บทที่ บทที่ 34 · FRIEND
. I
shall keep a journal-letter, and send it once a week, so goodnight, and
more tomorrow.
Tuesday Eve
Had a lively time in my seminary this morning, for the children acted
like Sancho, and at one time I really thought I should shake them all
round. Some good angel inspired me to try gymnastics, and I kept it up
till they were glad to sit down and keep still. After luncheon, the
girl took them out for a walk, and I went to my needlework like little
Mabel ‘with a willing mind’. I was thanking my stars that I’d learned
to make nice buttonholes, when the parlor door opened and shut, and
someone began to hum, Kennst Du Das Land, like a big bumblebee. It was
dreadfully improper, I know, but I couldn’t resist the temptation, and
lifting one end of the curtain before the glass door, I peeped in.
Professor Bhaer was there, and while he arranged his books, I took a
good look at him. A regular German—rather stout, with brown hair
tumbled all over his head, a bushy beard, good nose, the kindest eyes I
ever saw, and a splendid big voice that does one’s ears good, after our
sharp or slipshod American gabble. His clothes were rusty, his hands
were large, and he hadn’t a really handsome feature in his face, except
his beautiful teeth, yet I liked him, for he had a fine head, his linen
was very nice, and he looked like a gentleman, though two buttons were
off his coat and there was a patch on one shoe. He looked sober in
spite of his humming, till he went to the window to turn the hyacinth
bulbs toward the sun, and stroke the cat, who received him like an old
friend. Then he smiled, and when a tap came at the door, called out in
a loud, brisk tone, “Herein!”
I was just going to run, when I caught sight of a morsel of a child
carrying a big book, and stopped, to see what was going on.
“Me wants me Bhaer,” said the mite, slamming down her book and running
to meet him.
“Thou shalt haf thy Bhaer. Come, then, and take a goot hug from him, my
Tina,” said the Professor, catching her up with a laugh, and holding
her so high over his head that she had to stoop her little face to kiss
him.
“Now me mus tuddy my lessin,” went on the funny little thing. So he put
her up at the table, opened the great dictionary she had brought, and
gave her a paper and pencil, and she scribbled away, turning a leaf now
and then, and passing her little fat finger down the page, as if
finding a word, so soberly that I nearly betrayed myself by a laugh,
while Mr. Bhaer stood stroking her pretty hair with a fatherly look
that made me think she must be his own, though she looked more French
than German.
Another knock and the appearance of two young ladies sent me back to my
work, and there I virtuously remained through all the noise and
gabbling that went on next door. One of the girls kept laughing
affectedly, and saying, “Now Professor,” in a coquettish tone, and the
other pronounced her German with an accent that must have made it hard
for him to keep sober.
Both seemed to try his patience sorely, for more than once I heard him
say emphatically, “No, no, it is not so, you haf not attend to what I
say,” and once there was a loud rap, as if he struck the table with his
book, followed by the despairing exclamation, “Prut! It all goes bad
this day.”
Poor man, I pitied him, and when the girls were gone, took just one
more peep to see if he survived it. He seemed to have thrown himself
back in his chair, tired out, and sat there with his eyes shut till the
clock struck two, when he jumped up, put his books in his pocket, as if
ready for another lesson, and taking little Tina who had fallen asleep
on the sofa in his arms, he carried her quietly away. I fancy he has a
hard life of it. Mrs. Kirke asked me if I wouldn’t go down to the five
o’clock dinner, and feeling a little bit homesick, I thought I would,
just to see what sort of people are under the same roof with me. So I
made myself respectable and tried to slip in behind Mrs. Kirke, but as
she is short and I’m tall, my efforts at concealment were rather a
failure. She gave me a seat by her, and after my face cooled off, I
plucked up courage and looked about me. The long table was full, and
every one intent on getting their dinner, the gentlemen especially, who
seemed to be eating on time, for they bolted in every sense of the
word, vanishing as soon as they were done. There was the usual
assortment of young men absorbed in themselves, young couples absorbed
in each other, married ladies in their babies, and old gentlemen in
politics. I don’t think I shall care to have much to do with any of
them, except one sweetfaced maiden lady, who looks as if she had
something in her.
Cast away at the very bottom of the table was the Professor, shouting
answers to the questions of a very inquisitive, deaf old gentleman on
one side, and talking philosophy with a Frenchman on the other. If Amy
had been here, she’d have turned her back on him forever because, sad
to relate, he had a great appetite, and shoveled in his dinner in a
manner which would have horrified ‘her ladyship’. I didn’t mind, for I
like ‘to see folks eat with a relish’, as Hannah says, and the poor man
must have needed a deal of food after teaching idiots all day.
As I went upstairs after dinner, two of the young men were settling
their hats before the hall mirror, and I heard one say low to the
other, “Who’s the new party?”
“Governess, or something of that sort.”
“What the deuce is she at our table for?”
“Friend of the old lady’s.”
“Handsome head, but no style.”
“Not a bit of it. Give us a light and come on.”
I felt angry at first, and then I didn’t care, for a governess is as
good as a clerk, and I’ve got sense, if I haven’t style, which is more
than some people have, judging from the remarks of the elegant beings
who clattered away, smoking like bad chimneys. I hate ordinary people!
Thursday
Yesterday was a quiet day spent in teaching, sewing, and writing in my
little room, which is very cozy, with a light and fire. I picked up a
few bits of news and was introduced to the Professor. It seems that
Tina is the child of the Frenchwoman who does the fine ironing in the
laundry here. The little thing has lost her heart to Mr. Bhaer, and
follows him about the house like a dog whenever he is at home, which
delights him, as he is very fond of children, though a ‘bacheldore’.
Kitty and Minnie Kirke likewise regard him with affection, and tell all
sorts of stories about the plays he invents, the presents he brings,
and the splendid tales he tells. The younger men quiz him, it seems,
call him Old Fritz, Lager Beer, Ursa Major, and make all manner of
jokes on his name. But he enjoys it like a boy, Mrs. Kirke says, and
takes it so good-naturedly that they all like him in spite of his
foreign ways.
The maiden lady is a Miss Norton, rich, cultivated, and kind. She spoke
to me at dinner today (for I went to table again, it’s such fun to
watch people), and asked me to come and see her at her room. She has
fine books and pictures, knows interesting persons, and seems friendly,
so I shall make myself agreeable, for I do want to get into good
society, only it isn’t the same sort that Amy likes.
I was in our parlor last evening when Mr. Bhaer came in with some
newspapers for Mrs. Kirke. She wasn’t there, but Minnie, who is a
little old woman, introduced me very prettily. “This is Mamma’s friend,
Miss March.”
“Yes, and she’s jolly and we like her lots,” added Kitty, who is an
‘enfant terrible’.
We both bowed, and then we laughed, for the prim introduction and the
blunt addition were rather a comical contrast.
“Ah, yes, I hear these naughty ones go to vex you, Mees Marsch. If so
again, call at me and I come,” he said, with a threatening frown that
delighted the little wretches.
I promised I would, and he departed, but it seems as if I was doomed to
see a good deal of him, for today as I passed his door on my way out,
by accident I knocked against it with my umbrella. It flew open, and
there he stood in his dressing gown, with a big blue sock on one hand
and a darning needle in the other. He didn’t seem at all ashamed of it,
for when I explained and hurried on, he waved his hand, sock and all,
saying in his loud, cheerful way...
“You haf a fine day to make your walk. Bon voyage, Mademoiselle.”
I laughed all the way downstairs, but it was a little pathetic, also to
think of the poor man having to mend his own clothes. The German
gentlemen embroider, I know, but darning hose is another thing and not
so pretty.
Saturday
Nothing has happened to write about, except a call on Miss Norton, who
has a room full of pretty things, and who was very charming, for she
showed me all her treasures, and asked me if I would sometimes go with
her to lectures and concerts, as her escort, if I enjoyed them. She put
it as a favor, but I’m sure Mrs. Kirke has told her about us, and she
does it out of kindness to me. I’m as proud as Lucifer, but such favors
from such people don’t burden me, and I accepted gratefully.
When I got back to the nursery there was such an uproar in the parlor
that I looked in, and there was Mr. Bhaer down on his hands and knees,
with Tina on his back, Kitty leading him with a jump rope, and Minnie
feeding two small boys with seedcakes, as they roared and ramped in
cages built of chairs.
“We are playing nargerie,” explained Kitty.
“Dis is mine effalunt!” added Tina, holding on by the Professor’s hair.
“Mamma always allows us to do what we like Saturday afternoon, when
Franz and Emil come, doesn’t she, Mr. Bhaer?” said Minnie.
The ‘effalunt’ sat up, looking as much in earnest as any of them, and
said soberly to me, “I gif you my wort it is so, if we make too large a
noise you shall say Hush! to us, and we go more softly.”
I promised to do so, but left the door open and enjoyed the fun as much
as they did, for a more glorious frolic I never witnessed. They played
tag and soldiers, danced and sang, and when it began to grow dark they
all piled onto the sofa about the Professor, while he told charming
fairy stories of the storks on the chimney tops, and the little
‘koblods’, who ride the snowflakes as they fall. I wish Americans were
as simple and natural as Germans, don’t you?
I’m so fond of writing, I should go spinning on forever if motives of
economy didn’t stop me, for though I’ve used thin paper and written
fine, I tremble to think of the stamps this long letter will need. Pray
forward Amy’s as soon as you can spare them. My small news will sound
very flat after her splendors, but you will like them, I know. Is Teddy
studying so hard that he can’t find time to write to his friends? Take
good care of him for me, Beth, and tell me all about the babies, and
give heaps of love to everyone. From your faithful Jo.
P.S. On reading over my letter, it strikes me as rather Bhaery, but I
am always interested in odd people, and I really had nothing else to
write about. Bless you!
DECEMBER
My Precious Betsey,
As this is to be a scribble-scrabble letter, I direct it to you, for it
may amuse you, and give you some idea of my goings on, for though
quiet, they are rather amusing, for which, oh, be joyful! After what
Amy would call Herculaneum efforts, in the way of mental and moral
agriculture, my young ideas begin to shoot and my little twigs to bend
as I could wish. They are not so interesting to me as Tina and the
boys, but I do my duty by them, and they are fond of me. Franz and Emil
are jolly little lads, quite after my own heart, for the mixture of
German and American spirit in them produces a constant state of
effervescence. Saturday afternoons are riotous times, whether spent in
the house or out, for on pleasant days they all go to walk, like a
seminary, with the Professor and myself to keep order, and then such
fun!
We are very good friends now, and I’ve begun to take lessons. I really
couldn’t help it, and it all came about in such a droll way that I must
tell you. To begin at the beginning, Mrs. Kirke called to me one day as
I passed Mr. Bhaer’s room where she was rummaging.
“Did you ever see such a den, my dear? Just come and help me put these
books to rights, for I’ve turned everything upside down, trying to
discover what he has done with the six new handkerchiefs I gave him not
long ago.”
I went in, and while we worked I looked about me, for it was ‘a den’ to
be sure. Books and papers everywhere, a broken meerschaum, and an old
flute over the mantlepiece as if done with, a ragged bird without any
tail chirped on one window seat, and a box of white mice adorned the
other. Half-finished boats and bits of string lay among the
manuscripts. Dirty little boots stood drying before the fire, and
traces of the dearly beloved boys, for whom he makes a slave of
himself, were to be seen all over the room. After a grand rummage three
of the missing articles were found, one over the bird cage, one covered
with ink, and a third burned brown, having been used as a holder.
“Such a man!” laughed good-natured Mrs. K., as she put the relics in
the rag bag. “I suppose the others are torn up to rig ships, bandage
cut fingers, or make kite tails. It’s dreadful, but I can’t scold him.
He’s so absent-minded and goodnatured, he lets those boys ride over him
roughshod. I agreed to do his washing and mending, but he forgets to
give out his things and I forget to look them over, so he comes to a
sad pass sometimes.”
“Let me mend them,” said I. “I don’t mind it, and he needn’t know. I’d
like to, he’s so kind to me about bringing my letters and lending
books.”
So I have got his things in order, and knit heels into two pairs of the
socks, for they were boggled out of shape with his queer darns. Nothing
was said, and I hoped he wouldn’t find it out, but one day last week he
caught me at it. Hearing the lessons he gives to others has interested
and amused me so much that I took a fancy to learn, for Tina runs in
and out, leaving the door open, and I can hear. I had been sitting near
this door, finishing off the last sock, and trying to understand what
he said to a new scholar, who is as stupid as I am. The girl had gone,
and I thought he had also, it was so still, and I was busily gabbling
over a verb, and rocking to and fro in a most absurd way, when a little
crow made me look up, and there was Mr. Bhaer looking and laughing
quietly, while he made signs to Tina not to betray him.
“So!” he said, as I stopped and stared like a goose, “you peep at me, I
peep at you, and this is not bad, but see, I am not pleasanting when I
say, haf you a wish for German?”
“Yes, but you are too busy. I am too stupid to learn,” I blundered out,
as red as a peony.
“Prut! We will make the time, and we fail not to find the sense. At
efening I shall gif a little lesson with much gladness, for look you,
Mees Marsch, I haf this debt to pay.” And he pointed to my work ‘Yes,’
they say to one another, these so kind ladies, ‘he is a stupid old
fellow, he will see not what we do, he will never observe that his sock
heels go not in holes any more, he will think his buttons grow out new
when they fall, and believe that strings make theirselves.’ “Ah! But I
haf an eye, and I see much. I haf a heart, and I feel thanks for this.
Come, a little lesson then and now, or—no more good fairy works for me
and mine.”
Of course I couldn’t say anything after that, and as it really is a
splendid opportunity, I made the bargain, and we began. I took four
lessons, and then I stuck fast in a grammatical bog. The Professor was
very patient with me, but it must have been torment to him, and now and
then he’d look at me with such an expression of mild despair that it
was a toss-up with me whether to laugh or cry. I tried both ways, and
when it came to a sniff or utter mortification and woe, he just threw
the grammar on to the floor and marched out of the room. I felt myself
disgraced and deserted forever, but didn’t blame him a particle, and
was scrambling my papers together, meaning to rush upstairs and shake
myself hard, when in he came, as brisk and beaming as if I’d covered
myself in glory.
“Now we shall try a new way. You and I will read these pleasant little
_marchen_ together, and dig no more in that dry book, that goes in the
corner for making us trouble.”
He spoke so kindly, and opened Hans Anderson’s fairy tales so
invitingly before me, that I was more ashamed than ever, and went at my
lesson in a neck-or-nothing style that seemed to amuse him immensely. I
forgot my bashfulness, and pegged away (no other word will express it)
with all my might, tumbling over long words, pronouncing according to
inspiration of the minute, and doing my very best. When I finished
reading my first page, and stopped for breath, he clapped his hands and
cried out in his hearty way, “Das ist gut! Now we go well! My turn. I
do him in German, gif me your ear.” And away he went, rumbling out the
words with his strong voice and a relish which was good to see as well
as hear. Fortunately the story was _The Constant Tin Soldier_, which is
droll, you know, so I could laugh, and I did, though I didn’t
understand half he read, for I couldn’t help it, he was so earnest, I
so excited, and the whole thing so comical.
After that we got on better, and now I read my lessons pretty well, for
this way of studying suits me, and I can see that the grammar gets
tucked into the tales and poetry as one gives pills in jelly. I like it
very much, and he doesn’t seem tired of it yet, which is very good of
him, isn’t it? I mean to give him something on Christmas, for I dare
not offer money. Tell me something nice, Marmee.
I’m glad Laurie seems so happy and busy, that he has given up smoking
and lets his hair grow. You see Beth manages him better than I did. I’m
not jealous, dear, do your best, only don’t make a saint of him. I’m
afraid I couldn’t like him without a spice of human naughtiness. Read
him bits of my letters. I haven’t time to write much, and that will do
just as well. Thank Heaven Beth continues so comfortable.
JANUARY
A Happy New Year to you all, my dearest family, which of course
includes Mr. L. and a young man by the name of Teddy. I can’t tell you
how much I enjoyed your Christmas bundle, for I didn’t get it till
night and had given up hoping. Your letter came in the morning, but you
said nothing about a parcel, meaning it for a surprise, so I was
disappointed, for I’d had a ‘kind of feeling’ that you wouldn’t forget
me. I felt a little low in my mind as I sat up in my room after tea,
and when the big, muddy, battered-looking bundle was brought to me, I
just hugged it and pranced. It was so homey and refreshing that I sat
down on the floor and read and looked and ate and laughed and cried, in
my usual absurd way. The things were just what I wanted, and all the
better for being made instead of bought. Beth’s new ‘ink bib’ was
capital, and Hannah’s box of hard gingerbread will be a treasure. I’ll
be sure and wear the nice flannels you sent, Marmee, and read carefully
the books Father has marked. Thank you all, heaps and heaps!
Speaking of books reminds me that I’m getting rich in that line, for on
New Year’s Day Mr. Bhaer gave me a fine Shakespeare. It is one he
values much, and I’ve often admired it, set up in the place of honor
with his German Bible, Plato, Homer, and Milton, so you may imagine how
I felt when he brought it down, without its cover, and showed me my own
name in it, “from my friend Friedrich Bhaer”.
“You say often you wish a library. Here I gif you one, for between
these lids (he meant covers) is many books in one. Read him well, and
he will help you much, for the study of character in this book will
help you to read it in the world and paint it with your pen.”
I thanked him as well as I could, and talk now about ‘my library’, as
if I had a hundred books. I never knew how much there was in
Shakespeare before, but then I never had a Bhaer to explain it to me.
Now don’t laugh at his horrid name. It isn’t pronounced either Bear or
Beer, as people will say it, but something between the two, as only
Germans can give it. I’m glad you both like what I tell you about him,
and hope you will know him some day. Mother would admire his warm
heart, Father his wise head. I admire both, and feel rich in my new
‘friend Friedrich Bhaer’.
Not having much money, or knowing what he’d like, I got several little
things, and put them about the room, where he would find them
unexpectedly. They were useful, pretty, or funny, a new standish on his
table, a little vase for his flower, he always has one, or a bit of
green in a glass, to keep him fresh, he says, and a holder for his
blower, so that he needn’t burn up what Amy calls ‘mouchoirs’. I made
it like those Beth invented, a big butterfly with a fat body, and black
and yellow wings, worsted feelers, and bead eyes. It took his fancy
immensely, and he put it on his mantlepiece as an article of virtue, so
it was rather a failure after all. Poor as he is, he didn’t forget a
servant or a child in the house, and not a soul here, from the French
laundrywoman to Miss Norton forgot him. I was so glad of that.
They got up a masquerade, and had a gay time New Year’s Eve. I didn’t
mean to go down, having no dress. But at the last minute, Mrs. Kirke
remembered some old brocades, and Miss Norton lent me lace and
feathers. So I dressed up as Mrs. Malaprop, and sailed in with a mask
on. No one knew me, for I disguised my voice, and no one dreamed of the
silent, haughty Miss March (for they think I am very stiff and cool,
most of them, and so I am to whippersnappers) could dance and dress,
and burst out into a ‘nice derangement of epitaphs, like an allegory on
the banks of the Nile’. I enjoyed it very much, and when we unmasked it
was fun to see them stare at me. I heard one of the young men tell
another that he knew I’d been an actress, in fact, he thought he
remembered seeing me at one of the minor theaters. Meg will relish that
joke. Mr. Bhaer was Nick Bottom, and Tina was Titania, a perfect little
fairy in his arms. To see them dance was ‘quite a landscape’, to use a
Teddyism.
I had a very happy New Year, after all, and when I thought it over in
my room, I felt as if I was getting on a little in spite of my many
failures, for I’m cheerful all the time now, work with a will, and take
more interest in other people than I used to, which is satisfactory.
Bless you all! Ever your loving... Jo
Chapter 34. FRIEND
Though very happy in the social atmosphere about her, and very busy
with the daily work that earned her bread and made it sweeter for the
effort, Jo still found time for literary labors. The purpose which now
took possession of her was a natural one to a poor and ambitious girl,
but the means she took to gain her end were not the best. She saw that
money conferred power, money and power, therefore, she resolved to
have, not to be used for herself alone, but for those whom she loved
more than life. The dream of filling home with comforts, giving Beth
everything she wanted, from strawberries in winter to an organ in her
bedroom, going abroad herself, and always having more than enough, so
that she might indulge in the luxury of charity, had been for years
Jo’s most cherished castle in the air.
The prize-story experience had seemed to open a way which might, after
long traveling and much uphill work, lead to this delightful chateau en
Espagne. But the novel disaster quenched her courage for a time, for
public opinion is a giant which has frightened stouter-hearted Jacks on
bigger beanstalks than hers. Like that immortal hero, she reposed
awhile after the first attempt, which resulted in a tumble and the
least lovely of the giant’s treasures, if I remember rightly. But the
‘up again and take another’ spirit was as strong in Jo as in Jack, so
she scrambled up on the shady side this time and got more booty, but
nearly left behind her what was far more precious than the moneybags.
She took to writing sensation stories, for in those dark ages, even
all-perfect America read rubbish. She told no one, but concocted a
‘thrilling tale’, and boldly carried it herself to Mr. Dashwood, editor
of the Weekly Volcano. She had never read Sartor Resartus, but she had
a womanly instinct that clothes possess an influence more powerful over
many than the worth of character or the magic of manners. So she
dressed herself in her best, and trying to persuade herself that she
was neither excited nor nervous, bravely climbed two pairs of dark and
dirty stairs to find herself in a disorderly room, a cloud of cigar
smoke, and the presence of three gentlemen, sitting with their heels
rather higher than their hats, which articles of dress none of them
took the trouble to remove on her appearance. Somewhat daunted by this
reception, Jo hesitated on the threshold, murmuring in much
embarrassment...
“Excuse me, I was looking for the Weekly Volcano office. I wished to
see Mr. Dashwood.”
Down went the highest pair of heels, up rose the smokiest gentleman,
and carefully cherishing his cigar between his fingers, he advanced
with a nod and a countenance expressive of nothing but sleep. Feeling
that she must get through the matter somehow, Jo produced her
manuscript and, blushing redder and redder with each sentence,
blundered out fragments of the little speech carefully prepared for the
occasion.
“A friend of mine desired me to offer—a story—just as an
experiment—would like your opinion—be glad to write more if this
suits.”
While she blushed and blundered, Mr. Dashwood had taken the manuscript,
and was turning over the leaves with a pair of rather dirty fingers,
and casting critical glances up and down the neat pages.
“Not a first attempt, I take it?” observing that the pages were
numbered, covered only on one side, and not tied up with a ribbon—sure
sign of a novice.
“No, sir. She has had some experience, and got a prize for a tale in
the _Blarneystone Banner_.”
“Oh, did she?” and Mr. Dashwood gave Jo a quick look, which seemed to
take note of everything she had on, from the bow in her bonnet to the
buttons on her boots. “Well, you can leave it, if you like. We’ve more
of this sort of thing on hand than we know what to do with at present,
but I’ll run my eye over it, and give you an answer next week.”
Now, Jo did _not_ like to leave it, for Mr. Dashwood didn’t suit her at
all, but, under the circumstances, there was nothing for her to do but
bow and walk away, looking particularly tall and dignified, as she was
apt to do when nettled or abashed. Just then she was both, for it was
perfectly evident from the knowing glances exchanged among the
gentlemen that her little fiction of ‘my friend’ was considered a good
joke, and a laugh, produced by some inaudible remark of the editor, as
he closed the door, completed her discomfiture. Half resolving never to
return, she went home, and worked off her irritation by stitching
pinafores vigorously, and in an hour or two was cool enough to laugh
over the scene and long for next week.
When she went again, Mr. Dashwood was alone, whereat she rejoiced. Mr.
Dashwood was much wider awake than before, which was agreeable, and Mr.
Dashwood was not too deeply absorbed in a cigar to remember his
manners, so the second interview was much more comfortable than the
first.
“We’ll take this (editors never say I), if you don’t object to a few
alterations. It’s too long, but omitting the passages I’ve marked will
make it just the right length,” he said, in a businesslike tone.
Jo hardly knew her own MS. again, so crumpled and underscored were its
pages and paragraphs, but feeling as a tender parent might on being
asked to cut off her baby’s legs in order that it might fit into a new
cradle, she looked at the marked passages and was surprised to find
that all the moral reflections—which she had carefully put in as
ballast for much romance—had been stricken out.
“But, Sir, I thought every story should have some sort of a moral, so I
took care to have a few of my sinners repent.”
Mr. Dashwoods’s editorial gravity relaxed into a smile, for Jo had
forgotten her ‘friend’, and spoken as only an author could.
“People want to be amused, not preached at, you know. Morals don’t sell
nowadays.” Which was not quite a correct statement, by the way.
“You think it would do with these alterations, then?”
“Yes, it’s a new plot, and pretty well worked up—language good, and so
on,” was Mr. Dashwood’s affable reply.
“What do you—that is, what compensation—” began Jo, not exactly knowing
how to express herself.
“Oh, yes, well, we give from twenty-five to thirty for things of this
sort. Pay when it comes out,” returned Mr. Dashwood, as if that point
had escaped him. Such trifles do escape the editorial mind, it is said.
“Very well, you can have it,” said Jo, handing back the story with a
satisfied air, for after the dollar-a-column work, even twenty-five
seemed good pay.
“Shall I tell my friend you will take another if she has one better
than this?” asked Jo, unconscious of her little slip of the tongue, and
emboldened by her success.
“Well, we’ll look at it. Can’t promise to take it. Tell her to make it
short and spicy, and never mind the moral. What name would your friend
like to put on it?” in a careless tone.
“None at all, if you please, she doesn’t wish her name to appear and
has no nom de plume,” said Jo, blushing in spite of herself.
“Just as she likes, of course. The tale will be out next week. Will you
call for the money, or shall I send it?” asked Mr. Dashwood, who felt a
natural desire to know who his new contributor might be.
“I’ll call. Good morning, Sir.”
As she departed, Mr. Dashwood put up his feet, with the graceful
remark, “Poor and proud, as usual, but she’ll do.”
Following Mr. Dashwood’s directions, and making Mrs. Northbury her
model, Jo rashly took a plunge into the frothy sea of sensational
literature, but thanks to the life preserver thrown her by a friend,
she came up again not much the worse for her ducking.
Like most young scribblers, she went abroad for her characters and
scenery, and banditti, counts, gypsies, nuns, and duchesses appeared
upon her stage, and played their parts with as much accuracy and spirit
as could be expected. Her readers were not particular about such
trifles as grammar, punctuation, and probability, and Mr. Dashwood
graciously permitted her to fill his columns at the lowest prices, not
thinking it necessary to tell her that the real cause of his
hospitality was the fact that one of his hacks, on being offered higher
wages, had basely left him in the lurch.
She soon became interested in her work, for her emaciated purse grew
stout, and the little hoard she was making to take Beth to the
mountains next summer grew slowly but surely as the weeks passed. One
thing disturbed her satisfaction, and that was that she did not tell
them at home. She had a feeling that Father and Mother would not
approve, and preferred to have her own way first, and beg pardon
afterward. It was easy to keep her secret, for no name appeared with
her stories. Mr. Dashwood had of course found it out very soon, but
promised to be dumb, and for a wonder kept his word.
She thought it would do her no harm, for she sincerely meant to write
nothing of which she would be ashamed, and quieted all pricks of
conscience by anticipations of the happy minute when she should show
her earnings and laugh over her well-kept secret.
But Mr. Dashwood rejected any but thrilling tales, and as thrills could
not be produced except by harrowing up the souls of the readers,
history and romance, land and sea, science and art, police records and
lunatic asylums, had to be ransacked for the purpose. Jo soon found
that her innocent experience had given her but few glimpses of the
tragic world which underlies society, so regarding it in a business
light, she set about supplying her deficiencies with characteristic
energy. Eager to find material for stories, and bent on making them
original in plot, if not masterly in execution, she searched newspapers
for accidents, incidents, and crimes. She excited the suspicions of
public librarians by asking for works on poisons. She studied faces in
the street, and characters, good, bad, and indifferent, all about her.
She delved in the dust of ancient times for facts or fictions so old
that they were as good as new, and introduced herself to folly, sin,
and misery, as well as her limited opportunities allowed. She thought
she was prospering finely, but unconsciously she was beginning to
desecrate some of the womanliest attributes of a woman’s character. She
was living in bad society, and imaginary though it was, its influence
affected her, for she was feeding heart and fancy on dangerous and
unsubstantial food, and was fast brushing the innocent bloom from her
nature by a premature acquaintance with the darker side of life, which
comes soon enough to all of us.
She was beginning to feel rather than see this, for much describing of
other people’s passions and feelings set her to studying and
speculating about her own, a morbid amusement in which healthy young
minds do not voluntarily indulge. Wrongdoing always brings its own
punishment, and when Jo most needed hers, she got it.
I don’t know whether the study of Shakespeare helped her to read
character, or the natural instinct of a woman for what was honest,
brave, and strong, but while endowing her imaginary heroes with every
perfection under the sun, Jo was discovering a live hero, who
interested her in spite of many human imperfections. Mr. Bhaer, in one
of their conversations, had advised her to study simple, true, and
lovely characters, wherever she found them, as good training for a
writer. Jo took him at his word, for she coolly turned round and
studied him—a proceeding which would have much surprised him, had he
known it, for the worthy Professor was very humble in his own conceit.
Why everybody liked him was what puzzled Jo, at first. He was neither
rich nor great, young nor handsome, in no respect what is called
fascinating, imposing, or brilliant, and yet he was as attractive as a
genial fire, and people seemed to gather about him as naturally as
about a warm hearth. He was poor, yet always appeared to be giving
something away; a stranger, yet everyone was his friend; no longer
young, but as happy-hearted as a boy; plain and peculiar, yet his face
looked beautiful to many, and his oddities were freely forgiven for his
sake. Jo often watched him, trying to discover the charm, and at last
decided that it was benevolence which worked the miracle. If he had any
sorrow, ‘it sat with its head under its wing’, and he turned only his
sunny side to the world. There were lines upon his forehead, but Time
seemed to have touched him gently, remembering how kind he was to
others. The pleasant curves about his mouth were the memorials of many
friendly words and cheery laughs, his eyes were never cold or hard, and
his big hand had a warm, strong grasp that was more expressive than
words.
His very clothes seemed to partake of the hospitable nature of the
wearer. They looked as if they were at ease, and liked to make him
comfortable. His capacious waistcoat was suggestive of a large heart
underneath. His rusty coat had a social air, and the baggy pockets
plainly proved that little hands often went in empty and came out full.
His very boots were benevolent, and his collars never stiff and raspy
like other people’s.
“That’s it!” said Jo to herself, when she at length discovered that
genuine good will toward one’s fellow men could beautify and dignify
even a stout German teacher, who shoveled in his dinner, darned his own
socks, and was burdened with the name of Bhaer.
Jo valued goodness highly, but she also possessed a most feminine
respect for intellect, and a little discovery which she made about the
Professor added much to her regard for him. He never spoke of himself,
and no one ever knew that in his native city he had been a man much
honored and esteemed for learning and integrity, till a countryman came
to see him. He never spoke of himself, and in a conversation with Miss
Norton divulged the pleasing fact. From her Jo learned it, and liked it
all the better because Mr. Bhaer had never told it. She felt proud to
know that he was an honored Professor in Berlin, though only a poor
language-master in America, and his homely, hard-working life was much
beautified by the spice of romance which this discovery gave it.
Another and a better gift than intellect was shown her in a most
unexpected manner. Miss Norton had the entree into most society, which
Jo would have had no chance of seeing but for her. The solitary woman
felt an interest in the ambitious girl, and kindly conferred many
favors of this sort both on Jo and the Professor. She took them with
her one night to a select symposium, held in honor of several
celebrities.
Jo went prepared to bow down and adore the mighty ones whom she had
worshiped with youthful enthusiasm afar off. But her reverence for
genius received a severe shock that night, and it took her some time to
recover from the discovery that the great creatures were only men and
women after all. Imagine her dismay, on stealing a glance of timid
admiration at the poet whose lines suggested an ethereal being fed on
‘spirit, fire, and dew’, to behold him devouring his supper with an
ardor which flushed his intellectual countenance. Turning as from a
fallen idol, she made other discoveries which rapidly dispelled her
romantic illusions. The great novelist vibrated between two decanters
with the regularity of a pendulum; the famous divine flirted openly
with one of the Madame de Staels of the age, who looked daggers at
another Corinne, who was amiably satirizing her, after outmaneuvering
her in efforts to absorb the profound philosopher, who imbibed tea
Johnsonianly and appeared to slumber, the loquacity of the lady
rendering speech impossible. The scientific celebrities, forgetting
their mollusks and glacial periods, gossiped about art, while devoting
themselves to oysters and ices with characteristic energy; the young
musician, who was charming the city like a second Orpheus, talked
horses; and the specimen of the British nobility present happened to be
the most ordinary man of the party.
Before the evening was half over, Jo felt so completely disillusioned,
that she sat down in a corner to recover herself. Mr. Bhaer soon joined
her, looking rather out of his element, and presently several of the
philosophers, each mounted on his hobby, came ambling up to hold an
intellectual tournament in the recess. The conversations were miles
beyond Jo’s comprehension, but she enjoyed it, though Kant and Hegel
were unknown gods, the Subjective and Objective unintelligible terms,
and the only thing ‘evolved from her inner consciousness’ was a bad
headache after it was all over. It dawned upon her gradually that the
world was being picked to pieces, and put together on new and,
according to the talkers, on infinitely better principles than before,
that religion was in a fair way to be reasoned into nothingness, and
intellect was to be the only God. Jo knew nothing about philosophy or
metaphysics of any sort, but a curious excitement, half pleasurable,
half painful, came over her as she listened with a sense of being
turned adrift into time and space, like a young balloon out on a
holiday.
She looked round to see how the Professor liked it, and found him
looking at her with the grimmest expression she had ever seen him wear.
He shook his head and beckoned her to come away, but she was fascinated
just then by the freedom of Speculative Philosophy, and kept her seat,
trying to find out what the wise gentlemen intended to rely upon after
they had annihilated all the old beliefs.
Now, Mr. Bhaer was a diffident man and slow to offer his own opinions,
not because they were unsettled, but too sincere and earnest to be
lightly spoken. As he glanced from Jo to several other young people,
attracted by the brilliancy of the philosophic pyrotechnics, he knit
his brows and longed to speak, fearing that some inflammable young soul
would be led astray by the rockets, to find when the display was over
that they had only an empty stick or a scorched hand.
He bore it as long as he could, but when he was appealed to for an
opinion, he blazed up with honest indignation and defended religion
with all the eloquence of truth—an eloquence which made his broken
English musical and his plain face beautiful. He had a hard fight, for
the wise men argued well, but he didn’t know when he was beaten and
stood to his colors like a man. Somehow, as he talked, the world got
right again to Jo. The old beliefs, that had lasted so long, seemed
better than the new. God was not a blind force, and immortality was not
a pretty fable, but a blessed fact. She felt as if she had solid ground
under her feet again, and when Mr. Bhaer paused, outtalked but not one
whit convinced, Jo wanted to clap her hands and thank him.
She did neither, but she remembered the scene, and gave the Professor
her heartiest respect, for she knew it cost him an effort to speak out
then and there, because his conscience would not let him be silent. She
began to see that character is a better possession than money, rank,
intellect, or beauty, and to feel that if greatness is what a wise man
has defined it to be, ‘truth, reverence, and good will’, then her
friend Friedrich Bhaer was not only good, but great.
This belief strengthened daily. She valued his esteem, she coveted his
respect, she wanted to be worthy of his friendship, and just when the
wish was sincerest, she came near to losing everything. It all grew out
of a cocked hat, for one evening the Professor came in to give Jo her
lesson with a paper soldier cap on his head, which Tina had put there
and he had forgotten to take off.
“It’s evident he doesn’t look in his glass before coming down,” thought
Jo, with a smile, as he said “Goot efening,” and sat soberly down,
quite unconscious of the ludicrous contrast between his subject and his
headgear, for he was going to read her the Death of Wallenstein.
She said nothing at first, for she liked to hear him laugh out his big,
hearty laugh when anything funny happened, so she left him to discover
it for himself, and presently forgot all about it, for to hear a German
read Schiller is rather an absorbing occupation. After the reading came
the lesson, which was a lively one, for Jo was in a gay mood that
night, and the cocked hat kept her eyes dancing with merriment. The
Professor didn’t know what to make of her, and stopped at last to ask
with an air of mild surprise that was irresistible. . .
“Mees Marsch, for what do you laugh in your master’s face? Haf you no
respect for me, that you go on so bad?”
“How can I be respectful, Sir, when you forget to take your hat off?”
said Jo.
Lifting his hand to his head, the absent-minded Professor gravely felt
and removed the little cocked hat, looked at it a minute, and then
threw back his head and laughed like a merry bass viol.
“Ah! I see him now, it is that imp Tina who makes me a fool with my
cap. Well, it is nothing, but see you, if this lesson goes not well,
you too shall wear him.”
But the lesson did not go at all for a few minutes because Mr. Bhaer
caught sight of a picture on the hat, and unfolding it, said with great
disgust, “I wish these papers did not come in the house. They are not
for children to see, nor young people to read. It is not well, and I
haf no patience with those who make this harm.”
Jo glanced at the sheet and saw a pleasing illustration composed of a
lunatic, a corpse, a villain, and a viper. She did not like it, but the
impulse that made her turn it over was not one of displeasure but fear,
because for a minute she fancied the paper was the Volcano. It was not,
however, and her panic subsided as she remembered that even if it had
been and one of her own tales in it, there would have been no name to
betray her. She had betrayed herself, however, by a look and a blush,
for though an absent man, the Professor saw a good deal more than
people fancied. He knew that Jo wrote, and had met her down among the
newspaper offices more than once, but as she never spoke of it, he
asked no questions in spite of a strong desire to see her work. Now it
occurred to him that she was doing what she was ashamed to own, and it
troubled him. He did not say to himself, “It is none of my business.
I’ve no right to say anything,” as many people would have done. He only
remembered that she was young and poor, a girl far away from mother’s
love and father’s care, and he was moved to help her with an impulse as
quick and natural as that which would prompt him to put out his hand to
save a baby from a puddle. All this flashed through his mind in a
minute, but not a trace of it appeared in his face, and by the time the
paper was turned, and Jo’s needle threaded, he was ready to say quite
naturally, but very gravely...
“Yes, you are right to put it from you. I do not think that good young
girls should see such things. They are made pleasant to some, but I
would more rather give my boys gunpowder to play with than this bad
trash.”
“All may not be bad, only silly, you know, and if there is a demand for
it, I don’t see any harm in supplying it. Many very respectable people
make an honest living out of what are called sensation stories,” said
Jo, scratching gathers so energetically that a row of little slits
followed her pin.
“There is a demand for whisky, but I think you and I do not care to
sell it. If the respectable people knew what harm they did, they would
not feel that the living was honest. They haf no right to put poison in
the sugarplum, and let the small ones eat it. No, they should think a
little, and sweep mud in the street before they do this thing.”
Mr. Bhaer spoke warmly, and walked to the fire, crumpling the paper in
his hands. Jo sat still, looking as if the fire had come to her, for
her cheeks burned long after the cocked hat had turned to smoke and
gone harmlessly up the chimney.
“I should like much to send all the rest after him,” muttered the
Professor, coming back with a relieved air.
Jo thought what a blaze her pile of papers upstairs would make, and her
hard-earned money lay rather heavily on her conscience at that minute.
Then she thought consolingly to herself, “Mine are not like that, they
are only silly, never bad, so I won’t be worried,” and taking up her
book, she said, with a studious face, “Shall we go on, Sir? I’ll be
very good and proper now.”
“I shall hope so,” was all he said, but he meant more than she
imagined, and the grave, kind look he gave her made her feel as if the
words Weekly Volcano were printed in large type on her forehead.
As soon as she went to her room, she got out her papers, and carefully
reread every one of her stories. Being a little shortsighted, Mr. Bhaer
sometimes used eye glasses, and Jo had tried them once, smiling to see
how they magnified the fine print of her book. Now she seemed to have
on the Professor’s mental or moral spectacles also, for the faults of
these poor stories glared at her dreadfully and filled her with dismay.
“They are trash, and will soon be worse trash if I go on, for each is
more sensational than the last. I’ve gone blindly on, hurting myself
and other people, for the sake of money. I know it’s so, for I can’t
read this stuff in sober earnest without being horribly ashamed of it,
and what should I do if they were seen at home or Mr. Bhaer got hold of
them?”
Jo turned hot at the bare idea, and stuffed the whole bundle into her
stove, nearly setting the chimney afire with the blaze.
“Yes, that’s the best place for such inflammable nonsense. I’d better
burn the house down, I suppose, than let other people blow themselves
up with my gunpowder,” she thought as she watched the Demon of the Jura
whisk away, a little black cinder with fiery eyes.
But when nothing remained of all her three month’s work except a heap
of ashes and the money in her lap, Jo looked sober, as she sat on the
floor, wondering what she ought to do about her wages.
“I think I haven’t done much harm yet, and may keep this to pay for my
time,” she said, after a long meditation, adding impatiently, “I almost
wish I hadn’t any conscience, it’s so inconvenient. If I didn’t care
about doing right, and didn’t feel uncomfortable when doing wrong, I
should get on capitally. I can’t help wishing sometimes, that Mother
and Father hadn’t been so particular about such things.”
Ah, Jo, instead of wishing that, thank God that ‘Father and Mother were
particular’, and pity from your heart those who have no such guardians
to hedge them round with principles which may seem like prison walls to
impatient youth, but which will prove sure foundations to build
character upon in womanhood.
Jo wrote no more sensational stories, deciding that the money did not
pay for her share of the sensation, but going to the other extreme, as
is the way with people of her stamp, she took a course of Mrs.
Sherwood, Miss Edgeworth, and Hannah More, and then produced a tale
which might have been more properly called an essay or a sermon, so
intensely moral was it. She had her doubts about it from the beginning,
for her lively fancy and girlish romance felt as ill at ease in the new
style as she would have done masquerading in the stiff and cumbrous
costume of the last century. She sent this didactic gem to several
markets, but it found no purchaser, and she was inclined to agree with
Mr. Dashwood that morals didn’t sell.
Then she tried a child’s story, which she could easily have disposed of
if she had not been mercenary enough to demand filthy lucre for it. The
only person who offered enough to make it worth her while to try
juvenile literature was a worthy gentleman who felt it his mission to
convert all the world to his particular belief. But much as she liked
to write for children, Jo could not consent to depict all her naughty
boys as being eaten by bears or tossed by mad bulls because they did
not go to a particular Sabbath school, nor all the good infants who did
go as rewarded by every kind of bliss, from gilded gingerbread to
escorts of angels when they departed this life with psalms or sermons
on their lisping tongues. So nothing came of these trials, and Jo
corked up her inkstand, and said in a fit of very wholesome humility...
“I don’t know anything. I’ll wait until I do before I try again, and
meantime, ‘sweep mud in the street’ if I can’t do better, that’s
honest, at least.” Which decision proved that her second tumble down
the beanstalk had done her some good.
While these internal revolutions were going on, her external life had
been as busy and uneventful as usual, and if she sometimes looked
serious or a little sad no one observed it but Professor Bhaer. He did
it so quietly that Jo never knew he was watching to see if she would
accept and profit by his reproof, but she stood the test, and he was
satisfied, for though no words passed between them, he knew that she
had given up writing. Not only did he guess it by the fact that the
second finger of her right hand was no longer inky, but she spent her
evenings downstairs now, was met no more among newspaper offices, and
studied with a dogged patience, which assured him that she was bent on
occupying her mind with something useful, if not pleasant.
He helped her in many ways, proving himself a true friend, and Jo was
happy, for while her pen lay idle, she was learning other lessons
besides German, and laying a foundation for the sensation story of her
own life.
It was a pleasant winter and a long one, for she did not leave Mrs.
Kirke till June. Everyone seemed sorry when the time came. The children
were inconsolable, and Mr. Bhaer’s hair stuck straight up all over his
head, for he always rumpled it wildly when disturbed in mind.
“Going home? Ah, you are happy that you haf a home to go in,” he said,
when she told him, and sat silently pulling his beard in the corner,
while she held a little levee on that last evening.
She was going early, so she bade them all goodbye overnight, and when
his turn came, she said warmly, “Now, Sir, you won’t forget to come and
see us, if you ever travel our way, will you? I’ll never forgive you if
you do, for I want them all to know my friend.”
“Do you? Shall I come?” he asked, looking down at her with an eager
expression which she did not see.
“Yes, come next month. Laurie graduates then, and you’d enjoy
commencement as something new.”
“That is your best friend, of whom you speak?” he said in an altered
tone.
“Yes, my boy Teddy. I’m very proud of him and should like you to see
him.”
Jo looked up then, quite unconscious of anything but her own pleasure
in the prospect of showing them to one another. Something in Mr.
Bhaer’s face suddenly recalled the fact that she might find Laurie more
than a ‘best friend’, and simply because she particularly wished not to
look as if anything was the matter, she involuntarily began to blush,
and the more she tried not to, the redder she grew. If it had not been
for Tina on her knee. She didn’t know what would have become of her.
Fortunately the child was moved to hug her, so she managed to hide her
face an instant, hoping the Professor did not see it. But he did, and
his own changed again from that momentary anxiety to its usual
expression, as he said cordially...
“I fear I shall not make the time for that, but I wish the friend much
success, and you all happiness. Gott bless you!” And with that, he
shook hands warmly, shouldered Tina, and went away.
But after the boys were abed, he sat long before his fire with the
tired look on his face and the ‘heimweh’, or homesickness, lying heavy
at his heart. Once, when he remembered Jo as she sat with the little
child in her lap and that new softness in her face, he leaned his head
on his hands a minute, and then roamed about the room, as if in search
of something that he could not find.
“It is not for me, I must not hope it now,” he said to himself, with a
sigh that was almost a groan. Then, as if reproaching himself for the
longing that he could not repress, he went and kissed the two tousled
heads upon the pillow, took down his seldom-used meerschaum, and opened
his Plato.
He did his best and did it manfully, but I don’t think he found that a
pair of rampant boys, a pipe, or even the divine Plato, were very
satisfactory substitutes for wife and child at home.
Early as it was, he was at the station next morning to see Jo off, and
thanks to him, she began her solitary journey with the pleasant memory
of a familiar face smiling its farewell, a bunch of violets to keep her
company, and best of all, the happy thought, “Well, the winter’s gone,
and I’ve written no books, earned no fortune, but I’ve made a friend
worth having and I’ll try to keep him all my life.”