บทที่ บทที่ 24 · OF PAQUETTE AND FRIAR GIROFLEE.

Upon their arrival at Venice, Candide went to search for Cacambo at

every inn and coffee-house, and among all the ladies of pleasure, but to

no purpose. He sent every day to inquire on all the ships that came in.

But there was no news of Cacambo.

"What!" said he to Martin, "I have had time to voyage from Surinam to

Bordeaux, to go from Bordeaux to Paris, from Paris to Dieppe, from

Dieppe to Portsmouth, to coast along Portugal and Spain, to cross the

whole Mediterranean, to spend some months, and yet the beautiful

Cunegonde has not arrived! Instead of her I have only met a Parisian

wench and a Perigordian Abbe. Cunegonde is dead without doubt, and there

is nothing for me but to die. Alas! how much better it would have been

for me to have remained in the paradise of El Dorado than to come back

to this cursed Europe! You are in the right, my dear Martin: all is

misery and illusion."

He fell into a deep melancholy, and neither went to see the opera, nor

any of the other diversions of the Carnival; nay, he was proof against

the temptations of all the ladies.

"You are in truth very simple," said Martin to him, "if you imagine that

a mongrel valet, who has five or six millions in his pocket, will go to

the other end of the world to seek your mistress and bring her to you to

Venice. If he find her, he will keep her to himself; if he do not find

her he will get another. I advise you to forget your valet Cacambo and

your mistress Cunegonde."

Martin was not consoling. Candide's melancholy increased; and Martin

continued to prove to him that there was very little virtue or happiness

upon earth, except perhaps in El Dorado, where nobody could gain

admittance.

While they were disputing on this important subject and waiting for

Cunegonde, Candide saw a young Theatin friar in St. Mark's Piazza,

holding a girl on his arm. The Theatin looked fresh coloured, plump, and

vigorous; his eyes were sparkling, his air assured, his look lofty, and

his step bold. The girl was very pretty, and sang; she looked amorously

at her Theatin, and from time to time pinched his fat cheeks.

"At least you will allow me," said Candide to Martin, "that these two

are happy. Hitherto I have met with none but unfortunate people in the

whole habitable globe, except in El Dorado; but as to this pair, I would

venture to lay a wager that they are very happy."

"I lay you they are not," said Martin.

"We need only ask them to dine with us," said Candide, "and you will see

whether I am mistaken."

Immediately he accosted them, presented his compliments, and invited

them to his inn to eat some macaroni, with Lombard partridges, and

caviare, and to drink some Montepulciano, Lachrymae Christi, Cyprus and

Samos wine. The girl blushed, the Theatin accepted the invitation and

she followed him, casting her eyes on Candide with confusion and

surprise, and dropping a few tears. No sooner had she set foot in

Candide's apartment than she cried out:

"Ah! Mr. Candide does not know Paquette again."

Candide had not viewed her as yet with attention, his thoughts being

entirely taken up with Cunegonde; but recollecting her as she spoke.

"Alas!" said he, "my poor child, it is you who reduced Doctor Pangloss

to the beautiful condition in which I saw him?"

"Alas! it was I, sir, indeed," answered Paquette. "I see that you have

heard all. I have been informed of the frightful disasters that befell

the family of my lady Baroness, and the fair Cunegonde. I swear to you

that my fate has been scarcely less sad. I was very innocent when you

knew me. A Grey Friar, who was my confessor, easily seduced me. The

consequences were terrible. I was obliged to quit the castle some time

after the Baron had sent you away with kicks on the backside. If a

famous surgeon had not taken compassion on me, I should have died. For

some time I was this surgeon's mistress, merely out of gratitude. His

wife, who was mad with jealousy, beat me every day unmercifully; she was

a fury. The surgeon was one of the ugliest of men, and I the most

wretched of women, to be continually beaten for a man I did not love.

You know, sir, what a dangerous thing it is for an ill-natured woman to

be married to a doctor. Incensed at the behaviour of his wife, he one

day gave her so effectual a remedy to cure her of a slight cold, that

she died two hours after, in most horrid convulsions. The wife's

relations prosecuted the husband; he took flight, and I was thrown into

jail. My innocence would not have saved me if I had not been

good-looking. The judge set me free, on condition that he succeeded the

surgeon. I was soon supplanted by a rival, turned out of doors quite

destitute, and obliged to continue this abominable trade, which appears

so pleasant to you men, while to us women it is the utmost abyss of

misery. I have come to exercise the profession at Venice. Ah! sir, if

you could only imagine what it is to be obliged to caress indifferently

an old merchant, a lawyer, a monk, a gondolier, an abbe, to be exposed

to abuse and insults; to be often reduced to borrowing a petticoat, only

to go and have it raised by a disagreeable man; to be robbed by one of

what one has earned from another; to be subject to the extortions of the

officers of justice; and to have in prospect only a frightful old age, a

hospital, and a dung-hill; you would conclude that I am one of the most

unhappy creatures in the world."[33]

Paquette thus opened her heart to honest Candide, in the presence of

Martin, who said to his friend:

"You see that already I have won half the wager."

Friar Giroflee stayed in the dining-room, and drank a glass or two of

wine while he was waiting for dinner.

"But," said Candide to Paquette, "you looked so gay and content when I

met you; you sang and you behaved so lovingly to the Theatin, that you

seemed to me as happy as you pretend to be now the reverse."

"Ah! sir," answered Paquette, "this is one of the miseries of the trade.

Yesterday I was robbed and beaten by an officer; yet to-day I must put

on good humour to please a friar."

Candide wanted no more convincing; he owned that Martin was in the

right. They sat down to table with Paquette and the Theatin; the repast

was entertaining; and towards the end they conversed with all

confidence.

"Father," said Candide to the Friar, "you appear to me to enjoy a state

that all the world might envy; the flower of health shines in your face,

your expression makes plain your happiness; you have a very pretty girl

for your recreation, and you seem well satisfied with your state as a

Theatin."

"My faith, sir," said Friar Giroflee, "I wish that all the Theatins were

at the bottom of the sea. I have been tempted a hundred times to set

fire to the convent, and go and become a Turk. My parents forced me at

the age of fifteen to put on this detestable habit, to increase the

fortune of a cursed elder brother, whom God confound. Jealousy, discord,

and fury, dwell in the convent. It is true I have preached a few bad

sermons that have brought me in a little money, of which the prior stole

half, while the rest serves to maintain my girls; but when I return at

night to the monastery, I am ready to dash my head against the walls of

the dormitory; and all my fellows are in the same case."

Martin turned towards Candide with his usual coolness.

"Well," said he, "have I not won the whole wager?"

Candide gave two thousand piastres to Paquette, and one thousand to

Friar Giroflee.

"I'll answer for it," said he, "that with this they will be happy."

"I do not believe it at all," said Martin; "you will, perhaps, with

these piastres only render them the more unhappy."

"Let that be as it may," said Candide, "but one thing consoles me. I see

that we often meet with those whom we expected never to see more; so

that, perhaps, as I have found my red sheep and Paquette, it may well be

that I shall also find Cunegonde."

"I wish," said Martin, "she may one day make you very happy; but I doubt

it very much."

"You are very hard of belief," said Candide.

"I have lived," said Martin.

"You see those gondoliers," said Candide, "are they not perpetually

singing?"

"You do not see them," said Martin, "at home with their wives and brats.

The Doge has his troubles, the gondoliers have theirs. It is true that,

all things considered, the life of a gondolier is preferable to that of

a Doge; but I believe the difference to be so trifling that it is not

worth the trouble of examining."

"People talk," said Candide, "of the Senator Pococurante, who lives in

that fine palace on the Brenta, where he entertains foreigners in the

politest manner. They pretend that this man has never felt any

uneasiness."

"I should be glad to see such a rarity," said Martin.

Candide immediately sent to ask the Lord Pococurante permission to wait

upon him the next day.

XXV