บทที่ บทที่ 14 · “DEFEND THEE, LORD”

“DEFEND THEE, LORD”

I paid three pennies for my breakfast, and a most extravagant

price it was, too, seeing that one could have breakfasted a dozen

persons for that money; but I was feeling good by this time, and

I had always been a kind of spendthrift anyway; and then these

people had wanted to give me the food for nothing, scant as

their provision was, and so it was a grateful pleasure to emphasize

my appreciation and sincere thankfulness with a good big financial

lift where the money would do so much more good than it would

in my helmet, where, these pennies being made of iron and not

stinted in weight, my half-dollar's worth was a good deal of a

burden to me. I spent money rather too freely in those days,

it is true; but one reason for it was that I hadn't got the

proportions of things entirely adjusted, even yet, after so long

a sojourn in Britain--hadn't got along to where I was able to

absolutely realize that a penny in Arthur's land and a couple of

dollars in Connecticut were about one and the same thing: just

twins, as you may say, in purchasing power. If my start from

Camelot could have been delayed a very few days I could have paid

these people in beautiful new coins from our own mint, and that

would have pleased me; and them, too, not less. I had adopted

the American values exclusively. In a week or two now, cents,

nickels, dimes, quarters, and half-dollars, and also a trifle of

gold, would be trickling in thin but steady streams all through

the commercial veins of the kingdom, and I looked to see this

new blood freshen up its life.

The farmers were bound to throw in something, to sort of offset

my liberality, whether I would or no; so I let them give me a flint

and steel; and as soon as they had comfortably bestowed Sandy

and me on our horse, I lit my pipe. When the first blast of smoke

shot out through the bars of my helmet, all those people broke

for the woods, and Sandy went over backwards and struck the ground

with a dull thud. They thought I was one of those fire-belching

dragons they had heard so much about from knights and other

professional liars. I had infinite trouble to persuade those people

to venture back within explaining distance. Then I told them that

this was only a bit of enchantment which would work harm to none

but my enemies. And I promised, with my hand on my heart, that

if all who felt no enmity toward me would come forward and pass

before me they should see that only those who remained behind would

be struck dead. The procession moved with a good deal of promptness.

There were no casualties to report, for nobody had curiosity enough

to remain behind to see what would happen.

I lost some time, now, for these big children, their fears gone,

became so ravished with wonder over my awe-compelling fireworks

that I had to stay there and smoke a couple of pipes out before

they would let me go. Still the delay was not wholly unproductive,

for it took all that time to get Sandy thoroughly wonted to the new

thing, she being so close to it, you know. It plugged up her

conversation mill, too, for a considerable while, and that was

a gain. But above all other benefits accruing, I had learned

something. I was ready for any giant or any ogre that might come

along, now.

We tarried with a holy hermit, that night, and my opportunity

came about the middle of the next afternoon. We were crossing

a vast meadow by way of short-cut, and I was musing absently,

hearing nothing, seeing nothing, when Sandy suddenly interrupted

a remark which she had begun that morning, with the cry:

“Defend thee, lord!--peril of life is toward!”

And she slipped down from the horse and ran a little way and stood.

I looked up and saw, far off in the shade of a tree, half a dozen

armed knights and their squires; and straightway there was bustle

among them and tightening of saddle-girths for the mount. My pipe

was ready and would have been lit, if I had not been lost in

thinking about how to banish oppression from this land and restore

to all its people their stolen rights and manhood without disobliging

anybody. I lit up at once, and by the time I had got a good head

of reserved steam on, here they came. All together, too; none of

those chivalrous magnanimities which one reads so much about

--one courtly rascal at a time, and the rest standing by to see fair

play. No, they came in a body, they came with a whirr and a rush,

they came like a volley from a battery; came with heads low down,

plumes streaming out behind, lances advanced at a level. It was

a handsome sight, a beautiful sight--for a man up a tree. I laid

my lance in rest and waited, with my heart beating, till the iron

wave was just ready to break over me, then spouted a column of

white smoke through the bars of my helmet. You should have seen

the wave go to pieces and scatter! This was a finer sight than

the other one.

But these people stopped, two or three hundred yards away, and

this troubled me. My satisfaction collapsed, and fear came;

I judged I was a lost man. But Sandy was radiant; and was going

to be eloquent--but I stopped her, and told her my magic had

miscarried, somehow or other, and she must mount, with all despatch,

and we must ride for life. No, she wouldn't. She said that my

enchantment had disabled those knights; they were not riding on,

because they couldn't; wait, they would drop out of their saddles

presently, and we would get their horses and harness. I could not

deceive such trusting simplicity, so I said it was a mistake; that

when my fireworks killed at all, they killed instantly; no, the men

would not die, there was something wrong about my apparatus,

I couldn't tell what; but we must hurry and get away, for those

people would attack us again, in a minute. Sandy laughed, and said:

“Lack-a-day, sir, they be not of that breed! Sir Launcelot will

give battle to dragons, and will abide by them, and will assail

them again, and yet again, and still again, until he do conquer

and destroy them; and so likewise will Sir Pellinore and Sir Aglovale

and Sir Carados, and mayhap others, but there be none else that

will venture it, let the idle say what the idle will. And, la,

as to yonder base rufflers, think ye they have not their fill,

but yet desire more?”

“Well, then, what are they waiting for? Why don't they leave?

Nobody's hindering. Good land, I'm willing to let bygones be

bygones, I'm sure.”

“Leave, is it? Oh, give thyself easement as to that. They dream

not of it, no, not they. They wait to yield them.”

“Come--really, is that 'sooth'--as you people say? If they want to,

why don't they?”

“It would like them much; but an ye wot how dragons are esteemed,

ye would not hold them blamable. They fear to come.”

“Well, then, suppose I go to them instead, and--”

“Ah, wit ye well they would not abide your coming. I will go.”

And she did. She was a handy person to have along on a raid.

I would have considered this a doubtful errand, myself. I presently

saw the knights riding away, and Sandy coming back. That was

a relief. I judged she had somehow failed to get the first innings

--I mean in the conversation; otherwise the interview wouldn't have

been so short. But it turned out that she had managed the business

well; in fact, admirably. She said that when she told those people

I was The Boss, it hit them where they lived: “smote them sore

with fear and dread” was her word; and then they were ready to

put up with anything she might require. So she swore them to appear

at Arthur's court within two days and yield them, with horse and

harness, and be my knights henceforth, and subject to my command.

How much better she managed that thing than I should have done

it myself! She was a daisy.