Bab Bab 22 · 第22章

I had many melancholy hours at the Bath after the company was gone; for

though I went to Bristol sometime for the disposing my effects, and for

recruits of money, yet I chose to come back to Bath for my residence,

because being on good terms with the woman in whose house I lodged in

the summer, I found that during the winter I lived rather cheaper there

than I could do anywhere else. Here, I say, I passed the winter as

heavily as I had passed the autumn cheerfully; but having contracted a

nearer intimacy with the said woman in whose house I lodged, I could

not avoid communicating to her something of what lay hardest upon my

mind and particularly the narrowness of my circumstances, and the loss

of my fortune by the damage of my goods at sea. I told her also, that I

had a mother and a brother in Virginia in good circumstances; and as I

had really written back to my mother in particular to represent my

condition, and the great loss I had received, which indeed came to

almost £500, so I did not fail to let my new friend know that I

expected a supply from thence, and so indeed I did; and as the ships

went from Bristol to York River, in Virginia, and back again generally

in less time from London, and that my brother corresponded chiefly at

Bristol, I thought it was much better for me to wait here for my

returns than to go to London, where also I had not the least

acquaintance.

My new friend appeared sensibly affected with my condition, and indeed

was so very kind as to reduce the rate of my living with her to so low

a price during the winter, that she convinced me she got nothing by me;

and as for lodging, during the winter I paid nothing at all.

When the spring season came on, she continued to be as kind to me as

she could, and I lodged with her for a time, till it was found

necessary to do otherwise. She had some persons of character that

frequently lodged in her house, and in particular the gentleman who, as

I said, singled me out for his companion the winter before; and he came

down again with another gentleman in his company and two servants, and

lodged in the same house. I suspected that my landlady had invited him

thither, letting him know that I was still with her; but she denied it,

and protested to me that she did not, and he said the same.

In a word, this gentleman came down and continued to single me out for

his peculiar confidence as well as conversation. He was a complete

gentleman, that must be confessed, and his company was very agreeable

to me, as mine, if I might believe him, was to him. He made no

professions to me but of an extraordinary respect, and he had such an

opinion of my virtue, that, as he often professed, he believed if he

should offer anything else, I should reject him with contempt. He soon

understood from me that I was a widow; that I had arrived at Bristol

from Virginia by the last ships; and that I waited at Bath till the

next Virginia fleet should arrive, by which I expected considerable

effects. I understood by him, and by others of him, that he had a wife,

but that the lady was distempered in her head, and was under the

conduct of her own relations, which he consented to, to avoid any

reflections that might (as was not unusual in such cases) be cast on

him for mismanaging her cure; and in the meantime he came to the Bath

to divert his thoughts from the disturbance of such a melancholy

circumstance as that was.

My landlady, who of her own accord encouraged the correspondence on all

occasions, gave me an advantageous character of him, as a man of honour

and of virtue, as well as of great estate. And indeed I had a great

deal of reason to say so of him too; for though we lodged both on a

floor, and he had frequently come into my chamber, even when I was in

bed, and I also into his when he was in bed, yet he never offered

anything to me further than a kiss, or so much as solicited me to

anything till long after, as you shall hear.

I frequently took notice to my landlady of his exceeding modesty, and

she again used to tell me, she believed it was so from the beginning;

however, she used to tell me that she thought I ought to expect some

gratification from him for my company, for indeed he did, as it were,

engross me, and I was seldom from him. I told her I had not given him

the least occasion to think I wanted it, or that I would accept of it

from him. She told me she would take that part upon her, and she did

so, and managed it so dexterously, that the first time we were together

alone, after she had talked with him, he began to inquire a little into

my circumstances, as how I had subsisted myself since I came on shore,

and whether I did not want money. I stood off very boldly. I told him

that though my cargo of tobacco was damaged, yet that it was not quite

lost; that the merchant I had been consigned to had so honestly managed

for me that I had not wanted, and that I hoped, with frugal management,

I should make it hold out till more would come, which I expected by the

next fleet; that in the meantime I had retrenched my expenses, and

whereas I kept a maid last season, now I lived without; and whereas I

had a chamber and a dining-room then on the first floor, as he knew, I

now had but one room, two pair of stairs, and the like. “But I live,”

said I, “as well satisfied now as I did then”; adding, that his company

had been a means to make me live much more cheerfully than otherwise I

should have done, for which I was much obliged to him; and so I put off

all room for any offer for the present. However, it was not long before

he attacked me again, and told me he found that I was backward to trust

him with the secret of my circumstances, which he was sorry for;

assuring me that he inquired into it with no design to satisfy his own

curiosity, but merely to assist me, if there was any occasion; but

since I would not own myself to stand in need of any assistance, he had

but one thing more to desire of me, and that was, that I would promise

him that when I was any way straitened, or like to be so, I would

frankly tell him of it, and that I would make use of him with the same

freedom that he made the offer; adding, that I should always find I had

a true friend, though perhaps I was afraid to trust him.

I omitted nothing that was fit to be said by one infinitely obliged, to

let him know that I had a due sense of his kindness; and indeed from

that time I did not appear so much reserved to him as I had done

before, though still within the bounds of the strictest virtue on both

sides; but how free soever our conversation was, I could not arrive to

that sort of freedom which he desired, viz. to tell him I wanted money,

though I was secretly very glad of his offer.

Some weeks passed after this, and still I never asked him for money;

when my landlady, a cunning creature, who had often pressed me to it,

but found that I could not do it, makes a story of her own inventing,

and comes in bluntly to me when we were together. “Oh, widow!” says

she, “I have bad news to tell you this morning.” “What is that?” said

I; “are the Virginia ships taken by the French?”—for that was my fear.

“No, no,” says she, “but the man you sent to Bristol yesterday for

money is come back, and says he has brought none.”

Now I could by no means like her project; I thought it looked too much

like prompting him, which indeed he did not want, and I clearly saw

that I should lose nothing by being backward to ask, so I took her up

short. “I can’t image why he should say so to you,” said I, “for I

assure you he brought me all the money I sent him for, and here it is,”

said I (pulling out my purse with about twelve guineas in it); and

added, “I intend you shall have most of it by and by.”

He seemed distasted a little at her talking as she did at first, as

well as I, taking it, as I fancied he would, as something forward of

her; but when he saw me give such an answer, he came immediately to

himself again. The next morning we talked of it again, when I found he

was fully satisfied, and, smiling, said he hoped I would not want money

and not tell him of it, and that I had promised him otherwise. I told

him I had been very much dissatisfied at my landlady’s talking so

publicly the day before of what she had nothing to do with; but I

supposed she wanted what I owed her, which was about eight guineas,

which I had resolved to give her, and had accordingly given it her the

same night she talked so foolishly.

He was in a mighty good humour when he heard me say I had paid her, and

it went off into some other discourse at that time. But the next

morning, he having heard me up about my room before him, he called to

me, and I answering, he asked me to come into his chamber. He was in

bed when I came in, and he made me come and sit down on his bedside,

for he said he had something to say to me which was of some moment.

After some very kind expressions, he asked me if I would be very honest

to him, and give a sincere answer to one thing he would desire of me.

After some little cavil at the word “sincere,” and asking him if I had

ever given him any answers which were not sincere, I promised him I

would. Why, then, his request was, he said, to let him see my purse. I

immediately put my hand into my pocket, and, laughing to him, pulled it

out, and there was in it three guineas and a half. Then he asked me if

there was all the money I had. I told him No, laughing again, not by a

great deal.

Well, then, he said, he would have me promise to go and fetch him all

the money I had, every farthing. I told him I would, and I went into my

chamber and fetched him a little private drawer, where I had about six

guineas more, and some silver, and threw it all down upon the bed, and

told him there was all my wealth, honestly to a shilling. He looked a

little at it, but did not tell it, and huddled it all into the drawer

again, and then reaching his pocket, pulled out a key, and bade me open

a little walnut-tree box he had upon the table, and bring him such a

drawer, which I did. In which drawer there was a great deal of money in

gold, I believe near two hundred guineas, but I knew not how much. He

took the drawer, and taking my hand, made me put it in and take a whole

handful. I was backward at that, but he held my hand hard in his hand,

and put it into the drawer, and made me take out as many guineas almost

as I could well take up at once.