Bab Bab 60 · BOOK IV CHAPTER XIII

"WHY don't you go outside?" I asked of the Jam-wagon.

I had rescued him from one of his periodical plunges into the cesspool

of debauch, and he was peaked, pallid, penitent. Listlessly he stared at

me a long moment, the dull, hollow-eyed stare of the recently

regenerate.

"Well," he said at last, "I think I stay for the same reason many

another man stays--pride. I feel that the Yukon owes me one of two

things, a stake or a grave--and she's going to pay."

"Seems to me, the way you're shaping you're more liable to get the

latter."

"Yes--well, that'll be all right."

"Look here," I remonstrated, "don't be a rotter. You're a man, a

splendid one. You might do anything, be anything. For Heaven's sake stop

slipping cogs, and get into the game."

His thin, handsome face hardened bitterly.

"I don't know. Sometimes I think I'm not fit to play the game; sometimes

I wonder if it's all worth while; sometimes I'm half inclined to end

it."

"Oh, don't talk nonsense."

"I'm not; I mean it, every word. I don't often speak of myself. It

doesn't matter who I am, or what I've been. I've gone through a

lot--more than most men. For years I've been a sort of a human

derelict, drifting from port to port of the seven seas. I've sprawled in

their mire; I've eaten of their filth; I've wallowed in their moist,

barbaric slime. Time and time again I've gone to the mat, but somehow I

would never take the count. Something's always saved me at the last."

"Your guardian angel."

"Maybe. Somehow I wouldn't be utterly downed. I'm a bit of a fighter,

and every day's been a battle with me. Oh, you don't know, you can't

believe how I suffer! Often I pray, and my prayer always is: 'O dear

God, don't allow me to _think_. Lash me with Thy wrath; heap burdens on

me, but don't let me _think_.' They say there's a hell hereafter. They

lie: it's here, now."

I was astonished at his vehemence. His face was wrenched with pain, and

his eyes full of remorseful misery.

"What about your friends?"

"Oh, them--I died long ago, died in the early '80's. In a little French

graveyard there's a tombstone that bears my name, my real name, the name

of the 'me' that was. Heart, soul and body, I died. My sisters mourned

me, my friends muttered, 'Poor devil.' A few women cried, and a

girl--well, I mustn't speak of that. It's all over long ago; but I must

eternally do something, fight, drink, work like the devil--anything but

think. I mustn't _think_."

"What about your guardian angel?"

"Yes, sometimes I think he's going to give me another chance. This is

no life for a man like me, slaving in the drift, burning myself up in

the dissipation of the town. A great, glad fight with a good sweet woman

to fight for--that would save me. Oh, to get away from it all, get a

clean start!"

"Well, I believe in you. I'm sure you'll be all right. Let me lend you

the money."

"Thank you, a thousand thanks; but I cannot take it. There it is

again--my pride. Maybe I'm all wrong. Maybe I'm a lost soul, and my

goal's the potter's field. No; thanks! In a day or two I'll be

fighting-fit again. I wouldn't have bored you with this talk, but I'm

weak, and my nerve's gone."

"How much money have you got?" I asked.

He pulled a poor piece of silver from his pocket.

"Enough to do me till I join the pick-and-shovel gang."

"What are those tickets in your hand?"

He laughed carelessly.

"Chances in the ice pools. Funny thing, I don't remember buying them.

Must have been drunk."

"Yes, and you seem to have had a 'hunch.' You've got the same time on

all three: seven seconds, seven minutes past one, on the ninth--that's

to-day. It's noon now. That old ice will have to hurry up if you're

going to win. Fancy, if you did! You'd clean up over three thousand

dollars. There would be your new start."

"Yes, fancy," he echoed mockingly. "Over five thousand betting, and the

guesses as close as peas in a pod."

"Well, the ice may go out any moment. It's awful rotten."

With a curious fascination, we gazed down at the mighty river. Around us

was a glow of spring sunshine, above us the renaissance of blue skies.

Rags of snow still glimmered on the hills, and the brown earth, as if

ashamed of its nakedness, was bursting greenly forth. On the slope

overlooking the Klondike, girls in white dresses were gathering the wild

crocus. All was warmth, colour, awakening life.

Surely the river ice could not hold much longer. It was patchy, netted

with cracks, heaved up in ridges, mottled with slushy pools, corroded to

the bottom. Decidedly it was rotten, rotten. Still it held stubbornly.

The Klondike hammered it with mighty bergs, black and heavy as a house.

Down the swift current they sped, crashing, grinding, roaring, to batter

into the unbroken armour of the Yukon. And along its banks, watching

even as we watched, were thousands of others. On every lip was the

question--"The ice--when will it go out?" For to these exiles of the

North, after eight months of isolation, the sight of open water would be

like Heaven. It would mean boats, freedom, friendly faces, and a step

nearer to that "outside" of their dreams.

Towards the centre of the vast mass of ice that belted in the city was a

post, and on this lonely post thousands of eyes were constantly turning.

For an electric wire connected it with the town, so that when it moved

down a certain distance a clock would register the exact moment. Thus,

thousands gazing at that solitary post thought of the bets they had

made, and wondered if this year they would be the lucky ones. It is a

unique incident in Dawson life, this gambling on the ice. There are

dozens of pools, large and small, and both men and women take part in

the betting, with an eagerness and excitement that is almost childish.

I sat on a bench on the N. C. trail overlooking the town, and watched

the Jam-wagon crawl down the hill to his cabin. Poor fellow! How drawn

and white was his face, and his long, clean frame--how gaunt and weary!

I felt sorry for him. What would become of him? He was a splendid

"misfit." If he only had another chance! Somehow I believed in him, and

fervently I hoped he would have that good clean start again.

Up in the cold remoteness of the North are many of his kind--the black

sheep, the undesirables, the discards of the pack. Their lips are

sealed; their eyes are cold as glaciers, and often they drink deep. Oh,

they are a mighty company, the men you don't enquire about; but it is

the code of the North to take them as you find them, so they go their

way unregarded.

How clear the air was! It was like looking through a crystal lens--every

leaf seemed to stand out vividly. Sounds came up to me with marvellous

distinctness. Summer was coming, and with it the assurance of a new

peace. Down there I could see our home, and on its veranda,

hammock-swung, the white figure of Berna. How precious she was to me!

How anxiously I watched over her! A look, a word meant more to me than

volumes. If she was happy I was full of joy; if she was sad the sunshine

paled, the flowers drooped, there was no gladness in the day. Often as

she slept I watched her, marvelling at the fine perfection of her face.

Always was she an object of wonder to me--something to be adored, to

demand all that was fine and high in me.

Yet sometimes it was the very intensity of my love that made me fear; so

that in the ecstasy of a moment I would catch my breath and wonder if it

all could last. And always the memory of Locasto was a sinister shadow.

He had gone "outside," terribly broken in health, gone cursing me

hoarsely and vowing he would return. Would he?

Who that knows the North can ever deny its lure? Wherever you be, it

will call and call to you. In the sluggish South you will hear it, will

long for the keen tingle of its silver days, the vaster glory of its

star-strewn nights. In the city's heart it will come to you till you

hunger for its big, clean spaces, its racing rivers, its purple tundras.

In the homes of the rich its voice will seek you out, and you will ache

for your lonely camp-fire, a sunset splendouring to golden death, the

night where the silence clutches and the heavens vomit forth white fire.

Yes, you will hear it, and hear it, till a madness comes over you, till

you leave the crawling men of the sticky pavements to seek it out once

more, the sapphire of its lustrous lakes, the white yearning of its

peaks to the myriad stars. Then, as a child comes home, will you come

home. And I knew that some day to the land wherein he had reigned a

conqueror, Locasto, too, would return.

As I looked down on the grey town, the wonder of its growth came over

me. How changed from the muddle of tents and cabins, the boat-lined

river, the swarming hordes of the Argonauts! Where was the niggerhead

swamp, the mud, the unrest, the mad fever of '98? I looked for these

things and saw in their stead fine residences, trim gardens, well-kept

streets. I almost rubbed my eyes as I realised the magic of the

transformation.

And great as was the city's outward change, its change of spirit was

still greater. The day of dance-hall domination was over. Vice walked

very circumspectly. No longer was it possible on the street to speak to

a lady of easy virtue without causing comment.

The demireps of the deadline had been banished over the Klondike, where,

in a colony reached by a crazy rope bridge, their red lights gleamed

like semaphores of sin. The dance-halls were still running, but the

picturesque impunity of the old muckluck days was gone forever. You

looked in vain for the crude scenes where the wilder passions were

unleashed, and human nature revealed itself in primal nakedness.

Heroism, brutality, splendid achievement, unbridled license, the North

seems to bring out all that is best and worst in a man. It breeds an

exuberant vitality, a madness for action, whether it be for good or

evil.

In the town, too, life was becoming a thing of more sober hues. Sick of

slipshod morality, men were sending for their wives and children. The

old ideals of home and love and social purity were triumphing. With the

advent of the good woman, the dance-hall girl was doomed. The city was

finding itself. Society divided into sets. The more pretentious were

called Ping-pongs, while a majority rejoiced in the name of Rough-necks.

The post-office abuses were remedied, the grafters ousted from the

government offices. Rapidly the gold-camp was becoming modernised.

Yes, its spectacular days were over. No more would the "live one"

disport himself in his wild and woolly glory. The delirium of '98 was

fast becoming a memory. The leading actors in that fateful drama--where

were they? Dead: some by their own hands; down and out many, drivelling

sottishly of by-gone days; poor prospectors a few, dreaming of a new

gold strike.

And, as I think of it, it comes over me that the thing is vastly tragic.

Where are they now, these Klondike Kings, these givers of champagne

baths, these plungers of the gold-camp? How many of those that stood out

in the limelight of '98 can tell the tale to-day? Ladue is dead, leaving

little behind. Big Alec MacDonald, after lavishing a dozen fortunes on

his friends, dies at last, almost friendless and alone. Nigger Jim and

Stillwater Willie--in what back slough of vicissitude do they languish

to-day? Dick Low lies in a drunkard's grave. Skookum Jim would fain

qualify for one. Dawson Charlie, reeling home from a debauch, drowns in

the river. In impecunious despair, Harry Waugh hangs himself. Charlie

Anderson, after squandering a fortune on a thankless wife, works for a

labourer's hire.

So I might go on and on. Their stories would fill volumes. And as I sat

on the quiet hillside, listening to the drowsy hum of the bees, the

inner meaning of it all came home to me. Once again the great lone land

was sifting out and choosing its own. Far-reaching was its vengeance,

and it worked in divers ways. It fell on them, even as it had fallen on

their brethren of the trail. In the guise of fortune it dealt their

ruin. From the austere silence of its snows it was mocking them,

beguiling them to their doom. Again it was the Land of the Strong.

Before all it demanded strength, moral and physical strength. I was

minded of the words of old Jim, "Where one wins ninety and nine will

fail"; and time had proved him true. The great, grim land was weeding

out the unfit, was rewarding those who could understand it, the faithful

brotherhood of the high North.

Full of such thoughts as these, I raised my eyes and looked down the

river towards the Moosehide Bluffs. Hullo! There, just below the town,

was a great sheet of water, and even as I watched I saw it spread and

spread. People were shouting, running from their houses, speeding to the

beach. I was conscious of a thrill of excitement. Ever widening was the

water, and now it stretched from bank to bank. It crept forward to the

solitary post. Now it was almost there. Suddenly the post started to

move. The vast ice-field was sliding forward. Slowly, serenely it went,

on, on.

Then, all at once, the steam-whistles shrilled out, the bells pealed,

and from the black mob of people that lined the banks there went up an

exultant cheer. "The ice is going out--the ice is going out!"

I looked at my watch. Could I believe my eyes? Seven seconds, seven

minutes past one--his "hunch" was right; his guardian angel had

intervened; the Jam-wagon had been given his chance to make a new start.