บทที่ บทที่ 26 · How the inhabitants of Lerne

Chapter 1.XXVI.

How the inhabitants of Lerne, by the commandment of Picrochole their king,

assaulted the shepherds of Gargantua unexpectedly and on a sudden.

The cake-bakers, being returned to Lerne, went presently, before they did

either eat or drink, to the Capitol, and there before their king, called

Picrochole, the third of that name, made their complaint, showing their

panniers broken, their caps all crumpled, their coats torn, their cakes

taken away, but, above all, Marquet most enormously wounded, saying that

all that mischief was done by the shepherds and herdsmen of Grangousier,

near the broad highway beyond Seville. Picrochole incontinent grew angry

and furious; and, without asking any further what, how, why, or wherefore,

commanded the ban and arriere ban to be sounded throughout all his country,

that all his vassals of what condition soever should, upon pain of the

halter, come, in the best arms they could, unto the great place before the

castle, at the hour of noon, and, the better to strengthen his design, he

caused the drum to be beat about the town. Himself, whilst his dinner was

making ready, went to see his artillery mounted upon the carriage, to

display his colours, and set up the great royal standard, and loaded wains

with store of ammunition both for the field and the belly, arms and

victuals. At dinner he despatched his commissions, and by his express

edict my Lord Shagrag was appointed to command the vanguard, wherein were

numbered sixteen thousand and fourteen arquebusiers or firelocks, together

with thirty thousand and eleven volunteer adventurers. The great

Touquedillon, master of the horse, had the charge of the ordnance, wherein

were reckoned nine hundred and fourteen brazen pieces, in cannons, double

cannons, basilisks, serpentines, culverins, bombards or murderers, falcons,

bases or passevolins, spirols, and other sorts of great guns. The

rearguard was committed to the Duke of Scrapegood. In the main battle was

the king and the princes of his kingdom. Thus being hastily furnished,

before they would set forward, they sent three hundred light horsemen,

under the conduct of Captain Swillwind, to discover the country, clear the

avenues, and see whether there was any ambush laid for them. But, after

they had made diligent search, they found all the land round about in peace

and quiet, without any meeting or convention at all; which Picrochole

understanding, commanded that everyone should march speedily under his

colours. Then immediately in all disorder, without keeping either rank or

file, they took the fields one amongst another, wasting, spoiling,

destroying, and making havoc of all wherever they went, not sparing poor

nor rich, privileged or unprivileged places, church nor laity, drove away

oxen and cows, bulls, calves, heifers, wethers, ewes, lambs, goats, kids,

hens, capons, chickens, geese, ganders, goslings, hogs, swine, pigs, and

such like; beating down the walnuts, plucking the grapes, tearing the

hedges, shaking the fruit-trees, and committing such incomparable abuses,

that the like abomination was never heard of. Nevertheless, they met with

none to resist them, for everyone submitted to their mercy, beseeching them

that they might be dealt with courteously in regard that they had always

carried themselves as became good and loving neighbours, and that they had

never been guilty of any wrong or outrage done upon them, to be thus

suddenly surprised, troubled, and disquieted, and that, if they would not

desist, God would punish them very shortly. To which expostulations and

remonstrances no other answer was made, but that they would teach them to

eat cakes.