Chương Chương 30 · Chapter XXX
.
No penitence and no confessional,
No priest ordains it, yet they’re forced to sit
Amid deep ashes of their vanished years.
Imagine a rambling, patchy house, the best part built of gray stone,
and red-tiled, a round tower jutting at one of the corners, the mellow
darkness of its conical roof surmounted by a weather-cock making an
agreeable object either amidst the gleams and greenth of summer or the
low-hanging clouds and snowy branches of winter: the ground shady with
spreading trees: a great tree flourishing on one side, backward some
Scotch firs on a broken bank where the roots hung naked, and beyond, a
rookery: on the other side a pool overhung with bushes, where the
water-fowl fluttered and screamed: all around, a vast meadow which
might be called a park, bordered by an old plantation and guarded by
stone lodges which looked like little prisons. Outside the gate the
country, once entirely rural and lovely, now black with coal mines, was
chiefly peopled by men and brethren with candles stuck in their hats,
and with a diabolic complexion which laid them peculiarly open to
suspicion in the eyes of the children at Gadsmere—Mrs. Glasher’s four
beautiful children, who had dwelt there for about three years. Now, in
November, when the flower-beds were empty, the trees leafless, and the
pool blackly shivering, one might have said that the place was sombrely
in keeping with the black roads and black mounds which seemed to put
the district in mourning;—except when the children were playing on the
gravel with the dogs for their companions. But Mrs. Glasher, under her
present circumstances, liked Gadsmere as well as she would have liked
any other abode. The complete seclusion of the place, which the
unattractiveness of the country secured, was exactly to her taste. When
she drove her two ponies with a waggonet full of children, there were
no gentry in carriages to be met, only men of business in gigs; at
church there were no eyes she cared to avoid, for the curate’s wife and
the curate himself were either ignorant of anything to her
disadvantage, or ignored it: to them she was simply a widow lady, the
tenant of Gadsmere; and the name of Grandcourt was of little interest
in that district compared with the names of Fletcher and Gawcome, the
lessees of the collieries.
It was full ten years since the elopement of an Irish officer’s
beautiful wife with young Grandcourt, and a consequent duel where the
bullets wounded the air only, had made some little noise. Most of those
who remembered the affair now wondered what had become of that Mrs.
Glasher, whose beauty and brilliancy had made her rather conspicuous to
them in foreign places, where she was known to be living with young
Grandcourt.
That he should have disentangled himself from that connection seemed
only natural and desirable. As to her, it was thought that a woman who
was understood to have forsaken her child along with her husband had
probably sunk lower. Grandcourt had of course got weary of her. He was
much given to the pursuit of women: but a man in his position would by
this time desire to make a suitable marriage with the fair young
daughter of a noble house. No one talked of Mrs. Glasher now, any more
than they talked of the victim in a trial for manslaughter ten years
before: she was a lost vessel after whom nobody would send out an
expedition of search; but Grandcourt was seen in harbor with his colors
flying, registered as seaworthy as ever.
Yet, in fact, Grandcourt had never disentangled himself from Mrs.
Glasher. His passion for her had been the strongest and most lasting he
had ever known; and though it was now as dead as the music of a cracked
flute, it had left a certain dull disposedness, which, on the death of
her husband three years before, had prompted in him a vacillating
notion of marrying her, in accordance with the understanding often
expressed between them during the days of his first ardor. At that
early time Grandcourt would willingly have paid for the freedom to be
won by a divorce; but the husband would not oblige him, not wanting to
be married again himself, and not wishing to have his domestic habits
printed in evidence.
The altered poise which the years had brought in Mrs. Glasher was just
the reverse. At first she was comparatively careless about the
possibility of marriage. It was enough that she had escaped from a
disagreeable husband and found a sort of bliss with a lover who had
completely fascinated her—young, handsome, amorous, and living in the
best style, with equipage and conversation of the kind to be expected
in young men of fortune who have seen everything. She was an
impassioned, vivacious woman, fond of adoration, exasperated by five
years of marital rudeness; and the sense of release was so strong upon
her that it stilled anxiety for more than she actually enjoyed. An
equivocal position was of no importance to her then; she had no envy
for the honors of a dull, disregarded wife: the one spot which spoiled
her vision of her new pleasant world, was the sense that she left her
three-year-old boy, who died two years afterward, and whose first tones
saying “mamma” retained a difference from those of the children that
came after. But now the years had brought many changes besides those in
the contour of her cheek and throat; and that Grandcourt should marry
her had become her dominant desire. The equivocal position which she
had not minded about for herself was now telling upon her through her
children, whom she loved with a devotion charged with the added passion
of atonement. She had no repentance except in this direction. If
Grandcourt married her, the children would be none the worse off for
what had passed: they would see their mother in a dignified position,
and they would be at no disadvantage with the world: her son could be
made his father’s heir. It was the yearning for this result which gave
the supreme importance to Grandcourt’s feeling for her; her love for
him had long resolved itself into anxiety that he should give her the
unique, permanent claim of a wife, and she expected no other happiness
in marriage than the satisfaction of her maternal love and
pride—including her pride for herself in the presence of her children.
For the sake of that result she was prepared even with a tragic
firmness to endure anything quietly in marriage; and she had acuteness
enough to cherish Grandcourt’s flickering purpose negatively, by not
molesting him with passionate appeals and with scene-making. In her, as
in every one else who wanted anything of him, his incalculable turns,
and his tendency to harden under beseeching, had created a reasonable
dread:—a slow discovery, of which no presentiment had been given in
the bearing of a youthful lover with a fine line of face and the
softest manners. But reticence had necessarily cost something to this
impassioned woman, and she was the bitterer for it. There is no
quailing—even that forced on the helpless and injured—which has not
an ugly obverse: the withheld sting was gathering venom. She was
absolutely dependent on Grandcourt; for though he had been always
liberal in expenses for her, he had kept everything voluntary on his
part; and with the goal of marriage before her, she would ask for
nothing less. He had said that he would never settle anything except by
will; and when she was thinking of alternatives for the future it often
occurred to her that, even if she did not become Grandcourt’s wife, he
might never have a son who would have a legitimate claim on him, and
the end might be that her son would be made heir to the best part of
his estates. No son at that early age could promise to have more of his
father’s physique. But her becoming Grandcourt’s wife was so far from
being an extravagant notion of possibility, that even Lush had
entertained it, and had said that he would as soon bet on it as on any
other likelihood with regard to his familiar companion. Lush, indeed,
on inferring that Grandcourt had a preconception of using his residence
at Diplow in order to win Miss Arrowpoint, had thought it well to fan
that project, taking it as a tacit renunciation of the marriage with
Mrs. Glasher, which had long been a mark for the hovering and wheeling
of Grandcourt’s caprice. But both prospects had been negatived by
Gwendolen’s appearance on the scene; and it was natural enough for Mrs.
Glasher to enter with eagerness into Lush’s plan of hindering that new
danger by setting up a barrier in the mind of the girl who was being
sought as a bride. She entered into it with an eagerness which had
passion in it as well as purpose, some of the stored-up venom
delivering itself in that way.
After that, she had heard from Lush of Gwendolen’s departure, and the
probability that all danger from her was got rid of; but there had been
no letter to tell her that the danger had returned and had become a
certainty. She had since then written to Grandcourt, as she did
habitually, and he had been longer than usual in answering. She was
inferring that he might intend coming to Gadsmere at the time when he
was actually on the way; and she was not without hope—what
construction of another’s mind is not strong wishing equal to?—that a
certain sickening from that frustrated courtship might dispose him to
slip the more easily into the old track of intention.
Grandcourt had two grave purposes in coming to Gadsmere: to convey the
news of his approaching marriage in person, in order to make this first
difficulty final; and to get from Lydia his mother’s diamonds, which
long ago he had confided to her and wished her to wear. Her person
suited diamonds, and made them look as if they were worth some of the
money given for them. These particular diamonds were not mountains of
light—they were mere peas and haricots for the ears, neck and hair;
but they were worth some thousands, and Grandcourt necessarily wished
to have them for his wife. Formerly when he had asked Lydia to put them
into his keeping again, simply on the ground that they would be safer
and ought to be deposited at the bank, she had quietly but absolutely
refused, declaring that they were quite safe; and at last had said, “If
you ever marry another woman I will give them up to her: are you going
to marry another woman?” At that time Grandcourt had no motive which
urged him to persist, and he had this grace in him, that the
disposition to exercise power either by cowing or disappointing others
or exciting in them a rage which they dared not express—a disposition
which was active in him as other propensities became languid—had
always been in abeyance before Lydia. A severe interpreter might say
that the mere facts of their relation to each other, the melancholy
position of this woman who depended on his will, made a standing
banquet for his delight in dominating. But there was something else
than this in his forbearance toward her: there was the surviving though
metamorphosed effect of the power she had had over him; and it was this
effect, the fitful dull lapse toward solicitations that once had the
zest now missing from life, which had again and again inclined him to
espouse a familiar past rather than rouse himself to the expectation of
novelty. But now novelty had taken hold of him and urged him to make
the most of it.
Mrs. Glasher was seated in the pleasant room where she habitually
passed her mornings with her children round her. It had a square
projecting window and looked on broad gravel and grass, sloping toward
a little brook that entered the pool. The top of a low, black cabinet,
the old oak table, the chairs in tawny leather, were littered with the
children’s toys, books and garden garments, at which a maternal lady in
pastel looked down from the walls with smiling indulgence. The children
were all there. The three girls, seated round their mother near the
window, were miniature portraits of her—dark-eyed, delicate-featured
brunettes with a rich bloom on their cheeks, their little nostrils and
eyebrows singularly finished as if they were tiny women, the eldest
being barely nine. The boy was seated on the carpet at some distance,
bending his blonde head over the animals from a Noah’s ark, admonishing
them separately in a voice of threatening command, and occasionally
licking the spotted ones to see if the colors would hold. Josephine,
the eldest, was having her French lesson; and the others, with their
dolls on their laps, sat demurely enough for images of the Madonna.
Mrs. Glasher’s toilet had been made very carefully—each day now she
said to herself that Grandcourt might come in. Her head, which, spite
of emaciation, had an ineffaceable beauty in the fine profile, crisp
curves of hair, and clearly-marked eyebrows, rose impressively above
her bronze-colored silk and velvet, and the gold necklace which
Grandcourt had first clasped round her neck years ago. Not that she had
any pleasure in her toilet; her chief thought of herself seen in the
glass was, “How changed!”—but such good in life as remained to her she
would keep. If her chief wish were fulfilled, she could imagine herself
getting the comeliness of a matron fit for the highest rank. The little
faces beside her, almost exact reductions of her own, seemed to tell of
the blooming curves which had once been where now was sunken pallor.
But the children kissed the pale cheeks and never found them deficient.
That love was now the one end of her life.
Suddenly Mrs. Glasher turned away her head from Josephine’s book and
listened. “Hush, dear! I think some one is coming.”
Henleigh the boy jumped up and said, “Mamma, is it the miller with my
donkey?”
He got no answer, and going up to his mamma’s knee repeated his
question in an insistent tone. But the door opened, and the servant
announced Mr. Grandcourt. Mrs. Glasher rose in some agitation. Henleigh
frowned at him in disgust at his not being the miller, and the three
little girls lifted up their dark eyes to him timidly. They had none of
them any particular liking for this friend of mamma’s—in fact, when he
had taken Mrs. Glasher’s hand and then turned to put his other hand on
Henleigh’s head, that energetic scion began to beat the friend’s arm
away with his fists. The little girls submitted bashfully to be patted
under the chin and kissed, but on the whole it seemed better to send
them into the garden, where they were presently dancing and chatting
with the dogs on the gravel.
“How far are you come?” said Mrs. Glasher, as Grandcourt put away his
hat and overcoat.
“From Diplow,” he answered slowly, seating himself opposite her and
looking at her with an unnoting gaze which she noted.
“You are tired, then.”
“No, I rested at the Junction—a hideous hole. These railway journeys
are always a confounded bore. But I had coffee and smoked.”
Grandcourt drew out his handkerchief, rubbed his face, and in returning
the handkerchief to his pocket looked at his crossed knee and blameless
boot, as if any stranger were opposite to him, instead of a woman
quivering with a suspense which every word and look of his was to
incline toward hope or dread. But he was really occupied with their
interview and what it was likely to include. Imagine the difference in
rate of emotion between this woman whom the years had worn to a more
conscious dependence and sharper eagerness, and this man whom they were
dulling into a more neutral obstinacy.
“I expected to see you—it was so long since I had heard from you. I
suppose the weeks seem longer at Gadsmere than they do at Diplow,” said
Mrs. Glasher. She had a quick, incisive way of speaking that seemed to
go with her features, as the tone and _timbre_ of a violin go with its
form.
“Yes,” drawled Grandcourt. “But you found the money paid into the bank.”
“Oh, yes,” said Mrs. Glasher, curtly, tingling with impatience. Always
before—at least she fancied so—Grandcourt had taken more notice of
her and the children than he did to-day.
“Yes,” he resumed, playing with his whisker, and at first not looking
at her, “the time has gone on at rather a rattling pace with me;
generally it is slow enough. But there has been a good deal happening,
as you know”—here he turned his eyes upon her.
“What do I know?” said she, sharply.
He left a pause before he said, without change of manner, “That I was
thinking of marrying. You saw Miss Harleth?”
“_She_ told you that?”
The pale cheeks looked even paler, perhaps from the fierce brightness
in the eyes above them.
“No. Lush told me,” was the slow answer. It was as if the thumb-screw
and the iron boot were being placed by creeping hands within sight of
the expectant victim.
“Good God! say at once that you are going to marry her,” she burst out,
passionately, her knees shaking and her hands tightly clasped.
“Of course, this kind of thing must happen some time or other, Lydia,”
said he; really, now the thumb-screw was on, not wishing to make the
pain worse.
“You didn’t always see the necessity.”
“Perhaps not. I see it now.”
In those few undertoned words of Grandcourt’s she felt as absolute a
resistance as if her thin fingers had been pushing at a fast shut iron
door. She knew her helplessness, and shrank from testing it by any
appeal—shrank from crying in a dead ear and clinging to dead knees,
only to see the immovable face and feel the rigid limbs. She did not
weep nor speak; she was too hard pressed by the sudden certainty which
had as much of chill sickness in it as of thought and emotion. The
defeated clutch of struggling hope gave her in these first moments a
horrible sensation. At last she rose, with a spasmodic effort, and,
unconscious of every thing but her wretchedness, pressed her forehead
against the hard, cold glass of the window. The children, playing on
the gravel, took this as a sign that she wanted them, and, running
forward, stood in front of her with their sweet faces upturned
expectantly. This roused her: she shook her head at them, waved them
off, and overcome with this painful exertion, sank back in the nearest
chair.
Grandcourt had risen too. He was doubly annoyed—at the scene itself,
and at the sense that no imperiousness of his could save him from it;
but the task had to be gone through, and there was the administrative
necessity of arranging things so that there should be as little
annoyance as possible in the future. He was leaning against the corner
of the fire-place. She looked up at him and said, bitterly,
“All this is of no consequence to you. I and the children are
importunate creatures. You wish to get away again and be with Miss
Harleth.”
“Don’t make the affair more disagreeable than it need be. Lydia. It is
of no use to harp on things that can’t be altered. Of course, its
deucedly disagreeable to me to see you making yourself miserable. I’ve
taken this journey to tell you what you must make up your mind to—you
and the children will be provided for as usual—and there’s an end of
it.”
Silence. She dared not answer. This woman with the intense, eager look
had had the iron of the mother’s anguish in her soul, and it had made
her sometimes capable of a repression harder than shrieking and
struggle. But underneath the silence there was an outlash of hatred and
vindictiveness: she wished that the marriage might make two others
wretched, besides herself. Presently he went on,
“It will be better for you. You may go on living here. But I think of
by-and-by settling a good sum on you and the children, and you can live
where you like. There will be nothing for you to complain of then.
Whatever happens, you will feel secure. Nothing could be done
beforehand. Every thing has gone on in a hurry.”
Grandcourt ceased his slow delivery of sentences. He did not expect her
to thank him, but he considered that she might reasonably be contented;
if it were possible for Lydia to be contented. She showed no change,
and after a minute he said,
“You have never had any reason to fear that I should be illiberal. I
don’t care a curse about the money.”
“If you did care about it, I suppose you would not give it us,” said
Lydia. The sarcasm was irrepressible.
“That’s a devilishly unfair thing to say,” Grandcourt replied, in a
lower tone; “and I advise you not to say that sort of thing again.”
“Should you punish me by leaving the children in beggary?” In spite of
herself, the one outlet of venom had brought the other.
“There is no question about leaving the children in beggary,” said
Grandcourt, still in his low voice. “I advise you not to say things
that you will repent of.”
“I am used to repenting,” said she, bitterly. “Perhaps you will repent.
You have already repented of loving me.”
“All this will only make it uncommonly difficult for us to meet again.
What friend have you besides me?”
“Quite true.”
The words came like a low moan. At the same moment there flashed
through her the wish that after promising himself a better happiness
than that he had had with her, he might feel a misery and loneliness
which would drive him back to her to find some memory of a time when he
was young, glad, and hopeful. But no! he would go scathless; it was she
that had to suffer.
With this the scorching words were ended. Grandcourt had meant to stay
till evening; he wished to curtail his visit, but there was no suitable
train earlier than the one he had arranged to go by, and he had still
to speak to Lydia on the second object of his visit, which like a
second surgical operation seemed to require an interval. The hours had
to go by; there was eating to be done; the children came in—all this
mechanism of life had to be gone through with the dreary sense of
constraint which is often felt in domestic quarrels of a commoner kind.
To Lydia it was some slight relief for her stifled fury to have the
children present: she felt a savage glory in their loveliness, as if it
would taunt Grandcourt with his indifference to her and them—a secret
darting of venom which was strongly imaginative. He acquitted himself
with all the advantage of a man whose grace of bearing has long been
moulded on an experience of boredom—nursed the little Antonia, who sat
with her hands crossed and eyes upturned to his bald head, which struck
her as worthy of observation—and propitiated Henleigh by promising him
a beautiful saddle and bridle. It was only the two eldest girls who had
known him as a continual presence; and the intervening years had
overlaid their infantine memories with a bashfulness which Grandcourt’s
bearing was not likely to dissipate. He and Lydia occasionally, in the
presence of the servants, made a conventional remark; otherwise they
never spoke; and the stagnant thought in Grandcourt’s mind all the
while was of his own infatuation in having given her those diamonds,
which obliged him to incur the nuisance of speaking about them. He had
an ingrained care for what he held to belong to his caste, and about
property he liked to be lordly; also he had a consciousness of
indignity to himself in having to ask for anything in the world. But
however he might assert his independence of Mrs. Glasher’s past, he had
made a past for himself which was a stronger yoke than any he could
impose. He must ask for the diamonds which he had promised to Gwendolen.
At last they were alone again, with the candles above them, face to
face with each other. Grandcourt looked at his watch, and then said, in
an apparently indifferent drawl, “There is one thing I had to mention,
Lydia. My diamonds—you have them.”
“Yes, I have them,” she answered promptly, rising and standing with her
arms thrust down and her fingers threaded, while Grandcourt sat still.
She had expected the topic, and made her resolve about it. But she
meant to carry out her resolve, if possible, without exasperating him.
During the hours of silence she had longed to recall the words which
had only widened the breach between them.
“They are in this house, I suppose?”
“No; not in this house.”
“I thought you said you kept them by you.”
“When I said so it was true. They are in the bank at Dudley.”
“Get them away, will you? I must make an arrangement for your
delivering them to some one.”
“Make no arrangement. They shall be delivered to the person you
intended them for. _I_ will make the arrangement.”
“What do you mean?”
“What I say. I have always told you that I would give them up to your
wife. I shall keep my word. She is not your wife yet.”
“This is foolery,” said Grandcourt, with undertoned disgust. It was too
irritating that this indulgence of Lydia had given her a sort of
mastery over him in spite of dependent condition.
She did not speak. He also rose now, but stood leaning against the
mantle-piece with his side-face toward her.
“The diamonds must be delivered to me before my marriage,” he began
again.
“What is your wedding-day?”
“The tenth. There is no time to be lost.”
“And where do you go after the marriage?”
He did not reply except by looking more sullen. Presently he said, “You
must appoint a day before then, to get them from the bank and meet
me—or somebody else I will commission;—it’s a great nuisance. Mention
a day.”
“No; I shall not do that. They shall be delivered to her safely. I
shall keep my word.”
“Do you mean to say,” said Grandcourt, just audibly, turning to face
her, “that you will not do as I tell you?”
“Yes, I mean that,” was the answer that leaped out, while her eyes
flashed close to him. The poor creature was immediately conscious that
if her words had any effect on her own lot, the effect must be
mischievous, and might nullify all the remaining advantage of her long
patience. But the word had been spoken.
He was in a position the most irritating to him. He could not shake her
nor touch her hostilely; and if he could, the process would not bring
his mother’s diamonds. He shrank from the only sort of threat that
would frighten her—if she believed it. And in general, there was
nothing he hated more than to be forced into anything like violence
even in words: his will must impose itself without trouble. After
looking at her for a moment, he turned his side-face toward her again,
leaning as before, and said,
“Infernal idiots that women are!”
“Why will you not tell me where you are going after the marriage? I
could be at the wedding if I liked, and learn in that way,” said Lydia,
not shrinking from the one suicidal form of threat within her power.
“Of course, if you like, you can play the mad woman,” said Grandcourt,
with _sotto voce_ scorn. “It is not to be supposed that you will wait
to think what good will come of it—or what you owe to me.”
He was in a state of disgust and embitterment quite new in the history
of their relation to each other. It was undeniable that this woman,
whose life he had allowed to send such deep suckers into his, had a
terrible power of annoyance in her; and the rash hurry of his
proceedings had left her opportunities open. His pride saw very ugly
possibilities threatening it, and he stood for several minutes in
silence reviewing the situation—considering how he could act upon her.
Unlike himself she was of a direct nature, with certain simple
strongly-colored tendencies, and there was one often-experienced effect
which he thought he could count upon now. As Sir Hugo had said of him,
Grandcourt knew how to play his cards upon occasion.
He did not speak again, but looked at his watch, rang the bell, and
ordered the vehicle to be brought round immediately. Then he removed
farther from her, walked as if in expectation of a summons, and
remained silent without turning his eyes upon her.
She was suffering the horrible conflict of self-reproach and tenacity.
She saw beforehand Grandcourt leaving her without even looking at her
again—herself left behind in lonely uncertainty—hearing nothing from
him—not knowing whether she had done her children harm—feeling that
she had perhaps made him hate her;—all the wretchedness of a creature
who had defeated her own motives. And yet she could not bear to give up
a purpose which was a sweet morsel to her vindictiveness. If she had
not been a mother she would willingly have sacrificed herself to her
revenge—to what she felt to be the justice of hindering another from
getting happiness by willingly giving her over to misery. The two
dominant passions were at struggle. She must satisfy them both.
“Don’t let us part in anger, Henleigh,” she began, without changing her
voice or attitude: “it is a very little thing I ask. If I were refusing
to give anything up that you call yours it would be different: that
would be a reason for treating me as if you hated me. But I ask such a
little thing. If you will tell me where you are going on the
wedding-day I will take care that the diamonds shall be delivered to
her without scandal. Without scandal,” she repeated entreatingly.
“Such preposterous whims make a woman odious,” said Grandcourt, not
giving way in look or movement. “What is the use of talking to mad
people?”
“Yes, I am foolish—loneliness has made me foolish—indulge me.” Sobs
rose as she spoke. “If you will indulge me in this one folly I will be
very meek—I will never trouble you.” She burst into hysterical crying,
and said again almost with a scream—“I will be very meek after that.”
There was a strange mixture of acting and reality in this passion. She
kept hold of her purpose as a child might tighten its hand over a small
stolen thing, crying and denying all the while. Even Grandcourt was
wrought upon by surprise: this capricious wish, this childish violence,
was as unlike Lydia’s bearing as it was incongruous with her person.
Both had always had a stamp of dignity on them. Yet she seemed more
manageable in this state than in her former attitude of defiance. He
came close up to her again, and said, in his low imperious tone, “Be
quiet, and hear what I tell you, I will never forgive you if you
present yourself again and make a scene.”
She pressed her handkerchief against her face, and when she could speak
firmly said, in the muffled voice that follows sobbing, “I will not—if
you will let me have my way—I promise you not to thrust myself forward
again. I have never broken my word to you—how many have you broken to
me? When you gave me the diamonds to wear you were not thinking of
having another wife. And I now give them up—I don’t reproach you—I
only ask you to let me give them up in my own way. Have I not borne it
well? Everything is to be taken away from me, and when I ask for a
straw, a chip—you deny it me.” She had spoken rapidly, but after a
little pause she said more slowly, her voice freed from its muffled
tone: “I will not bear to have it denied me.”
Grandcourt had a baffling sense that he had to deal with something like
madness; he could only govern by giving way. The servant came to say
the fly was ready. When the door was shut again Grandcourt said
sullenly, “We are going to Ryelands then.”
“They shall be delivered to her there,” said Lydia, with decision.
“Very well, I am going.” He felt no inclination even to take her hand:
she had annoyed him too sorely. But now that she had gained her point,
she was prepared to humble herself that she might propitiate him.
“Forgive me; I will never vex you again,” she said, with beseeching
looks. Her inward voice said distinctly—“It is only I who have to
forgive.” Yet she was obliged to ask forgiveness.
“You had better keep that promise. You have made me feel uncommonly ill
with your folly,” said Grandcourt, apparently choosing this statement
as the strongest possible use of language.
“Poor thing!” cried Lydia, with a faint smile;—was he aware of the
minor fact that he made her feel ill this morning?
But with the quick transition natural to her, she was now ready to coax
him if he would let her, that they might part in some degree
reconciled. She ventured to lay her hand on his shoulder, and he did
not move away from her: she had so far succeeded in alarming him, that
he was not sorry for these proofs of returned subjection.
“Light a cigar,” she said, soothingly, taking the case from his
breast-pocket and opening it.
Amidst such caressing signs of mutual fear they parted. The effect that
clung and gnawed within Grandcourt was a sense of imperfect mastery.