哈克贝利·费恩历险记· Chương 27

Chương Chương 27 · 第27章

I crept to their doors and listened; they was snoring. So I tiptoed

along, and got down stairs all right. There warn’t a sound anywheres. I

peeped through a crack of the dining-room door, and see the men that

was watching the corpse all sound asleep on their chairs. The door was

open into the parlor, where the corpse was laying, and there was a

candle in both rooms. I passed along, and the parlor door was open; but

I see there warn’t nobody in there but the remainders of Peter; so I

shoved on by; but the front door was locked, and the key wasn’t there.

Just then I heard somebody coming down the stairs, back behind me. I

run in the parlor and took a swift look around, and the only place I

see to hide the bag was in the coffin. The lid was shoved along about a

foot, showing the dead man’s face down in there, with a wet cloth over

it, and his shroud on. I tucked the money-bag in under the lid, just

down beyond where his hands was crossed, which made me creep, they was

so cold, and then I run back across the room and in behind the door.

The person coming was Mary Jane. She went to the coffin, very soft, and

kneeled down and looked in; then she put up her handkerchief, and I see

she begun to cry, though I couldn’t hear her, and her back was to me. I

slid out, and as I passed the dining-room I thought I’d make sure them

watchers hadn’t seen me; so I looked through the crack, and everything

was all right. They hadn’t stirred.

I slipped up to bed, feeling ruther blue, on accounts of the thing

playing out that way after I had took so much trouble and run so much

resk about it. Says I, if it could stay where it is, all right; because

when we get down the river a hundred mile or two I could write back to

Mary Jane, and she could dig him up again and get it; but that ain’t

the thing that’s going to happen; the thing that’s going to happen is,

the money ’ll be found when they come to screw on the lid. Then the

king ’ll get it again, and it ’ll be a long day before he gives anybody

another chance to smouch it from him. Of course I _wanted_ to slide

down and get it out of there, but I dasn’t try it. Every minute it was

getting earlier now, and pretty soon some of them watchers would begin

to stir, and I might get catched—catched with six thousand dollars in

my hands that nobody hadn’t hired me to take care of. I don’t wish to

be mixed up in no such business as that, I says to myself.

When I got down stairs in the morning the parlor was shut up, and the

watchers was gone. There warn’t nobody around but the family and the

widow Bartley and our tribe. I watched their faces to see if anything

had been happening, but I couldn’t tell.

Towards the middle of the day the undertaker come with his man, and

they set the coffin in the middle of the room on a couple of chairs,

and then set all our chairs in rows, and borrowed more from the

neighbors till the hall and the parlor and the dining-room was full. I

see the coffin lid was the way it was before, but I dasn’t go to look

in under it, with folks around.

Then the people begun to flock in, and the beats and the girls took

seats in the front row at the head of the coffin, and for a half an

hour the people filed around slow, in single rank, and looked down at

the dead man’s face a minute, and some dropped in a tear, and it was

all very still and solemn, only the girls and the beats holding

handkerchiefs to their eyes and keeping their heads bent, and sobbing a

little. There warn’t no other sound but the scraping of the feet on the

floor and blowing noses—because people always blows them more at a

funeral than they do at other places except church.

When the place was packed full the undertaker he slid around in his

black gloves with his softy soothering ways, putting on the last

touches, and getting people and things all ship-shape and comfortable,

and making no more sound than a cat. He never spoke; he moved people

around, he squeezed in late ones, he opened up passageways, and done it

with nods, and signs with his hands. Then he took his place over

against the wall. He was the softest, glidingest, stealthiest man I

ever see; and there warn’t no more smile to him than there is to a ham.

They had borrowed a melodeum—a sick one; and when everything was ready

a young woman set down and worked it, and it was pretty skreeky and

colicky, and everybody joined in and sung, and Peter was the only one

that had a good thing, according to my notion. Then the Reverend Hobson

opened up, slow and solemn, and begun to talk; and straight off the

most outrageous row busted out in the cellar a body ever heard; it was

only one dog, but he made a most powerful racket, and he kept it up

right along; the parson he had to stand there, over the coffin, and

wait—you couldn’t hear yourself think. It was right down awkward, and

nobody didn’t seem to know what to do. But pretty soon they see that

long-legged undertaker make a sign to the preacher as much as to say,

“Don’t you worry—just depend on me.” Then he stooped down and begun to

glide along the wall, just his shoulders showing over the people’s

heads. So he glided along, and the powwow and racket getting more and

more outrageous all the time; and at last, when he had gone around two

sides of the room, he disappears down cellar. Then in about two seconds

we heard a whack, and the dog he finished up with a most amazing howl

or two, and then everything was dead still, and the parson begun his

solemn talk where he left off. In a minute or two here comes this

undertaker’s back and shoulders gliding along the wall again; and so he

glided and glided around three sides of the room, and then rose up, and

shaded his mouth with his hands, and stretched his neck out towards the

preacher, over the people’s heads, and says, in a kind of a coarse

whisper, “_He had a rat!_” Then he drooped down and glided along the

wall again to his place. You could see it was a great satisfaction to

the people, because naturally they wanted to know. A little thing like

that don’t cost nothing, and it’s just the little things that makes a

man to be looked up to and liked. There warn’t no more popular man in

town than what that undertaker was.

Well, the funeral sermon was very good, but pison long and tiresome;

and then the king he shoved in and got off some of his usual rubbage,

and at last the job was through, and the undertaker begun to sneak up

on the coffin with his screw-driver. I was in a sweat then, and watched

him pretty keen. But he never meddled at all; just slid the lid along

as soft as mush, and screwed it down tight and fast. So there I was! I

didn’t know whether the money was in there or not. So, says I, s’pose

somebody has hogged that bag on the sly?—now how do _I_ know whether to

write to Mary Jane or not? S’pose she dug him up and didn’t find

nothing, what would she think of me? Blame it, I says, I might get

hunted up and jailed; I’d better lay low and keep dark, and not write

at all; the thing’s awful mixed now; trying to better it, I’ve worsened

it a hundred times, and I wish to goodness I’d just let it alone, dad

fetch the whole business!

They buried him, and we come back home, and I went to watching faces

again—I couldn’t help it, and I couldn’t rest easy. But nothing come of

it; the faces didn’t tell me nothing.

The king he visited around in the evening, and sweetened everybody up,

and made himself ever so friendly; and he give out the idea that his

congregation over in England would be in a sweat about him, so he must

hurry and settle up the estate right away and leave for home. He was

very sorry he was so pushed, and so was everybody; they wished he could

stay longer, but they said they could see it couldn’t be done. And he

said of course him and William would take the girls home with them; and

that pleased everybody too, because then the girls would be well fixed

and amongst their own relations; and it pleased the girls, too—tickled

them so they clean forgot they ever had a trouble in the world; and

told him to sell out as quick as he wanted to, they would be ready.

Them poor things was that glad and happy it made my heart ache to see

them getting fooled and lied to so, but I didn’t see no safe way for me

to chip in and change the general tune.

Well, blamed if the king didn’t bill the house and the niggers and all

the property for auction straight off—sale two days after the funeral;

but anybody could buy private beforehand if they wanted to.

So the next day after the funeral, along about noon-time, the girls’

joy got the first jolt. A couple of nigger traders come along, and the

king sold them the niggers reasonable, for three-day drafts as they

called it, and away they went, the two sons up the river to Memphis,

and their mother down the river to Orleans. I thought them poor girls

and them niggers would break their hearts for grief; they cried around

each other, and took on so it most made me down sick to see it. The

girls said they hadn’t ever dreamed of seeing the family separated or

sold away from the town. I can’t ever get it out of my memory, the

sight of them poor miserable girls and niggers hanging around each

other’s necks and crying; and I reckon I couldn’t a stood it all, but

would a had to bust out and tell on our gang if I hadn’t knowed the

sale warn’t no account and the niggers would be back home in a week or

two.

The thing made a big stir in the town, too, and a good many come out

flatfooted and said it was scandalous to separate the mother and the

children that way. It injured the frauds some; but the old fool he

bulled right along, spite of all the duke could say or do, and I tell

you the duke was powerful uneasy.

Next day was auction day. About broad day in the morning the king and

the duke come up in the garret and woke me up, and I see by their look

that there was trouble. The king says:

“Was you in my room night before last?”

“No, your majesty”—which was the way I always called him when nobody

but our gang warn’t around.

“Was you in there yisterday er last night?”

“No, your majesty.”

“Honor bright, now—no lies.”

“Honor bright, your majesty, I’m telling you the truth. I hain’t been

a-near your room since Miss Mary Jane took you and the duke and showed

it to you.”

The duke says:

“Have you seen anybody else go in there?”

“No, your grace, not as I remember, I believe.”

“Stop and think.”

I studied awhile and see my chance; then I says:

“Well, I see the niggers go in there several times.”

Both of them gave a little jump, and looked like they hadn’t ever

expected it, and then like they _had_. Then the duke says:

“What, _all_ of them?”

“No—leastways, not all at once—that is, I don’t think I ever see them

all come _out_ at once but just one time.”

“Hello! When was that?”

“It was the day we had the funeral. In the morning. It warn’t early,

because I overslept. I was just starting down the ladder, and I see

them.”

“Well, go on, _go_ on! What did they do? How’d they act?”

“They didn’t do nothing. And they didn’t act anyway much, as fur as I

see. They tiptoed away; so I seen, easy enough, that they’d shoved in

there to do up your majesty’s room, or something, s’posing you was up;

and found you _warn’t_ up, and so they was hoping to slide out of the

way of trouble without waking you up, if they hadn’t already waked you

up.”

“Great guns, _this_ is a go!” says the king; and both of them looked

pretty sick and tolerable silly. They stood there a-thinking and

scratching their heads a minute, and the duke he bust into a kind of a

little raspy chuckle, and says:

“It does beat all how neat the niggers played their hand. They let on

to be _sorry_ they was going out of this region! And I believed they

_was_ sorry, and so did you, and so did everybody. Don’t ever tell _me_

any more that a nigger ain’t got any histrionic talent. Why, the way

they played that thing it would fool _anybody_. In my opinion, there’s

a fortune in ’em. If I had capital and a theater, I wouldn’t want a

better lay-out than that—and here we’ve gone and sold ’em for a song.

Yes, and ain’t privileged to sing the song yet. Say, where _is_ that

song—that draft?”

“In the bank for to be collected. Where _would_ it be?”

“Well, _that’s_ all right then, thank goodness.”

Says I, kind of timid-like:

“Is something gone wrong?”

The king whirls on me and rips out:

“None o’ your business! You keep your head shet, and mind y’r own

affairs—if you got any. Long as you’re in this town don’t you forgit

_that_—you hear?” Then he says to the duke, “We got to jest swaller it

and say noth’n’: mum’s the word for _us_.”

As they was starting down the ladder the duke he chuckles again, and

says:

“Quick sales _and_ small profits! It’s a good business—yes.”

v

The king snarls around on him and says:

“I was trying to do for the best in sellin’ ’em out so quick. If the

profits has turned out to be none, lackin’ considable, and none to

carry, is it my fault any more’n it’s yourn?”

“Well, _they’d_ be in this house yet and we _wouldn’t_ if I could a got

my advice listened to.”

The king sassed back as much as was safe for him, and then swapped

around and lit into _me_ again. He give me down the banks for not

coming and _telling_ him I see the niggers come out of his room acting

that way—said any fool would a _knowed_ something was up. And then

waltzed in and cussed _himself_ awhile, and said it all come of him not

laying late and taking his natural rest that morning, and he’d be

blamed if he’d ever do it again. So they went off a-jawing; and I felt

dreadful glad I’d worked it all off on to the niggers, and yet hadn’t

done the niggers no harm by it.