บทที่ บทที่ 34 · How Gargantua left the city

Chapter 1.XXXIV.

How Gargantua left the city of Paris to succour his country, and how

Gymnast encountered with the enemy.

In this same very hour Gargantua, who was gone out of Paris as soon as he

had read his father’s letters, coming upon his great mare, had already

passed the Nunnery-bridge, himself, Ponocrates, Gymnast, and Eudemon, who

all three, the better to enable them to go along with him, took

post-horses. The rest of his train came after him by even journeys at a

slower pace, bringing with them all his books and philosophical instruments.

As soon as he had alighted at Parille, he was informed by a farmer of

Gouguet how Picrochole had fortified himself within the rock Clermond, and

had sent Captain Tripet with a great army to set upon the wood of Vede and

Vaugaudry, and that they had already plundered the whole country, not

leaving cock nor hen, even as far as to the winepress of Billard. These

strange and almost incredible news of the enormous abuses thus committed

over all the land, so affrighted Gargantua that he knew not what to say nor

do. But Ponocrates counselled him to go unto the Lord of Vauguyon, who at

all times had been their friend and confederate, and that by him they should

be better advised in their business. Which they did incontinently, and

found him very willing and fully resolved to assist them, and therefore was

of opinion that they should send some one of his company to scout along and

discover the country, to learn in what condition and posture the enemy was,

that they might take counsel, and proceed according to the present occasion.

Gymnast offered himself to go. Whereupon it was concluded, that for his

safety and the better expedition, he should have with him someone that knew

the ways, avenues, turnings, windings, and rivers thereabout. Then away went

he and Prelingot, the equerry or gentleman of Vauguyon’s horse, who scouted

and espied as narrowly as they could upon all quarters without any fear. In

the meantime Gargantua took a little refreshment, ate somewhat himself, the

like did those who were with him, and caused to give to his mare a picotine

of oats, that is, three score and fourteen quarters and three bushels.

Gymnast and his comrade rode so long, that at last they met with the enemy’s

forces, all scattered and out of order, plundering, stealing, robbing, and

pillaging all they could lay their hands on. And, as far off as they could

perceive him, they ran thronging upon the back of one another in all haste

towards him, to unload him of his money, and untruss his portmantles. Then

cried he out unto them, My masters, I am a poor devil, I desire you to spare

me. I have yet one crown left. Come, we must drink it, for it is aurum

potabile, and this horse here shall be sold to pay my welcome. Afterwards

take me for one of your own, for never yet was there any man that knew

better how to take, lard, roast, and dress, yea, by G--, to tear asunder and

devour a hen, than I that am here: and for my proficiat I drink to all good

fellows. With that he unscrewed his borracho (which was a great Dutch

leathern bottle), and without putting in his nose drank very honestly. The

maroufle rogues looked upon him, opening their throats a foot wide, and

putting out their tongues like greyhounds, in hopes to drink after him; but

Captain Tripet, in the very nick of that their expectation, came running to

him to see who it was. To him Gymnast offered his bottle, saying, Hold,

captain, drink boldly and spare not; I have been thy taster, it is wine of

La Faye Monjau. What! said Tripet, this fellow gibes and flouts us? Who

art thou? said Tripet. I am, said Gymnast, a poor devil (pauvre diable).

Ha, said Tripet, seeing thou art a poor devil, it is reason that thou

shouldst be permitted to go whithersoever thou wilt, for all poor devils

pass everywhere without toll or tax. But it is not the custom of poor

devils to be so well mounted; therefore, sir devil, come down, and let me

have your horse, and if he do not carry me well, you, master devil, must do

it: for I love a life that such a devil as you should carry me away.