Bab Bab 20 · ANONYMOUS LETTERS

. ANONYMOUS LETTERS

Do not give dalliance

Too much the rein; the strongest oaths are straw

To the fire i' the blood.--_Tempest_.

As they left the drawing-room about midnight, Julien had time to say to

his love,

"Don't let us see each other to-night. Your husband has suspicions. I

would swear that that big letter he read with a sigh was an anonymous

letter."

Fortunately, Julien locked himself into his room. Madame de Rênal had

the mad idea that this warning was only a pretext for not seeing her.

She absolutely lost her head, and came to his door at the accustomed

hour. Julien, who had heard the noise in the corridor, immediately blew

out his lamp. Someone was trying to open the door. Was it Madame de

Rênal? Was it a jealous husband?

Very early next morning the cook, who liked Julien, brought him a book,

on the cover of which he read these words written in Italian: _Guardate

alla pagina_ 130.

Julien shuddered at the imprudence, looked for page 130, and found

pinned to it the following letter hastily written, bathed with tears,

and full of spelling mistakes. Madame de Rênal was usually very

correct. He was touched by this circumstance, and somewhat forgot the

awfulness of the indiscretion.

"So you did not want to receive me to-night? There are

moments when I think that I have never read down to the

depths of your soul. Your looks frighten me. I am afraid

of you. Great God! perhaps you have never loved me? In

that case let my husband discover my love, and shut me

up in a prison in the country far away from my children.

Perhaps God wills it so. I shall die soon, but you will

have proved yourself a monster.

"Do you not love me? Are you tired of my fits of folly

and of remorse, you wicked man? Do you wish to ruin me?

I will show you an easy way. Go and show this letter to

all Verrières, or rather show it to M. Valenod. Tell him

that I love you, nay, do not utter such a blasphemy,

tell him I adore you, that it was only on the day I saw

you that my life commenced; that even in the maddest

moments of my youth I never even dreamt of the happiness

that I owe to you, that I have sacrificed my life to

you and that I am sacrificing my soul. You know that

I am sacrificing much more. But does that man know

the meaning of sacrifice? Tell him, I say, simply to

irritate him, that I will defy all evil tongues, that

the only misfortune for me in the whole world would

be to witness any change in the only man who holds me

to life. What a happiness it would be to me to lose

my life, to offer it up as a sacrifice and to have no

longer any fear for my children.

"Have no doubt about it, dear one, if it is an

anonymous letter, it comes from that odious being who

has persecuted me for the last six years with his loud

voice, his stories about his jumps on horseback, his

fatuity, and the never ending catalogue of all his

advantages.

"Is there an anonymous letter? I should like to discuss

that question with you, you wicked man; but no, you

acted rightly. Clasping you in my arms perhaps for the

last time, I should never have been able to argue as

coldly as I do, now that I am alone. From this moment

our happiness will no longer be so easy. Will that be a

vexation for you? Yes, on those days when you haven't

received some amusing book from M. Fouqué. The sacrifice

is made; to-morrow, whether there is or whether there is

not any anonymous letter, I myself will tell my husband

I have received an anonymous letter and that it is

necessary to give you a golden bridge at once, find some

honourable excuse, and send you back to your parents

without delay.

"Alas, dear one, we are going to be separated for a

fortnight, perhaps a month! Go, I will do you justice,

you will suffer as much as I, but anyway, this is the

only means of disposing of this anonymous letter. It is

not the first that my husband has received, and on my

score too. Alas! how I used to laugh over them!

"My one aim is to make my husband think that the letter

comes from M. Valenod; I have no doubt that he is

its author. If you leave the house, make a point of

establishing yourself at Verrières; I will manage that

my husband should think of passing a fortnight there

in order to prove to the fools there was no coldness

between him and me. Once at Verrières, establish ties of

friendship with everyone, even with the Liberals. I am

sure that all their ladies will seek you out.

"Do not quarrel with M. Valenod, or cut off his ears,

as you said you would one day. Try, on the contrary, to

ingratiate yourself with him. The essential point is

that it should be notorious in Verrières that you are

going to enter the household either of Valenod or of

someone else to take charge of the children's education.

"That is what my husband will never put up with. If he

does feel bound to resign himself to it, well, at any

rate, you will be living in Verrières and I shall be

seeing you sometimes. My children, who love you so much,

will go and see you. Great God! I feel that I love my

children all the more because they love you. How is

all this going to end? I am wandering.... Anyway you

understand your line of conduct. Be nice, polite, but

not in any way disdainful to those coarse persons. I

ask you on my knees; they will be the arbiters of our

fate. Do not fear for a moment but that, so far as you

are concerned, my husband will conform to what public

opinion lays down for him.

"It is you who will supply me with the anonymous letter.

Equip yourself with patience and a pair of scissors, cut

out from a book the words which you will see, then stick

them with the mouth-glue on to the leaf of loose paper

which I am sending you. It comes to me from M. Valenod.

Be on your guard against a search in your room; burn the

pages of the book which you are going to mutilate. If

you do not find the words ready-made, have the patience

to form them letter by letter. I have made the anonymous

letter too short.

ANONYMOUS LETTER.

'MADAME,

All your little goings-on are known, but the persons

interested in stopping have been warned. I have still

sufficient friendship left for you to urge you to cease

all relations with the little peasant. If you are

sensible enough to do this, your husband will believe

that the notification he has received is misleading, and

he will be left in his illusion. Remember that I have

your secret; tremble, unhappy woman, you must now _walk

straight_ before me.'

"As soon as you have finished glueing together the

words that make up this letter (have you recognised the

director's special style of speech) leave the house, I

will meet you.

"I will go into the village and come back with a

troubled face. As a matter of fact I shall be very much

troubled. Great God! What a risk I run, and all because

you thought you guessed an anonymous letter. Finally,

looking very much upset, I shall give this letter to my

husband and say that an unknown man handed it to me. As

for you, go for a walk with the children, on the road to

the great woods, and do not come back before dinner-time.

"You will be able to see the tower of the dovecot from

the top of the rocks. If things go well for us, I

will place a white handkerchief there, in case of the

contrary, there will be nothing at all.

"Ungrateful man, will not your heart find out some means

of telling me that you love me before you leave for that

walk. Whatever happens, be certain of one thing: I shall

never survive our final separation by a single day.

Oh, you bad mother! but what is the use of my writing

those two words, dear Julien? I do not feel them, at

this moment I can only think of you. I have only written

them so as not to be blamed by you, but what is the good

of deception now that I find myself face to face with

losing you? Yes, let my soul seem monstrous to you,

but do not let me lie to the man whom I adore. I have

already deceived only too much in this life of mine. Go!

I forgive you if you love me no more. I have not the

time to read over my letter. It is a small thing in my

eyes to pay for the happy days that I have just passed

in your arms with the price of my life. You know that

they will cost me more."