Bab Bab 2 · The emperor of Lilliput, attended by several of the nobility, comes to

. The emperor of Lilliput, attended by several of the nobility, comes to

see the author in his confinement. The emperor’s person and habit

described. Learned men appointed to teach the author their language. He

gains favour by his mild disposition. His pockets are searched, and his

sword and pistols taken from him.

When I found myself on my feet, I looked about me, and must confess I

never beheld a more entertaining prospect. The country around appeared

like a continued garden, and the enclosed fields, which were generally

forty feet square, resembled so many beds of flowers. These fields were

intermingled with woods of half a stang, [301] and the tallest trees,

as I could judge, appeared to be seven feet high. I viewed the town on

my left hand, which looked like the painted scene of a city in a

theatre.

I had been for some hours extremely pressed by the necessities of

nature; which was no wonder, it being almost two days since I had last

disburdened myself. I was under great difficulties between urgency and

shame. The best expedient I could think of, was to creep into my house,

which I accordingly did; and shutting the gate after me, I went as far

as the length of my chain would suffer, and discharged my body of that

uneasy load. But this was the only time I was ever guilty of so

uncleanly an action; for which I cannot but hope the candid reader will

give some allowance, after he has maturely and impartially considered

my case, and the distress I was in. From this time my constant practice

was, as soon as I rose, to perform that business in open air, at the

full extent of my chain; and due care was taken every morning before

company came, that the offensive matter should be carried off in

wheel-barrows, by two servants appointed for that purpose. I would not

have dwelt so long upon a circumstance that, perhaps, at first sight,

may appear not very momentous, if I had not thought it necessary to

justify my character, in point of cleanliness, to the world; which, I

am told, some of my maligners have been pleased, upon this and other

occasions, to call in question.

When this adventure was at an end, I came back out of my house, having

occasion for fresh air. The emperor was already descended from the

tower, and advancing on horseback towards me, which had like to have

cost him dear; for the beast, though very well trained, yet wholly

unused to such a sight, which appeared as if a mountain moved before

him, reared up on its hinder feet: but that prince, who is an excellent

horseman, kept his seat, till his attendants ran in, and held the

bridle, while his majesty had time to dismount. When he alighted, he

surveyed me round with great admiration; but kept beyond the length of

my chain. He ordered his cooks and butlers, who were already prepared,

to give me victuals and drink, which they pushed forward in a sort of

vehicles upon wheels, till I could reach them. I took these vehicles

and soon emptied them all; twenty of them were filled with meat, and

ten with liquor; each of the former afforded me two or three good

mouthfuls; and I emptied the liquor of ten vessels, which was contained

in earthen vials, into one vehicle, drinking it off at a draught; and

so I did with the rest. The empress, and young princes of the blood of

both sexes, attended by many ladies, sat at some distance in their

chairs; but upon the accident that happened to the emperor’s horse,

they alighted, and came near his person, which I am now going to

describe. He is taller by almost the breadth of my nail, than any of

his court; which alone is enough to strike an awe into the beholders.

His features are strong and masculine, with an Austrian lip and arched

nose, his complexion olive, his countenance erect, his body and limbs

well proportioned, all his motions graceful, and his deportment

majestic. He was then past his prime, being twenty-eight years and

three quarters old, of which he had reigned about seven in great

felicity, and generally victorious. For the better convenience of

beholding him, I lay on my side, so that my face was parallel to his,

and he stood but three yards off: however, I have had him since many

times in my hand, and therefore cannot be deceived in the description.

His dress was very plain and simple, and the fashion of it between the

Asiatic and the European; but he had on his head a light helmet of

gold, adorned with jewels, and a plume on the crest. He held his sword

drawn in his hand to defend himself, if I should happen to break loose;

it was almost three inches long; the hilt and scabbard were gold

enriched with diamonds. His voice was shrill, but very clear and

articulate; and I could distinctly hear it when I stood up. The ladies

and courtiers were all most magnificently clad; so that the spot they

stood upon seemed to resemble a petticoat spread upon the ground,

embroidered with figures of gold and silver. His imperial majesty spoke

often to me, and I returned answers: but neither of us could understand

a syllable. There were several of his priests and lawyers present (as I

conjectured by their habits), who were commanded to address themselves

to me; and I spoke to them in as many languages as I had the least

smattering of, which were High and Low Dutch, Latin, French, Spanish,

Italian, and Lingua Franca, but all to no purpose. After about two

hours the court retired, and I was left with a strong guard, to prevent

the impertinence, and probably the malice of the rabble, who were very

impatient to crowd about me as near as they durst; and some of them had

the impudence to shoot their arrows at me, as I sat on the ground by

the door of my house, whereof one very narrowly missed my left eye. But

the colonel ordered six of the ringleaders to be seized, and thought no

punishment so proper as to deliver them bound into my hands; which some

of his soldiers accordingly did, pushing them forward with the

butt-ends of their pikes into my reach. I took them all in my right

hand, put five of them into my coat-pocket; and as to the sixth, I made

a countenance as if I would eat him alive. The poor man squalled

terribly, and the colonel and his officers were in much pain,

especially when they saw me take out my penknife: but I soon put them

out of fear; for, looking mildly, and immediately cutting the strings

he was bound with, I set him gently on the ground, and away he ran. I

treated the rest in the same manner, taking them one by one out of my

pocket; and I observed both the soldiers and people were highly

delighted at this mark of my clemency, which was represented very much

to my advantage at court.

Towards night I got with some difficulty into my house, where I lay on

the ground, and continued to do so about a fortnight; during which

time, the emperor gave orders to have a bed prepared for me. Six

hundred beds of the common measure were brought in carriages, and

worked up in my house; a hundred and fifty of their beds, sewn

together, made up the breadth and length; and these were four double:

which, however, kept me but very indifferently from the hardness of the

floor, that was of smooth stone. By the same computation, they provided

me with sheets, blankets, and coverlets, tolerable enough for one who

had been so long inured to hardships.

As the news of my arrival spread through the kingdom, it brought

prodigious numbers of rich, idle, and curious people to see me; so that

the villages were almost emptied; and great neglect of tillage and

household affairs must have ensued, if his imperial majesty had not

provided, by several proclamations and orders of state, against this

inconveniency. He directed that those who had already beheld me should

return home, and not presume to come within fifty yards of my house,

without license from the court; whereby the secretaries of state got

considerable fees.

In the mean time the emperor held frequent councils, to debate what

course should be taken with me; and I was afterwards assured by a

particular friend, a person of great quality, who was as much in the

secret as any, that the court was under many difficulties concerning

me. They apprehended my breaking loose; that my diet would be very

expensive, and might cause a famine. Sometimes they determined to

starve me; or at least to shoot me in the face and hands with poisoned

arrows, which would soon despatch me; but again they considered, that

the stench of so large a carcass might produce a plague in the

metropolis, and probably spread through the whole kingdom. In the midst

of these consultations, several officers of the army went to the door

of the great council-chamber, and two of them being admitted, gave an

account of my behaviour to the six criminals above-mentioned; which

made so favourable an impression in the breast of his majesty and the

whole board, in my behalf, that an imperial commission was issued out,

obliging all the villages, nine hundred yards round the city, to

deliver in every morning six beeves, forty sheep, and other victuals

for my sustenance; together with a proportionable quantity of bread,

and wine, and other liquors; for the due payment of which, his majesty

gave assignments upon his treasury:—for this prince lives chiefly upon

his own demesnes; seldom, except upon great occasions, raising any

subsidies upon his subjects, who are bound to attend him in his wars at

their own expense. An establishment was also made of six hundred

persons to be my domestics, who had board-wages allowed for their

maintenance, and tents built for them very conveniently on each side of

my door. It was likewise ordered, that three hundred tailors should

make me a suit of clothes, after the fashion of the country; that six

of his majesty’s greatest scholars should be employed to instruct me in

their language; and lastly, that the emperor’s horses, and those of the

nobility and troops of guards, should be frequently exercised in my

sight, to accustom themselves to me. All these orders were duly put in

execution; and in about three weeks I made a great progress in learning

their language; during which time the emperor frequently honoured me

with his visits, and was pleased to assist my masters in teaching me.

We began already to converse together in some sort; and the first words

I learnt, were to express my desire “that he would please give me my

liberty;” which I every day repeated on my knees. His answer, as I

could comprehend it, was, “that this must be a work of time, not to be

thought on without the advice of his council, and that first I must

_lumos kelmin pesso desmar lon emposo_;” that is, swear a peace with

him and his kingdom. However, that I should be used with all kindness.

And he advised me to “acquire, by my patience and discreet behaviour,

the good opinion of himself and his subjects.” He desired “I would not

take it ill, if he gave orders to certain proper officers to search me;

for probably I might carry about me several weapons, which must needs

be dangerous things, if they answered the bulk of so prodigious a

person.” I said, “His majesty should be satisfied; for I was ready to

strip myself, and turn up my pockets before him.” This I delivered part

in words, and part in signs. He replied, “that, by the laws of the

kingdom, I must be searched by two of his officers; that he knew this

could not be done without my consent and assistance; and he had so good

an opinion of my generosity and justice, as to trust their persons in

my hands; that whatever they took from me, should be returned when I

left the country, or paid for at the rate which I would set upon them.”

I took up the two officers in my hands, put them first into my

coat-pockets, and then into every other pocket about me, except my two

fobs, and another secret pocket, which I had no mind should be

searched, wherein I had some little necessaries that were of no

consequence to any but myself. In one of my fobs there was a silver

watch, and in the other a small quantity of gold in a purse. These

gentlemen, having pen, ink, and paper, about them, made an exact

inventory of every thing they saw; and when they had done, desired I

would set them down, that they might deliver it to the emperor. This

inventory I afterwards translated into English, and is, word for word,

as follows:

“_Imprimis_: In the right coat-pocket of the great man-mountain” (for

so I interpret the words _quinbus flestrin_,) “after the strictest

search, we found only one great piece of coarse-cloth, large enough to

be a foot-cloth for your majesty’s chief room of state. In the left

pocket we saw a huge silver chest, with a cover of the same metal,

which we, the searchers, were not able to lift. We desired it should be

opened, and one of us stepping into it, found himself up to the mid leg

in a sort of dust, some part whereof flying up to our faces set us both

a sneezing for several times together. In his right waistcoat-pocket we

found a prodigious bundle of white thin substances, folded one over

another, about the bigness of three men, tied with a strong cable, and

marked with black figures; which we humbly conceive to be writings,

every letter almost half as large as the palm of our hands. In the left

there was a sort of engine, from the back of which were extended twenty

long poles, resembling the pallisados before your majesty’s court:

wherewith we conjecture the man-mountain combs his head; for we did not

always trouble him with questions, because we found it a great

difficulty to make him understand us. In the large pocket, on the right

side of his middle cover” (so I translate the word _ranfulo_, by which

they meant my breeches,) “we saw a hollow pillar of iron, about the

length of a man, fastened to a strong piece of timber larger than the

pillar; and upon one side of the pillar, were huge pieces of iron

sticking out, cut into strange figures, which we know not what to make

of. In the left pocket, another engine of the same kind. In the smaller

pocket on the right side, were several round flat pieces of white and

red metal, of different bulk; some of the white, which seemed to be

silver, were so large and heavy, that my comrade and I could hardly

lift them. In the left pocket were two black pillars irregularly

shaped: we could not, without difficulty, reach the top of them, as we

stood at the bottom of his pocket. One of them was covered, and seemed

all of a piece: but at the upper end of the other there appeared a

white round substance, about twice the bigness of our heads. Within

each of these was enclosed a prodigious plate of steel; which, by our

orders, we obliged him to show us, because we apprehended they might be

dangerous engines. He took them out of their cases, and told us, that

in his own country his practice was to shave his beard with one of

these, and cut his meat with the other. There were two pockets which we

could not enter: these he called his fobs; they were two large slits

cut into the top of his middle cover, but squeezed close by the

pressure of his belly. Out of the right fob hung a great silver chain,

with a wonderful kind of engine at the bottom. We directed him to draw

out whatever was at the end of that chain; which appeared to be a

globe, half silver, and half of some transparent metal; for, on the

transparent side, we saw certain strange figures circularly drawn, and

thought we could touch them, till we found our fingers stopped by the

lucid substance. He put this engine into our ears, which made an

incessant noise, like that of a water-mill: and we conjecture it is

either some unknown animal, or the god that he worships; but we are

more inclined to the latter opinion, because he assured us, (if we

understood him right, for he expressed himself very imperfectly) that

he seldom did any thing without consulting it. He called it his oracle,

and said, it pointed out the time for every action of his life. From

the left fob he took out a net almost large enough for a fisherman, but

contrived to open and shut like a purse, and served him for the same

use: we found therein several massy pieces of yellow metal, which, if

they be real gold, must be of immense value.

“Having thus, in obedience to your majesty’s commands, diligently

searched all his pockets, we observed a girdle about his waist made of

the hide of some prodigious animal, from which, on the left side, hung

a sword of the length of five men; and on the right, a bag or pouch

divided into two cells, each cell capable of holding three of your

majesty’s subjects. In one of these cells were several globes, or

balls, of a most ponderous metal, about the bigness of our heads, and

requiring a strong hand to lift them: the other cell contained a heap

of certain black grains, but of no great bulk or weight, for we could

hold above fifty of them in the palms of our hands.

“This is an exact inventory of what we found about the body of the

man-mountain, who used us with great civility, and due respect to your

majesty’s commission. Signed and sealed on the fourth day of the

eighty-ninth moon of your majesty’s auspicious reign.

Clefrin Frelock, Marsi Frelock.”

When this inventory was read over to the emperor, he directed me,

although in very gentle terms, to deliver up the several particulars.

He first called for my scimitar, which I took out, scabbard and all. In

the mean time he ordered three thousand of his choicest troops (who

then attended him) to surround me at a distance, with their bows and

arrows just ready to discharge; but I did not observe it, for my eyes

were wholly fixed upon his majesty. He then desired me to draw my

scimitar, which, although it had got some rust by the sea water, was,

in most parts, exceeding bright. I did so, and immediately all the

troops gave a shout between terror and surprise; for the sun shone

clear, and the reflection dazzled their eyes, as I waved the scimitar

to and fro in my hand. His majesty, who is a most magnanimous prince,

was less daunted than I could expect: he ordered me to return it into

the scabbard, and cast it on the ground as gently as I could, about six

feet from the end of my chain. The next thing he demanded was one of

the hollow iron pillars; by which he meant my pocket pistols. I drew it

out, and at his desire, as well as I could, expressed to him the use of

it; and charging it only with powder, which, by the closeness of my

pouch, happened to escape wetting in the sea (an inconvenience against

which all prudent mariners take special care to provide,) I first

cautioned the emperor not to be afraid, and then I let it off in the

air. The astonishment here was much greater than at the sight of my

scimitar. Hundreds fell down as if they had been struck dead; and even

the emperor, although he stood his ground, could not recover himself

for some time. I delivered up both my pistols in the same manner as I

had done my scimitar, and then my pouch of powder and bullets; begging

him that the former might be kept from fire, for it would kindle with

the smallest spark, and blow up his imperial palace into the air. I

likewise delivered up my watch, which the emperor was very curious to

see, and commanded two of his tallest yeomen of the guards to bear it

on a pole upon their shoulders, as draymen in England do a barrel of

ale. He was amazed at the continual noise it made, and the motion of

the minute-hand, which he could easily discern; for their sight is much

more acute than ours: he asked the opinions of his learned men about

it, which were various and remote, as the reader may well imagine

without my repeating; although indeed I could not very perfectly

understand them. I then gave up my silver and copper money, my purse,

with nine large pieces of gold, and some smaller ones; my knife and

razor, my comb and silver snuff-box, my handkerchief and journal-book.

My scimitar, pistols, and pouch, were conveyed in carriages to his

majesty’s stores; but the rest of my goods were returned me.

I had as I before observed, one private pocket, which escaped their

search, wherein there was a pair of spectacles (which I sometimes use

for the weakness of my eyes,) a pocket perspective, and some other

little conveniences; which, being of no consequence to the emperor, I

did not think myself bound in honour to discover, and I apprehended

they might be lost or spoiled if I ventured them out of my possession.