our sister you do make return;

Say you have wrong’d her, sir.

LEAR.

Ask her forgiveness?

Do you but mark how this becomes the house?

‘Dear daughter, I confess that I am old;

[_Kneeling._]

Age is unnecessary: on my knees I beg

That you’ll vouchsafe me raiment, bed, and food.’

REGAN.

Good sir, no more! These are unsightly tricks:

Return you to my sister.

LEAR.

[_Rising._] Never, Regan:

She hath abated me of half my train;

Look’d black upon me; struck me with her tongue,

Most serpent-like, upon the very heart.

All the stor’d vengeances of heaven fall

On her ingrateful top! Strike her young bones,

You taking airs, with lameness!

CORNWALL.

Fie, sir, fie!

LEAR.

You nimble lightnings, dart your blinding flames

Into her scornful eyes! Infect her beauty,

You fen-suck’d fogs, drawn by the powerful sun,

To fall and blast her pride!

REGAN.

O the blest gods!

So will you wish on me when the rash mood is on.

LEAR.

No, Regan, thou shalt never have my curse.

Thy tender-hefted nature shall not give

Thee o’er to harshness. Her eyes are fierce; but thine

Do comfort, and not burn. ’Tis not in thee

To grudge my pleasures, to cut off my train,

To bandy hasty words, to scant my sizes,

And, in conclusion, to oppose the bolt

Against my coming in. Thou better know’st

The offices of nature, bond of childhood,

Effects of courtesy, dues of gratitude;

Thy half o’ the kingdom hast thou not forgot,

Wherein I thee endow’d.

REGAN.

Good sir, to the purpose.

LEAR.

Who put my man i’ the stocks?

[_Tucket within._]

CORNWALL.

What trumpet’s that?

REGAN.

I know’t, my sister’s: this approves her letter,

That she would soon be here.

Enter Oswald.

Is your lady come?

LEAR.

This is a slave, whose easy borrowed pride

Dwells in the fickle grace of her he follows.

Out, varlet, from my sight!

CORNWALL.

What means your grace?

LEAR.

Who stock’d my servant? Regan, I have good hope

Thou didst not know on’t. Who comes here? O heavens!

Enter Goneril.

If you do love old men, if your sweet sway

Allow obedience, if yourselves are old,

Make it your cause; send down, and take my part!

[_To Goneril._] Art not asham’d to look upon this beard?

O Regan, wilt thou take her by the hand?

GONERIL.

Why not by the hand, sir? How have I offended?

All’s not offence that indiscretion finds

And dotage terms so.

LEAR.

O sides, you are too tough!

Will you yet hold? How came my man i’ the stocks?

CORNWALL.

I set him there, sir: but his own disorders

Deserv’d much less advancement.

LEAR.

You? Did you?

REGAN.

I pray you, father, being weak, seem so.

If, till the expiration of your month,

You will return and sojourn with my sister,

Dismissing half your train, come then to me:

I am now from home, and out of that provision

Which shall be needful for your entertainment.

LEAR.

Return to her, and fifty men dismiss’d?

No, rather I abjure all roofs, and choose

To wage against the enmity o’ the air;

To be a comrade with the wolf and owl,

Necessity’s sharp pinch! Return with her?

Why, the hot-blooded France, that dowerless took

Our youngest born, I could as well be brought

To knee his throne, and, squire-like, pension beg

To keep base life afoot. Return with her?

Persuade me rather to be slave and sumpter

To this detested groom.

[_Pointing to Oswald._]

GONERIL.

At your choice, sir.

LEAR.

I prithee, daughter, do not make me mad:

I will not trouble thee, my child; farewell:

We’ll no more meet, no more see one another.

But yet thou art my flesh, my blood, my daughter;

Or rather a disease that’s in my flesh,

Which I must needs call mine. Thou art a boil,

A plague sore, or embossed carbuncle

In my corrupted blood. But I’ll not chide thee;

Let shame come when it will, I do not call it:

I do not bid the thunder-bearer shoot,

Nor tell tales of thee to high-judging Jove:

Mend when thou canst; be better at thy leisure:

I can be patient; I can stay with Regan,

I and my hundred knights.

REGAN.

Not altogether so,

I look’d not for you yet, nor am provided

For your fit welcome. Give ear, sir, to my sister;

For those that mingle reason with your passion

Must be content to think you old, and so—

But she knows what she does.

LEAR.

Is this well spoken?

REGAN.

I dare avouch it, sir: what, fifty followers?

Is it not well? What should you need of more?

Yea, or so many, sith that both charge and danger

Speak ’gainst so great a number? How in one house

Should many people, under two commands,

Hold amity? ’Tis hard; almost impossible.

GONERIL.

Why might not you, my lord, receive attendance

From those that she calls servants, or from mine?

REGAN.

Why not, my lord? If then they chanc’d to slack ye,

We could control them. If you will come to me,—

For now I spy a danger,—I entreat you

To bring but five-and-twenty: to no more

Will I give place or notice.

LEAR.

I gave you all,—

REGAN.

And in good time you gave it.

LEAR.

Made you my guardians, my depositaries;

But kept a reservation to be followed

With such a number. What, must I come to you

With five-and-twenty, Regan, said you so?

REGAN.

And speak’t again my lord; no more with me.

LEAR.

Those wicked creatures yet do look well-favour’d

When others are more wicked; not being the worst

Stands in some rank of praise.

[_To Goneril._] I’ll go with thee:

Thy fifty yet doth double five-and-twenty,

And thou art twice her love.

GONERIL.

Hear me, my lord:

What need you five-and-twenty? Ten? Or five?

To follow in a house where twice so many

Have a command to tend you?

REGAN.

What need one?

LEAR.

O, reason not the need: our basest beggars

Are in the poorest thing superfluous:

Allow not nature more than nature needs,

Man’s life is cheap as beast’s. Thou art a lady;

If only to go warm were gorgeous,

Why, nature needs not what thou gorgeous wear’st

Which scarcely keeps thee warm. But, for true need,—

You heavens, give me that patience, patience I need!

You see me here, you gods, a poor old man,

As full of grief as age; wretched in both!

If it be you that stirs these daughters’ hearts

Against their father, fool me not so much

To bear it tamely; touch me with noble anger,

And let not women’s weapons, water-drops,

Stain my man’s cheeks! No, you unnatural hags,

I will have such revenges on you both

That all the world shall,—I will do such things,—

What they are yet, I know not; but they shall be

The terrors of the earth. You think I’ll weep;

No, I’ll not weep:— [_Storm and tempest._]

I have full cause of weeping; but this heart

Shall break into a hundred thousand flaws

Or ere I’ll weep.—O fool, I shall go mad!

[_Exeunt Lear, Gloucester, Kent and Fool._]

CORNWALL.

Let us withdraw; ’twill be a storm.

REGAN.

This house is little: the old man and his people

Cannot be well bestow’d.

GONERIL.

’Tis his own blame; hath put himself from rest

And must needs taste his folly.

REGAN.

For his particular, I’ll receive him gladly,

But not one follower.

GONERIL.

So am I purpos’d.

Where is my lord of Gloucester?

Enter Gloucester.

CORNWALL.

Followed the old man forth, he is return’d.

GLOUCESTER.

The King is in high rage.

CORNWALL.

Whither is he going?

GLOUCESTER.

He calls to horse; but will I know not whither.

CORNWALL.

’Tis best to give him way; he leads himself.

GONERIL.

My lord, entreat him by no means to stay.

GLOUCESTER.

Alack, the night comes on, and the high winds

Do sorely ruffle; for many miles about

There’s scarce a bush.

REGAN.

O, sir, to wilful men

The injuries that they themselves procure

Must be their schoolmasters. Shut up your doors.

He is attended with a desperate train,

And what they may incense him to, being apt

To have his ear abus’d, wisdom bids fear.

CORNWALL.

Shut up your doors, my lord; ’tis a wild night.

My Regan counsels well: come out o’ the storm.

[_Exeunt._]

ACT III

SCENE I. A Heath

A storm with thunder and lightning. Enter Kent and a Gentleman,

severally.

KENT.

Who’s there, besides foul weather?

GENTLEMAN.

One minded like the weather, most unquietly.

KENT.

I know you. Where’s the King?

GENTLEMAN.

Contending with the fretful elements;

Bids the wind blow the earth into the sea,

Or swell the curled waters ’bove the main,

That things might change or cease; tears his white hair,

Which the impetuous blasts with eyeless rage,

Catch in their fury and make nothing of;

Strives in his little world of man to outscorn

The to-and-fro-conflicting wind and rain.

This night, wherein the cub-drawn bear would couch,

The lion and the belly-pinched wolf

Keep their fur dry, unbonneted he runs,

And bids what will take all.

KENT.

But who is with him?

GENTLEMAN.

None but the fool, who labours to out-jest

His heart-struck injuries.

KENT.

Sir, I do know you;

And dare, upon the warrant of my note

Commend a dear thing to you. There is division,

Although as yet the face of it be cover’d

With mutual cunning, ’twixt Albany and Cornwall;

Who have, as who have not, that their great stars

Throne’d and set high; servants, who seem no less,

Which are to France the spies and speculations

Intelligent of our state. What hath been seen,

Either in snuffs and packings of the Dukes;

Or the hard rein which both of them have borne

Against the old kind King; or something deeper,

Whereof, perchance, these are but furnishings;—

But, true it is, from France there comes a power

Into this scatter’d kingdom; who already,

Wise in our negligence, have secret feet

In some of our best ports, and are at point

To show their open banner.—Now to you:

If on my credit you dare build so far

To make your speed to Dover, you shall find

Some that will thank you making just report

Of how unnatural and bemadding sorrow

The King hath cause to plain.

I am a gentleman of blood and breeding;

And from some knowledge and assurance

Offer this office to you.

GENTLEMAN.

I will talk further with you.

KENT.

No, do not.

For confirmation that I am much more

Than my out-wall, open this purse, and take

What it contains. If you shall see Cordelia,

As fear not but you shall, show her this ring;

And she will tell you who your fellow is

That yet you do not know. Fie on this storm!

I will go seek the King.

GENTLEMAN.

Give me your hand: have you no more to say?

KENT.

Few words, but, to effect, more than all yet:

That, when we have found the King, in which your pain

That way, I’ll this; he that first lights on him

Holla the other.

[_Exeunt._]

SCENE II. Another part of the heath

Storm continues. Enter Lear

and Fool.

LEAR.

Blow, winds, and crack your cheeks! Rage! blow!

You cataracts and hurricanoes, spout

Till you have drench’d our steeples, drown’d the cocks!

You sulphurous and thought-executing fires,

Vaunt-couriers to oak-cleaving thunderbolts,

Singe my white head! And thou, all-shaking thunder,

Strike flat the thick rotundity o’ the world!

Crack nature’s moulds, all germens spill at once,

That make ingrateful man!

FOOL.

O nuncle, court holy-water in a dry house is better than this

rain-water out o’ door. Good nuncle, in; and ask thy daughters

blessing: here’s a night pities neither wise men nor fools.

LEAR.

Rumble thy bellyful! Spit, fire! spout, rain!

Nor rain, wind, thunder, fire are my daughters;

I tax not you, you elements, with unkindness.

I never gave you kingdom, call’d you children;

You owe me no subscription: then let fall

Your horrible pleasure. Here I stand your slave,

A poor, infirm, weak, and despis’d old man:

But yet I call you servile ministers,

That will with two pernicious daughters join

Your high-engender’d battles ’gainst a head

So old and white as this! O! O! ’tis foul!

FOOL.

He that has a house to put’s head in has a good head-piece.

The codpiece that will house

Before the head has any,

The head and he shall louse:

So beggars marry many.

The man that makes his toe

What he his heart should make

Shall of a corn cry woe,

And turn his sleep to wake.

For there was never yet fair woman but she made mouths in a glass.

LEAR.

No, I will be the pattern of all patience;

I will say nothing.

Enter Kent.

KENT.

Who’s there?

FOOL.

Marry, here’s grace and a codpiece; that’s a wise man and a

fool.

KENT.

Alas, sir, are you here? Things that love night

Love not such nights as these; the wrathful skies

Gallow the very wanderers of the dark,

And make them keep their caves. Since I was man,

Such sheets of fire, such bursts of horrid thunder,

Such groans of roaring wind and rain I never

Remember to have heard. Man’s nature cannot carry

Th’affliction, nor the fear.

LEAR.

Let the great gods,

That keep this dreadful pudder o’er our heads,

Find out their enemies now. Tremble, thou wretch,

That hast within thee undivulged crimes

Unwhipp’d of justice. Hide thee, thou bloody hand;

Thou perjur’d, and thou simular of virtue

That art incestuous. Caitiff, to pieces shake

That under covert and convenient seeming

Hast practis’d on man’s life: close pent-up guilts,

Rive your concealing continents, and cry

These dreadful summoners grace. I am a man

More sinn’d against than sinning.

KENT.

Alack, bareheaded!

Gracious my lord, hard by here is a hovel;

Some friendship will it lend you ’gainst the tempest:

Repose you there, whilst I to this hard house,—

More harder than the stones whereof ’tis rais’d;

Which even but now, demanding after you,

Denied me to come in,—return, and force

Their scanted courtesy.

LEAR.

My wits begin to turn.

Come on, my boy. How dost, my boy? Art cold?

I am cold myself. Where is this straw, my fellow?

The art of our necessities is strange,

That can make vile things precious. Come, your hovel.

Poor fool and knave, I have one part in my heart

That’s sorry yet for thee.

FOOL.

[_Singing._]

He that has and a little tiny wit,

With heigh-ho, the wind and the rain,

Must make content with his fortunes fit,

Though the rain it raineth every day.

LEAR.

True, boy. Come, bring us to this hovel.

[_Exeunt Lear and Kent._]

FOOL.

This is a brave night to cool a courtezan. I’ll speak a prophecy

ere I go:

When priests are more in word than matter;

When brewers mar their malt with water;

When nobles are their tailors’ tutors;

No heretics burn’d, but wenches’ suitors;

When every case in law is right;

No squire in debt, nor no poor knight;

When slanders do not live in tongues;

Nor cut-purses come not to throngs;

When usurers tell their gold i’ the field;

And bawds and whores do churches build,

Then shall the realm of Albion

Come to great confusion:

Then comes the time, who lives to see’t,

That going shall be us’d with feet.

This prophecy Merlin shall make; for I live before his time.

[_Exit._]

SCENE III. A Room in Gloucester’s Castle

Enter Gloucester and Edmund.

GLOUCESTER.

Alack, alack, Edmund, I like not this unnatural dealing. When I

desired their leave that I might pity him, they took from me the

use of mine own house; charged me on pain of perpetual displeasure,

neither to speak of him, entreat for him, or any way sustain him.

EDMUND.

Most savage and unnatural!

GLOUCESTER.

Go to; say you nothing. There is division between the Dukes,

and a worse matter than that: I have received a letter this

night;—’tis dangerous to be spoken;—I have locked the letter

in my closet: these injuries the King now bears will be revenged

home; there’s part of a power already footed: we must incline to

the King. I will look him, and privily relieve him: go you and

maintain talk with the Duke, that my charity be not of him

perceived: if he ask for me, I am ill, and gone to bed. If I

die for it, as no less is threatened me, the King my old master

must be relieved. There is some strange thing toward, Edmund;

pray you be careful.

[_Exit._]

EDMUND.

This courtesy, forbid thee, shall the Duke

Instantly know; and of that letter too.

This seems a fair deserving, and must draw me

That which my father loses, no less than all:

The younger rises when the old doth fall.

[_Exit._]

SCENE IV. A part of the Heath with a Hovel

Storm continues. Enter Lear,

Kent and Fool.

KENT.

Here is the place, my lord; good my lord, enter:

The tyranny of the open night’s too rough

For nature to endure.

LEAR.

Let me alone.

KENT.

Good my lord, enter here.

LEAR.

Wilt break my heart?

KENT.

I had rather break mine own. Good my lord, enter.

LEAR.

Thou think’st ’tis much that this contentious storm

Invades us to the skin: so ’tis to thee,

But where the greater malady is fix’d,

The lesser is scarce felt. Thou’dst shun a bear;

But if thy flight lay toward the raging sea,

Thou’dst meet the bear i’ the mouth. When the mind’s

free,

The body’s delicate: the tempest in my mind

Doth from my senses take all feeling else

Save what beats there. Filial ingratitude!

Is it not as this mouth should tear this hand

For lifting food to’t? But I will punish home;

No, I will weep no more. In such a night

To shut me out! Pour on; I will endure:

In such a night as this! O Regan, Goneril!

Your old kind father, whose frank heart gave all,

O, that way madness lies; let me shun that;

No more of that.

KENT.

Good my lord, enter here.

LEAR.

Prithee go in thyself; seek thine own ease:

This tempest will not give me leave to ponder

On things would hurt me more. But I’ll go in.

[_To the Fool._] In, boy; go first. You houseless poverty,

Nay, get thee in. I’ll pray, and then I’ll sleep.

[_Fool goes in._]

Poor naked wretches, wheresoe’er you are,

That bide the pelting of this pitiless storm,

How shall your houseless heads and unfed sides,

Your loop’d and window’d raggedness, defend you

From seasons such as these? O, I have ta’en

Too little care of this! Take physic, pomp;

Expose thyself to feel what wretches feel,

That thou mayst shake the superflux to them

And show the heavens more just.

EDGAR.

[_Within._] Fathom and half, fathom and half! Poor Tom!

[_The Fool runs out from the hovel._]

FOOL.

Come not in here, nuncle, here’s a spirit.

Help me, help me!

KENT.

Give me thy hand. Who’s there?

FOOL.

A spirit, a spirit: he says his name’s poor Tom.

KENT.

What art thou that dost grumble there i’ the straw?

Come forth.

Enter Edgar, disguised as a

madman.

EDGAR.

Away! the foul fiend follows me! Through the sharp hawthorn blows the

cold wind. Humh! go to thy cold bed, and warm thee.

LEAR.

Didst thou give all to thy two daughters?

And art thou come to this?

EDGAR.

Who gives anything to poor Tom? Whom the foul fiend hath led

through fire and through flame, through ford and whirlpool, o’er

bog and quagmire; that hath laid knives under his pillow and

halters in his pew, set ratsbane by his porridge; made him proud

of heart, to ride on a bay trotting horse over four-inched

bridges, to course his own shadow for a traitor. Bless thy five

wits! Tom’s a-cold. O, do, de, do, de, do, de. Bless thee from

whirlwinds, star-blasting, and taking! Do poor Tom some charity,

whom the foul fiend vexes. There could I have him now, and

there,—and there again, and there.

[_Storm continues._]

LEAR.

What, have his daughters brought him to this pass?

Couldst thou save nothing? Didst thou give ’em all?

FOOL.

Nay, he reserv’d a blanket, else we had been all shamed.

LEAR.

Now all the plagues that in the pendulous air

Hang fated o’er men’s faults light on thy daughters!

KENT.

He hath no daughters, sir.

LEAR.

Death, traitor! nothing could have subdu’d nature

To such a lowness but his unkind daughters.

Is it the fashion that discarded fathers

Should have thus little mercy on their flesh?

Judicious punishment! ’twas this flesh begot

Those pelican daughters.

EDGAR.

Pillicock sat on Pillicock hill,

Alow, alow, loo loo!

FOOL.

This cold night will turn us all to fools and madmen.

EDGAR.

Take heed o’ th’ foul fiend: obey thy parents; keep thy word

justly; swear not; commit not with man’s sworn spouse; set not

thy sweet-heart on proud array. Tom’s a-cold.

LEAR.

What hast thou been?

EDGAR.

A serving-man, proud in heart and mind; that curled my hair;

wore gloves in my cap; served the lust of my mistress’ heart, and

did the act of darkness with her; swore as many oaths as I spake

words, and broke them in the sweet face of heaven. One that

slept in the contriving of lust, and waked to do it. Wine loved

I deeply, dice dearly; and in woman out-paramour’d the Turk.

False of heart, light of ear, bloody of hand; hog in sloth, fox

in stealth, wolf in greediness, dog in madness, lion in prey.

Let not the creaking of shoes nor the rustling of silks betray

thy poor heart to woman. Keep thy foot out of brothels, thy hand

out of plackets, thy pen from lender’s book, and defy the foul

fiend. Still through the hawthorn blows the cold wind: says

suum, mun, nonny. Dolphin my boy, boy, sessa! let him trot by.

[_Storm still continues._]

LEAR.

Why, thou wert better in thy grave than to answer with thy uncovered

body this extremity of the skies. Is man no more than this? Consider

him well. Thou owest the worm no silk, the beast no hide, the sheep no

wool, the cat no perfume. Ha! here’s three on’s are

sophisticated! Thou art the thing itself: unaccommodated man is no more

but such a poor, bare, forked animal as thou art. Off, off, you

lendings! Come, unbutton here.

[_Tears off his clothes._]

FOOL.

Prithee, nuncle, be contented; ’tis a naughty night to swim

in. Now a little fire in a wild field were like an old lecher’s

heart, a small spark, all the rest on’s body cold. Look, here

comes a walking fire.

EDGAR.

This is the foul fiend Flibbertigibbet: he begins at curfew, and walks

till the first cock; he gives the web and the pin, squints the eye, and

makes the harelip; mildews the white wheat, and hurts the poor creature

of earth.

Swithold footed thrice the old;

He met the nightmare, and her nine-fold;

Bid her alight and her troth plight,

And aroint thee, witch, aroint thee!

KENT.

How fares your grace?

Enter Gloucester with a

torch.

LEAR.

What’s he?

KENT.

Who’s there? What is’t you seek?

GLOUCESTER.

What are you there? Your names?

EDGAR.

Poor Tom; that eats the swimming frog, the toad, the todpole, the

wall-newt and the water; that in the fury of his heart, when the

foul fiend rages, eats cow-dung for sallets; swallows the old rat

and the ditch-dog; drinks the green mantle of the standing pool;

who is whipped from tithing to tithing, and stocked, punished,

and imprisoned; who hath had three suits to his back, six shirts

to his body,

Horse to ride, and weapon to wear.

But mice and rats and such small deer,

Have been Tom’s food for seven long year.

Beware my follower. Peace, Smulkin; peace, thou fiend!

GLOUCESTER.

What, hath your grace no better company?

EDGAR.

The prince of darkness is a gentleman:

Modo he’s call’d, and Mahu.

GLOUCESTER.

Our flesh and blood, my lord, is grown so vile

That it doth hate what gets it.

EDGAR.

Poor Tom’s a-cold.

GLOUCESTER.

Go in with me: my duty cannot suffer

T’obey in all your daughters’ hard commands;

Though their injunction be to bar my doors,

And let this tyrannous night take hold upon you,

Yet have I ventur’d to come seek you out,

And bring you where both fire and food is ready.

LEAR.

First let me talk with this philosopher.

What is the cause of thunder?

KENT.

Good my lord, take his offer; go into the house.

LEAR.

I’ll talk a word with this same learned Theban.

What is your study?

EDGAR.

How to prevent the fiend and to kill vermin.

LEAR.

Let me ask you one word in private.

KENT.

Importune him once more to go, my lord;

His wits begin t’unsettle.

GLOUCESTER.

Canst thou blame him?

His daughters seek his death. Ah, that good Kent!

He said it would be thus, poor banish’d man!

Thou sayest the King grows mad; I’ll tell thee, friend,

I am almost mad myself. I had a son,

Now outlaw’d from my blood; he sought my life

But lately, very late: I lov’d him, friend,

No father his son dearer: true to tell thee,

[_Storm continues._]

The grief hath craz’d my wits. What a night’s this!

I do beseech your grace.

LEAR.

O, cry you mercy, sir.

Noble philosopher, your company.

EDGAR.

Tom’s a-cold.

GLOUCESTER.

In, fellow, there, into the hovel; keep thee warm.

LEAR.

Come, let’s in all.

KENT.

This way, my lord.

LEAR.

With him;

I will keep still with my philosopher.

KENT.

Good my lord, soothe him; let him take the fellow.

GLOUCESTER.

Take him you on.

KENT.

Sirrah, come on; go along with us.

LEAR.

Come, good Athenian.

GLOUCESTER.

No words, no words, hush.

EDGAR.

Child Rowland to the dark tower came,

His word was still—Fie, foh, and fum,

I smell the blood of a British man.

[_Exeunt._]

SCENE V. A Room in Gloucester’s Castle

Enter Cornwall and Edmund.

CORNWALL.

I will have my revenge ere I depart his house.

EDMUND.

How, my lord, I may be censured, that nature thus gives way to

loyalty, something fears me to think of.

CORNWALL.

I now perceive it was not altogether your brother’s evil

disposition made him seek his death; but a provoking merit, set

a-work by a reproveable badness in himself.

EDMUND.

How malicious is my fortune, that I must repent to be just! This

is the letter he spoke of, which approves him an intelligent

party to the advantages of France. O heavens! that this treason

were not; or not I the detector!

CORNWALL.

Go with me to the Duchess.

EDMUND.

If the matter of this paper be certain, you have mighty business

in hand.

CORNWALL.

True or false, it hath made thee Earl of Gloucester. Seek out

where thy father is, that he may be ready for our apprehension.

EDMUND.

[_Aside._] If I find him comforting the King, it will stuff his

suspicion more fully. I will persever in my course of loyalty,

though the conflict be sore between that and my blood.

CORNWALL.

I will lay trust upon thee; and thou shalt find a dearer father

in my love.

[_Exeunt._]

SCENE VI. A Chamber in a Farmhouse adjoining the Castle

Enter Gloucester, Lear, Kent,

Fool and Edgar.

GLOUCESTER.

Here is better than the open air; take it thankfully. I will

piece out the comfort with what addition I can: I will not be

long from you.

KENT.

All the power of his wits have given way to his impatience:—

the gods reward your kindness!

[_Exit Gloucester._]

EDGAR.

Frateretto calls me; and tells me Nero is an angler in the lake

of darkness. Pray, innocent, and beware the foul fiend.

FOOL.

Prithee, nuncle, tell me whether a madman be a gentleman or a

yeoman.

LEAR.

A king, a king!

FOOL.

No, he’s a yeoman that has a gentleman to his son; for he’s a mad

yeoman that sees his son a gentleman before him.

LEAR.

To have a thousand with red burning spits

Come hissing in upon ’em.

EDGAR.

The foul fiend bites my back.

FOOL.

He’s mad that trusts in the tameness of a wolf, a horse’s health,

a boy’s love, or a whore’s oath.

LEAR.

It shall be done; I will arraign them straight.

[_To Edgar._] Come, sit thou here, most learned justicer;

[_To the Fool._] Thou, sapient sir, sit here. Now, you she-foxes!—

EDGAR.

Look, where he stands and glares! Want’st thou eyes at trial, madam?

Come o’er the bourn, Bessy, to me.

FOOL.

Her boat hath a leak,

And she must not speak

Why she dares not come over to thee.

EDGAR.

The foul fiend haunts poor Tom in the voice of a nightingale.

Hoppedance cries in Tom’s belly for two white herring. Croak not, black

angel; I have no food for thee.

KENT.

How do you, sir? Stand you not so amaz’d;

Will you lie down and rest upon the cushions?

LEAR.

I’ll see their trial first. Bring in their evidence.

[_To Edgar._] Thou, robed man of justice, take thy place.

[_To the Fool._] And thou, his yokefellow of equity,

Bench by his side. [_To Kent._] You are o’ the commission,

Sit you too.

EDGAR.

Let us deal justly.

Sleepest or wakest thou, jolly shepherd?

Thy sheep be in the corn;

And for one blast of thy minikin mouth

Thy sheep shall take no harm.

Purr! the cat is grey.

LEAR.

Arraign her first; ’tis Goneril. I here take my oath before

this honourable assembly, she kicked the poor King her father.

FOOL.

Come hither, mistress. Is your name Goneril?

LEAR.

She cannot deny it.

FOOL.

Cry you mercy, I took you for a joint-stool.

LEAR.

And here’s another, whose warp’d looks proclaim

What store her heart is made on. Stop her there!

Arms, arms! sword! fire! Corruption in the place!

False justicer, why hast thou let her ’scape?

EDGAR.

Bless thy five wits!

KENT.

O pity! Sir, where is the patience now

That you so oft have boasted to retain?

EDGAR.

[_Aside._] My tears begin to take his part so much

They mar my counterfeiting.

LEAR.

The little dogs and all,

Trey, Blanch, and Sweetheart, see, they bark at me.

EDGAR.

Tom will throw his head at them. Avaunt, you curs!

Be thy mouth or black or white,

Tooth that poisons if it bite;

Mastiff, greyhound, mongrel grim,

Hound or spaniel, brach or him,

Or bobtail tike or trundle-tail,

Tom will make them weep and wail;

For, with throwing thus my head,

Dogs leap the hatch, and all are fled.

Do, de, de, de. Sessa! Come, march to wakes and fairs and market towns.

Poor Tom, thy horn is dry.

LEAR.

Then let them anatomize Regan; see what breeds about her

heart. Is there any cause in nature that makes these hard

hearts? [_To Edgar._] You, sir, I entertain you for one of my

hundred; only I do not like the fashion of your garments. You’ll

say they are Persian; but let them be changed.

KENT.

Now, good my lord, lie here and rest awhile.

LEAR.

Make no noise, make no noise; draw the curtains.

So, so. We’ll go to supper i’ the morning.

FOOL.

And I’ll go to bed at noon.

Enter Gloucester.

GLOUCESTER.

Come hither, friend;

Where is the King my master?

KENT.

Here, sir; but trouble him not, his wits are gone.

GLOUCESTER.

Good friend, I prithee, take him in thy arms;

I have o’erheard a plot of death upon him;

There is a litter ready; lay him in’t

And drive towards Dover, friend, where thou shalt meet

Both welcome and protection. Take up thy master;

If thou shouldst dally half an hour, his life,

With thine, and all that offer to defend him,

Stand in assured loss. Take up, take up;

And follow me, that will to some provision

Give thee quick conduct.

KENT.

Oppressed nature sleeps.

This rest might yet have balm’d thy broken sinews,

Which, if convenience will not allow,

Stand in hard cure. Come, help to bear thy master;

[_To the Fool._] Thou must not stay behind.

GLOUCESTER.

Come, come, away!

[_Exeunt Kent, Gloucester and the Fool bearing off Lear._]

EDGAR.

When we our betters see bearing our woes,

We scarcely think our miseries our foes.

Who alone suffers, suffers most i’ the mind,

Leaving free things and happy shows behind:

But then the mind much sufferance doth o’erskip

When grief hath mates, and bearing fellowship.

How light and portable my pain seems now,

When that which makes me bend makes the King bow;

He childed as I fathered! Tom, away!

Mark the high noises; and thyself bewray,

When false opinion, whose wrong thoughts defile thee,

In thy just proof repeals and reconciles thee.

What will hap more tonight, safe ’scape the King!

Lurk, lurk.

[_Exit._]

SCENE VII. A Room in Gloucester’s Castle

Enter Cornwall, Regan, Goneril,

Edmund and Servants.

CORNWALL.

Post speedily to my lord your husband, show him this letter: the army

of France is landed. Seek out the traitor Gloucester.

[_Exeunt some of the Servants._]

REGAN.

Hang him instantly.

GONERIL.

Pluck out his eyes.

CORNWALL.

Leave him to my displeasure. Edmund, keep you our sister

company: the revenges we are bound to take upon your traitorous

father are not fit for your beholding. Advise the Duke where you

are going, to a most festinate preparation: we are bound to the

like. Our posts shall be swift and intelligent betwixt us.

Farewell, dear sister, farewell, my lord of Gloucester.

Enter Oswald.

How now! Where’s the King?

OSWALD.

My lord of Gloucester hath convey’d him hence:

Some five or six and thirty of his knights,

Hot questrists after him, met him at gate;

Who, with some other of the lord’s dependants,

Are gone with him toward Dover: where they boast

To have well-armed friends.

CORNWALL.

Get horses for your mistress.

GONERIL.

Farewell, sweet lord, and sister.

CORNWALL.

Edmund, farewell.

[_Exeunt Goneril, Edmund and Oswald._]

Go seek the traitor Gloucester,

Pinion him like a thief, bring him before us.

[_Exeunt other Servants._]

Though well we may not pass upon his life

Without the form of justice, yet our power

Shall do a courtesy to our wrath, which men

May blame, but not control. Who’s there? The traitor?

Enter Gloucester

and Servants.

REGAN.

Ingrateful fox! ’tis he.

CORNWALL.

Bind fast his corky arms.

GLOUCESTER.

What mean your graces?

Good my friends, consider you are my guests.

Do me no foul play, friends.

CORNWALL.

Bind him, I say.

[_Servants bind him._]

REGAN.

Hard, hard. O filthy traitor!

GLOUCESTER.

Unmerciful lady as you are, I’m none.

CORNWALL.

To this chair bind him. Villain, thou shalt find—

[_Regan plucks his beard._]

GLOUCESTER.

By the kind gods, ’tis most ignobly done

To pluck me by the beard.

REGAN.

So white, and such a traitor!

GLOUCESTER.

Naughty lady,

These hairs which thou dost ravish from my chin

Will quicken, and accuse thee. I am your host:

With robber’s hands my hospitable favours

You should not ruffle thus. What will you do?

CORNWALL.

Come, sir, what letters had you late from France?

REGAN.

Be simple answer’d, for we know the truth.

CORNWALL.

And what confederacy have you with the traitors,

Late footed in the kingdom?

REGAN.

To whose hands have you sent the lunatic King?

Speak.

GLOUCESTER.

I have a letter guessingly set down,

Which came from one that’s of a neutral heart,

And not from one oppos’d.

CORNWALL.

Cunning.

REGAN.

And false.

CORNWALL.

Where hast thou sent the King?

GLOUCESTER.

To Dover.

REGAN.

Wherefore to Dover? Wast thou not charg’d at peril,—

CORNWALL.

Wherefore to Dover? Let him first answer that.

GLOUCESTER.

I am tied to the stake, and I must stand the course.

REGAN.

Wherefore to Dover, sir?

GLOUCESTER.

Because I would not see thy cruel nails

Pluck out his poor old eyes; nor thy fierce sister

In his anointed flesh stick boarish fangs.

The sea, with such a storm as his bare head

In hell-black night endur’d, would have buoy’d up,

And quench’d the stelled fires;

Yet, poor old heart, he holp the heavens to rain.

If wolves had at thy gate howl’d that stern time,

Thou shouldst have said, ‘Good porter, turn the key.’

All cruels else subscrib’d: but I shall see

The winged vengeance overtake such children.

CORNWALL.

See’t shalt thou never. Fellows, hold the chair.

Upon these eyes of thine I’ll set my foot.

[_Gloucester is held down in his chair, while Cornwall plucks out one

of his eyes and sets his foot on it._]

GLOUCESTER.

He that will think to live till he be old,

Give me some help!—O cruel! O you gods!

REGAN.

One side will mock another; the other too!

CORNWALL.

If you see vengeance—

FIRST SERVANT.

Hold your hand, my lord:

I have serv’d you ever since I was a child;

But better service have I never done you

Than now to bid you hold.

REGAN.

How now, you dog!

FIRST SERVANT.

If you did wear a beard upon your chin,

I’d shake it on this quarrel. What do you mean?

CORNWALL.

My villain?

[_Draws, and runs at him._]

FIRST SERVANT.

Nay, then, come on, and take the chance of anger.

[_Draws. They fight. Cornwall is wounded._]

REGAN.

[_To another servant._] Give me thy sword. A peasant stand up thus?

[_Snatches a sword, comes behind, and stabs him._]

FIRST SERVANT.

O, I am slain! My lord, you have one eye left

To see some mischief on him. O!

[_Dies._]

CORNWALL.

Lest it see more, prevent it. Out, vile jelly!

Where is thy lustre now?

[_Tears out Gloucester’s other eye and throws it on the ground._]

GLOUCESTER.

All dark and comfortless. Where’s my son Edmund?

Edmund, enkindle all the sparks of nature

To quit this horrid act.

REGAN.

Out, treacherous villain!

Thou call’st on him that hates thee: it was he

That made the overture of thy treasons to us;

Who is too good to pity thee.

GLOUCESTER.

O my follies! Then Edgar was abus’d.

Kind gods, forgive me that, and prosper him!

REGAN.

Go thrust him out at gates, and let him smell

His way to Dover. How is’t, my lord? How look you?

CORNWALL.

I have receiv’d a hurt: follow me, lady.

Turn out that eyeless villain. Throw this slave

Upon the dunghill. Regan, I bleed apace:

Untimely comes this hurt: give me your arm.

[_Exit Cornwall, led by Regan; Servants unbind Gloucester and lead

him out._]

SECOND SERVANT.

I’ll never care what wickedness I do,

If this man come to good.

THIRD SERVANT.

If she live long,

And in the end meet the old course of death,

Women will all turn monsters.

SECOND SERVANT.

Let’s follow the old Earl, and get the bedlam

To lead him where he would: his roguish madness

Allows itself to anything.

THIRD SERVANT.

Go thou: I’ll fetch some flax and whites of eggs

To apply to his bleeding face. Now heaven help him!

[_Exeunt._]

ACT IV

SCENE I. The heath

Enter Edgar.

EDGAR.

Yet better thus, and known to be contemn’d,

Than still contemn’d and flatter’d. To be worst,

The lowest and most dejected thing of fortune,

Stands still in esperance, lives not in fear:

The lamentable change is from the best;

The worst returns to laughter. Welcome then,

Thou unsubstantial air that I embrace;

The wretch that thou hast blown unto the worst

Owes nothing to thy blasts.

Enter Gloucester, led by an

Old Man.

But who comes here? My father, poorly led?

World, world, O world!

But that thy strange mutations make us hate thee,

Life would not yield to age.

OLD MAN.

O my good lord, I have been your tenant, and your father’s tenant

these fourscore years.

GLOUCESTER.

Away, get thee away; good friend, be gone.

Thy comforts can do me no good at all;

Thee they may hurt.

OLD MAN.

You cannot see your way.

GLOUCESTER.

I have no way, and therefore want no eyes;

I stumbled when I saw. Full oft ’tis seen

Our means secure us, and our mere defects

Prove our commodities. O dear son Edgar,

The food of thy abused father’s wrath!

Might I but live to see thee in my touch,

I’d say I had eyes again!

OLD MAN.

How now! Who’s there?

EDGAR.

[_Aside._] O gods! Who is’t can say ‘I am at the

worst’?

I am worse than e’er I was.

OLD MAN.

’Tis poor mad Tom.

EDGAR.

[_Aside._] And worse I may be yet. The worst is not

So long as we can say ‘This is the worst.’

OLD MAN.

Fellow, where goest?

GLOUCESTER.

Is it a beggar-man?

OLD MAN.

Madman, and beggar too.

GLOUCESTER.

He has some reason, else he could not beg.

I’ the last night’s storm I such a fellow saw;

Which made me think a man a worm. My son

Came then into my mind, and yet my mind

Was then scarce friends with him.

I have heard more since.

As flies to wanton boys are we to the gods,

They kill us for their sport.

EDGAR.

[_Aside._] How should this be?

Bad is the trade that must play fool to sorrow,

Angering itself and others. Bless thee, master!

GLOUCESTER.

Is that the naked fellow?

OLD MAN.

Ay, my lord.

GLOUCESTER.

Then prithee get thee away. If for my sake

Thou wilt o’ertake us hence a mile or twain,

I’ the way toward Dover, do it for ancient love,

And bring some covering for this naked soul,

Which I’ll entreat to lead me.

OLD MAN.

Alack, sir, he is mad.

GLOUCESTER.

’Tis the time’s plague when madmen lead the blind.

Do as I bid thee, or rather do thy pleasure;

Above the rest, be gone.

OLD MAN.

I’ll bring him the best ’parel that I have,

Come on’t what will.

[_Exit._]

GLOUCESTER.

Sirrah naked fellow.

EDGAR.

Poor Tom’s a-cold.

[_Aside._] I cannot daub it further.

GLOUCESTER.

Come hither, fellow.

EDGAR.

[_Aside._] And yet I must. Bless thy sweet eyes, they bleed.

GLOUCESTER.

Know’st thou the way to Dover?

EDGAR.

Both stile and gate, horseway and footpath. Poor Tom hath been

scared out of his good wits. Bless thee, good man’s son, from

the foul fiend! Five fiends have been in poor Tom at once; of

lust, as Obidicut; Hobbididence, prince of darkness; Mahu, of

stealing; Modo, of murder; Flibbertigibbet, of mopping and

mowing, who since possesses chambermaids and waiting women. So,

bless thee, master!

GLOUCESTER.

Here, take this purse, thou whom the heaven’s plagues

Have humbled to all strokes: that I am wretched

Makes thee the happier. Heavens deal so still!

Let the superfluous and lust-dieted man,

That slaves your ordinance, that will not see

Because he does not feel, feel your power quickly;

So distribution should undo excess,

And each man have enough. Dost thou know Dover?

EDGAR.

Ay, master.

GLOUCESTER.

There is a cliff, whose high and bending head

Looks fearfully in the confined deep:

Bring me but to the very brim of it,

And I’ll repair the misery thou dost bear

With something rich about me: from that place

I shall no leading need.

EDGAR.

Give me thy arm:

Poor Tom shall lead thee.

[_Exeunt._]

SCENE II. Before the Duke of Albany’s Palace

Enter Goneril, Edmund;

Oswald meeting them.

GONERIL.

Welcome, my lord. I marvel our mild husband

Not met us on the way. Now, where’s your master?

OSWALD.

Madam, within; but never man so chang’d.

I told him of the army that was landed;

He smil’d at it: I told him you were coming;

His answer was, ‘The worse.’ Of Gloucester’s treachery

And of the loyal service of his son

When I inform’d him, then he call’d me sot,

And told me I had turn’d the wrong side out.

What most he should dislike seems pleasant to him;

What like, offensive.

GONERIL.

[_To Edmund._] Then shall you go no further.

It is the cowish terror of his spirit,

That dares not undertake. He’ll not feel wrongs

Which tie him to an answer. Our wishes on the way

May prove effects. Back, Edmund, to my brother;

Hasten his musters and conduct his powers.

I must change names at home, and give the distaff

Into my husband’s hands. This trusty servant

Shall pass between us. Ere long you are like to hear,

If you dare venture in your own behalf,

A mistress’s command. [_Giving a favour._]

Wear this; spare speech;

Decline your head. This kiss, if it durst speak,

Would stretch thy spirits up into the air.

Conceive, and fare thee well.

EDMUND.

Yours in the ranks of death.

[_Exit Edmund._]

GONERIL.

My most dear Gloucester.

O, the difference of man and man!

To thee a woman’s services are due;

My fool usurps my body.

OSWALD.

Madam, here comes my lord.

[_Exit._]

Enter Albany.

GONERIL.

I have been worth the whistle.

ALBANY.

O Goneril!

You are not worth the dust which the rude wind

Blows in your face! I fear your disposition;

That nature which contemns its origin

Cannot be bordered certain in itself.

She that herself will sliver and disbranch

From her material sap, perforce must wither

And come to deadly use.

GONERIL.

No more; the text is foolish.

ALBANY.

Wisdom and goodness to the vile seem vile;

Filths savour but themselves. What have you done?

Tigers, not daughters, what have you perform’d?

A father, and a gracious aged man,

Whose reverence even the head-lugg’d bear would lick,

Most barbarous, most degenerate, have you madded.

Could my good brother suffer you to do it?

A man, a prince, by him so benefitted!

If that the heavens do not their visible spirits

Send quickly down to tame these vile offences,

It will come,

Humanity must perforce prey on itself,

Like monsters of the deep.

GONERIL.

Milk-liver’d man!

That bear’st a cheek for blows, a head for wrongs;

Who hast not in thy brows an eye discerning

Thine honour from thy suffering; that not know’st

Fools do those villains pity who are punish’d

Ere they have done their mischief. Where’s thy drum?

France spreads his banners in our noiseless land;

With plumed helm thy state begins to threat,

Whilst thou, a moral fool, sitt’st still, and criest

‘Alack, why does he so?’

ALBANY.

See thyself, devil!

Proper deformity seems not in the fiend

So horrid as in woman.

GONERIL.

O vain fool!

ALBANY.

Thou changed and self-cover’d thing, for shame!

Be-monster not thy feature! Were’t my fitness

To let these hands obey my blood,

They are apt enough to dislocate and tear

Thy flesh and bones. Howe’er thou art a fiend,

A woman’s shape doth shield thee.

GONERIL.

Marry, your manhood, mew!

Enter a Messenger.

ALBANY.

What news?

MESSENGER.

O, my good lord, the Duke of Cornwall’s dead;

Slain by his servant, going to put out

The other eye of Gloucester.

ALBANY.

Gloucester’s eyes!

MESSENGER.

A servant that he bred, thrill’d with remorse,

Oppos’d against the act, bending his sword

To his great master; who, thereat enrag’d,

Flew on him, and amongst them fell’d him dead;

But not without that harmful stroke which since

Hath pluck’d him after.

ALBANY.

This shows you are above,

You justicers, that these our nether crimes

So speedily can venge! But, O poor Gloucester!

Lost he his other eye?

MESSENGER.

Both, both, my lord.

This letter, madam, craves a speedy answer;

’Tis from your sister.

GONERIL.

[_Aside._] One way I like this well;

But being widow, and my Gloucester with her,

May all the building in my fancy pluck

Upon my hateful life. Another way

The news is not so tart. I’ll read, and answer.

[_Exit._]

ALBANY.

Where was his son when they did take his eyes?

MESSENGER.

Come with my lady hither.

ALBANY.

He is not here.

MESSENGER.

No, my good lord; I met him back again.

ALBANY.

Knows he the wickedness?

MESSENGER.

Ay, my good lord. ’Twas he inform’d against him;

And quit the house on purpose, that their punishment

Might have the freer course.

ALBANY.

Gloucester, I live

To thank thee for the love thou show’dst the King,

And to revenge thine eyes. Come hither, friend,

Tell me what more thou know’st.

[_Exeunt._]

SCENE III. The French camp near Dover

Enter Kent and a Gentleman.

KENT.

Why the King of France is so suddenly gone back, know you no

reason?

GENTLEMAN.

Something he left imperfect in the state, which since his coming

forth is thought of, which imports to the kingdom so much fear

and danger that his personal return was most required and

necessary.

KENT.

Who hath he left behind him general?

GENTLEMAN.

The Mareschal of France, Monsieur La Far.

KENT.

Did your letters pierce the queen to any demonstration of grief?

GENTLEMAN.

Ay, sir; she took them, read them in my presence;

And now and then an ample tear trill’d down

Her delicate cheek. It seem’d she was a queen

Over her passion; who, most rebel-like,

Sought to be king o’er her.

KENT.

O, then it mov’d her.

GENTLEMAN.

Not to a rage: patience and sorrow strove

Who should express her goodliest. You have seen

Sunshine and rain at once: her smiles and tears

Were like a better day. Those happy smilets

That play’d on her ripe lip seem’d not to know

What guests were in her eyes; which parted thence

As pearls from diamonds dropp’d. In brief,

Sorrow would be a rarity most belov’d,

If all could so become it.

KENT.

Made she no verbal question?

GENTLEMAN.

Faith, once or twice she heav’d the name of ‘father’

Pantingly forth, as if it press’d her heart;

Cried ‘Sisters, sisters! Shame of ladies! sisters!

Kent! father! sisters! What, i’ the storm? i’ the night?

Let pity not be believ’d!’ There she shook

The holy water from her heavenly eyes,

And clamour master’d her: then away she started

To deal with grief alone.

KENT.

It is the stars,

The stars above us govern our conditions;

Else one self mate and make could not beget

Such different issues. You spoke not with her since?

GENTLEMAN.

No.

KENT.

Was this before the King return’d?

GENTLEMAN.

No, since.

KENT.

Well, sir, the poor distressed Lear’s i’ the town;

Who sometime, in his better tune, remembers

What we are come about, and by no means

Will yield to see his daughter.

GENTLEMAN.

Why, good sir?

KENT.

A sovereign shame so elbows him. His own unkindness,

That stripp’d her from his benediction, turn’d her

To foreign casualties, gave her dear rights

To his dog-hearted daughters, these things sting

His mind so venomously that burning shame

Detains him from Cordelia.

GENTLEMAN.

Alack, poor gentleman!

KENT.

Of Albany’s and Cornwall’s powers you heard not?

GENTLEMAN.

’Tis so; they are afoot.

KENT.

Well, sir, I’ll bring you to our master Lear

And leave you to attend him. Some dear cause

Will in concealment wrap me up awhile;

When I am known aright, you shall not grieve

Lending me this acquaintance.

I pray you, go along with me.

[_Exeunt._]

SCENE IV. The French camp. A Tent

Enter with drum and colours, Cordelia, Physician

and Soldiers.

CORDELIA.

Alack, ’tis he: why, he was met even now

As mad as the vex’d sea; singing aloud;

Crown’d with rank fumiter and furrow weeds,

With harlocks, hemlock, nettles, cuckoo-flowers,

Darnel, and all the idle weeds that grow

In our sustaining corn. A century send forth;

Search every acre in the high-grown field,

And bring him to our eye.

[_Exit an Officer._]

What can man’s wisdom

In the restoring his bereaved sense,

He that helps him take all my outward worth.

PHYSICIAN.

There is means, madam:

Our foster nurse of nature is repose,

The which he lacks; that to provoke in him

Are many simples operative, whose power

Will close the eye of anguish.

CORDELIA.

All bless’d secrets,

All you unpublish’d virtues of the earth,

Spring with my tears! Be aidant and remediate

In the good man’s distress! Seek, seek for him;

Lest his ungovern’d rage dissolve the life

That wants the means to lead it.

Enter a Messenger.

MESSENGER.

News, madam;

The British powers are marching hitherward.

CORDELIA.

’Tis known before. Our preparation stands

In expectation of them. O dear father,

It is thy business that I go about;

Therefore great France

My mourning and important tears hath pitied.

No blown ambition doth our arms incite,

But love, dear love, and our ag’d father’s right:

Soon may I hear and see him!

[_Exeunt._]

SCENE V. A Room in Gloucester’s Castle

Enter Regan and Oswald.

REGAN.

But are my brother’s powers set forth?

OSWALD.

Ay, madam.

REGAN.

Himself in person there?

OSWALD.

Madam, with much ado.

Your sister is the better soldier.

REGAN.

Lord Edmund spake not with your lord at home?

OSWALD.

No, madam.

REGAN.

What might import my sister’s letter to him?

OSWALD.

I know not, lady.

REGAN.

Faith, he is posted hence on serious matter.

It was great ignorance, Gloucester’s eyes being out,

To let him live. Where he arrives he moves

All hearts against us. Edmund, I think, is gone

In pity of his misery, to dispatch

His nighted life; moreover to descry

The strength o’ th’enemy.

OSWALD.

I must needs after him, madam, with my letter.

REGAN.

Our troops set forth tomorrow; stay with us;

The ways are dangerous.

OSWALD.

I may not, madam:

My lady charg’d my duty in this business.

REGAN.

Why should she write to Edmund? Might not you

Transport her purposes by word? Belike,

Somethings, I know not what, I’ll love thee much.

Let me unseal the letter.

OSWALD.

Madam, I had rather—

REGAN.

I know your lady does not love her husband;

I am sure of that; and at her late being here

She gave strange oeillades and most speaking looks

To noble Edmund. I know you are of her bosom.

OSWALD.

I, madam?

REGAN.

I speak in understanding; y’are, I know’t:

Therefore I do advise you take this note:

My lord is dead; Edmund and I have talk’d,

And more convenient is he for my hand

Than for your lady’s. You may gather more.

If you do find him, pray you give him this;

And when your mistress hears thus much from you,

I pray desire her call her wisdom to her.

So, fare you well.

If you do chance to hear of that blind traitor,

Preferment falls on him that cuts him off.

OSWALD.

Would I could meet him, madam! I should show

What party I do follow.

REGAN.

Fare thee well.

[_Exeunt._]

SCENE VI. The country near Dover

Enter Gloucester, and Edgar dressed like a peasant.

GLOUCESTER.

When shall I come to the top of that same hill?

EDGAR.

You do climb up it now. Look how we labour.

GLOUCESTER.

Methinks the ground is even.

EDGAR.

Horrible steep.

Hark, do you hear the sea?

GLOUCESTER.

No, truly.

EDGAR.

Why, then, your other senses grow imperfect

By your eyes’ anguish.

GLOUCESTER.

So may it be indeed.

Methinks thy voice is alter’d; and thou speak’st

In better phrase and matter than thou didst.

EDGAR.

Y’are much deceiv’d: in nothing am I chang’d

But in my garments.

GLOUCESTER.

Methinks you’re better spoken.

EDGAR.

Come on, sir; here’s the place. Stand still. How fearful

And dizzy ’tis to cast one’s eyes so low!

The crows and choughs that wing the midway air

Show scarce so gross as beetles. Half way down

Hangs one that gathers samphire—dreadful trade!

Methinks he seems no bigger than his head.

The fishermen that walk upon the beach

Appear like mice; and yond tall anchoring bark,

Diminish’d to her cock; her cock a buoy

Almost too small for sight: the murmuring surge

That on th’unnumber’d idle pebble chafes

Cannot be heard so high. I’ll look no more;

Lest my brain turn, and the deficient sight

Topple down headlong.

GLOUCESTER.

Set me where you stand.

EDGAR.

Give me your hand.

You are now within a foot of th’extreme verge.

For all beneath the moon would I not leap upright.

GLOUCESTER.

Let go my hand.

Here, friend, ’s another purse; in it a jewel

Well worth a poor man’s taking. Fairies and gods

Prosper it with thee! Go thou further off;

Bid me farewell, and let me hear thee going.

EDGAR.

Now fare ye well, good sir.

[_Seems to go._]

GLOUCESTER.

With all my heart.

EDGAR.

[_Aside._] Why I do trifle thus with his despair

Is done to cure it.

GLOUCESTER.

O you mighty gods!

This world I do renounce, and in your sights,

Shake patiently my great affliction off:

If I could bear it longer, and not fall

To quarrel with your great opposeless wills,

My snuff and loathed part of nature should

Burn itself out. If Edgar live, O, bless him!

Now, fellow, fare thee well.

EDGAR.

Gone, sir, farewell.

[_Gloucester leaps, and falls along_]

And yet I know not how conceit may rob

The treasury of life when life itself

Yields to the theft. Had he been where he thought,

By this had thought been past. Alive or dead?

Ho you, sir! friend! Hear you, sir? speak!

Thus might he pass indeed: yet he revives.

What are you, sir?

GLOUCESTER.

Away, and let me die.

EDGAR.

Hadst thou been aught but gossamer, feathers, air,

So many fathom down precipitating,

Thou’dst shiver’d like an egg: but thou dost breathe;

Hast heavy substance; bleed’st not; speak’st; art sound.

Ten masts at each make not the altitude

Which thou hast perpendicularly fell.

Thy life is a miracle. Speak yet again.

GLOUCESTER.

But have I fall’n, or no?

EDGAR.

From the dread summit of this chalky bourn.

Look up a-height, the shrill-gorg’d lark so far

Cannot be seen or heard. Do but look up.

GLOUCESTER.

Alack, I have no eyes.

Is wretchedness depriv’d that benefit

To end itself by death? ’Twas yet some comfort

When misery could beguile the tyrant’s rage

And frustrate his proud will.

EDGAR.

Give me your arm.

Up, so. How is’t? Feel you your legs? You stand.

GLOUCESTER.

Too well, too well.

EDGAR.

This is above all strangeness.

Upon the crown o’ the cliff what thing was that

Which parted from you?

GLOUCESTER.

A poor unfortunate beggar.

EDGAR.

As I stood here below, methought his eyes

Were two full moons; he had a thousand noses,

Horns whelk’d and waved like the enraged sea.

It was some fiend. Therefore, thou happy father,

Think that the clearest gods, who make them honours

Of men’s impossibilities, have preserv’d thee.

GLOUCESTER.

I do remember now: henceforth I’ll bear

Affliction till it do cry out itself

‘Enough, enough,’ and die. That thing you speak of,

I took it for a man; often ’twould say,

‘The fiend, the fiend’; he led me to that place.

EDGAR.

Bear free and patient thoughts. But who comes here?

Enter Lear, fantastically

dressed up with flowers.

The safer sense will ne’er accommodate

His master thus.

LEAR.

No, they cannot touch me for coining. I am the King himself.

EDGAR.

O thou side-piercing sight!

LEAR.

Nature’s above art in that respect. There’s your press money.

That fellow handles his bow like a crow-keeper: draw me a clothier’s

yard. Look, look, a mouse! Peace, peace, this piece of toasted cheese

will do’t. There’s my gauntlet; I’ll prove it on a giant.

Bring up the brown bills. O, well flown, bird! i’ the clout, i’

the clout. Hewgh! Give the word.

EDGAR.

Sweet marjoram.

LEAR.

Pass.

GLOUCESTER.

I know that voice.

LEAR.

Ha! Goneril with a white beard! They flattered me like a dog; and told

me I had white hairs in my beard ere the black ones were there. To say

‘ay’ and ‘no’ to everything I said ‘ay’

and ‘no’ to was no good divinity. When the rain came to wet

me once, and the wind to make me chatter; when the thunder would not

peace at my bidding; there I found ’em, there I smelt ’em out.

Go to, they are not men o’ their words: they told me I was everything;

’tis a lie, I am not ague-proof.

GLOUCESTER.

The trick of that voice I do well remember:

Is’t not the King?

LEAR.

Ay, every inch a king.

When I do stare, see how the subject quakes.

I pardon that man’s life. What was thy cause?

Adultery? Thou shalt not die: die for adultery! No:

The wren goes to’t, and the small gilded fly

Does lecher in my sight. Let copulation thrive;

For Gloucester’s bastard son was kinder to his father

Than my daughters got ’tween the lawful sheets.

To’t, luxury, pell-mell! for I lack soldiers.

Behold yond simp’ring dame,

Whose face between her forks presages snow;

That minces virtue, and does shake the head

To hear of pleasure’s name.

The fitchew nor the soiled horse goes to’t with a more riotous

appetite. Down from the waist they are centaurs, though women all

above. But to the girdle do the gods inherit, beneath is all the

fiend’s; there’s hell, there’s darkness, there is the sulphurous pit;

burning, scalding, stench,

consumption. Fie, fie, fie! pah, pah! Give me an ounce of civet, good

apothecary, to sweeten my imagination. There’s money for thee.

GLOUCESTER.

O, let me kiss that hand!

LEAR.

Let me wipe it first; it smells of mortality.

GLOUCESTER.

O ruin’d piece of nature, this great world

Shall so wear out to naught. Dost thou know me?

LEAR.

I remember thine eyes well enough. Dost thou squiny at me?

No, do thy worst, blind Cupid; I’ll not love.

Read thou this challenge; mark but the penning of it.

GLOUCESTER.

Were all the letters suns, I could not see one.

EDGAR.

I would not take this from report,

It is, and my heart breaks at it.

LEAR.

Read.

GLOUCESTER.

What, with the case of eyes?

LEAR.

O, ho, are you there with me? No eyes in your head, nor no money

in your purse? Your eyes are in a heavy case, your purse in a

light, yet you see how this world goes.

GLOUCESTER.

I see it feelingly.

LEAR.

What, art mad? A man may see how the world goes with no eyes.

Look with thine ears. See how yon justice rails upon yon simple

thief. Hark, in thine ear: change places; and, handy-dandy, which

is the justice, which is the thief? Thou hast seen a farmer’s

dog bark at a beggar?

GLOUCESTER.

Ay, sir.

LEAR.

And the creature run from the cur? There thou mightst behold

the great image of authority: a dog’s obeyed in office.

Thou rascal beadle, hold thy bloody hand!

Why dost thou lash that whore? Strip thine own back;

Thou hotly lusts to use her in that kind

For which thou whipp’st her. The usurer hangs the cozener.

Through tatter’d clothes great vices do appear;

Robes and furr’d gowns hide all. Plate sin with gold,

And the strong lance of justice hurtless breaks;

Arm it in rags, a pygmy’s straw does pierce it.

None does offend, none, I say none; I’ll able ’em;

Take that of me, my friend, who have the power

To seal the accuser’s lips. Get thee glass eyes,

And like a scurvy politician, seem

To see the things thou dost not. Now, now, now, now:

Pull off my boots: harder, harder, so.

EDGAR.

O, matter and impertinency mix’d!

Reason in madness!

LEAR.

If thou wilt weep my fortunes, take my eyes.

I know thee well enough, thy name is Gloucester.

Thou must be patient; we came crying hither:

Thou know’st the first time that we smell the air

We wawl and cry. I will preach to thee: mark.

GLOUCESTER.

Alack, alack the day!

LEAR.

When we are born, we cry that we are come

To this great stage of fools. This a good block:

It were a delicate stratagem to shoe

A troop of horse with felt. I’ll put’t in proof

And when I have stol’n upon these son-in-laws,

Then kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill!

Enter a Gentleman with

Attendants.

GENTLEMAN.

O, here he is: lay hand upon him. Sir,

Your most dear daughter—

LEAR.

No rescue? What, a prisoner? I am even

The natural fool of fortune. Use me well;

You shall have ransom. Let me have surgeons;

I am cut to the brains.

GENTLEMAN.

You shall have anything.

LEAR.

No seconds? All myself?

Why, this would make a man a man of salt,

To use his eyes for garden water-pots,

Ay, and for laying autumn’s dust.

GENTLEMAN.

Good sir.

LEAR.

I will die bravely, like a smug bridegroom.

What! I will be jovial. Come, come,

I am a king, my masters, know you that.

GENTLEMAN.

You are a royal one, and we obey you.

LEAR.

Then there’s life in’t. Come, and you get it,

You shall get it by running. Sa, sa, sa, sa!

[_Exit running. Attendants follow._]

GENTLEMAN.

A sight most pitiful in the meanest wretch,

Past speaking of in a king! Thou hast one daughter

Who redeems nature from the general curse

Which twain have brought her to.

EDGAR.

Hail, gentle sir.

GENTLEMAN.

Sir, speed you. What’s your will?

EDGAR.

Do you hear aught, sir, of a battle toward?

GENTLEMAN.

Most sure and vulgar.

Everyone hears that, which can distinguish sound.

EDGAR.

But, by your favour,

How near’s the other army?

GENTLEMAN.

Near and on speedy foot; the main descry

Stands on the hourly thought.

EDGAR.

I thank you sir, that’s all.

GENTLEMAN.

Though that the queen on special cause is here,

Her army is mov’d on.

EDGAR.

I thank you, sir.

[_Exit Gentleman._]

GLOUCESTER.

You ever-gentle gods, take my breath from me;

Let not my worser spirit tempt me again

To die before you please.

EDGAR.

Well pray you, father.

GLOUCESTER.

Now, good sir, what are you?

EDGAR.

A most poor man, made tame to fortune’s blows;

Who, by the art of known and feeling sorrows,

Am pregnant to good pity. Give me your hand,

I’ll lead you to some biding.

GLOUCESTER.

Hearty thanks:

The bounty and the benison of heaven

To boot, and boot.

Enter Oswald.

OSWALD.

A proclaim’d prize! Most happy!

That eyeless head of thine was first fram’d flesh

To raise my fortunes. Thou old unhappy traitor,

Briefly thyself remember. The sword is out

That must destroy thee.

GLOUCESTER.

Now let thy friendly hand

Put strength enough to’t.

[_Edgar interposes._]

OSWALD.

Wherefore, bold peasant,

Dar’st thou support a publish’d traitor? Hence;

Lest that th’infection of his fortune take

Like hold on thee. Let go his arm.

EDGAR.

Chill not let go, zir, without vurther ’casion.

OSWALD.

Let go, slave, or thou diest!

EDGAR.

Good gentleman, go your gait, and let poor volke pass. An chud ha’

bin zwaggered out of my life, ’twould not ha’ bin zo long

as ’tis by a vortnight. Nay, come not near th’old man; keep

out, che vor ye, or ise try whether your costard or my ballow be the

harder: chill be plain with you.

OSWALD.

Out, dunghill!

EDGAR.

Chill pick your teeth, zir. Come! No matter vor your foins.

[_They fight, and Edgar knocks him down._]

OSWALD.

Slave, thou hast slain me. Villain, take my purse.

If ever thou wilt thrive, bury my body;

And give the letters which thou find’st about me

To Edmund, Earl of Gloucester. Seek him out

Upon the British party. O, untimely death!

[_Dies._]

EDGAR.

I know thee well. A serviceable villain,

As duteous to the vices of thy mistress

As badness would desire.

GLOUCESTER.

What, is he dead?

EDGAR.

Sit you down, father; rest you.

Let’s see these pockets; the letters that he speaks of

May be my friends. He’s dead; I am only sorry

He had no other deathsman. Let us see:

Leave, gentle wax; and, manners, blame us not.

To know our enemies’ minds, we rip their hearts,

Their papers is more lawful.

[_Reads._] ‘Let our reciprocal vows be remembered. You have many

opportunities to cut him off: if your will want not, time and place

will be fruitfully offered. There is nothing done if he return the

conqueror: then am I the prisoner, and his bed my gaol; from the

loathed warmth whereof deliver me, and supply the place for your

labour. ‘Your (wife, so I would say) affectionate servant, ‘Goneril.’

O indistinguish’d space of woman’s will!

A plot upon her virtuous husband’s life,

And the exchange my brother! Here in the sands

Thee I’ll rake up, the post unsanctified

Of murderous lechers: and in the mature time,

With this ungracious paper strike the sight

Of the death-practis’d Duke: for him ’tis well

That of thy death and business I can tell.

[_Exit Edgar, dragging out the body._]

GLOUCESTER.

The King is mad: how stiff is my vile sense,

That I stand up, and have ingenious feeling

Of my huge sorrows! Better I were distract:

So should my thoughts be sever’d from my griefs,

And woes by wrong imaginations lose

The knowledge of themselves.

[_A drum afar off._]

EDGAR.

Give me your hand.

Far off methinks I hear the beaten drum.

Come, father, I’ll bestow you with a friend.

[_Exeunt._]

SCENE VII. A Tent in the French Camp

Lear on a bed, asleep, soft

music playing; Physician, Gentleman and others

attending.

Enter Cordelia and Kent.

CORDELIA.

O thou good Kent, how shall I live and work

To match thy goodness? My life will be too short,

And every measure fail me.

KENT.

To be acknowledg’d, madam, is o’erpaid.

All my reports go with the modest truth;

Nor more, nor clipp’d, but so.

CORDELIA.

Be better suited,

These weeds are memories of those worser hours:

I prithee put them off.

KENT.

Pardon, dear madam;

Yet to be known shortens my made intent.

My boon I make it that you know me not

Till time and I think meet.

CORDELIA.

Then be’t so, my good lord. [_To the Physician._] How does the King?

PHYSICIAN.

Madam, sleeps still.

CORDELIA.

O you kind gods,

Cure this great breach in his abused nature!

The untun’d and jarring senses, O, wind up

Of this child-changed father.

PHYSICIAN.

So please your majesty

That we may wake the King: he hath slept long.

CORDELIA.

Be govern’d by your knowledge, and proceed

I’ the sway of your own will. Is he array’d?

PHYSICIAN.

Ay, madam. In the heaviness of sleep

We put fresh garments on him.

Be by, good madam, when we do awake him;

I doubt not of his temperance.

CORDELIA.

Very well.

PHYSICIAN.

Please you draw near. Louder the music there!

CORDELIA.

O my dear father! Restoration hang

Thy medicine on my lips; and let this kiss

Repair those violent harms that my two sisters

Have in thy reverence made!

KENT.

Kind and dear princess!

CORDELIA.

Had you not been their father, these white flakes

Did challenge pity of them. Was this a face

To be oppos’d against the warring winds?

To stand against the deep dread-bolted thunder?

In the most terrible and nimble stroke

Of quick cross lightning? to watch, poor perdu!

With this thin helm? Mine enemy’s dog,

Though he had bit me, should have stood that night

Against my fire; and wast thou fain, poor father,

To hovel thee with swine and rogues forlorn

In short and musty straw? Alack, alack!

’Tis wonder that thy life and wits at once

Had not concluded all. He wakes; speak to him.

PHYSICIAN.

Madam, do you; ’tis fittest.

CORDELIA.

How does my royal lord? How fares your majesty?

LEAR.

You do me wrong to take me out o’ the grave.

Thou art a soul in bliss; but I am bound

Upon a wheel of fire, that mine own tears

Do scald like molten lead.

CORDELIA.

Sir, do you know me?

LEAR.

You are a spirit, I know: when did you die?

CORDELIA.

Still, still, far wide!

PHYSICIAN.

He’s scarce awake: let him alone awhile.

LEAR.

Where have I been? Where am I? Fair daylight?

I am mightily abus’d. I should e’en die with pity,

To see another thus. I know not what to say.

I will not swear these are my hands: let’s see;

I feel this pin prick. Would I were assur’d

Of my condition!

CORDELIA.

O, look upon me, sir,

And hold your hands in benediction o’er me.

No, sir, you must not kneel.

LEAR.

Pray, do not mock me:

I am a very foolish fond old man,

Fourscore and upward, not an hour more nor less;

And to deal plainly,

I fear I am not in my perfect mind.

Methinks I should know you, and know this man;

Yet I am doubtful: for I am mainly ignorant

What place this is; and all the skill I have

Remembers not these garments; nor I know not

Where I did lodge last night. Do not laugh at me;

For, as I am a man, I think this lady

To be my child Cordelia.

CORDELIA.

And so I am. I am.

LEAR.

Be your tears wet? Yes, faith. I pray weep not:

If you have poison for me, I will drink it.

I know you do not love me; for your sisters

Have, as I do remember, done me wrong.

You have some cause, they have not.

CORDELIA.

No cause, no cause.

LEAR.

Am I in France?

KENT.

In your own kingdom, sir.

LEAR.

Do not abuse me.

PHYSICIAN.

Be comforted, good madam, the great rage,

You see, is kill’d in him: and yet it is danger

To make him even o’er the time he has lost.

Desire him to go in; trouble him no more

Till further settling.

CORDELIA.

Will’t please your highness walk?

LEAR.

You must bear with me:

Pray you now, forget and forgive: I am old and foolish.

[_Exeunt Lear, Cordelia, Physician and Attendants._]

GENTLEMAN.

Holds it true, sir, that the Duke of Cornwall was so slain?

KENT.

Most certain, sir.

GENTLEMAN.

Who is conductor of his people?

KENT.

As ’tis said, the bastard son of Gloucester.

GENTLEMAN.

They say Edgar, his banished son, is with the Earl of Kent

in Germany.

KENT.

Report is changeable. ’Tis time to look about; the powers of

the kingdom approach apace.

GENTLEMAN.

The arbitrement is like to be bloody.

Fare you well, sir.

[_Exit._]

KENT.

My point and period will be throughly wrought,

Or well or ill, as this day’s battle’s fought.

[_Exit._]

ACT V

SCENE I. The Camp of the British Forces near Dover

Enter, with drum and colours Edmund, Regan, Officers, Soldiers and

others.

EDMUND.

Know of the Duke if his last purpose hold,

Or whether since he is advis’d by aught

To change the course, he’s full of alteration

And self-reproving, bring his constant pleasure.

[_To an Officer, who goes out._]

REGAN.

Our sister’s man is certainly miscarried.

EDMUND.

’Tis to be doubted, madam.

REGAN.

Now, sweet lord,

You know the goodness I intend upon you:

Tell me but truly, but then speak the truth,

Do you not love my sister?

EDMUND.

In honour’d love.

REGAN.

But have you never found my brother’s way

To the forfended place?

EDMUND.

That thought abuses you.

REGAN.

I am doubtful that you have been conjunct

And bosom’d with her, as far as we call hers.

EDMUND.

No, by mine honour, madam.

REGAN.

I never shall endure her, dear my lord,

Be not familiar with her.

EDMUND.

Fear not,

She and the Duke her husband!

Enter with drum and colours Albany, Goneril and Soldiers.

GONERIL.

[_Aside._] I had rather lose the battle than that sister

Should loosen him and me.

ALBANY.

Our very loving sister, well be-met.

Sir, this I heard: the King is come to his daughter,

With others whom the rigour of our state

Forc’d to cry out. Where I could not be honest,

I never yet was valiant. For this business,

It toucheth us as France invades our land,

Not bolds the King, with others whom I fear

Most just and heavy causes make oppose.

EDMUND.

Sir, you speak nobly.

REGAN.

Why is this reason’d?

GONERIL.

Combine together ’gainst the enemy;

For these domestic and particular broils

Are not the question here.

ALBANY.

Let’s, then, determine with the ancient of war

On our proceeding.

EDMUND.

I shall attend you presently at your tent.

REGAN.

Sister, you’ll go with us?

GONERIL.

No.

REGAN.

’Tis most convenient; pray you, go with us.

GONERIL.

[_Aside_.] O, ho, I know the riddle. I will go.

[_Exeunt Edmund, Regan, Goneril, Officers, Soldiers and Attendants._]

As they are going out, enter Edgar disguised.

EDGAR.

If e’er your grace had speech with man so poor,

Hear me one word.

ALBANY.

I’ll overtake you. Speak.

EDGAR.

Before you fight the battle, ope this letter.

If you have victory, let the trumpet sound

For him that brought it: wretched though I seem,

I can produce a champion that will prove

What is avouched there. If you miscarry,

Your business of the world hath so an end,

And machination ceases. Fortune love you!

ALBANY.

Stay till I have read the letter.

EDGAR.

I was forbid it.

When time shall serve, let but the herald cry,

And I’ll appear again.

ALBANY.

Why, fare thee well. I will o’erlook thy paper.

[_Exit Edgar._]

Enter Edmund.

EDMUND.

The enemy’s in view; draw up your powers.

Here is the guess of their true strength and forces

By diligent discovery; but your haste

Is now urg’d on you.

ALBANY.

We will greet the time.

[_Exit._]

EDMUND.

To both these sisters have I sworn my love;

Each jealous of the other, as the stung

Are of the adder. Which of them shall I take?

Both? One? Or neither? Neither can be enjoy’d,

If both remain alive. To take the widow

Exasperates, makes mad her sister Goneril;

And hardly shall I carry out my side,

Her husband being alive. Now, then, we’ll use

His countenance for the battle; which being done,

Let her who would be rid of him devise

His speedy taking off. As for the mercy

Which he intends to Lear and to Cordelia,

The battle done, and they within our power,

Shall never see his pardon: for my state

Stands on me to defend, not to debate.

[_Exit._]

SCENE II. A field between the two Camps

Alarum within. Enter with drum and colours, Lear, Cordelia and their

Forces, and exeunt.

Enter Edgar and Gloucester.

EDGAR.

Here, father, take the shadow of this tree

For your good host; pray that the right may thrive:

If ever I return to you again,

I’ll bring you comfort.

GLOUCESTER.

Grace go with you, sir!

[_Exit Edgar._]

Alarum and retreat within. Enter Edgar.

EDGAR.

Away, old man, give me thy hand, away!

King Lear hath lost, he and his daughter ta’en:

Give me thy hand; come on!

GLOUCESTER.

No further, sir; a man may rot even here.

EDGAR.

What, in ill thoughts again? Men must endure

Their going hence, even as their coming hither;

Ripeness is all. Come on.

GLOUCESTER.

And that’s true too.

[_Exeunt._]

SCENE III. The British Camp near Dover

Enter in conquest with drum and colours, Edmund, Lear and Cordelia

as prisoners; Officers, Soldiers, &c.

EDMUND.

Some officers take them away: good guard

Until their greater pleasures first be known

That are to censure them.

CORDELIA.

We are not the first

Who with best meaning have incurr’d the worst.

For thee, oppressed King, I am cast down;

Myself could else out-frown false fortune’s frown.

Shall we not see these daughters and these sisters?

LEAR.

No, no, no, no. Come, let’s away to prison:

We two alone will sing like birds i’ the cage:

When thou dost ask me blessing I’ll kneel down

And ask of thee forgiveness. So we’ll live,

And pray, and sing, and tell old tales, and laugh

At gilded butterflies, and hear poor rogues

Talk of court news; and we’ll talk with them too,

Who loses and who wins; who’s in, who’s out;

And take upon’s the mystery of things,

As if we were God’s spies. And we’ll wear out,

In a wall’d prison, packs and sects of great ones

That ebb and flow by the moon.

EDMUND.

Take them away.

LEAR.

Upon such sacrifices, my Cordelia,

The gods themselves throw incense. Have I caught thee?

He that parts us shall bring a brand from heaven,

And fire us hence like foxes. Wipe thine eyes;

The good years shall devour them, flesh and fell,

Ere they shall make us weep!

We’ll see ’em starve first: come.

[_Exeunt Lear and Cordelia, guarded._]

EDMUND.

Come hither, captain, hark.

Take thou this note [_giving a paper_]; go follow them to prison.

One step I have advanc’d thee; if thou dost

As this instructs thee, thou dost make thy way

To noble fortunes: know thou this, that men

Are as the time is; to be tender-minded

Does not become a sword. Thy great employment

Will not bear question; either say thou’lt do’t,

Or thrive by other means.

CAPTAIN.

I’ll do’t, my lord.

EDMUND.

About it; and write happy when thou hast done.

Mark, I say, instantly; and carry it so

As I have set it down.

CAPTAIN.

I cannot draw a cart, nor eat dried oats;

If it be man’s work, I’ll do’t.

[_Exit._]

Flourish. Enter Albany, Goneril,

Regan, Officers and Attendants.

ALBANY.

Sir, you have show’d today your valiant strain,

And fortune led you well: you have the captives

Who were the opposites of this day’s strife:

I do require them of you, so to use them

As we shall find their merits and our safety

May equally determine.

EDMUND.

Sir, I thought it fit

To send the old and miserable King

To some retention and appointed guard;

Whose age has charms in it, whose title more,

To pluck the common bosom on his side,

And turn our impress’d lances in our eyes

Which do command them. With him I sent the queen;

My reason all the same; and they are ready

Tomorrow, or at further space, to appear

Where you shall hold your session. At this time

We sweat and bleed: the friend hath lost his friend;

And the best quarrels in the heat are curs’d

By those that feel their sharpness.

The question of Cordelia and her father

Requires a fitter place.

ALBANY.

Sir, by your patience,

I hold you but a subject of this war,

Not as a brother.

REGAN.

That’s as we list to grace him.

Methinks our pleasure might have been demanded

Ere you had spoke so far. He led our powers;

Bore the commission of my place and person;

The which immediacy may well stand up

And call itself your brother.

GONERIL.

Not so hot:

In his own grace he doth exalt himself,

More than in your addition.

REGAN.

In my rights,

By me invested, he compeers the best.

ALBANY.

That were the most, if he should husband you.

REGAN.

Jesters do oft prove prophets.

GONERIL.

Holla, holla!

That eye that told you so look’d but asquint.

REGAN.

Lady, I am not well; else I should answer

From a full-flowing stomach. General,

Take thou my soldiers, prisoners, patrimony;

Dispose of them, of me; the walls are thine:

Witness the world that I create thee here

My lord and master.

GONERIL.

Mean you to enjoy him?

ALBANY.

The let-alone lies not in your good will.

EDMUND.

Nor in thine, lord.

ALBANY.

Half-blooded fellow, yes.

REGAN.

[_To Edmund._] Let the drum strike, and prove my title thine.

ALBANY.

Stay yet; hear reason: Edmund, I arrest thee

On capital treason; and, in thine arrest,

This gilded serpent. [_pointing to Goneril._]

For your claim, fair sister,

I bar it in the interest of my wife;

’Tis she is sub-contracted to this lord,

And I her husband contradict your bans.

If you will marry, make your loves to me,

My lady is bespoke.

GONERIL.

An interlude!

ALBANY.

Thou art arm’d, Gloucester. Let the trumpet sound:

If none appear to prove upon thy person

Thy heinous, manifest, and many treasons,

There is my pledge. [_Throwing down a glove._]

I’ll make it on thy heart,

Ere I taste bread, thou art in nothing less

Than I have here proclaim’d thee.

REGAN.

Sick, O, sick!

GONERIL.

[_Aside._] If not, I’ll ne’er trust medicine.

EDMUND.

There’s my exchange. [_Throwing down a glove._]

What in the world he is

That names me traitor, villain-like he lies.

Call by thy trumpet: he that dares approach,

On him, on you, who not? I will maintain

My truth and honour firmly.

ALBANY.

A herald, ho!

Enter a Herald.

Trust to thy single virtue; for thy soldiers,

All levied in my name, have in my name

Took their discharge.

REGAN.

My sickness grows upon me.

ALBANY.

She is not well. Convey her to my tent.

[_Exit Regan, led._]

Come hither, herald. Let the trumpet sound

And read out this.

OFFICER.

Sound, trumpet!

[_A trumpet sounds._]

HERALD.

[_Reads._] ‘If any man of quality or degree within the lists of

the army will maintain upon Edmund, supposed Earl of Gloucester,

that he is a manifold traitor, let him appear by the third sound

of the trumpet. He is bold in his defence.’

EDMUND.

Sound!

[_First trumpet._]

HERALD.

Again!

[_Second trumpet._]

HERALD.

Again!

Third trumpet. Trumpet answers within. Enter Edgar, armed, preceded by

a trumpet.

ALBANY.

Ask him his purposes, why he appears

Upon this call o’ the trumpet.

HERALD.

What are you?

Your name, your quality? and why you answer

This present summons?

EDGAR.

Know my name is lost;

By treason’s tooth bare-gnawn and canker-bit.

Yet am I noble as the adversary

I come to cope.

ALBANY.

Which is that adversary?

EDGAR.

What’s he that speaks for Edmund, Earl of Gloucester?

EDMUND.

Himself, what say’st thou to him?

EDGAR.

Draw thy sword,

That if my speech offend a noble heart,

Thy arm may do thee justice: here is mine.

Behold, it is the privilege of mine honours,

My oath, and my profession: I protest,

Maugre thy strength, youth, place, and eminence,

Despite thy victor sword and fire-new fortune,

Thy valour and thy heart, thou art a traitor;

False to thy gods, thy brother, and thy father;

Conspirant ’gainst this high illustrious prince;

And, from the extremest upward of thy head

To the descent and dust beneath thy foot,

A most toad-spotted traitor. Say thou ‘No,’

This sword, this arm, and my best spirits are bent

To prove upon thy heart, whereto I speak,

Thou liest.

EDMUND.

In wisdom I should ask thy name;

But since thy outside looks so fair and warlike,

And that thy tongue some say of breeding breathes,

What safe and nicely I might well delay

By rule of knighthood, I disdain and spurn.

Back do I toss those treasons to thy head,

With the hell-hated lie o’erwhelm thy heart;

Which for they yet glance by and scarcely bruise,

This sword of mine shall give them instant way,

Where they shall rest for ever. Trumpets, speak!

[_Alarums. They fight. Edmund falls._]

ALBANY.

Save him, save him!

GONERIL.

This is mere practice, Gloucester:

By the law of arms thou wast not bound to answer

An unknown opposite; thou art not vanquish’d,

But cozen’d and beguil’d.

ALBANY.

Shut your mouth, dame,

Or with this paper shall I stop it. Hold, sir;

Thou worse than any name, read thine own evil.

No tearing, lady; I perceive you know it.

[_Gives the letter to Edmund._]

GONERIL.

Say if I do, the laws are mine, not thine:

Who can arraign me for’t?

[_Exit._]

ALBANY.

Most monstrous! O!

Know’st thou this paper?

EDMUND.

Ask me not what I know.

ALBANY.

[_To an Officer, who goes out._] Go after her; she’s desperate;

govern her.

EDMUND.

What you have charg’d me with, that have I done;

And more, much more; the time will bring it out.

’Tis past, and so am I. But what art thou

That hast this fortune on me? If thou’rt noble,

I do forgive thee.

EDGAR.

Let’s exchange charity.

I am no less in blood than thou art, Edmund;

If more, the more thou hast wrong’d me.

My name is Edgar and thy father’s son.

The gods are just, and of our pleasant vices

Make instruments to plague us:

The dark and vicious place where thee he got

Cost him his eyes.

EDMUND.

Thou hast spoken right, ’tis true;

The wheel is come full circle; I am here.

ALBANY.

Methought thy very gait did prophesy

A royal nobleness. I must embrace thee.

Let sorrow split my heart if ever I

Did hate thee or thy father.

EDGAR.

Worthy prince, I know’t.

ALBANY.

Where have you hid yourself?

How have you known the miseries of your father?

EDGAR.

By nursing them, my lord. List a brief tale;

And when ’tis told, O that my heart would burst!

The bloody proclamation to escape

That follow’d me so near,—O, our lives’ sweetness!

That with the pain of death we’d hourly die

Rather than die at once!—taught me to shift

Into a madman’s rags; t’assume a semblance

That very dogs disdain’d; and in this habit

Met I my father with his bleeding rings,

Their precious stones new lost; became his guide,

Led him, begg’d for him, sav’d him from despair;

Never,—O fault!—reveal’d myself unto him

Until some half hour past, when I was arm’d;

Not sure, though hoping of this good success,

I ask’d his blessing, and from first to last

Told him my pilgrimage. But his flaw’d heart,

Alack, too weak the conflict to support!

’Twixt two extremes of passion, joy and grief,

Burst smilingly.

EDMUND.

This speech of yours hath mov’d me,

And shall perchance do good, but speak you on;

You look as you had something more to say.

ALBANY.

If there be more, more woeful, hold it in;

For I am almost ready to dissolve,

Hearing of this.

EDGAR.

This would have seem’d a period

To such as love not sorrow; but another,

To amplify too much, would make much more,

And top extremity.

Whilst I was big in clamour, came there a man

Who, having seen me in my worst estate,

Shunn’d my abhorr’d society; but then finding

Who ’twas that so endur’d, with his strong arms

He fastened on my neck, and bellow’d out

As he’d burst heaven; threw him on my father;

Told the most piteous tale of Lear and him

That ever ear receiv’d, which in recounting

His grief grew puissant, and the strings of life

Began to crack. Twice then the trumpets sounded,

And there I left him tranc’d.

ALBANY.

But who was this?

EDGAR.

Kent, sir, the banish’d Kent; who in disguise

Follow’d his enemy king and did him service

Improper for a slave.

Enter a Gentleman hastily,

with a bloody knife.

GENTLEMAN.

Help, help! O, help!

EDGAR.

What kind of help?

ALBANY.

Speak, man.

EDGAR.

What means this bloody knife?

GENTLEMAN.

’Tis hot, it smokes;

It came even from the heart of—O! she’s dead!

ALBANY.

Who dead? Speak, man.

GENTLEMAN.

Your lady, sir, your lady; and her sister

By her is poisoned; she hath confesses it.

EDMUND.

I was contracted to them both, all three

Now marry in an instant.

EDGAR.

Here comes Kent.

Enter Kent.

ALBANY.

Produce their bodies, be they alive or dead.

This judgement of the heavens that makes us tremble

Touches us not with pity. O, is this he?

The time will not allow the compliment

Which very manners urges.

KENT.

I am come

To bid my King and master aye good night:

Is he not here?

ALBANY.

Great thing of us forgot!

Speak, Edmund, where’s the King? and where’s Cordelia?

The bodies of Goneril and

Regan are brought in.

Seest thou this object, Kent?

KENT.

Alack, why thus?

EDMUND.

Yet Edmund was belov’d.

The one the other poisoned for my sake,

And after slew herself.

ALBANY.

Even so. Cover their faces.

EDMUND.

I pant for life. Some good I mean to do,

Despite of mine own nature. Quickly send,

Be brief in it, to the castle; for my writ

Is on the life of Lear and on Cordelia;

Nay, send in time.

ALBANY.

Run, run, O, run!

EDGAR.

To who, my lord? Who has the office? Send

Thy token of reprieve.

EDMUND.

Well thought on: take my sword,

Give it the captain.

EDGAR.

Haste thee for thy life.

[_Exit Edgar._]

EDMUND.

He hath commission from thy wife and me

To hang Cordelia in the prison, and

To lay the blame upon her own despair,

That she fordid herself.

ALBANY.

The gods defend her! Bear him hence awhile.

[_Edmund is borne off._]

Enter Lear with Cordelia dead in his arms; Edgar,

Officer and others following.

LEAR.

Howl, howl, howl, howl! O, you are men of stone.

Had I your tongues and eyes, I’ld use them so

That heaven’s vault should crack. She’s gone for ever!

I know when one is dead, and when one lives;

She’s dead as earth. Lend me a looking glass;

If that her breath will mist or stain the stone,

Why, then she lives.

KENT.

Is this the promis’d end?

EDGAR.

Or image of that horror?

ALBANY.

Fall, and cease!

LEAR.

This feather stirs; she lives! If it be so,

It is a chance which does redeem all sorrows

That ever I have felt.

KENT.

O, my good master! [_Kneeling._]

LEAR.

Prithee, away!

EDGAR.

’Tis noble Kent, your friend.

LEAR.

A plague upon you, murderers, traitors all!

I might have sav’d her; now she’s gone for ever!

Cordelia, Cordelia! stay a little. Ha!

What is’t thou say’st? Her voice was ever soft,

Gentle, and low, an excellent thing in woman.

I kill’d the slave that was a-hanging thee.

OFFICER.

’Tis true, my lords, he did.

LEAR.

Did I not, fellow?

I have seen the day, with my good biting falchion

I would have made them skip. I am old now,

And these same crosses spoil me. Who are you?

Mine eyes are not o’ the best, I’ll tell you straight.

KENT.

If Fortune brag of two she lov’d and hated,

One of them we behold.

LEAR.

This is a dull sight. Are you not Kent?

KENT.

The same,

Your servant Kent. Where is your servant Caius?

LEAR.

He’s a good fellow, I can tell you that;

He’ll strike, and quickly too:. He’s dead and rotten.

KENT.

No, my good lord; I am the very man.

LEAR.

I’ll see that straight.

KENT.

That from your first of difference and decay

Have follow’d your sad steps.

LEAR.

You are welcome hither.

KENT.

Nor no man else. All’s cheerless, dark and deadly.

Your eldest daughters have fordone themselves,

And desperately are dead.

LEAR.

Ay, so I think.

ALBANY.

He knows not what he says; and vain is it

That we present us to him.

EDGAR.

Very bootless.

Enter an Officer.

OFFICER.

Edmund is dead, my lord.

ALBANY.

That’s but a trifle here.

You lords and noble friends, know our intent.

What comfort to this great decay may come

Shall be applied. For us, we will resign,

During the life of this old majesty,

To him our absolute power;

[_to Edgar and Kent_] you to your rights;

With boot and such addition as your honours

Have more than merited. All friends shall taste

The wages of their virtue and all foes

The cup of their deservings. O, see, see!

LEAR.

And my poor fool is hang’d! No, no, no life!

Why should a dog, a horse, a rat have life,

And thou no breath at all? Thou’lt come no more,

Never, never, never, never, never!

Pray you undo this button. Thank you, sir.

Do you see this? Look on her: look, her lips,

Look there, look there!

[_He dies._]

EDGAR.

He faints! My lord, my lord!

KENT.

Break, heart; I prithee break!

EDGAR.

Look up, my lord.

KENT.

Vex not his ghost: O, let him pass! He hates him

That would upon the rack of this rough world

Stretch him out longer.

EDGAR.

He is gone indeed.

KENT.

The wonder is, he hath endur’d so long:

He but usurp’d his life.

ALBANY.

Bear them from hence. Our present business

Is general woe. [_To Edgar and Kent._] Friends of my soul, you twain,

Rule in this realm and the gor’d state sustain.

KENT.

I have a journey, sir, shortly to go;

My master calls me, I must not say no.

EDGAR.

The weight of this sad time we must obey;

Speak what we feel, not what we ought to say.

The oldest hath borne most; we that are young

Shall never see so much, nor live so long.

[_Exeunt with a dead march._]

LOVE’S LABOUR’S LOST

Contents

ACT I

Scene I. The King of Navarre’s park

Scene II. The park

ACT II

Scene I. The King of Navarre’s park. A pavilion and tents at a distance

ACT III

Scene I. The King of Navarre’s park

ACT IV

Scene I. The King of Navarre’s park

Scene II. The same

Scene III. The same

ACT V

Scene I. The King of Navarre’s park

Scene II. The same. Before the Princess’s pavilion

Dramatis Personæ

KING of Navarre, also known as Ferdinand

BEROWNE, Lord attending on the King

LONGAVILLE, Lord attending on the King

DUMAINE, Lord attending on the King

The PRINCESS of France

ROSALINE, Lady attending on the Princess

MARIA, Lady attending on the Princess

KATHARINE, Lady attending on the Princess

BOYET, Lord attending on the Princess

Don Adriano de ARMADO, a fantastical Spaniard

MOTH, Page to Armado

JAQUENETTA, a country wench

COSTARD, a Clown

DULL, a Constable

HOLOFERNES, a Schoolmaster

Sir NATHANIEL, a Curate

A FORESTER

MARCADÉ, a messenger from France

Lords, Blackamoors, Officers and Others, Attendants on the King and

Princess.

SCENE: Navarre

ACT I

SCENE I. The King of Navarre’s park

Enter Ferdinand, King of Navarre, Berowne, Longaville and Dumaine.

KING.

Let fame, that all hunt after in their lives,

Live registered upon our brazen tombs,

And then grace us in the disgrace of death;

When, spite of cormorant devouring time,

Th’ endeavour of this present breath may buy

That honour which shall bate his scythe’s keen edge,

And make us heirs of all eternity.

Therefore, brave conquerors, for so you are

That war against your own affections

And the huge army of the world’s desires,

Our late edict shall strongly stand in force.

Navarre shall be the wonder of the world;

Our court shall be a little academe,

Still and contemplative in living art.

You three, Berowne, Dumaine and Longaville,

Have sworn for three years’ term to live with me,

My fellow-scholars, and to keep those statutes

That are recorded in this schedule here.

Your oaths are passed, and now subscribe your names,

That his own hand may strike his honour down

That violates the smallest branch herein.

If you are armed to do as sworn to do,

Subscribe to your deep oaths, and keep it too.

LONGAVILLE.

I am resolved. ’Tis but a three years’ fast.

The mind shall banquet, though the body pine.

Fat paunches have lean pates, and dainty bits

Make rich the ribs, but bankrupt quite the wits.

[_He signs._]

DUMAINE.

My loving lord, Dumaine is mortified.

The grosser manner of these world’s delights

He throws upon the gross world’s baser slaves.

To love, to wealth, to pomp, I pine and die,

With all these living in philosophy.

[_He signs._]

BEROWNE.

I can but say their protestation over.

So much, dear liege, I have already sworn,

That is, to live and study here three years.

But there are other strict observances:

As not to see a woman in that term,

Which I hope well is not enrolled there;

And one day in a week to touch no food,

And but one meal on every day beside,

The which I hope is not enrolled there;

And then to sleep but three hours in the night,

And not be seen to wink of all the day,

When I was wont to think no harm all night,

And make a dark night too of half the day,

Which I hope well is not enrolled there.

O, these are barren tasks, too hard to keep,

Not to see ladies, study, fast, not sleep.

KING.

Your oath is passed to pass away from these.

BEROWNE.

Let me say no, my liege, an if you please.

I only swore to study with your Grace

And stay here in your court for three years’ space.

LONGAVILLE.

You swore to that, Berowne, and to the rest.

BEROWNE.

By yea and nay, sir, then I swore in jest.

What is the end of study, let me know?

KING.

Why, that to know which else we should not know.

BEROWNE.

Things hid and barred, you mean, from common sense?

KING.

Ay, that is study’s god-like recompense.

BEROWNE.

Come on, then, I will swear to study so,

To know the thing I am forbid to know:

As thus, to study where I well may dine,

When I to feast expressly am forbid;

Or study where to meet some mistress fine,

When mistresses from common sense are hid;

Or, having sworn too hard-a-keeping oath,

Study to break it, and not break my troth.

If study’s gain be thus, and this be so,

Study knows that which yet it doth not know.

Swear me to this, and I will ne’er say no.

KING.

These be the stops that hinder study quite,

And train our intellects to vain delight.

BEROWNE.

Why, all delights are vain, but that most vain

Which, with pain purchased, doth inherit pain:

As painfully to pore upon a book

To seek the light of truth, while truth the while

Doth falsely blind the eyesight of his look.

Light seeking light doth light of light beguile;

So, ere you find where light in darkness lies,

Your light grows dark by losing of your eyes.

Study me how to please the eye indeed

By fixing it upon a fairer eye,

Who dazzling so, that eye shall be his heed,

And give him light that it was blinded by.

Study is like the heaven’s glorious sun,

That will not be deep-searched with saucy looks;

Small have continual plodders ever won,

Save base authority from others’ books.

These earthly godfathers of heaven’s lights,

That give a name to every fixed star,

Have no more profit of their shining nights

Than those that walk and wot not what they are.

Too much to know is to know naught but fame,

And every godfather can give a name.

KING.

How well he’s read, to reason against reading.

DUMAINE.

Proceeded well, to stop all good proceeding.

LONGAVILLE.

He weeds the corn, and still lets grow the weeding.

BEROWNE.

The spring is near when green geese are a-breeding.

DUMAINE.

How follows that?

BEROWNE.

Fit in his place and time.

DUMAINE.

In reason nothing.

BEROWNE.

Something then in rhyme.

LONGAVILLE.

Berowne is like an envious sneaping frost

That bites the first-born infants of the spring.

BEROWNE.

Well, say I am. Why should proud summer boast

Before the birds have any cause to sing?

Why should I joy in any abortive birth?

At Christmas I no more desire a rose

Than wish a snow in May’s new-fangled shows,

But like of each thing that in season grows.

So you, to study now it is too late,

Climb o’er the house to unlock the little gate.

KING.

Well, sit you out. Go home, Berowne. Adieu.

BEROWNE.

No, my good lord, I have sworn to stay with you,

And though I have for barbarism spoke more

Than for that angel knowledge you can say,

Yet confident I’ll keep what I have sworn

And bide the penance of each three years’ day.

Give me the paper, let me read the same,

And to the strictest decrees I’ll write my name.

KING.

How well this yielding rescues thee from shame.

BEROWNE.

[_Reads_.] _Item, That no woman shall come within a mile of my court._

Hath this been proclaimed?

LONGAVILLE.

Four days ago.

BEROWNE.

Let’s see the penalty. [_Reads_.] _On pain of losing her tongue._ Who

devised this penalty?

LONGAVILLE.

Marry, that did I.

BEROWNE.

Sweet lord, and why?

LONGAVILLE.

To fright them hence with that dread penalty.

BEROWNE.

A dangerous law against gentility.

[_Reads_.] _Item, If any man be seen to talk with a woman within the

term of three years, he shall endure such public shame as the rest of

the court can possibly devise._

This article, my liege, yourself must break,

For well you know here comes in embassy

The French King’s daughter, with yourself to speak—

A mild of grace and complete majesty—

About surrender up of Aquitaine

To her decrepit, sick, and bedrid father.

Therefore this article is made in vain,

Or vainly comes th’ admired Princess hither.

KING.

What say you, lords? Why, this was quite forgot.

BEROWNE.

So study evermore is overshot.

While it doth study to have what it would,

It doth forget to do the thing it should;

And when it hath the thing it hunteth most,

’Tis won as towns with fire: so won, so lost.

KING.

We must of force dispense with this decree.

She must lie here on mere necessity.

BEROWNE.

Necessity will make us all forsworn

Three thousand times within this three years’ space;

For every man with his affects is born,

Not by might mastered, but by special grace.

If I break faith, this word shall speak for me:

I am forsworn on mere necessity.

So to the laws at large I write my name,

And he that breaks them in the least degree

Stands in attainder of eternal shame.

Suggestions are to other as to me;

But I believe, although I seem so loath,

I am the last that will last keep his oath.

[_He signs._]

But is there no quick recreation granted?

KING.

Ay, that there is. Our court, you know, is haunted

With a refined traveller of Spain,

A man in all the world’s new fashion planted,

That hath a mint of phrases in his brain;

One who the music of his own vain tongue

Doth ravish like enchanting harmony,

A man of complements, whom right and wrong

Have chose as umpire of their mutiny.

This child of fancy, that Armado hight,

For interim to our studies shall relate

In high-born words the worth of many a knight

From tawny Spain lost in the world’s debate.

How you delight, my lords, I know not, I,

But I protest I love to hear him lie,

And I will use him for my minstrelsy.

BEROWNE.

Armado is a most illustrious wight,

A man of fire-new words, fashion’s own knight.

LONGAVILLE.

Costard the swain and he shall be our sport,

And so to study three years is but short.

Enter Dull, a Constable, with a letter, and Costard.

DULL.

Which is the Duke’s own person?

BEROWNE.

This, fellow. What wouldst?

DULL.

I myself reprehend his own person, for I am his Grace’s farborough. But

I would see his own person in flesh and blood.

BEROWNE.

This is he.

DULL.

Signior Arm… Arm… commends you. There’s villainy abroad. This letter

will tell you more.

COSTARD.

Sir, the contempts thereof are as touching me.

KING.

A letter from the magnificent Armado.

BEROWNE.

How long soever the matter, I hope in God for high words.

LONGAVILLE.

A high hope for a low heaven. God grant us patience!

BEROWNE.

To hear, or forbear laughing?

LONGAVILLE.

To hear meekly, sir, and to laugh moderately, or to forbear both.

BEROWNE.

Well, sir, be it as the style shall give us cause to climb in the

merriness.

COSTARD.

The matter is to me, sir, as concerning Jaquenetta. The manner of it

is, I was taken with the manner.

BEROWNE.

In what manner?

COSTARD.

In manner and form following, sir, all those three. I was seen with her

in the manor-house, sitting with her upon the form, and taken following

her into the park, which, put together, is “in manner and form

following”. Now, sir, for the manner. It is the manner of a man to

speak to a woman. For the form—in some form.

BEROWNE.

For the “following”, sir?

COSTARD.

As it shall follow in my correction, and God defend the right!

KING.

Will you hear this letter with attention?

BEROWNE.

As we would hear an oracle.

COSTARD.

Such is the simplicity of man to hearken after the flesh.

KING.

[_Reads_.] _Great deputy, the welkin’s vicegerent and sole dominator of

Navarre, my soul’s earth’s god and body’s fostering patron—_

COSTARD.

Not a word of Costard yet.

KING.

[_Reads_.] _So it is—_

COSTARD.

It may be so; but if he say it is so, he is, in telling true, but so.

KING.

Peace!

COSTARD.

Be to me, and every man that dares not fight.

KING.

No words!

COSTARD.

Of other men’s secrets, I beseech you.

KING.

[_Reads_.] _So it is, besieged with sable-coloured melancholy, I did

commend the black-oppressing humour to the most wholesome physic of thy

health-giving air; and, as I am a gentleman, betook myself to walk. The

time when? About the sixth hour, when beasts most graze, birds best

peck, and men sit down to that nourishment which is called supper. So

much for the time when. Now for the ground which? Which, I mean, I

walked upon. It is ycleped thy park. Then for the place, where? Where,

I mean, I did encounter that obscene and most preposterous event that

draweth from my snow-white pen the ebon-coloured ink, which here thou

viewest, beholdest, surveyest, or seest. But to the place where? It

standeth north-north-east and by east from the west corner of thy

curious-knotted garden. There did I see that low-spirited swain, that

base minnow of thy mirth—_

COSTARD.

Me?

KING.

[_Reads_.] _That unlettered small-knowing soul—_

COSTARD.

Me?

KING.

[_Reads_.] _That shallow vassal—_

COSTARD.

Still me?

KING.

[_Reads_.] _Which, as I remember, hight Costard—_

COSTARD.

O me!

KING.

[_Reads_.] _Sorted and consorted, contrary to thy established

proclaimed edict and continent canon, which with, O, with—but with this

I passion to say wherewith—_

COSTARD.

With a wench.

KING.

[_Reads_.] _With a child of our grandmother Eve, a female; or, for thy

more sweet understanding, a woman. Him, I, as my ever-esteemed duty

pricks me on, have sent to thee, to receive the meed of punishment, by

thy sweet Grace’s officer, Antony Dull, a man of good repute, carriage,

bearing, and estimation._

DULL.

Me, an’t shall please you; I am Antony Dull.

KING.

[_Reads_.] _For Jaquenetta, so is the weaker vessel called which I

apprehended with the aforesaid swain, I keep her as a vessel of thy

law’s fury, and shall, at the least of thy sweet notice, bring her to

trial. Thine, in all compliments of devoted and heartburning heat of

duty,

Don Adriano de Armado._

BEROWNE.

This is not so well as I looked for, but the best that ever I heard.

KING.

Ay, the best for the worst. But, sirrah, what say you to this?

COSTARD.

Sir, I confess the wench.

KING.

Did you hear the proclamation?

COSTARD.

I do confess much of the hearing it, but little of the marking of it.

KING.

It was proclaimed a year’s imprisonment to be taken with a wench.

COSTARD.

I was taken with none, sir. I was taken with a damsel.

KING.

Well, it was proclaimed “damsel”.

COSTARD.

This was no damsel neither, sir; she was a virgin.

KING.

It is so varied too, for it was proclaimed “virgin”.

COSTARD.

If it were, I deny her virginity. I was taken with a maid.

KING.

This maid will not serve your turn, sir.

COSTARD.

This maid will serve my turn, sir.

KING.

Sir, I will pronounce your sentence: you shall fast a week with bran

and water.

COSTARD.

I had rather pray a month with mutton and porridge.

KING.

And Don Armado shall be your keeper.

My Lord Berowne, see him delivered o’er;

And go we, lords, to put in practice that

Which each to other hath so strongly sworn.

[_Exeunt King, Longaville and Dumaine._]

BEROWNE.

I’ll lay my head to any good man’s hat

These oaths and laws will prove an idle scorn.

Sirrah, come on.

COSTARD.

I suffer for the truth, sir; for true it is I was taken with

Jaquenetta, and Jaquenetta is a true girl. And therefore welcome the

sour cup of prosperity! Affliction may one day smile again, and till

then, sit thee down, sorrow.

[_Exeunt._]

SCENE II. The park

Enter Armado and Moth, his Page.

ARMADO.

Boy, what sign is it when a man of great spirit grows melancholy?

MOTH.

A great sign, sir, that he will look sad.

ARMADO.

Why, sadness is one and the selfsame thing, dear imp.

MOTH.

No, no, O Lord, sir, no.

ARMADO.

How canst thou part sadness and melancholy, my tender juvenal?

MOTH.

By a familiar demonstration of the working, my tough signior.

ARMADO.

Why tough signior? Why tough signior?

MOTH.

Why tender juvenal? Why tender juvenal?

ARMADO.

I spoke it, tender juvenal, as a congruent epitheton appertaining to

thy young days, which we may nominate tender.

MOTH.

And I, tough signior, as an appertinent title to your old time, which

we may name tough.

ARMADO.

Pretty and apt.

MOTH.

How mean you, sir? I pretty and my saying apt, or I apt, and my saying

pretty?

ARMADO.

Thou pretty, because little.

MOTH.

Little pretty, because little. Wherefore apt?

ARMADO.

And therefore apt, because quick.

MOTH.

Speak you this in my praise, master?

ARMADO.

In thy condign praise.

MOTH.

I will praise an eel with the same praise.

ARMADO.

What, that an eel is ingenious?

MOTH.

That an eel is quick.

ARMADO.

I do say thou art quick in answers. Thou heat’st my blood.

MOTH.

I am answered, sir.

ARMADO.

I love not to be crossed.

MOTH.

[_Aside_.] He speaks the mere contrary; crosses love not him.

ARMADO.

I have promised to study three years with the Duke.

MOTH.

You may do it in an hour, sir.

ARMADO.

Impossible.

MOTH.

How many is one thrice told?

ARMADO.

I am ill at reckoning. It fitteth the spirit of a tapster.

MOTH.

You are a gentleman and a gamester, sir.

ARMADO.

I confess both. They are both the varnish of a complete man.

MOTH.

Then I am sure you know how much the gross sum of deuce-ace amounts to.

ARMADO.

It doth amount to one more than two.

MOTH.

Which the base vulgar do call three.

ARMADO.

True.

MOTH.

Why, sir, is this such a piece of study? Now here’s three studied ere

ye’ll thrice wink. And how easy it is to put “years” to the word

“three”, and study three years in two words, the dancing horse will

tell you.

ARMADO.

A most fine figure!

MOTH.

[_Aside_.] To prove you a cipher.

ARMADO.

I will hereupon confess I am in love; and as it is base for a soldier

to love, so am I in love with a base wench. If drawing my sword against

the humour of affection would deliver me from the reprobate thought of

it, I would take desire prisoner, and ransom him to any French courtier

for a new-devised curtsy. I think scorn to sigh; methinks I should

outswear Cupid. Comfort me, boy. What great men have been in love?

MOTH.

Hercules, master.

ARMADO.

Most sweet Hercules! More authority, dear boy, name more; and, sweet my

child, let them be men of good repute and carriage.

MOTH.

Samson, master. He was a man of good carriage, great carriage, for he

carried the town gates on his back like a porter, and he was in love.

ARMADO.

O well-knit Samson, strong-jointed Samson! I do excel thee in my rapier

as much as thou didst me in carrying gates. I am in love too. Who was

Samson’s love, my dear Moth?

MOTH.

A woman, master.

ARMADO.

Of what complexion?

MOTH.

Of all the four, or the three, or the two, or one of the four.

ARMADO.

Tell me precisely of what complexion.

MOTH.

Of the sea-water green, sir.

ARMADO.

Is that one of the four complexions?

MOTH.

As I have read, sir; and the best of them too.

ARMADO.

Green indeed is the colour of lovers. But to have a love of that

colour, methinks Samson had small reason for it. He surely affected her

for her wit.

MOTH.

It was so, sir, for she had a green wit.

ARMADO.

My love is most immaculate white and red.

MOTH.

Most maculate thoughts, master, are masked under such colours.

ARMADO.

Define, define, well-educated infant.

MOTH.

My father’s wit and my mother’s tongue assist me!

ARMADO.

Sweet invocation of a child, most pretty, and pathetical!

MOTH.

If she be made of white and red,

Her faults will ne’er be known;

For blushing cheeks by faults are bred,

And fears by pale white shown.

Then if she fear, or be to blame,

By this you shall not know,

For still her cheeks possess the same

Which native she doth owe.

A dangerous rhyme, master, against the reason of white and red.

ARMADO.

Is there not a ballad, boy, of the King and the Beggar?

MOTH.

The world was very guilty of such a ballad some three ages since, but I

think now ’tis not to be found; or if it were, it would neither serve

for the writing nor the tune.

ARMADO.

I will have that subject newly writ o’er, that I may example my

digression by some mighty precedent. Boy, I do love that country girl

that I took in the park with the rational hind Costard. She deserves

well.

MOTH.

[_Aside_.] To be whipped: and yet a better love than my master.

ARMADO.

Sing, boy. My spirit grows heavy in love.

MOTH.

And that’s great marvel, loving a light wench.

ARMADO.

I say, sing.

MOTH.

Forbear till this company be past.

Enter Costard the Clown, Dull the Constable and Jaquenetta a Wench.

DULL.

Sir, the Duke’s pleasure is that you keep Costard safe; and you must

suffer him to take no delight, nor no penance, but he must fast three

days a week. For this damsel, I must keep her at the park. She is

allowed for the dey-woman. Fare you well.

ARMADO.

I do betray myself with blushing.—Maid.

JAQUENETTA.

Man.

ARMADO.

I will visit thee at the lodge.

JAQUENETTA.

That’s hereby.

ARMADO.

I know where it is situate.

JAQUENETTA.

Lord, how wise you are!

ARMADO.

I will tell thee wonders.

JAQUENETTA.

With that face?

ARMADO.

I love thee.

JAQUENETTA.

So I heard you say.

ARMADO.

And so, farewell.

JAQUENETTA.

Fair weather after you!

DULL.

Come, Jaquenetta, away.

[_Exeunt Dull and Jaquenetta._]

ARMADO.

Villain, thou shalt fast for thy offences ere thou be pardoned.

COSTARD.

Well, sir, I hope when I do it I shall do it on a full stomach.

ARMADO.

Thou shalt be heavily punished.

COSTARD.

I am more bound to you than your fellows, for they are but lightly

rewarded.

ARMADO.

Take away this villain. Shut him up.

MOTH.

Come, you transgressing slave, away!

COSTARD.

Let me not be pent up, sir. I will fast being loose.

MOTH.

No, sir, that were fast and loose. Thou shalt to prison.

COSTARD.

Well, if ever I do see the merry days of desolation that I have seen,

some shall see.

MOTH.

What shall some see?

COSTARD.

Nay, nothing, Master Moth, but what they look upon. It is not for

prisoners to be too silent in their words, and therefore I will say

nothing. I thank God I have as little patience as another man, and

therefore I can be quiet.

[_Exeunt Moth and Costard._]

ARMADO.

I do affect the very ground, which is base, where her shoe, which is

baser, guided by her foot, which is basest, doth tread. I shall be

forsworn, which is a great argument of falsehood, if I love. And how

can that be true love which is falsely attempted? Love is a familiar;

Love is a devil. There is no evil angel but Love. Yet was Samson so

tempted, and he had an excellent strength; yet was Solomon so seduced,

and he had a very good wit. Cupid’s butt-shaft is too hard for

Hercules’ club, and therefore too much odds for a Spaniard’s rapier.

The first and second cause will not serve my turn; the _passado_ he

respects not, the _duello_ he regards not. His disgrace is to be called

boy, but his glory is to subdue men. Adieu, valour; rust, rapier; be

still, drum, for your manager is in love. Yea, he loveth. Assist me,

some extemporal god of rhyme, for I am sure I shall turn sonnet.

Devise, wit; write, pen; for I am for whole volumes in folio.

[_Exit._]

ACT II

SCENE I. The King of Navarre’s park. A pavilion and tents at a distance

Enter the Princess of France, with three attending Ladies: Rosaline,

Maria, Katharine and three Lords: Boyet, and two others.

BOYET.

Now, madam, summon up your dearest spirits.

Consider who the King your father sends,

To whom he sends, and what’s his embassy.

Yourself, held precious in the world’s esteem,

To parley with the sole inheritor

Of all perfections that a man may owe,

Matchless Navarre; the plea of no less weight

Than Aquitaine, a dowry for a queen.

Be now as prodigal of all dear grace

As Nature was in making graces dear

When she did starve the general world beside

And prodigally gave them all to you.

PRINCESS.

Good Lord Boyet, my beauty, though but mean,

Needs not the painted flourish of your praise.

Beauty is bought by judgement of the eye,

Not uttered by base sale of chapmen’s tongues.

I am less proud to hear you tell my worth

Than you much willing to be counted wise

In spending your wit in the praise of mine.

But now to task the tasker: good Boyet,

You are not ignorant, all-telling fame

Doth noise abroad Navarre hath made a vow,

Till painful study shall outwear three years,

No woman may approach his silent court.

Therefore to’s seemeth it a needful course,

Before we enter his forbidden gates,

To know his pleasure; and in that behalf,

Bold of your worthiness, we single you

As our best-moving fair solicitor.

Tell him the daughter of the King of France,

On serious business craving quick dispatch,

Importunes personal conference with his Grace.

Haste, signify so much, while we attend,

Like humble-visaged suitors, his high will.

BOYET.

Proud of employment, willingly I go.

PRINCESS.

All pride is willing pride, and yours is so.

[_Exit Boyet._]

Who are the votaries, my loving lords,

That are vow-fellows with this virtuous Duke?

LORD.

Lord Longaville is one.

PRINCESS.

Know you the man?

MARIA.

I know him, madam. At a marriage feast

Between Lord Perigort and the beauteous heir

Of Jaques Falconbridge, solemnized

In Normandy, saw I this Longaville.

A man of sovereign parts, he is esteemed,

Well fitted in arts, glorious in arms.

Nothing becomes him ill that he would well.

The only soil of his fair virtue’s gloss,

If virtue’s gloss will stain with any soil,

Is a sharp wit matched with too blunt a will,

Whose edge hath power to cut, whose will still wills

It should none spare that come within his power.

PRINCESS.

Some merry mocking lord, belike. Is’t so?

MARIA.

They say so most that most his humours know.

PRINCESS.

Such short-lived wits do wither as they grow.

Who are the rest?

KATHARINE.

The young Dumaine, a well-accomplished youth,

Of all that virtue love for virtue loved;

Most power to do most harm, least knowing ill,

For he hath wit to make an ill shape good,

And shape to win grace though he had no wit.

I saw him at the Duke Alençon’s once;

And much too little of that good I saw

Is my report to his great worthiness.

ROSALINE.

Another of these students at that time

Was there with him, if I have heard a truth.

Berowne they call him, but a merrier man,

Within the limit of becoming mirth,

I never spent an hour’s talk withal.

His eye begets occasion for his wit,

For every object that the one doth catch

The other turns to a mirth-moving jest,

Which his fair tongue, conceit’s expositor,

Delivers in such apt and gracious words

That aged ears play truant at his tales,

And younger hearings are quite ravished,

So sweet and voluble is his discourse.

PRINCESS.

God bless my ladies! Are they all in love,

That every one her own hath garnished

With such bedecking ornaments of praise?

LORD.

Here comes Boyet.

Enter Boyet.

PRINCESS.

Now, what admittance, lord?

BOYET.

Navarre had notice of your fair approach,

And he and his competitors in oath

Were all addressed to meet you, gentle lady,

Before I came. Marry, thus much I have learned:

He rather means to lodge you in the field,

Like one that comes here to besiege his court,

Than seek a dispensation for his oath,

To let you enter his unpeopled house.

Enter King of Navarre, Longaville, Dumaine, Berowne and Attendants.

Here comes Navarre.

KING.

Fair Princess, welcome to the court of Navarre.

PRINCESS.

“Fair” I give you back again, and “welcome” I have not yet. The roof of

this court is too high to be yours, and welcome to the wide fields too

base to be mine.

KING.

You shall be welcome, madam, to my court.

PRINCESS.

I will be welcome then. Conduct me thither.

KING.

Hear me, dear lady. I have sworn an oath.

PRINCESS.

Our Lady help my lord! He’ll be forsworn.

KING.

Not for the world, fair madam, by my will.

PRINCESS.

Why, will shall break it; will, and nothing else.

KING.

Your ladyship is ignorant what it is.

PRINCESS.

Were my lord so, his ignorance were wise,

Where now his knowledge must prove ignorance.

I hear your Grace hath sworn out housekeeping.

’Tis deadly sin to keep that oath, my lord,

And sin to break it.

But pardon me, I am too sudden bold.

To teach a teacher ill beseemeth me.

Vouchsafe to read the purpose of my coming,

And suddenly resolve me in my suit.

[_She gives him a paper._]

KING.

Madam, I will, if suddenly I may.

PRINCESS.

You will the sooner that I were away,

For you’ll prove perjured if you make me stay.

[_The King reads the paper._]

BEROWNE.

[_To Rosaline_.] Did not I dance with you in Brabant once?

ROSALINE.

Did not I dance with you in Brabant once?

BEROWNE.

I know you did.

ROSALINE.

How needless was it then

To ask the question!

BEROWNE.

You must not be so quick.

ROSALINE.

’Tis long of you that spur me with such questions.

BEROWNE.

Your wit’s too hot, it speeds too fast, ’twill tire.

ROSALINE.

Not till it leave the rider in the mire.

BEROWNE.

What time o’ day?

ROSALINE.

The hour that fools should ask.

BEROWNE.

Now fair befall your mask.

ROSALINE.

Fair fall the face it covers.

BEROWNE.

And send you many lovers!

ROSALINE.

Amen, so you be none.

BEROWNE.

Nay, then will I be gone.

KING.

Madam, your father here doth intimate

The payment of a hundred thousand crowns,

Being but the one half of an entire sum

Disbursed by my father in his wars.

But say that he or we, as neither have,

Received that sum, yet there remains unpaid

A hundred thousand more, in surety of the which

One part of Aquitaine is bound to us,

Although not valued to the money’s worth.

If then the King your father will restore

But that one half which is unsatisfied,

We will give up our right in Aquitaine,

And hold fair friendship with his majesty.

But that, it seems, he little purposeth;

For here he doth demand to have repaid

A hundred thousand crowns, and not demands,

On payment of a hundred thousand crowns,

To have his title live in Aquitaine,

Which we much rather had depart withal,

And have the money by our father lent,

Than Aquitaine, so gelded as it is.

Dear Princess, were not his requests so far

From reason’s yielding, your fair self should make

A yielding ’gainst some reason in my breast,

And go well satisfied to France again.

PRINCESS.

You do the King my father too much wrong,

And wrong the reputation of your name,

In so unseeming to confess receipt

Of that which hath so faithfully been paid.

KING.

I do protest I never heard of it;

And, if you prove it, I’ll repay it back

Or yield up Aquitaine.

PRINCESS.

We arrest your word.

Boyet, you can produce acquittances

For such a sum from special officers

Of Charles his father.

KING.

Satisfy me so.

BOYET.

So please your Grace, the packet is not come

Where that and other specialties are bound.

Tomorrow you shall have a sight of them.

KING.

It shall suffice me; at which interview

All liberal reason I will yield unto.

Meantime receive such welcome at my hand

As honour, without breach of honour, may

Make tender of to thy true worthiness.

You may not come, fair Princess, in my gates,

But here without you shall be so received

As you shall deem yourself lodged in my heart,

Though so denied fair harbour in my house.

Your own good thoughts excuse me, and farewell.

Tomorrow shall we visit you again.

PRINCESS.

Sweet health and fair desires consort your Grace.

KING.

Thy own wish wish I thee in every place.

[_Exeunt the King, Longaville and Dumaine._]

BEROWNE.

Lady, I will commend you to mine own heart.

ROSALINE.

Pray you, do my commendations; I would be glad to see it.

BEROWNE.

I would you heard it groan.

ROSALINE.

Is the fool sick?

BEROWNE.

Sick at the heart.

ROSALINE.

Alack, let it blood.

BEROWNE.

Would that do it good?

ROSALINE.

My physic says “ay”.

BEROWNE.

Will you prick’t with your eye?

ROSALINE.

_Non point_, with my knife.

BEROWNE.

Now, God save thy life.

ROSALINE.

And yours from long living.

BEROWNE.

I cannot stay thanksgiving.

[_He exits._]

Enter Dumaine.

DUMAINE.

Sir, I pray you, a word. What lady is that same?

BOYET.

The heir of Alençon, Katharine her name.

DUMAINE.

A gallant lady. Monsieur, fare you well.

[_He exits._]

Enter Longaville.

LONGAVILLE.

I beseech you a word. What is she in the white?

BOYET.

A woman sometimes, an you saw her in the light.

LONGAVILLE.

Perchance light in the light. I desire her name.

BOYET.

She hath but one for herself; to desire that were a shame.

LONGAVILLE.

Pray you, sir, whose daughter?

BOYET.

Her mother’s, I have heard.

LONGAVILLE.

God’s blessing on your beard!

BOYET.

Good sir, be not offended.

She is an heir of Falconbridge.

LONGAVILLE.

Nay, my choler is ended.

She is a most sweet lady.

BOYET.

Not unlike, sir; that may be.

[_Exit Longaville._]

Enter Berowne.

BEROWNE.

What’s her name in the cap?

BOYET.

Rosaline, by good hap.

BEROWNE.

Is she wedded or no?

BOYET.

To her will, sir, or so.

BEROWNE.

You are welcome, sir. Adieu.

BOYET.

Farewell to me, sir, and welcome to you.

[_Exit Berowne._]

MARIA.

That last is Berowne, the merry madcap lord.

Not a word with him but a jest.

BOYET.

And every jest but a word.

PRINCESS.

It was well done of you to take him at his word.

BOYET.

I was as willing to grapple as he was to board.

KATHARINE.

Two hot sheeps, marry!

BOYET.

And wherefore not ships?

No sheep, sweet lamb, unless we feed on your lips.

KATHARINE.

You sheep and I pasture. Shall that finish the jest?

BOYET.

So you grant pasture for me.

[_He tries to kiss her._]

KATHARINE.

Not so, gentle beast.

My lips are no common, though several they be.

BOYET.

Belonging to whom?

KATHARINE.

To my fortunes and me.

PRINCESS.

Good wits will be jangling; but, gentles, agree.

This civil war of wits were much better used

On Navarre and his bookmen, for here ’tis abused.

BOYET.

If my observation, which very seldom lies,

By the heart’s still rhetoric disclosed with eyes,

Deceive me not now, Navarre is infected.

PRINCESS.

With what?

BOYET.

With that which we lovers entitle “affected”.

PRINCESS.

Your reason.

BOYET.

Why, all his behaviours did make their retire

To the court of his eye, peeping thorough desire.

His heart, like an agate, with your print impressed,

Proud with his form, in his eye pride expressed.

His tongue, all impatient to speak and not see,

Did stumble with haste in his eyesight to be;

All senses to that sense did make their repair,

To feel only looking on fairest of fair.

Methought all his senses were locked in his eye,

As jewels in crystal for some prince to buy;

Who, tend’ring their own worth from where they were glassed,

Did point you to buy them, along as you passed.

His face’s own margent did quote such amazes

That all eyes saw his eyes enchanted with gazes.

I’ll give you Aquitaine, and all that is his,

An you give him for my sake but one loving kiss.

PRINCESS.

Come, to our pavilion. Boyet is disposed.

BOYET.

But to speak that in words which his eye hath disclosed.

I only have made a mouth of his eye

By adding a tongue which I know will not lie.

ROSALINE.

Thou art an old love-monger, and speakest skilfully.

MARIA.

He is Cupid’s grandfather, and learns news of him.

ROSALINE.

Then was Venus like her mother; for her father is but grim.

BOYET.

Do you hear, my mad wenches?

MARIA.

No.

BOYET.

What, then, do you see?

ROSALINE.

Ay, our way to be gone.

BOYET.

You are too hard for me.

[_Exeunt._]

ACT III

SCENE I. The King of Navarre’s park

Enter Armado the Braggart and Moth his Boy.

ARMADO.

Warble, child, make passionate my sense of hearing.

MOTH.

[_Singing_.]

Concolinel.

ARMADO.

Sweet air! Go, tenderness of years, take this key, give enlargement to

the swain, bring him festinately hither. I must employ him in a letter

to my love.

MOTH.

Master, will you win your love with a French brawl?

ARMADO.

How meanest thou? Brawling in French?

MOTH.

No, my complete master; but to jig off a tune at the tongue’s end,

canary to it with your feet, humour it with turning up your eyelids,

sigh a note and sing a note, sometime through the throat, as if you

swallowed love with singing love, sometime through the nose, as if you

snuffed up love by smelling love; with your hat penthouse-like o’er the

shop of your eyes, with your arms crossed on your thin-belly doublet

like a rabbit on a spit; or your hands in your pocket like a man after

the old painting; and keep not too long in one tune, but a snip and

away. These are compliments, these are humours; these betray nice

wenches that would be betrayed without these; and make them men of

note—do you note me?—that most are affected to these.

ARMADO.

How hast thou purchased this experience?

MOTH.

By my penny of observation.

ARMADO.

But O—but O—

MOTH.

“The hobby-horse is forgot.”

ARMADO.

Call’st thou my love “hobby-horse”?

MOTH.

No, master. The hobby-horse is but a colt, and your love perhaps a

hackney. But have you forgot your love?

ARMADO.

Almost I had.

MOTH.

Negligent student! Learn her by heart.

ARMADO.

By heart and in heart, boy.

MOTH.

And out of heart, master. All those three I will prove.

ARMADO.

What wilt thou prove?

MOTH.

A man, if I live; and this, “by, in, and without,” upon the instant:

“by” heart you love her, because your heart cannot come by her; “in”

heart you love her, because your heart is in love with her; and “out”

of heart you love her, being out of heart that you cannot enjoy her.

ARMADO.

I am all these three.

MOTH.

And three times as much more, and yet nothing at all.

ARMADO.

Fetch hither the swain. He must carry me a letter.

MOTH.

A message well sympathized: a horse to be ambassador for an ass.

ARMADO.

Ha, ha, what sayest thou?

MOTH.

Marry, sir, you must send the ass upon the horse, for he is very

slow-gaited. But I go.

ARMADO.

The way is but short. Away!

MOTH.

As swift as lead, sir.

ARMADO.

The meaning, pretty ingenious?

Is not lead a metal heavy, dull, and slow?

MOTH.

_Minime_, honest master; or rather, master, no.

ARMADO.

I say lead is slow.

MOTH.

You are too swift, sir, to say so.

Is that lead slow which is fired from a gun?

ARMADO.

Sweet smoke of rhetoric!

He reputes me a cannon; and the bullet, that’s he.

I shoot thee at the swain.

MOTH.

Thump then, and I flee.

[_Exit._]

ARMADO.

A most acute juvenal, voluble and free of grace!

By thy favour, sweet welkin, I must sigh in thy face.

Most rude melancholy, valour gives thee place.

My herald is returned.

Enter Moth and Costard.

MOTH.

A wonder, master! Here’s a costard broken in a shin.

ARMADO.

Some enigma, some riddle. Come, thy _l’envoi_ begin.

COSTARD.

No egma, no riddle, no _l’envoi_, no salve in the mail, sir. O, sir,

plantain, a plain plantain! No _l’envoi_, no _l’envoi_, no salve, sir,

but a plantain.

ARMADO.

By virtue, thou enforcest laughter; thy silly thought, my spleen; the

heaving of my lungs provokes me to ridiculous smiling. O, pardon me, my

stars! Doth the inconsiderate take _salve_ for _l’envoi_, and the word

_l’envoi_ for a _salve?_

MOTH.

Do the wise think them other? Is not _l’envoi_ a _salve?_

ARMADO.

No, page; it is an epilogue or discourse to make plain

Some obscure precedence that hath tofore been sain.

I will example it:

The fox, the ape, and the humble-bee

Were still at odds, being but three.

There’s the moral. Now the _l’envoi_.

MOTH.

I will add the _l’envoi_. Say the moral again.

ARMADO.

The fox, the ape, and the humble-bee

Were still at odds, being but three.

MOTH.

Until the goose came out of door,

And stayed the odds by adding four.

Now will I begin your moral, and do you follow with my _l’envoi_.

The fox, the ape, and the humble-bee

Were still at odds, being but three.

ARMADO.

Until the goose came out of door,

Staying the odds by adding four.

MOTH.

A good _l’envoi_, ending in the goose. Would you desire more?

COSTARD.

The boy hath sold him a bargain, a goose, that’s flat.

Sir, your pennyworth is good, an your goose be fat.

To sell a bargain well is as cunning as fast and loose.

Let me see: a fat _l’envoi_—ay, that’s a fat goose.

ARMADO.

Come hither, come hither. How did this argument begin?

MOTH.

By saying that a costard was broken in a shin.

Then called you for the _l’envoi_.

COSTARD.

True, and I for a plantain. Thus came your argument in. Then the boy’s

fat _l’envoi_, the goose that you bought; and he ended the market.

ARMADO.

But tell me, how was there a costard broken in a shin?

MOTH.

I will tell you sensibly.

COSTARD.

Thou hast no feeling of it, Moth. I will speak that _l’envoi_.

I, Costard, running out, that was safely within,

Fell over the threshold and broke my shin.

ARMADO.

We will talk no more of this matter.

COSTARD.

Till there be more matter in the shin.

ARMADO.

Sirrah Costard, I will enfranchise thee.

COSTARD.

O, marry me to one Frances! I smell some _l’envoi_, some goose, in

this.

ARMADO.

By my sweet soul, I mean setting thee at liberty, enfreedoming thy

person. Thou wert immured, restrained, captivated, bound.

COSTARD.

True, true; and now you will be my purgation, and let me loose.

ARMADO.

I give thee thy liberty, set thee from durance, and, in lieu thereof,

impose on thee nothing but this: [_Giving him a letter_.] bear this

significant to the country maid Jaquenetta. [_Giving money_.] There is

remuneration for the best ward of mine honour is rewarding my

dependents. Moth, follow.

[_Exit._]

MOTH.

Like the sequel, I. Signior Costard, adieu.

[_Exit Moth._]

COSTARD.

My sweet ounce of man’s flesh, my incony Jew!

Now will I look to his remuneration. “Remuneration”! O, that’s the

Latin word for three farthings. Three farthings—_remuneration_. “What’s

the price of this inkle?” “One penny.” “No, I’ll give you a

remuneration.” Why, it carries it! _Remuneration_. Why, it is a fairer

name than French crown. I will never buy and sell out of this word.

Enter Berowne.

BEROWNE.

My good knave Costard, exceedingly well met.

COSTARD.

Pray you, sir, how much carnation ribbon may a man buy for a

remuneration?

BEROWNE.

What is a remuneration?

COSTARD.

Marry, sir, halfpenny farthing.

BEROWNE.

Why, then, three-farthing worth of silk.

COSTARD.

I thank your worship. God be wi’ you.

BEROWNE.

Stay, slave. I must employ thee.

As thou wilt win my favour, good my knave,

Do one thing for me that I shall entreat.

COSTARD.

When would you have it done, sir?

BEROWNE.

This afternoon.

COSTARD.

Well, I will do it, sir. Fare you well.

BEROWNE.

Thou knowest not what it is.

COSTARD.

I shall know, sir, when I have done it.

BEROWNE.

Why, villain, thou must know first.

COSTARD.

I will come to your worship tomorrow morning.

BEROWNE.

It must be done this afternoon. Hark, slave, it is but this:

The Princess comes to hunt here in the park,

And in her train there is a gentle lady;

When tongues speak sweetly, then they name her name,

And Rosaline they call her. Ask for her

And to her white hand see thou do commend

This sealed-up counsel.

[_Gives him money._]

There’s thy guerdon. Go.

COSTARD.

Gardon, O sweet gardon! Better than remuneration, a ’levenpence

farthing better. Most sweet gardon! I will do it, sir, in print.

Gardon! Remuneration!

[_Exit._]

BEROWNE.

And I, forsooth, in love! I, that have been love’s whip,

A very beadle to a humorous sigh,

A critic, nay, a night-watch constable,

A domineering pedant o’er the boy,

Than whom no mortal so magnificent!

This wimpled, whining, purblind, wayward boy,

This Signior Junior, giant-dwarf, Dan Cupid,

Regent of love-rhymes, lord of folded arms,

Th’ anointed sovereign of sighs and groans,

Liege of all loiterers and malcontents,

Dread prince of plackets, king of codpieces,

Sole imperator, and great general

Of trotting paritors—O my little heart!

And I to be a corporal of his field

And wear his colours like a tumbler’s hoop!

What? I love, I sue, I seek a wife?

A woman, that is like a German clock,

Still a-repairing, ever out of frame,

And never going aright, being a watch,

But being watched that it may still go right!

Nay, to be perjured, which is worst of all;

And, among three, to love the worst of all,

A whitely wanton with a velvet brow,

With two pitch-balls stuck in her face for eyes;

Ay, and, by heaven, one that will do the deed

Though Argus were her eunuch and her guard.

And I to sigh for her, to watch for her,

To pray for her! Go to, it is a plague

That Cupid will impose for my neglect

Of his almighty dreadful little might.

Well, I will love, write, sigh, pray, sue, and groan.

Some men must love my lady, and some Joan.

[_Exit._]

ACT IV

SCENE I. The King of Navarre’s park

Enter the Princess, a Forester, Rosaline, Maria, Katharine, Boyet and

other Lords.

PRINCESS.

Was that the King that spurred his horse so hard

Against the steep uprising of the hill?

BOYET.

I know not, but I think it was not he.

PRINCESS.

Whoe’er he was, he showed a mounting mind.

Well, lords, today we shall have our dispatch;

On Saturday we will return to France.

Then, forester, my friend, where is the bush

That we must stand and play the murderer in?

FORESTER.

Hereby, upon the edge of yonder coppice,

A stand where you may make “the fairest shoot”.

PRINCESS.

I thank my beauty, I am fair that shoot,

And thereupon thou speak’st the fairest shoot.

FORESTER.

Pardon me, madam, for I meant not so.

PRINCESS.

What, what? First praise me, and again say no?

O short-lived pride! Not fair? Alack for woe!

FORESTER.

Yes, madam, fair.

PRINCESS.

Nay, never paint me now.

Where fair is not, praise cannot mend the brow.

Here, good my glass, take this for telling true:

[_She gives him money._]

Fair payment for foul words is more than due.

FORESTER.

Nothing but fair is that which you inherit.

PRINCESS.

See, see, my beauty will be saved by merit.

O heresy in fair, fit for these days!

A giving hand, though foul, shall have fair praise.

But come, the bow. Now mercy goes to kill,

And shooting well is then accounted ill.

Thus will I save my credit in the shoot:

Not wounding, pity would not let me do’t;

If wounding, then it was to show my skill,

That more for praise than purpose meant to kill.

And out of question so it is sometimes,

Glory grows guilty of detested crimes,

When, for fame’s sake, for praise, an outward part,

We bend to that the working of the heart;

As I for praise alone now seek to spill

The poor deer’s blood, that my heart means no ill.

BOYET.

Do not curst wives hold that self-sovereignty

Only for praise’ sake, when they strive to be

Lords o’er their lords?

PRINCESS.

Only for praise; and praise we may afford

To any lady that subdues a lord.

Enter Costard.

BOYET.

Here comes a member of the commonwealth.

COSTARD.

God dig-you-den all! Pray you, which is the head lady?

PRINCESS.

Thou shalt know her, fellow, by the rest that have no heads.

COSTARD.

Which is the greatest lady, the highest?

PRINCESS.

The thickest and the tallest.

COSTARD.

The thickest and the tallest. It is so, truth is truth.

An your waist, mistress, were as slender as my wit,

One o’ these maids’ girdles for your waist should be fit.

Are not you the chief woman? You are the thickest here.

PRINCESS.

What’s your will, sir? What’s your will?

COSTARD.

I have a letter from Monsieur Berowne to one Lady Rosaline.

PRINCESS.

O, thy letter, thy letter! He’s a good friend of mine.

Stand aside, good bearer. Boyet, you can carve.

Break up this capon.

BOYET.

I am bound to serve.

This letter is mistook; it importeth none here.

It is writ to Jaquenetta.

PRINCESS.

We will read it, I swear.

Break the neck of the wax, and everyone give ear.

BOYET.

[_Reads_.] _By heaven, that thou art fair is most infallible; true that

thou art beauteous; truth itself that thou art lovely. More fairer than

fair, beautiful than beauteous, truer than truth itself, have

commiseration on thy heroical vassal. The magnanimous and most

illustrate King Cophetua set eye upon the pernicious and indubitate

beggar Zenelophon, and he it was that might rightly say,_ “Veni, vidi,

vici,” _which to annothanize in the vulgar—O base and obscure

vulgar!_—videlicet, _He came, see, and overcame. He came, one; see,

two; overcame, three. Who came? The King. Why did he come? To see. Why

did he see? To overcome. To whom came he? To the beggar. What saw he?

The beggar. Who overcame he? The beggar. The conclusion is victory. On

whose side? The King’s. The captive is enriched. On whose side? The

beggar’s. The catastrophe is a nuptial. On whose side? The King’s? No,

on both in one, or one in both. I am the King, for so stands the

comparison; thou the beggar, for so witnesseth thy lowliness. Shall I

command thy love? I may. Shall I enforce thy love? I could. Shall I

entreat thy love? I will. What shalt thou exchange for rags? Robes. For

tittles? Titles. For thyself? Me. Thus expecting thy reply, I profane

my lips on thy foot, my eyes on thy picture, and my heart on thy every

part.

Thine in the dearest design of industry,

Don Adriano de Armado.

Thus dost thou hear the Nemean lion roar

’Gainst thee, thou lamb, that standest as his prey.

Submissive fall his princely feet before,

And he from forage will incline to play.

But if thou strive, poor soul, what are thou then?

Food for his rage, repasture for his den._

PRINCESS.

What plume of feathers is he that indited this letter?

What vane? What weathercock? Did you ever hear better?

BOYET.

I am much deceived but I remember the style.

PRINCESS.

Else your memory is bad, going o’er it erewhile.

BOYET.

This Armado is a Spaniard that keeps here in court,

A phantasime, a Monarcho, and one that makes sport

To the Prince and his book-mates.

PRINCESS.

Thou, fellow, a word.

Who gave thee this letter?

COSTARD.

I told you: my lord.

PRINCESS.

To whom shouldst thou give it?

COSTARD.

From my lord to my lady.

PRINCESS.

From which lord to which lady?

COSTARD.

From my Lord Berowne, a good master of mine,

To a lady of France that he called Rosaline.

PRINCESS.

Thou hast mistaken his letter. Come, lords, away.

Here, sweet, put up this: ’twill be thine another day.

[_Exeunt all but Boyet, Rosaline, Maria and Costard._]

BOYET.

Who is the shooter? Who is the shooter?

ROSALINE.

Shall I teach you to know?

BOYET.

Ay, my continent of beauty.

ROSALINE.

Why, she that bears the bow.

Finely put off!

BOYET.

My lady goes to kill horns, but if thou marry,

Hang me by the neck if horns that year miscarry.

Finely put on!

ROSALINE.

Well, then, I am the shooter.

BOYET.

And who is your deer?

ROSALINE.

If we choose by the horns, yourself come not near.

Finely put on indeed!

MARIA.

You still wrangle with her, Boyet, and she strikes at the brow.

BOYET.

But she herself is hit lower. Have I hit her now?

ROSALINE.

Shall I come upon thee with an old saying, that was a man when King

Pepin of France was a little boy, as touching the hit it?

BOYET.

So I may answer thee with one as old, that was a woman when Queen

Guinevere of Britain was a little wench, as touching the hit it.

ROSALINE.

Thou canst not hit it, hit it, hit it,

Thou canst not hit it, my good man.

BOYET.

An I cannot, cannot, cannot,

An I cannot, another can.

[_Exeunt Rosaline._]

COSTARD.

By my troth, most pleasant. How both did fit it!

MARIA.

A mark marvellous well shot, for they both did hit it.

BOYET.

A mark! O, mark but that mark! A mark, says my lady!

Let the mark have a prick in’t, to mete at, if it may be.

MARIA.

Wide o’ the bow hand! I’ faith, your hand is out.

COSTARD.

Indeed, a’ must shoot nearer, or he’ll ne’er hit the clout.

BOYET.

An if my hand be out, then belike your hand is in.

COSTARD.

Then will she get the upshoot by cleaving the pin.

MARIA.

Come, come, you talk greasily, your lips grow foul.

COSTARD.

She’s too hard for you at pricks, sir. Challenge her to bowl.

BOYET.

I fear too much rubbing. Good night, my good owl.

[_Exeunt Boyet and Maria._]

COSTARD.

By my soul, a swain, a most simple clown!

Lord, Lord, how the ladies and I have put him down!

O’ my troth, most sweet jests, most incony vulgar wit,

When it comes so smoothly off, so obscenely, as it were, so fit.

Armado, o’ the one side, O, a most dainty man!

To see him walk before a lady and to bear her fan!

To see him kiss his hand and how most sweetly he will swear!

And his page o’ t’other side, that handful of wit!

Ah, heavens, it is a most pathetical nit.

[_Shout within._]

Sola, sola!

[_Exit._]

SCENE II. The same

Enter Dull, Holofernes, the Pedant and Nathaniel.

NATHANIEL.

Very reverend sport, truly, and done in the testimony of a good

conscience.

HOLOFERNES.

The deer was, as you know, _sanguis_, in blood, ripe as the pomewater,

who now hangeth like a jewel in the ear of _caelo_, the sky, the

welkin, the heaven, and anon falleth like a crab on the face of

_terra_, the soil, the land, the earth.

NATHANIEL.

Truly, Master Holofernes, the epithets are sweetly varied, like a

scholar at the least. But, sir, I assure ye it was a buck of the first

head.

HOLOFERNES.

Sir Nathaniel, _haud credo_.

DULL.

’Twas not a “auld grey doe”, ’twas a pricket.

HOLOFERNES.

Most barbarous intimation! Yet a kind of insinuation, as it were, _in

via_, in way, of explication; _facere_, as it were, replication, or

rather, _ostentare_, to show, as it were, his inclination, after his

undressed, unpolished, uneducated, unpruned, untrained, or rather,

unlettered, or ratherest, unconfirmed fashion, to insert again my _haud

credo_ for a deer.

DULL.

I said the deer was not a “auld grey doe”, ’twas a pricket.

HOLOFERNES.

Twice-sod simplicity, _bis coctus!_

O, thou monster Ignorance, how deformed dost thou look!

NATHANIEL.

Sir, he hath never fed of the dainties that are bred of a book.

He hath not eat paper, as it were; he hath not drunk ink.

His intellect is not replenished; he is only an animal, only sensible

in the duller parts.

And such barren plants are set before us that we thankful should be—

Which we of taste and feeling are—for those parts that do fructify in

us more than he.

For as it would ill become me to be vain, indiscreet, or a fool,

So, were there a patch set on learning, to see him in a school.

But, _omne bene_, say I, being of an old father’s mind;

Many can brook the weather that love not the wind.

DULL.

You two are bookmen. Can you tell me by your wit

What was a month old at Cain’s birth, that’s not five weeks old as yet?

HOLOFERNES.

Dictynna, goodman Dull. Dictynna, goodman Dull.

DULL.

What is Dictynna?

NATHANIEL.

A title to Phoebe, to Luna, to the moon.

HOLOFERNES.

The moon was a month old when Adam was no more,

And raught not to five weeks when he came to five-score.

Th’ allusion holds in the exchange.

DULL.

’Tis true, indeed. The collusion holds in the exchange.

HOLOFERNES.

God comfort thy capacity! I say, th’ allusion holds in the exchange.

DULL.

And I say the pollution holds in the exchange, for the moon is never

but a month old; and I say beside that ’twas a pricket that the

Princess killed.

HOLOFERNES.

Sir Nathaniel, will you hear an extemporal epitaph on the death of the

deer? And, to humour the ignorant, call I the deer the Princess killed

a pricket.

NATHANIEL.

_Perge_, good Master Holofernes, _perge_, so it shall please you to

abrogate scurrility.

HOLOFERNES.

I will something affect the letter; for it argues facility.

The preyful Princess pierced and pricked a pretty pleasing pricket;

Some say a sore; but not a sore till now made sore with shooting.

The dogs did yell, put “l” to sore, then sorel jumps from thicket;

Or pricket sore, or else sorel, the people fall a-hooting.

If sore be sore, then “L” to “sore” makes fifty sores o’ sorel.

Of one sore I an hundred make, by adding but one more “L”.

NATHANIEL.

A rare talent!

DULL.

[_Aside_.] If a talent be a claw, look how he claws him with a talent.

HOLOFERNES.

This is a gift that I have, simple, simple; a foolish extravagant

spirit, full of forms, figures, shapes, objects, ideas, apprehensions,

motions, revolutions. These are begot in the ventricle of memory,

nourished in the womb of _pia mater_, and delivered upon the mellowing

of occasion. But the gift is good in those in whom it is acute, and I

am thankful for it.

NATHANIEL.

Sir, I praise the Lord for you, and so may my parishioners, for their

sons are well tutored by you, and their daughters profit very greatly

under you. You are a good member of the commonwealth.

HOLOFERNES.

_Mehercle!_ If their sons be ingenious, they shall want no instruction;

if their daughters be capable, I will put it to them. But, _vir sapit

qui pauca loquitur_. A soul feminine saluteth us.

Enter Jaquenetta and Costard.

JAQUENETTA.

God give you good morrow, Master Person.

HOLOFERNES.

Master Person, _quasi_ pierce one. And if one should be pierced, which

is the one?

COSTARD.

Marry, Master schoolmaster, he that is likest to a hogshead.

HOLOFERNES.

Of piercing a hogshead! A good lustre or conceit in a turf of earth;

fire enough for a flint, pearl enough for a swine. ’Tis pretty; it is

well.

JAQUENETTA.

Good Master Parson, be so good as read me this letter. It was given me

by Costard, and sent me from Don Armado. I beseech you read it.

[_Giving a letter to Nathaniel._]

HOLOFERNES.

_Fauste precor, gelida quando pecus omne sub umbra Ruminat_—

and so forth. Ah, good old Mantuan, I may speak of thee as the

traveller doth of Venice:

_Venetia, Venetia,

Chi non ti vede, non ti pretia._

Old Mantuan, old Mantuan! Who understandeth thee not, loves thee not.

[_He sings_.]

Ut, re, sol, la, mi, fa.

Under pardon, sir, what are the contents? Or rather as Horace says in

his—What, my soul, verses?

NATHANIEL.

Ay, sir, and very learned.

HOLOFERNES.

Let me hear a staff, a stanze, a verse,

_Lege, domine_.

NATHANIEL.

[_Reads_.]

_If love make me forsworn, how shall I swear to love?

Ah, never faith could hold, if not to beauty vowed.

Though to myself forsworn, to thee I’ll faithful prove.

Those thoughts to me were oaks, to thee like osiers bowed.

Study his bias leaves, and makes his book thine eyes,

Where all those pleasures live that art would comprehend.

If knowledge be the mark, to know thee shall suffice.

Well learned is that tongue that well can thee commend,

All ignorant that soul that sees thee without wonder;

Which is to me some praise, that I thy parts admire.

Thy eye Jove’s lightning bears, thy voice his dreadful thunder,

Which, not to anger bent, is music and sweet fire.

Celestial as thou art, O, pardon love this wrong,

That sings heaven’s praise with such an earthly tongue._

HOLOFERNES.

You find not the apostrophus, and so miss the accent. Let me supervise

the canzonet. [_He takes the letter_.] Here are only numbers ratified,

but, for the elegancy, facility, and golden cadence of poesy, _caret_.

Ovidius Naso was the man. And why indeed “Naso,” but for smelling out

the odoriferous flowers of fancy, the jerks of invention? _Imitari_ is

nothing: so doth the hound his master, the ape his keeper, the tired

horse his rider. But, damosella virgin, was this directed to you?

JAQUENETTA.

Ay, sir, from one Monsieur Berowne, one of the strange queen’s lords.

HOLOFERNES.

I will overglance the superscript: _To the snow-white hand of the most

beauteous Lady Rosaline._ I will look again on the intellect of the

letter, for the nomination of the party writing to the person written

unto: _Your Ladyship’s in all desired employment, Berowne._ Sir

Nathaniel, this Berowne is one of the votaries with the King, and here

he hath framed a letter to a sequent of the stranger queen’s, which

accidentally, or by the way of progression, hath miscarried. Trip and

go, my sweet, deliver this paper into the royal hand of the King. It

may concern much. Stay not thy compliment. I forgive thy duty. Adieu.

JAQUENETTA.

Good Costard, go with me. Sir, God save your life.

COSTARD.

Have with thee, my girl.

[_Exeunt Costard and Jaquenetta._]

NATHANIEL.

Sir, you have done this in the fear of God, very religiously; and, as a

certain Father saith—

HOLOFERNES.

Sir, tell not me of the Father, I do fear colourable colours. But to

return to the verses: did they please you, Sir Nathaniel?

NATHANIEL.

Marvellous well for the pen.

HOLOFERNES.

I do dine today at the father’s of a certain pupil of mine, where if,

before repast, it shall please you to gratify the table with a grace, I

will, on my privilege I have with the parents of the foresaid child or

pupil, undertake your _ben venuto;_ where I will prove those verses to

be very unlearned, neither savouring of poetry, wit, nor invention. I

beseech your society.

NATHANIEL.

And thank you too; for society, saith the text, is the happiness of

life.

HOLOFERNES.

And certes, the text most infallibly concludes it. [_To Dull_.] Sir, I

do invite you too. You shall not say me nay. _Pauca verba_. Away! The

gentles are at their game, and we will to our recreation.

[_Exeunt._]

SCENE III. The same

Enter Berowne with a paper in his hand, alone.

BEROWNE.

The King, he is hunting the deer; I am coursing myself. They have

pitched a toil; I am toiling in a pitch, pitch that defiles. Defile! A

foul word! Well, set thee down, sorrow, for so they say the fool said,

and so say I, and I the fool. Well proved, wit! By the Lord, this love

is as mad as Ajax. It kills sheep, it kills me, I a sheep. Well proved

again, o’ my side! I will not love; if I do, hang me! I’ faith, I will

not. O, but her eye! By this light, but for her eye, I would not love

her; yes, for her two eyes. Well, I do nothing in the world but lie,

and lie in my throat. By heaven, I do love, and it hath taught me to

rhyme, and to be melancholy. And here is part of my rhyme, and here my

melancholy. Well, she hath one o’ my sonnets already. The clown bore

it, the fool sent it, and the lady hath it. Sweet clown, sweeter fool,

sweetest lady! By the world, I would not care a pin if the other three

were in. Here comes one with a paper. God give him grace to groan!

[_He stands aside._]

Enter the King with a paper.

KING.

Ay me!

BEROWNE.

[_Aside_.] Shot, by heaven! Proceed, sweet Cupid, thou hast thumped him

with thy birdbolt under the left pap. In faith, secrets!

KING.

[_Reads_.] [_So sweet a kiss the golden sun gives not

To those fresh morning drops upon the rose,

As thy eye-beams, when their fresh rays have smote

The night of dew that on my cheeks down flows.

Nor shines the silver moon one half so bright

Through the transparent bosom of the deep

As doth thy face, through tears of mine give light.

Thou shin’st in every tear that I do weep.

No drop but as a coach doth carry thee;

So ridest thou triumphing in my woe.

Do but behold the tears that swell in me,

And they thy glory through my grief will show.

But do not love thyself; then thou wilt keep

My tears for glasses, and still make me weep.

O queen of queens, how far dost thou excel

No thought can think, nor tongue of mortal tell._

How shall she know my griefs? I’ll drop the paper.

Sweet leaves, shade folly. Who is he comes here?

[_Steps aside._]

What, Longaville, and reading! Listen, ear.

Enter Longaville with a paper.

BEROWNE.

[_Aside_.] Now, in thy likeness, one more fool appear!

LONGAVILLE.

Ay me! I am forsworn.

BEROWNE.

Why, he comes in like a perjure, wearing papers.

KING.

In love, I hope. Sweet fellowship in shame.

BEROWNE.

One drunkard loves another of the name.

LONGAVILLE.

Am I the first that have been perjured so?

BEROWNE.

I could put thee in comfort: not by two that I know.

Thou makest the triumviry, the corner-cap of society,

The shape of love’s Tyburn, that hangs up simplicity.

LONGAVILLE.

I fear these stubborn lines lack power to move.

O sweet Maria, empress of my love,

These numbers will I tear, and write in prose.

BEROWNE.

O, rhymes are guards on wanton Cupid’s hose.

Disfigure not his shop.

LONGAVILLE.

This same shall go.

[_He reads the sonnet._]

_Did not the heavenly rhetoric of thine eye,

’Gainst whom the world cannot hold argument,

Persuade my heart to this false perjury?

Vows for thee broke deserve not punishment.

A woman I forswore, but I will prove,

Thou being a goddess, I forswore not thee.

My vow was earthly, thou a heavenly love;

Thy grace being gained, cures all disgrace in me.

Vows are but breath, and breath a vapour is.

Then thou, fair sun, which on my earth dost shine,

Exhal’st this vapour-vow; in thee it is.

If broken then, it is no fault of mine;

If by me broke, what fool is not so wise

To lose an oath to win a paradise?_

BEROWNE.

This is the liver vein, which makes flesh a deity,

A green goose a goddess. Pure, pure idolatry.

God amend us, God amend! We are much out o’ th’ way.

LONGAVILLE.

By whom shall I send this?—Company! Stay.

[_He steps aside._]

Enter Dumaine with a paper.

BEROWNE.

All hid, all hid, an old infant play.

Like a demigod here sit I in the sky,

And wretched fools’ secrets heedfully o’er-eye.

More sacks to the mill. O heavens, I have my wish.

Dumaine transformed! Four woodcocks in a dish!

DUMAINE.

O most divine Kate!

BEROWNE.

O most profane coxcomb!

DUMAINE.

By heaven, the wonder in a mortal eye!

BEROWNE.

By earth, she is but corporal. There you lie.

DUMAINE.

Her amber hairs for foul hath amber quoted.

BEROWNE.

An amber-coloured raven was well noted.

DUMAINE.

As upright as the cedar.

BEROWNE.

Stoop, I say.

Her shoulder is with child.

DUMAINE.

As fair as day.

BEROWNE.

Ay, as some days, but then no sun must shine.

DUMAINE.

O, that I had my wish!

LONGAVILLE.

And I had mine!

KING.

And I mine too, good Lord!

BEROWNE.

Amen, so I had mine. Is not that a good word?

DUMAINE.

I would forget her; but a fever she

Reigns in my blood, and will remembered be.

BEROWNE.

A fever in your blood? Why, then incision

Would let her out in saucers. Sweet misprision!

DUMAINE.

Once more I’ll read the ode that I have writ.

BEROWNE.

Once more I’ll mark how love can vary wit.

DUMAINE.

[_Dumaine reads his sonnet_.]

_On a day—alack the day!—

Love, whose month is ever May,

Spied a blossom passing fair

Playing in the wanton air.

Through the velvet leaves the wind,

All unseen, can passage find;

That the lover, sick to death,

Wished himself the heaven’s breath.

“Air,” quoth he, “thy cheeks may blow;

Air, would I might triumph so!”

But, alack, my hand is sworn

Ne’er to pluck thee from thy thorn.

Vow, alack, for youth unmeet,

Youth so apt to pluck a sweet.

Do not call it sin in me,

That I am forsworn for thee;

Thou for whom Jove would swear

Juno but an Ethiope were,

And deny himself for Jove,

Turning mortal for thy love._

This will I send, and something else more plain,

That shall express my true love’s fasting pain.

O, would the King, Berowne and Longaville

Were lovers too! Ill, to example ill,

Would from my forehead wipe a perjured note,

For none offend where all alike do dote.

LONGAVILLE.

[_Comes forward_.] Dumaine, thy love is far from charity,

That in love’s grief desir’st society.

You may look pale, but I should blush, I know,

To be o’erheard and taken napping so.

KING.

[_Comes forward_.] Come, sir, you blush. As his, your case is such.

You chide at him, offending twice as much.

You do not love Maria? Longaville

Did never sonnet for her sake compile,

Nor never lay his wreathed arms athwart

His loving bosom to keep down his heart.

I have been closely shrouded in this bush,

And marked you both, and for you both did blush.

I heard your guilty rhymes, observed your fashion,

Saw sighs reek from you, noted well your passion.

“Ay, me!” says one. “O Jove!” the other cries.

One, her hairs were gold; crystal the other’s eyes.

[_To Longaville_.] You would for paradise break faith and troth;

[_To Dumaine_.] And Jove, for your love would infringe an oath.

What will Berowne say when that he shall hear

Faith infringed which such zeal did swear?

How will he scorn, how will he spend his wit!

How will he triumph, leap, and laugh at it!

For all the wealth that ever I did see,

I would not have him know so much by me.

BEROWNE.

[_Comes forward_.]

Now step I forth to whip hypocrisy.

Ah, good my liege, I pray thee pardon me.

Good heart, what grace hast thou thus to reprove

These worms for loving, that art most in love?

Your eyes do make no coaches; in your tears

There is no certain princess that appears.

You’ll not be perjured, ’tis a hateful thing:

Tush, none but minstrels like of sonneting!

But are you not ashamed? Nay, are you not,

All three of you, to be thus much o’ershot?

You found his mote, the King your mote did see;

But I a beam do find in each of three.

O, what a scene of foolery have I seen,

Of sighs, of groans, of sorrow, and of teen!

O me, with what strict patience have I sat,

To see a king transformed to a gnat!

To see great Hercules whipping a gig,

And profound Solomon to tune a jig,

And Nestor play at push-pin with the boys,

And critic Timon laugh at idle toys.

Where lies thy grief, O, tell me, good Dumaine?

And, gentle Longaville, where lies thy pain?

And where my liege’s? All about the breast?

A caudle, ho!

KING.

Too bitter is thy jest.

Are we betrayed thus to thy over-view?

BEROWNE.

Not you to me, but I betrayed by you.

I that am honest, I that hold it sin

To break the vow I am engaged in.

I am betrayed by keeping company

With men like you, men of inconstancy.

When shall you see me write a thing in rhyme?

Or groan for Joan? Or spend a minute’s time

In pruning me? When shall you hear that I

Will praise a hand, a foot, a face, an eye,

A gait, a state, a brow, a breast, a waist,

A leg, a limb—

KING.

Soft! Whither away so fast?

A true man, or a thief, that gallops so?

BEROWNE.

I post from love. Good lover, let me go.

Enter Jaquenetta, with a letter, and Costard.

JAQUENETTA.

God bless the King!

KING.

What present hast thou there?

COSTARD.

Some certain treason.

KING.

What makes treason here?

COSTARD.

Nay, it makes nothing, sir.

KING.

If it mar nothing neither,

The treason and you go in peace away together.

JAQUENETTA.

I beseech your Grace, let this letter be read.

Our person misdoubts it; ’twas treason, he said.

KING.

Berowne, read it over.

[_Berowne reads the letter._]

Where hadst thou it?

JAQUENETTA.

Of Costard.

KING.

Where hadst thou it?

COSTARD.

Of Dun Adramadio, Dun Adramadio.

[_Berowne tears the letter._]

KING.

How now, what is in you? Why dost thou tear it?

BEROWNE.

A toy, my liege, a toy. Your Grace needs not fear it.

LONGAVILLE.

It did move him to passion, and therefore let’s hear it.

DUMAINE.

[_Picking up the pieces_.]

It is Berowne’s writing, and here is his name.

BEROWNE.

[_To Costard_.] Ah, you whoreson loggerhead, you were born to do me

shame.

Guilty, my lord, guilty. I confess, I confess.

KING.

What?

BEROWNE.

That you three fools lacked me fool to make up the mess.

He, he, and you—and you, my liege—and I

Are pick-purses in love, and we deserve to die.

O, dismiss this audience, and I shall tell you more.

DUMAINE.

Now the number is even.

BEROWNE.

True, true, we are four.

Will these turtles be gone?

KING.

Hence, sirs, away!

COSTARD.

Walk aside the true folk, and let the traitors stay.

[_Exeunt Costard and Jaquenetta._]

BEROWNE.

Sweet lords, sweet lovers, O, let us embrace!

As true we are as flesh and blood can be.

The sea will ebb and flow, heaven show his face;

Young blood doth not obey an old decree.

We cannot cross the cause why we were born;

Therefore of all hands must we be forsworn.

KING.

What, did these rent lines show some love of thine?

BEROWNE.

“Did they?” quoth you? Who sees the heavenly Rosaline

That, like a rude and savage man of Ind,

At the first op’ning of the gorgeous east,

Bows not his vassal head and, strucken blind,

Kisses the base ground with obedient breast?

What peremptory eagle-sighted eye

Dares look upon the heaven of her brow

That is not blinded by her majesty?

KING.

What zeal, what fury hath inspired thee now?

My love, her mistress, is a gracious moon;

She, an attending star, scarce seen a light.

BEROWNE.

My eyes are then no eyes, nor I Berowne.

O, but for my love, day would turn to night!

Of all complexions the culled sovereignty

Do meet as at a fair in her fair cheek,

Where several worthies make one dignity,

Where nothing wants that want itself doth seek.

Lend me the flourish of all gentle tongues—

Fie, painted rhetoric! O, she needs it not.

To things of sale a seller’s praise belongs.

She passes praise; then praise too short doth blot.

A withered hermit, five-score winters worn,

Might shake off fifty, looking in her eye.

Beauty doth varnish age, as if new born,

And gives the crutch the cradle’s infancy.

O, ’tis the sun that maketh all things shine!

KING.

By heaven, thy love is black as ebony.

BEROWNE.

Is ebony like her? O word divine!

A wife of such wood were felicity.

O, who can give an oath? Where is a book?

That I may swear beauty doth beauty lack

If that she learn not of her eye to look.

No face is fair that is not full so black.

KING.

O paradox! Black is the badge of hell,

The hue of dungeons and the school of night;

And beauty’s crest becomes the heavens well.

BEROWNE.

Devils soonest tempt, resembling spirits of light.

O, if in black my lady’s brows be decked,

It mourns that painting and usurping hair

Should ravish doters with a false aspect;

And therefore is she born to make black fair.

Her favour turns the fashion of the days,

For native blood is counted painting now;

And therefore red, that would avoid dispraise,

Paints itself black, to imitate her brow.

DUMAINE.

To look like her are chimney-sweepers black.

LONGAVILLE.

And since her time are colliers counted bright.

KING.

And Ethiopes of their sweet complexion crack.

DUMAINE.

Dark needs no candles now, for dark is light.

BEROWNE.

Your mistresses dare never come in rain,

For fear their colours should be washed away.

KING.

’Twere good yours did; for, sir, to tell you plain,

I’ll find a fairer face not washed today.

BEROWNE.

I’ll prove her fair, or talk till doomsday here.

KING.

No devil will fright thee then so much as she.

DUMAINE.

I never knew man hold vile stuff so dear.

LONGAVILLE.

[_Showing his shoe_.]

Look, here’s thy love, my foot and her face see.

BEROWNE.

O, if the streets were paved with thine eyes,

Her feet were much too dainty for such tread.

DUMAINE.

O vile! Then, as she goes, what upward lies

The street should see as she walked over head.

KING.

But what of this? Are we not all in love?

BEROWNE.

Nothing so sure, and thereby all forsworn.

KING.

Then leave this chat, and, good Berowne, now prove

Our loving lawful, and our faith not torn.

DUMAINE.

Ay, marry, there; some flattery for this evil.

LONGAVILLE.

O, some authority how to proceed.

Some tricks, some quillets, how to cheat the devil.

DUMAINE.

Some salve for perjury.

BEROWNE.

O, ’tis more than need.

Have at you, then, affection’s men-at-arms.

Consider what you first did swear unto:

To fast, to study, and to see no woman—

Flat treason ’gainst the kingly state of youth.

Say, can you fast? Your stomachs are too young,

And abstinence engenders maladies.

O, we have made a vow to study, lords,

And in that vow we have forsworn our books;

For when would you, my liege, or you, or you,

In leaden contemplation have found out

Such fiery numbers as the prompting eyes

Of beauty’s tutors have enriched you with?

Other slow arts entirely keep the brain,

And therefore, finding barren practisers,

Scarce show a harvest of their heavy toil;

But love, first learned in a lady’s eyes,

Lives not alone immured in the brain,

But with the motion of all elements

Courses as swift as thought in every power,

And gives to every power a double power,

Above their functions and their offices.

It adds a precious seeing to the eye.

A lover’s eyes will gaze an eagle blind.

A lover’s ear will hear the lowest sound,

When the suspicious head of theft is stopped.

Love’s feeling is more soft and sensible

Than are the tender horns of cockled snails.

Love’s tongue proves dainty Bacchus gross in taste.

For valour, is not Love a Hercules,

Still climbing trees in the Hesperides?

Subtle as Sphinx, as sweet and musical

As bright Apollo’s lute, strung with his hair.

And when Love speaks, the voice of all the gods

Make heaven drowsy with the harmony.

Never durst poet touch a pen to write

Until his ink were tempered with Love’s sighs.

O, then his lines would ravish savage ears

And plant in tyrants mild humility.

From women’s eyes this doctrine I derive.

They sparkle still the right Promethean fire;

They are the books, the arts, the academes,

That show, contain, and nourish, all the world;

Else none at all in aught proves excellent.

Then fools you were these women to forswear,

Or, keeping what is sworn, you will prove fools.

For wisdom’s sake, a word that all men love,

Or for love’s sake, a word that loves all men,

Or for men’s sake, the authors of these women,

Or women’s sake, by whom we men are men,

Let us once lose our oaths to find ourselves,

Or else we lose ourselves to keep our oaths.

It is religion to be thus forsworn,

For charity itself fulfils the law,

And who can sever love from charity?

KING.

Saint Cupid, then, and, soldiers, to the field!

BEROWNE.

Advance your standards, and upon them, lords!

Pell-mell, down with them! But be first advised

In conflict that you get the sun of them.

LONGAVILLE.

Now to plain dealing. Lay these glozes by.

Shall we resolve to woo these girls of France?

KING.

And win them too. Therefore let us devise

Some entertainment for them in their tents.

BEROWNE.

First, from the park let us conduct them thither.

Then homeward every man attach the hand

Of his fair mistress. In the afternoon

We will with some strange pastime solace them,

Such as the shortness of the time can shape;

For revels, dances, masques, and merry hours

Forerun fair Love, strewing her way with flowers.

KING.

Away, away! No time shall be omitted

That will betime and may by us be fitted.

BEROWNE.

_Allons! allons!_ Sowed cockle reaped no corn,

And justice always whirls in equal measure.

Light wenches may prove plagues to men forsworn;

If so, our copper buys no better treasure.

[_Exeunt._]

ACT V

SCENE I. The King of Navarre’s park

Enter Holofernes, Sir Nathaniel and Dull.

HOLOFERNES.

_Satis quod sufficit._

NATHANIEL.

I praise God for you, sir. Your reasons at dinner have been sharp and

sententious, pleasant without scurrility, witty without affection,

audacious without impudency, learned without opinion, and strange

without heresy. I did converse this _quondam_ day with a companion of

the King’s, who is intituled, nominated, or called, Don Adriano de

Armado.

HOLOFERNES.

_Novi hominem tanquam te._ His humour is lofty, his discourse

peremptory, his tongue filed, his eye ambitious, his gait majestical

and his general behaviour vain, ridiculous, and thrasonical. He is too

picked, too spruce, too affected, too odd, as it were, too peregrinate,

as I may call it.

NATHANIEL.

A most singular and choice epithet.

[_Draws out his table-book._]

HOLOFERNES.

He draweth out the thread of his verbosity finer than the staple of his

argument. I abhor such fanatical phantasimes, such insociable and

point-devise companions, such rackers of orthography, as to speak

“dout” _sine_ “b”, when he should say “doubt”, “det” when he should

pronounce “debt”—_d, e, b, t_, not _d, e, t_. He clepeth a calf “cauf”,

half “hauf”; neighbour _vocatur_ “nebour”, neigh abbreviated “ne”. This

is abhominable, which he would call “abominable”. It insinuateth me of

insanie. _Ne intelligis, domine?_ To make frantic, lunatic.

NATHANIEL.

_Laus Deo, bone intelligo._

HOLOFERNES.

_Bone? Bone_ for _bene?_ Priscian a little scratched; ’twill serve.

Enter Armado, Moth and Costard.

NATHANIEL.

_Videsne quis venit?_

HOLOFERNES.

_Video, et gaudeo._

ARMADO.

_Chirrah!_

HOLOFERNES.

_Quare_ “chirrah”, not “sirrah”?

ARMADO.

Men of peace, well encountered.

HOLOFERNES.

Most military sir, salutation.

MOTH.

[_Aside to Costard_.] They have been at a great feast of languages and

stolen the scraps.

COSTARD.

O, they have lived long on the almsbasket of words. I marvel thy master

hath not eaten thee for a word, for thou art not so long by the head as

_honorificabilitudinitatibus_. Thou art easier swallowed than a

flap-dragon.

MOTH.

Peace! The peal begins.

ARMADO.

[_To Holofernes_.] Monsieur, are you not lettered?

MOTH.

Yes, yes, he teaches boys the hornbook. What is _a, b_, spelt backward

with the horn on his head?

HOLOFERNES.

_Ba, pueritia_, with a horn added.

MOTH.

_Ba_, most silly sheep with a horn. You hear his learning.

HOLOFERNES.

_Quis, quis_, thou consonant?

MOTH.

The third of the five vowels, if you repeat them; or the fifth, if I.

HOLOFERNES.

I will repeat them: _a, e, i_—

MOTH.

The sheep. The other two concludes it: _o, u_.

ARMADO.

Now, by the salt wave of the Mediterraneum, a sweet touch, a quick

venue of wit! Snip, snap, quick and home! It rejoiceth my intellect.

True wit!

MOTH.

Offered by a child to an old man—which is wit-old.

HOLOFERNES.

What is the figure? What is the figure?

MOTH.

Horns.

HOLOFERNES.

Thou disputes like an infant. Go whip thy gig.

MOTH.

Lend me your horn to make one, and I will whip about your infamy _unum

cita_. A gig of a cuckold’s horn.

COSTARD.

An I had but one penny in the world, thou shouldst have it to buy

gingerbread. Hold, there is the very remuneration I had of thy master,

thou halfpenny purse of wit, thou pigeon-egg of discretion. O, an the

heavens were so pleased that thou wert but my bastard, what a joyful

father wouldst thou make me! Go to, thou hast it _ad dunghill_, at the

fingers’ ends, as they say.

HOLOFERNES.

O, I smell false Latin! _Dunghill_ for _unguem_.

ARMADO.

Arts-man, preambulate. We will be singuled from the barbarous. Do you

not educate youth at the charge-house on the top of the mountain?

HOLOFERNES.

Or _mons_, the hill.

ARMADO.

At your sweet pleasure, for the mountain.

HOLOFERNES.

I do, _sans question_.

ARMADO.

Sir, it is the King’s most sweet pleasure and affection to congratulate

the Princess at her pavilion in the posteriors of this day, which the

rude multitude call the afternoon.

HOLOFERNES.

The posterior of the day, most generous sir, is liable, congruent, and

measurable for the afternoon. The word is well culled, chose, sweet,

and apt, I do assure you, sir, I do assure.

ARMADO.

Sir, the King is a noble gentleman, and my familiar, I do assure ye,

very good friend. For what is inward between us, let it pass. I do

beseech thee, remember thy courtesy; I beseech thee, apparel thy head.

And among other importunate and most serious designs, and of great

import indeed, too—but let that pass. For I must tell thee it will

please his Grace, by the world, sometime to lean upon my poor shoulder

and with his royal finger thus dally with my excrement, with my

mustachio. But, sweet heart, let that pass. By the world, I recount no

fable! Some certain special honours it pleaseth his greatness to impart

to Armado, a soldier, a man of travel, that hath seen the world. But

let that pass. The very all of all is—but, sweet heart, I do implore

secrecy—that the King would have me present the Princess, sweet chuck,

with some delightful ostentation, or show, or pageant, or antic, or

firework. Now, understanding that the curate and your sweet self are

good at such eruptions and sudden breaking-out of mirth, as it were, I

have acquainted you withal, to the end to crave your assistance.

HOLOFERNES.

Sir, you shall present before her the Nine Worthies. Sir Nathaniel, as

concerning some entertainment of time, some show in the posterior of

this day, to be rendered by our assistance, the King’s command, and

this most gallant, illustrate, and learned gentleman, before the

Princess, I say, none so fit as to present the Nine Worthies.

NATHANIEL.

Where will you find men worthy enough to present them?

HOLOFERNES.

Joshua, yourself; myself; and this gallant gentleman, Judas Maccabaeus.

This swain, because of his great limb or joint, shall pass Pompey the

Great; the page, Hercules.

ARMADO.

Pardon, sir; error. He is not quantity enough for that Worthy’s thumb;

he is not so big as the end of his club.

HOLOFERNES.

Shall I have audience? He shall present Hercules in minority. His enter

and exit shall be strangling a snake; and I will have an apology for

that purpose.

MOTH.

An excellent device! So, if any of the audience hiss, you may cry “Well

done, Hercules, now thou crushest the snake!” That is the way to make

an offence gracious, though few have the grace to do it.

ARMADO.

For the rest of the Worthies?

HOLOFERNES.

I will play three myself.

MOTH.

Thrice-worthy gentleman!

ARMADO.

Shall I tell you a thing?

HOLOFERNES.

We attend.

ARMADO.

We will have, if this fadge not, an antic. I beseech you, follow.

HOLOFERNES.

_Via_, goodman Dull! Thou has spoken no word all this while.

DULL.

Nor understood none neither, sir.

HOLOFERNES.

_Allons!_ we will employ thee.

DULL.

I’ll make one in a dance, or so; or I will play on the tabor to the

Worthies, and let them dance the hay.

HOLOFERNES.

Most dull, honest Dull! To our sport, away.

[_Exeunt._]

SCENE II. The same. Before the Princess’s pavilion

Enter the Princess, Rosaline, Katharine and Maria.

PRINCESS.

Sweet hearts, we shall be rich ere we depart,

If fairings come thus plentifully in.

A lady walled about with diamonds!

Look you what I have from the loving King.

ROSALINE.

Madam, came nothing else along with that?

PRINCESS.

Nothing but this? Yes, as much love in rhyme

As would be crammed up in a sheet of paper

Writ o’ both sides the leaf, margent and all,

That he was fain to seal on Cupid’s name.

ROSALINE.

That was the way to make his godhead wax,

For he hath been five thousand years a boy.

KATHARINE.

Ay, and a shrewd unhappy gallows too.

ROSALINE.

You’ll ne’er be friends with him. He killed your sister.

KATHARINE.

He made her melancholy, sad, and heavy;

And so she died. Had she been light, like you,

Of such a merry, nimble, stirring spirit,

She might ha’ been a grandam ere she died.

And so may you, for a light heart lives long.

ROSALINE.

What’s your dark meaning, mouse, of this light word?

KATHARINE.

A light condition in a beauty dark.

ROSALINE.

We need more light to find your meaning out.

KATHARINE.

You’ll mar the light by taking it in snuff;

Therefore I’ll darkly end the argument.

ROSALINE.

Look what you do, you do it still i’ th’ dark.

KATHARINE.

So do not you, for you are a light wench.

ROSALINE.

Indeed, I weigh not you, and therefore light.

KATHARINE.

You weigh me not? O, that’s you care not for me.

ROSALINE.

Great reason, for past cure is still past care.

PRINCESS.

Well bandied both; a set of wit well played.

But, Rosaline, you have a favour too.

Who sent it? And what is it?

ROSALINE.

I would you knew.

An if my face were but as fair as yours,

My favour were as great. Be witness this.

Nay, I have verses too, I thank Berowne;

The numbers true, and, were the numbering too,

I were the fairest goddess on the ground.

I am compared to twenty thousand fairs.

O, he hath drawn my picture in his letter.

PRINCESS.

Anything like?

ROSALINE.

Much in the letters, nothing in the praise.

PRINCESS.

Beauteous as ink: a good conclusion.

KATHARINE.

Fair as a text B in a copy-book.

ROSALINE.

’Ware pencils, how! Let me not die your debtor,

My red dominical, my golden letter.

O, that your face were not so full of O’s!

PRINCESS.

A pox of that jest! And beshrew all shrews.

But, Katharine, what was sent to you from fair Dumaine?

KATHARINE.

Madam, this glove.

PRINCESS.

Did he not send you twain?

KATHARINE.

Yes, madam, and moreover,

Some thousand verses of a faithful lover.

A huge translation of hypocrisy,

Vilely compiled, profound simplicity.

MARIA.

This, and these pearls, to me sent Longaville.

The letter is too long by half a mile.

PRINCESS.

I think no less. Dost thou not wish in heart

The chain were longer and the letter short?

MARIA.

Ay, or I would these hands might never part.

PRINCESS.

We are wise girls to mock our lovers so.

ROSALINE.

They are worse fools to purchase mocking so.

That same Berowne I’ll torture ere I go.

O that I knew he were but in by th’ week!

How I would make him fawn, and beg, and seek,

And wait the season, and observe the times,

And spend his prodigal wits in bootless rhymes,

And shape his service wholly to my hests,

And make him proud to make me proud that jests!

So pair-taunt-like would I o’ersway his state,

That he should be my fool, and I his fate.

PRINCESS.

None are so surely caught, when they are catched,

As wit turned fool. Folly, in wisdom hatched,

Hath wisdom’s warrant and the help of school

And wit’s own grace to grace a learned fool.

ROSALINE.

The blood of youth burns not with such excess

As gravity’s revolt to wantonness.

MARIA.

Folly in fools bears not so strong a note

As fool’ry in the wise when wit doth dote,

Since all the power thereof it doth apply

To prove, by wit, worth in simplicity.

Enter Boyet.

PRINCESS.

Here comes Boyet, and mirth is in his face.

BOYET.

O, I am stabbed with laughter! Where’s her Grace?

PRINCESS.

Thy news, Boyet?

BOYET.

Prepare, madam, prepare!

Arm, wenches, arm! Encounters mounted are

Against your peace. Love doth approach disguised,

Armed in arguments. You’ll be surprised.

Muster your wits, stand in your own defence,

Or hide your heads like cowards, and fly hence.

PRINCESS.

Saint Denis to Saint Cupid! What are they

That charge their breath against us? Say, scout, say.

BOYET.

Under the cool shade of a sycamore

I thought to close mine eyes some half an hour,

When, lo, to interrupt my purposed rest,

Toward that shade I might behold addressed

The King and his companions. Warily

I stole into a neighbour thicket by,

And overheard what you shall overhear:

That, by and by, disguised they will be here.

Their herald is a pretty knavish page

That well by heart hath conned his embassage.

Action and accent did they teach him there:

“Thus must thou speak,” and “thus thy body bear.”

And ever and anon they made a doubt

Presence majestical would put him out;

“For,” quoth the King, “an angel shalt thou see;

Yet fear not thou, but speak audaciously.”

The boy replied “An angel is not evil;

I should have feared her had she been a devil.”

With that all laughed and clapped him on the shoulder,

Making the bold wag by their praises bolder.

One rubbed his elbow thus, and fleered, and swore

A better speech was never spoke before.

Another with his finger and his thumb

Cried “_Via_, we will do ’t, come what will come.”

The third he capered, and cried “All goes well!”

The fourth turned on the toe, and down he fell.

With that they all did tumble on the ground,

With such a zealous laughter, so profound,

That in this spleen ridiculous appears,

To check their folly, passion’s solemn tears.

PRINCESS.

But what, but what, come they to visit us?

BOYET.

They do, they do, and are apparelled thus,

Like Muscovites, or Russians, as I guess.

Their purpose is to parley, court, and dance,

And every one his love-feat will advance

Unto his several mistress, which they’ll know

By favours several which they did bestow.

PRINCESS.

And will they so? The gallants shall be tasked;

For, ladies, we will every one be masked,

And not a man of them shall have the grace,

Despite of suit, to see a lady’s face.

Hold, Rosaline, this favour thou shalt wear,

And then the King will court thee for his dear.

Hold, take thou this, my sweet, and give me thine,

So shall Berowne take me for Rosaline.

And change you favours too; so shall your loves

Woo contrary, deceived by these removes.

ROSALINE.

Come on, then, wear the favours most in sight.

KATHARINE.

But in this changing, what is your intent?

PRINCESS.

The effect of my intent is to cross theirs.

They do it but in mocking merriment,

And mock for mock is only my intent.

Their several counsels they unbosom shall

To loves mistook, and so be mocked withal

Upon the next occasion that we meet,

With visages displayed to talk and greet.

ROSALINE.

But shall we dance, if they desire us to’t?

PRINCESS.

No, to the death we will not move a foot,

Nor to their penned speech render we no grace,

But while ’tis spoke each turn away her face.

BOYET.

Why, that contempt will kill the speaker’s heart,

And quite divorce his memory from his part.

PRINCESS.

Therefore I do it, and I make no doubt

The rest will ne’er come in, if he be out.

There’s no such sport as sport by sport o’erthrown,

To make theirs ours and ours none but our own.

So shall we stay, mocking intended game,

And they, well mocked, depart away with shame.

[_Sound trumpet, within._]

BOYET.

The trumpet sounds. Be masked; the maskers come.

[_The Ladies mask._]

Enter Blackamoors with music, Moth, with a speech, the King, Berowne,

Longaville and Dumaine disguised.

MOTH.

_All hail, the richest beauties on the earth!_

BOYET.

Beauties no richer than rich taffeta.

MOTH.

_A holy parcel of the fairest dames_

[_The Ladies turn their backs to him._]

_That ever turned their_—backs—_to mortal views!_

BEROWNE.

_Their eyes_, villain, _their eyes._

MOTH.

_That ever turned their eyes to mortal views.

Out_—

BOYET.

True; out indeed.

MOTH.

_Out of your favours, heavenly spirits, vouchsafe

Not to behold_—

BEROWNE.

_Once to behold_, rogue!

MOTH.

_Once to behold with your sun-beamed eyes—

With your sun-beamed eyes_—

BOYET.

They will not answer to that epithet.

You were best call it “daughter-beamed eyes”.

MOTH.

They do not mark me, and that brings me out.

BEROWNE.

Is this your perfectness? Be gone, you rogue!

[_Exit Moth._]

ROSALINE.

What would these strangers? Know their minds, Boyet.

If they do speak our language, ’tis our will

That some plain man recount their purposes.

Know what they would.

BOYET.

What would you with the Princess?

BEROWNE.

Nothing but peace and gentle visitation.

ROSALINE.

What would they, say they?

BOYET.

Nothing but peace and gentle visitation.

ROSALINE.

Why, that they have, and bid them so be gone.

BOYET.

She says you have it, and you may be gone.

KING.

Say to her we have measured many miles

To tread a measure with her on this grass.

BOYET.

They say that they have measured many a mile

To tread a measure with you on this grass.

ROSALINE.

It is not so. Ask them how many inches

Is in one mile? If they have measured many,

The measure then of one is easily told.

BOYET.

If to come hither you have measured miles,

And many miles, the Princess bids you tell

How many inches doth fill up one mile.

BEROWNE.

Tell her we measure them by weary steps.

BOYET.

She hears herself.

ROSALINE.

How many weary steps

Of many weary miles you have o’ergone

Are numbered in the travel of one mile?

BEROWNE.

We number nothing that we spend for you.

Our duty is so rich, so infinite,

That we may do it still without account.

Vouchsafe to show the sunshine of your face,

That we, like savages, may worship it.

ROSALINE.

My face is but a moon, and clouded too.

KING.

Blessed are clouds, to do as such clouds do!

Vouchsafe, bright moon, and these thy stars, to shine,

Those clouds removed, upon our watery eyne.

ROSALINE.

O vain petitioner! Beg a greater matter!

Thou now requests but moonshine in the water.

KING.

Then in our measure do but vouchsafe one change.

Thou bidd’st me beg; this begging is not strange.

ROSALINE.

Play, music, then! Nay, you must do it soon.

[_Music plays._]

Not yet? No dance! Thus change I like the moon.

KING.

Will you not dance? How come you thus estranged?

ROSALINE.

You took the moon at full, but now she’s changed.

KING.

Yet still she is the moon, and I the man.

The music plays, vouchsafe some motion to it.

ROSALINE.

Our ears vouchsafe it.

KING.

But your legs should do it.

ROSALINE.

Since you are strangers and come here by chance,

We’ll not be nice. Take hands. We will not dance.

KING.

Why take we hands then?

ROSALINE.

Only to part friends.

Curtsy, sweet hearts, and so the measure ends.

KING.

More measure of this measure! Be not nice.

ROSALINE.

We can afford no more at such a price.

KING.

Price you yourselves? What buys your company?

ROSALINE.

Your absence only.

KING.

That can never be.

ROSALINE.

Then cannot we be bought. And so adieu—

Twice to your visor, and half once to you!

KING.

If you deny to dance, let’s hold more chat.

ROSALINE.

In private then.

KING.

I am best pleased with that.

[_They converse apart._]

BEROWNE.

White-handed mistress, one sweet word with thee.

PRINCESS.

Honey, and milk, and sugar: there is three.

BEROWNE.

Nay, then, two treys, an if you grow so nice,

Metheglin, wort, and malmsey. Well run, dice!

There’s half a dozen sweets.

PRINCESS.

Seventh sweet, adieu.

Since you can cog, I’ll play no more with you.

BEROWNE.

One word in secret.

PRINCESS.

Let it not be sweet.

BEROWNE.

Thou griev’st my gall.

PRINCESS.

Gall! Bitter.

BEROWNE.

Therefore meet.

[_They converse apart._]

DUMAINE.

Will you vouchsafe with me to change a word?

MARIA.

Name it.

DUMAINE.

Fair lady—

MARIA.

Say you so? Fair lord!

Take that for your “fair lady”.

DUMAINE.

Please it you,

As much in private, and I’ll bid adieu.

[_They converse apart._]

KATHARINE.

What, was your visor made without a tongue?

LONGAVILLE.

I know the reason, lady, why you ask.

KATHARINE.

O, for your reason! Quickly, sir, I long.

LONGAVILLE.

You have a double tongue within your mask,

And would afford my speechless visor half.

KATHARINE.

“Veal”, quoth the Dutchman. Is not veal a calf?

LONGAVILLE.

A calf, fair lady?

KATHARINE.

No, a fair lord calf.

LONGAVILLE.

Let’s part the word.

KATHARINE.

No, I’ll not be your half.

Take all and wean it; it may prove an ox.

LONGAVILLE.

Look how you butt yourself in these sharp mocks.

Will you give horns, chaste lady? Do not so.

KATHARINE.

Then die a calf before your horns do grow.

LONGAVILLE.

One word in private with you ere I die.

KATHARINE.

Bleat softly, then; the butcher hears you cry.

[_They converse apart._]

BOYET.

The tongues of mocking wenches are as keen

As is the razor’s edge invisible,

Cutting a smaller hair than may be seen;

Above the sense of sense, so sensible

Seemeth their conference. Their conceits have wings

Fleeter than arrows, bullets, wind, thought, swifter things.

ROSALINE.

Not one word more, my maids; break off, break off.

BEROWNE.

By heaven, all dry-beaten with pure scoff!

KING.

Farewell, mad wenches. You have simple wits.

[_Exeunt King, Lords and Blackamoors._]

PRINCESS.

Twenty adieus, my frozen Muscovites.

Are these the breed of wits so wondered at?

BOYET.

Tapers they are, with your sweet breaths puffed out.

ROSALINE.

Well-liking wits they have; gross, gross; fat, fat.

PRINCESS.

O poverty in wit, kingly-poor flout!

Will they not, think you, hang themselves tonight?

Or ever but in vizors show their faces?

This pert Berowne was out of countenance quite.

ROSALINE.

They were all in lamentable cases.

The King was weeping-ripe for a good word.

PRINCESS.

Berowne did swear himself out of all suit.

MARIA.

Dumaine was at my service, and his sword.

“_Non point_,” quoth I; my servant straight was mute.

KATHARINE.

Lord Longaville said I came o’er his heart;

And trow you what he called me?

PRINCESS.

Qualm, perhaps.

KATHARINE.

Yes, in good faith.

PRINCESS.

Go, sickness as thou art!

ROSALINE.

Well, better wits have worn plain statute-caps.

But will you hear? The King is my love sworn.

PRINCESS.

And quick Berowne hath plighted faith to me.

KATHARINE.

And Longaville was for my service born.

MARIA.

Dumaine is mine as sure as bark on tree.

BOYET.

Madam, and pretty mistresses, give ear.

Immediately they will again be here

In their own shapes, for it can never be

They will digest this harsh indignity.

PRINCESS.

Will they return?

BOYET.

They will, they will, God knows,

And leap for joy, though they are lame with blows.

Therefore, change favours and, when they repair,

Blow like sweet roses in this summer air.

PRINCESS.

How “blow”? How “blow”? Speak to be understood.

BOYET.

Fair ladies masked are roses in their bud.

Dismasked, their damask sweet commixture shown,

Are angels vailing clouds, or roses blown.

PRINCESS.

Avaunt, perplexity! What shall we do

If they return in their own shapes to woo?

ROSALINE.

Good madam, if by me you’ll be advised,

Let’s mock them still, as well known as disguised.

Let us complain to them what fools were here,

Disguised like Muscovites in shapeless gear;

And wonder what they were, and to what end

Their shallow shows and prologue vilely penned,

And their rough carriage so ridiculous,

Should be presented at our tent to us.

BOYET.

Ladies, withdraw. The gallants are at hand.

PRINCESS.

Whip to our tents, as roes run o’er the land.

[_Exeunt Princess, Rosaline, Katharine and Maria._]

Enter the King, Berowne, Longaville and Dumaine as themselves.

KING.

Fair sir, God save you. Where’s the Princess?

BOYET.

Gone to her tent. Please it your Majesty

Command me any service to her thither?

KING.

That she vouchsafe me audience for one word.

BOYET.

I will; and so will she, I know, my lord.

[_Exit._]

BEROWNE.

This fellow pecks up wit as pigeons peas

And utters it again when God doth please.

He is wit’s pedlar, and retails his wares

At wakes and wassails, meetings, markets, fairs;

And we that sell by gross, the Lord doth know,

Have not the grace to grace it with such show.

This gallant pins the wenches on his sleeve.

Had he been Adam, he had tempted Eve.

He can carve too, and lisp. Why, this is he

That kissed his hand away in courtesy.

This is the ape of form, Monsieur the Nice,

That, when he plays at tables, chides the dice

In honourable terms. Nay, he can sing

A mean most meanly; and in ushering

Mend him who can. The ladies call him sweet.

The stairs, as he treads on them, kiss his feet.

This is the flower that smiles on everyone,

To show his teeth as white as whale’s bone;

And consciences that will not die in debt

Pay him the due of “honey-tongued Boyet”.

KING.

A blister on his sweet tongue, with my heart,

That put Armado’s page out of his part!

Enter the Princess, Rosaline, Maria, Katharine with Boyet.

BEROWNE.

See where it comes! Behaviour, what wert thou

Till this man showed thee, and what art thou now?

KING.

All hail, sweet madam, and fair time of day.

PRINCESS.

“Fair” in “all hail” is foul, as I conceive.

KING.

Construe my speeches better, if you may.

PRINCESS.

Then wish me better. I will give you leave.

KING.

We came to visit you, and purpose now

To lead you to our court. Vouchsafe it then.

PRINCESS.

This field shall hold me, and so hold your vow.

Nor God nor I delights in perjured men.

KING.

Rebuke me not for that which you provoke.

The virtue of your eye must break my oath.

PRINCESS.

You nickname virtue: “vice” you should have spoke;

For virtue’s office never breaks men’s troth.

Now by my maiden honour, yet as pure

As the unsullied lily, I protest,

A world of torments though I should endure,

I would not yield to be your house’s guest,

So much I hate a breaking cause to be

Of heavenly oaths, vowed with integrity.

KING.

O, you have lived in desolation here,

Unseen, unvisited, much to our shame.

PRINCESS.

Not so, my lord. It is not so, I swear.

We have had pastimes here and pleasant game.

A mess of Russians left us but of late.

KING.

How, madam? Russians?

PRINCESS.

Ay, in truth, my lord.

Trim gallants, full of courtship and of state.

ROSALINE.

Madam, speak true. It is not so, my lord.

My lady, to the manner of the days,

In courtesy gives undeserving praise.

We four indeed confronted were with four

In Russian habit. Here they stayed an hour

And talked apace; and in that hour, my lord,

They did not bless us with one happy word.

I dare not call them fools; but this I think,

When they are thirsty, fools would fain have drink.

BEROWNE.

This jest is dry to me. My gentle sweet,

Your wit makes wise things foolish. When we greet,

With eyes’ best seeing, heaven’s fiery eye,

By light we lose light. Your capacity

Is of that nature that to your huge store

Wise things seem foolish and rich things but poor.

ROSALINE.

This proves you wise and rich, for in my eye—

BEROWNE.

I am a fool, and full of poverty.

ROSALINE.

But that you take what doth to you belong,

It were a fault to snatch words from my tongue.

BEROWNE.

O, I am yours, and all that I possess.

ROSALINE.

All the fool mine?

BEROWNE.

I cannot give you less.

ROSALINE.

Which of the visors was it that you wore?

BEROWNE.

Where, when, what visor? Why demand you this?

ROSALINE.

There, then, that visor; that superfluous case

That hid the worse and showed the better face.

KING.

We are descried. They’ll mock us now downright.

DUMAINE.

Let us confess and turn it to a jest.

PRINCESS.

Amazed, my lord? Why looks your Highness sad?

ROSALINE.

Help! Hold his brows! He’ll swoon. Why look you pale?

Seasick, I think, coming from Muscovy.

BEROWNE.

Thus pour the stars down plagues for perjury.

Can any face of brass hold longer out?

Here stand I, lady; dart thy skill at me.

Bruise me with scorn, confound me with a flout,

Thrust thy sharp wit quite through my ignorance,

Cut me to pieces with thy keen conceit,

And I will wish thee never more to dance,

Nor never more in Russian habit wait.

O, never will I trust to speeches penned,

Nor to the motion of a school-boy’s tongue,

Nor never come in visor to my friend,

Nor woo in rhyme like a blind harper’s song.

Taffeta phrases, silken terms precise,

Three-piled hyperboles, spruce affectation,

Figures pedantical: these summer flies

Have blown me full of maggot ostentation.

I do forswear them, and I here protest,

By this white glove—how white the hand, God knows!—

Henceforth my wooing mind shall be expressed

In russet yeas and honest kersey noes.

And, to begin: wench, so God help me, law,

My love to thee is sound, _sans_ crack or flaw.

ROSALINE.

_Sans_ “_sans_,” I pray you.

BEROWNE.

Yet I have a trick

Of the old rage. Bear with me, I am sick;

I’ll leave it by degrees. Soft, let us see:

Write “Lord have mercy on us” on those three.

They are infected; in their hearts it lies;

They have the plague, and caught it of your eyes.

These lords are visited. You are not free,

For the Lord’s tokens on you do I see.

PRINCESS.

No, they are free that gave these tokens to us.

BEROWNE.

Our states are forfeit. Seek not to undo us.

ROSALINE.

It is not so. For how can this be true,

That you stand forfeit, being those that sue?

BEROWNE.

Peace! for I will not have to do with you.

ROSALINE.

Nor shall not, if I do as I intend.

BEROWNE.

Speak for yourselves. My wit is at an end.

KING.

Teach us, sweet madam, for our rude transgression

Some fair excuse.

PRINCESS.

The fairest is confession.

Were not you here but even now, disguised?

KING.

Madam, I was.

PRINCESS.

And were you well advised?

KING.

I was, fair madam.

PRINCESS.

When you then were here,

What did you whisper in your lady’s ear?

KING.

That more than all the world I did respect her.

PRINCESS.

When she shall challenge this, you will reject her.

KING.

Upon mine honour, no.

PRINCESS.

Peace, peace, forbear!

Your oath once broke, you force not to forswear.

KING.

Despise me when I break this oath of mine.

PRINCESS.

I will; and therefore keep it. Rosaline,

What did the Russian whisper in your ear?

ROSALINE.

Madam, he swore that he did hold me dear

As precious eyesight, and did value me

Above this world; adding thereto, moreover,

That he would wed me, or else die my lover.

PRINCESS.

God give thee joy of him! The noble lord

Most honourably doth uphold his word.

KING.

What mean you, madam? By my life, my troth,

I never swore this lady such an oath.

ROSALINE.

By heaven, you did! And to confirm it plain,

You gave me this. But take it, sir, again.

KING.

My faith and this the Princess I did give.

I knew her by this jewel on her sleeve.

PRINCESS.

Pardon me, sir, this jewel did she wear,

And Lord Berowne, I thank him, is my dear.

What, will you have me, or your pearl again?

BEROWNE.

Neither of either; I remit both twain.

I see the trick on’t. Here was a consent,

Knowing aforehand of our merriment,

To dash it like a Christmas comedy.

Some carry-tale, some please-man, some slight zany,

Some mumble-news, some trencher-knight, some Dick,

That smiles his cheek in years and knows the trick

To make my lady laugh when she’s disposed,

Told our intents before; which once disclosed,

The ladies did change favours, and then we,

Following the signs, wooed but the sign of she.

Now, to our perjury to add more terror,

We are again forsworn in will and error.

Much upon this ’tis. [_To Boyet_.] And might not you

Forestall our sport, to make us thus untrue?

Do not you know my lady’s foot by th’ squier,

And laugh upon the apple of her eye?

And stand between her back, sir, and the fire,

Holding a trencher, jesting merrily?

You put our page out. Go, you are allowed;

Die when you will, a smock shall be your shroud.

You leer upon me, do you? There’s an eye

Wounds like a leaden sword.

BOYET.

Full merrily

Hath this brave manage, this career, been run.

BEROWNE.

Lo, he is tilting straight! Peace! I have done.

Enter Costard.

Welcome, pure wit! Thou part’st a fair fray.

COSTARD.

O Lord, sir, they would know

Whether the three Worthies shall come in or no.

BEROWNE.

What, are there but three?

COSTARD.

No, sir; but it is vara fine,

For every one pursents three.

BEROWNE.

And three times thrice is nine.

COSTARD.

Not so, sir, under correction, sir, I hope it is not so.

You cannot beg us, sir, I can assure you, sir; we know what we know.

I hope, sir, three times thrice, sir—

BEROWNE.

Is not nine?

COSTARD.

Under correction, sir, we know whereuntil it doth amount.

BEROWNE.

By Jove, I always took three threes for nine.

COSTARD.

O Lord, sir, it were pity you should get your living by reckoning, sir.

BEROWNE.

How much is it?

COSTARD.

O Lord, sir, the parties themselves, the actors, sir, will show

whereuntil it doth amount. For mine own part, I am, as they say, but to

parfect one man in one poor man—Pompion the Great, sir.

BEROWNE.

Art thou one of the Worthies?

COSTARD.

It pleased them to think me worthy of Pompey the Great. For mine own

part, I know not the degree of the Worthy, but I am to stand for him.

BEROWNE.

Go bid them prepare.

COSTARD.

We will turn it finely off, sir; we will take some care.

[_Exit Costard._]

KING.

Berowne, they will shame us. Let them not approach.

BEROWNE.

We are shame-proof, my lord, and ’tis some policy

To have one show worse than the King’s and his company.

KING.

I say they shall not come.

PRINCESS.

Nay, my good lord, let me o’errule you now.

That sport best pleases that doth least know how,

Where zeal strives to content, and the contents

Die in the zeal of that which it presents;

Their form confounded makes most form in mirth,

When great things labouring perish in their birth.

BEROWNE.

A right description of our sport, my lord.

Enter Armado, the Braggart.

ARMADO.

Anointed, I implore so much expense of thy royal sweet breath as will

utter a brace of words.

[_Armado and King talk apart._]

PRINCESS.

Doth this man serve God?

BEROWNE.

Why ask you?

PRINCESS.

He speaks not like a man of God his making.

ARMADO.

That is all one, my fair, sweet, honey monarch; for, I protest, the

schoolmaster is exceeding fantastical; too, too vain, too, too vain.

But we will put it, as they say, to _fortuna de la guerra_. I wish you

the peace of mind, most royal couplement!

[_Exit._]

KING.

Here is like to be a good presence of Worthies. He presents Hector of

Troy; the swain, Pompey the Great; the parish curate, Alexander;

Armado’s page, Hercules; the pedant, Judas Maccabaeus.

_And if these four Worthies in their first show thrive,

These four will change habits and present the other five._

BEROWNE.

There is five in the first show.

KING.

You are deceived. ’Tis not so.

BEROWNE.

The pedant, the braggart, the hedge-priest, the fool, and the boy.

Abate throw at novum, and the whole world again

Cannot pick out five such, take each one in his vein.

KING.

The ship is under sail, and here she comes amain.

Enter Costard as Pompey.

COSTARD.

_I Pompey am_—

BEROWNE.

You lie, you are not he.

COSTARD.

_I Pompey am_—

BOYET.

With leopard’s head on knee.

BEROWNE.

Well said, old mocker. I must needs be friends with thee.

COSTARD.

_I Pompey am, Pompey surnamed the Big._

DUMAINE.

The “Great”.

COSTARD.

It is “Great”, sir; _Pompey surnamed the Great,

That oft in field, with targe and shield, did make my foe to sweat.

And travelling along this coast, I here am come by chance,

And lay my arms before the legs of this sweet lass of France._

If your ladyship would say, “Thanks, Pompey”, I had done.

PRINCESS.

Great thanks, great Pompey.

COSTARD.

’Tis not so much worth; but I hope I was perfect. I made a little fault

in “Great”.

BEROWNE.

My hat to a halfpenny, Pompey proves the best Worthy.

Enter Nathaniel, the Curate, for Alexander.

NATHANIEL.

_When in the world I lived, I was the world’s commander;

By east, west, north, and south, I spread my conquering might.

My scutcheon plain declares that I am Alisander._

BOYET.

Your nose says, no, you are not; for it stands to right.

BEROWNE.

Your nose smells “no” in this, most tender-smelling knight.

PRINCESS.

The conqueror is dismayed. Proceed, good Alexander.

NATHANIEL.

_When in the world I lived, I was the world’s commander_—

BOYET.

Most true; ’tis right. You were so, Alisander.

BEROWNE.

Pompey the Great—

COSTARD.

Your servant, and Costard.

BEROWNE.

Take away the conqueror, take away Alisander.

COSTARD.

[_To Sir Nathaniel_.] O sir, you have overthrown Alisander the

Conqueror. You will be scraped out of the painted cloth for this. Your

lion, that holds his pole-axe sitting on a close-stool, will be given

to Ajax. He will be the ninth Worthy. A conqueror, and afeard to speak?

Run away for shame, Alisander. [_Nathaniel retires_.] There, an’t shall

please you, a foolish mild man; an honest man, look you, and soon

dashed. He is a marvellous good neighbour, faith, and a very good

bowler; but for Alisander, alas you see how ’tis—a little o’erparted.

But there are Worthies a-coming will speak their mind in some other

sort.

PRINCESS.

Stand aside, good Pompey.

Enter Holofernes, the Pedant, as Judas, and Moth, the Boy, as Hercules.

HOLOFERNES.

_Great Hercules is presented by this imp,

Whose club killed Cerberus, that three-headed_ canus,

_And when he was a babe, a child, a shrimp,

Thus did he strangle serpents in his_ manus.

Quoniam _he seemeth in minority_,

Ergo _I come with this apology._

Keep some state in thy exit, and vanish.

[_Moth retires._]

_Judas I am._—

DUMAINE.

A Judas!

HOLOFERNES.

Not Iscariot, sir.

_Judas I am, ycleped Maccabaeus._

DUMAINE.

Judas Maccabaeus clipped is plain Judas.

BEROWNE.

A kissing traitor. How art thou proved Judas?

HOLOFERNES.

_Judas I am_—

DUMAINE.

The more shame for you, Judas.

HOLOFERNES.

What mean you, sir?

BOYET.

To make Judas hang himself.

HOLOFERNES.

Begin, sir; you are my elder.

BEROWNE.

Well followed. Judas was hanged on an elder.

HOLOFERNES.

I will not be put out of countenance.

BEROWNE.

Because thou hast no face.

HOLOFERNES.

What is this?

BOYET.

A cittern-head.

DUMAINE.

The head of a bodkin.

BEROWNE.

A death’s face in a ring.

LONGAVILLE.

The face of an old Roman coin, scarce seen.

BOYET.

The pommel of Caesar’s falchion.

DUMAINE.

The carved-bone face on a flask.

BEROWNE.

Saint George’s half-cheek in a brooch.

DUMAINE.

Ay, and in a brooch of lead.

BEROWNE.

Ay, and worn in the cap of a tooth-drawer.

And now forward, for we have put thee in countenance.

HOLOFERNES.

You have put me out of countenance.

BEROWNE.

False. We have given thee faces.

HOLOFERNES.

But you have outfaced them all.

BEROWNE.

An thou wert a lion, we would do so.

BOYET.

Therefore, as he is an ass, let him go.

And so adieu, sweet Jude. Nay, why dost thou stay?

DUMAINE.

For the latter end of his name.

BEROWNE.

For the ass to the Jude? Give it him. Jud-as, away!

HOLOFERNES.

This is not generous, not gentle, not humble.

BOYET.

A light for Monsieur Judas! It grows dark; he may stumble.

[_Exit Holofernes._]

PRINCESS.

Alas, poor Maccabaeus, how hath he been baited!

Enter Armado, the Braggart, as Hector.

BEROWNE.

Hide thy head, Achilles. Here comes Hector in arms.

DUMAINE.

Though my mocks come home by me, I will now be merry.

KING.

Hector was but a Trojan in respect of this.

BOYET.

But is this Hector?

DUMAINE.

I think Hector was not so clean-timbered.

LONGAVILLE.

His leg is too big for Hector’s.

DUMAINE.

More calf, certain.

BOYET.

No, he is best endued in the small.

BEROWNE.

This cannot be Hector.

DUMAINE.

He’s a god or a painter, for he makes faces.

ARMADO.

_The armipotent Mars, of lances the almighty,

Gave Hector a gift_—

DUMAINE.

A gilt nutmeg.

BEROWNE.

A lemon.

LONGAVILLE.

Stuck with cloves.

DUMAINE.

No, cloven.

ARMADO.

Peace!

_The armipotent Mars, of lances the almighty,

Gave Hector a gift, the heir of Ilion;

A man so breathed that certain he would fight, yea,

From morn till night, out of his pavilion.

I am that flower_—

DUMAINE.

That mint.

LONGAVILLE.

That columbine.

ARMADO.

Sweet Lord Longaville, rein thy tongue.

LONGAVILLE.

I must rather give it the rein, for it runs against Hector.

DUMAINE.

Ay, and Hector’s a greyhound.

ARMADO.

The sweet war-man is dead and rotten. Sweet chucks, beat not the bones

of the buried. When he breathed, he was a man. But I will forward with

my device. [_To the Princess_.] Sweet royalty, bestow on me the sense

of hearing.

PRINCESS.

Speak, brave Hector; we are much delighted.

ARMADO.

I do adore thy sweet Grace’s slipper.

BOYET.

Loves her by the foot.

DUMAINE.

He may not by the yard.

ARMADO.

_This Hector far surmounted Hannibal.

The party is gone_—

COSTARD.

Fellow Hector, she is gone; she is two months on her way.

ARMADO.

What meanest thou?

COSTARD.

Faith, unless you play the honest Trojan, the poor wench is cast away.

She’s quick; the child brags in her belly already. ’Tis yours.

ARMADO.

Dost thou infamonize me among potentates? Thou shalt die.

COSTARD.

Then shall Hector be whipped for Jaquenetta that is quick by him, and

hanged for Pompey that is dead by him.

DUMAINE.

Most rare Pompey!

BOYET.

Renowned Pompey!

BEROWNE.

Greater than “Great”! Great, great, great Pompey! Pompey the Huge!

DUMAINE.

Hector trembles.

BEROWNE.

Pompey is moved. More Ates, more Ates! Stir them on, stir them on!

DUMAINE.

Hector will challenge him.

BEROWNE.

Ay, if he have no more man’s blood in his belly than will sup a flea.

ARMADO.

By the north pole, I do challenge thee.

COSTARD.

I will not fight with a pole, like a northern man. I’ll slash, I’ll do

it by the sword. I bepray you, let me borrow my arms again.

DUMAINE.

Room for the incensed Worthies!

COSTARD.

I’ll do it in my shirt.

DUMAINE.

Most resolute Pompey!

MOTH.

Master, let me take you a buttonhole lower. Do you not see Pompey is

uncasing for the combat? What mean you? You will lose your reputation.

ARMADO.

Gentlemen and soldiers, pardon me. I will not combat in my shirt.

DUMAINE.

You may not deny it. Pompey hath made the challenge.

ARMADO.

Sweet bloods, I both may and will.

BEROWNE.

What reason have you for ’t?

ARMADO.

The naked truth of it is, I have no shirt. I go woolward for penance.

BOYET.

True, and it was enjoined him in Rome for want of linen; since when,

I’ll be sworn, he wore none but a dishclout of Jaquenetta’s, and that

he wears next his heart for a favour.

Enter a Messenger, Monsieur Marcadé.

MARCADÉ.

God save you, madam.

PRINCESS.

Welcome, Marcadé,

But that thou interruptest our merriment.

MARCADÉ.

I am sorry, madam, for the news I bring

Is heavy in my tongue. The King your father—

PRINCESS.

Dead, for my life!

MARCADÉ.

Even so. My tale is told.

BEROWNE.

Worthies away! The scene begins to cloud.

ARMADO.

For mine own part, I breathe free breath. I have seen the day of wrong

through the little hole of discretion, and I will right myself like a

soldier.

[_Exeunt Worthies._]

KING.

How fares your Majesty?

PRINCESS.

Boyet, prepare. I will away tonight.

KING.

Madam, not so. I do beseech you stay.

PRINCESS.

Prepare, I say. I thank you, gracious lords,

For all your fair endeavours, and entreat,

Out of a new-sad soul, that you vouchsafe

In your rich wisdom to excuse or hide

The liberal opposition of our spirits,

If over-boldly we have borne ourselves

In the converse of breath; your gentleness

Was guilty of it. Farewell, worthy lord!

A heavy heart bears not a nimble tongue.

Excuse me so, coming too short of thanks

For my great suit so easily obtained.

KING.

The extreme parts of time extremely forms

All causes to the purpose of his speed,

And often at his very loose decides

That which long process could not arbitrate.

And though the mourning brow of progeny

Forbid the smiling courtesy of love

The holy suit which fain it would convince,

Yet, since love’s argument was first on foot,

Let not the cloud of sorrow jostle it

From what it purposed; since to wail friends lost

Is not by much so wholesome-profitable

As to rejoice at friends but newly found.

PRINCESS.

I understand you not. My griefs are double.

BEROWNE.

Honest plain words best pierce the ear of grief;

And by these badges understand the King.

For your fair sakes have we neglected time,

Played foul play with our oaths. Your beauty, ladies,

Hath much deformed us, fashioning our humours

Even to the opposed end of our intents;

And what in us hath seemed ridiculous—

As love is full of unbefitting strains,

All wanton as a child, skipping and vain,

Formed by the eye and therefore, like the eye,

Full of strange shapes, of habits and of forms,

Varying in subjects as the eye doth roll

To every varied object in his glance;

Which parti-coated presence of loose love

Put on by us, if, in your heavenly eyes,

Have misbecomed our oaths and gravities,

Those heavenly eyes that look into these faults

Suggested us to make. Therefore, ladies,

Our love being yours, the error that love makes

Is likewise yours. We to ourselves prove false

By being once false for ever to be true

To those that make us both—fair ladies, you.

And even that falsehood, in itself a sin,

Thus purifies itself and turns to grace.

PRINCESS.

We have received your letters, full of love;

Your favours, the ambassadors of love;

And in our maiden council rated them

At courtship, pleasant jest, and courtesy,

As bombast and as lining to the time.

But more devout than this in our respects

Have we not been; and therefore met your loves

In their own fashion, like a merriment.

DUMAINE.

Our letters, madam, showed much more than jest.

LONGAVILLE.

So did our looks.

ROSALINE.

We did not quote them so.

KING.

Now, at the latest minute of the hour,

Grant us your loves.

PRINCESS.

A time, methinks, too short

To make a world-without-end bargain in.

No, no, my lord, your Grace is perjured much,

Full of dear guiltiness; and therefore this:

If for my love—as there is no such cause—

You will do aught, this shall you do for me:

Your oath I will not trust, but go with speed

To some forlorn and naked hermitage,

Remote from all the pleasures of the world,

There stay until the twelve celestial signs

Have brought about the annual reckoning.

If this austere insociable life

Change not your offer made in heat of blood;

If frosts and fasts, hard lodging and thin weeds,

Nip not the gaudy blossoms of your love,

But that it bear this trial, and last love;

Then, at the expiration of the year,

Come challenge me, challenge me by these deserts,

And, by this virgin palm now kissing thine,

I will be thine. And, till that instance, shut

My woeful self up in a mournful house,

Raining the tears of lamentation

For the remembrance of my father’s death.

If this thou do deny, let our hands part,

Neither entitled in the other’s heart.

KING.

If this, or more than this, I would deny,

To flatter up these powers of mine with rest,

The sudden hand of death close up mine eye!

Hence hermit, then. My heart is in thy breast.

[_They converse apart_]

DUMAINE.

And what to me, my love? But what to me?

A wife?

KATHARINE.

A beard, fair health, and honesty;

With threefold love I wish you all these three.

DUMAINE.

O, shall I say, “I thank you, gentle wife”?

KATHARINE.

No so, my lord. A twelvemonth and a day

I’ll mark no words that smooth-faced wooers say.

Come when the King doth to my lady come;

Then, if I have much love, I’ll give you some.

DUMAINE.

I’ll serve thee true and faithfully till then.

KATHARINE.

Yet swear not, lest ye be forsworn again.

[_They converse apart_]

LONGAVILLE.

What says Maria?

MARIA.

At the twelvemonth’s end

I’ll change my black gown for a faithful friend.

LONGAVILLE.

I’ll stay with patience, but the time is long.

MARIA.

The liker you; few taller are so young.

[_They converse apart_]

BEROWNE.

Studies my lady? Mistress, look on me.

Behold the window of my heart, mine eye,

What humble suit attends thy answer there.

Impose some service on me for thy love.

ROSALINE.

Oft have I heard of you, my Lord Berowne,

Before I saw you; and the world’s large tongue

Proclaims you for a man replete with mocks,

Full of comparisons and wounding flouts,

Which you on all estates will execute

That lie within the mercy of your wit.

To weed this wormwood from your fruitful brain,

And therewithal to win me, if you please,

Without the which I am not to be won,

You shall this twelvemonth term from day to day

Visit the speechless sick, and still converse

With groaning wretches; and your task shall be,

With all the fierce endeavour of your wit

To enforce the pained impotent to smile.

BEROWNE.

To move wild laughter in the throat of death?

It cannot be, it is impossible.

Mirth cannot move a soul in agony.

ROSALINE.

Why, that’s the way to choke a gibing spirit,

Whose influence is begot of that loose grace

Which shallow laughing hearers give to fools.

A jest’s prosperity lies in the ear

Of him that hears it, never in the tongue

Of him that makes it. Then, if sickly ears,

Deafed with the clamours of their own dear groans,

Will hear your idle scorns, continue then,

And I will have you and that fault withal;

But if they will not, throw away that spirit,

And I shall find you empty of that fault,

Right joyful of your reformation.

BEROWNE.

A twelvemonth? Well, befall what will befall,

I’ll jest a twelvemonth in an hospital.

PRINCESS.

[_To the King_.] Ay, sweet my lord, and so I take my leave.

KING.

No, madam, we will bring you on your way.

BEROWNE.

Our wooing doth not end like an old play.

Jack hath not Jill. These ladies’ courtesy

Might well have made our sport a comedy.

KING.

Come, sir, it wants a twelvemonth and a day,

And then ’twill end.

BEROWNE.

That’s too long for a play.

Enter Armado, the Braggart.

ARMADO.

Sweet Majesty, vouchsafe me—

PRINCESS.

Was not that Hector?

DUMAINE.

The worthy knight of Troy.

ARMADO.

I will kiss thy royal finger, and take leave. I am a votary; I have

vowed to Jaquenetta to hold the plough for her sweet love three year.

But, most esteemed Greatness, will you hear the dialogue that the two

learned men have compiled in praise of the owl and the cuckoo? It

should have followed in the end of our show.

KING.

Call them forth quickly; we will do so.

ARMADO.

Holla! Approach.

Enter all.

This side is _Hiems_, Winter; this _Ver_, the Spring; the one

maintained by the owl, th’ other by the cuckoo. _Ver_, begin.

The Song

SPRING.

When daisies pied and violets blue

And lady-smocks all silver-white

And cuckoo-buds of yellow hue

Do paint the meadows with delight,

The cuckoo then on every tree

Mocks married men; for thus sings he:

“Cuckoo!

Cuckoo, cuckoo!” O, word of fear,

Unpleasing to a married ear.

When shepherds pipe on oaten straws,

And merry larks are ploughmen’s clocks,

When turtles tread, and rooks and daws,

And maidens bleach their summer smocks,

The cuckoo then, on every tree,

Mocks married men, for thus sings he:

“Cuckoo!

Cuckoo, cuckoo!” O, word of fear,

Unpleasing to a married ear.

WINTER.

When icicles hang by the wall,

And Dick the shepherd blows his nail,

And Tom bears logs into the hall,

And milk comes frozen home in pail,

When blood is nipped, and ways be foul,

Then nightly sings the staring owl:

“Tu-whit, Tu-whoo!” A merry note,

While greasy Joan doth keel the pot.

When all aloud the wind doth blow,

And coughing drowns the parson’s saw,

And birds sit brooding in the snow,

And Marian’s nose looks red and raw,

When roasted crabs hiss in the bowl,

Then nightly sings the staring owl:

“Tu-whit, Tu-whoo!” A merry note,

While greasy Joan doth keel the pot.

ARMADO.

The words of Mercury are harsh after the songs of Apollo.

You that way, we this way.

[_Exeunt._]

Play 17. THE T