Chương Chương 17 · Chapter XVII

. Chapter XVII

“First, I thought, almost despairing,

This must crush my spirit now;

Yet I bore it, and am bearing—

Only do not ask me how.”

HEINE.

When the daylight came, it brought the possibility of action, but with

it little of consolation. With the first visible increase of light, I

gazed into the chasm, but could not, for more than an hour, see

sufficiently well to discover its nature. At last I saw it was almost a

perpendicular opening, like a roughly excavated well, only very large.

I could perceive no bottom; and it was not till the sun actually rose,

that I discovered a sort of natural staircase, in many parts little

more than suggested, which led round and round the gulf, descending

spirally into its abyss. I saw at once that this was my path; and

without a moment’s hesitation, glad to quit the sunlight, which stared

at me most heartlessly, I commenced my tortuous descent. It was very

difficult. In some parts I had to cling to the rocks like a bat. In one

place, I dropped from the track down upon the next returning spire of

the stair; which being broad in this particular portion, and standing

out from the wall at right angles, received me upon my feet safe,

though somewhat stupefied by the shock. After descending a great way, I

found the stair ended at a narrow opening which entered the rock

horizontally. Into this I crept, and, having entered, had just room to

turn round. I put my head out into the shaft by which I had come down,

and surveyed the course of my descent. Looking up, I saw the stars;

although the sun must by this time have been high in the heavens.

Looking below, I saw that the sides of the shaft went sheer down,

smooth as glass; and far beneath me, I saw the reflection of the same

stars I had seen in the heavens when I looked up. I turned again, and

crept inwards some distance, when the passage widened, and I was at

length able to stand and walk upright. Wider and loftier grew the way;

new paths branched off on every side; great open halls appeared; till

at last I found myself wandering on through an underground country, in

which the sky was of rock, and instead of trees and flowers, there were

only fantastic rocks and stones. And ever as I went, darker grew my

thoughts, till at last I had no hope whatever of finding the white

lady: I no longer called her to myself _my_ white lady. Whenever a

choice was necessary, I always chose the path which seemed to lead

downwards.

At length I began to find that these regions were inhabited. From

behind a rock a peal of harsh grating laughter, full of evil humour,

rang through my ears, and, looking round, I saw a queer, goblin

creature, with a great head and ridiculous features, just such as those

described, in German histories and travels, as Kobolds. “What do you

want with me?” I said. He pointed at me with a long forefinger, very

thick at the root, and sharpened to a point, and answered, “He! he! he!

what do _you_ want here?” Then, changing his tone, he continued, with

mock humility—“Honoured sir, vouchsafe to withdraw from thy slaves the

lustre of thy august presence, for thy slaves cannot support its

brightness.” A second appeared, and struck in: “You are so big, you

keep the sun from us. We can’t see for you, and we’re so cold.”

Thereupon arose, on all sides, the most terrific uproar of laughter,

from voices like those of children in volume, but scrannel and harsh as

those of decrepit age, though, unfortunately, without its weakness. The

whole pandemonium of fairy devils, of all varieties of fantastic

ugliness, both in form and feature, and of all sizes from one to four

feet, seemed to have suddenly assembled about me. At length, after a

great babble of talk among themselves, in a language unknown to me, and

after seemingly endless gesticulation, consultation, elbow-nudging, and

unmitigated peals of laughter, they formed into a circle about one of

their number, who scrambled upon a stone, and, much to my surprise, and

somewhat to my dismay, began to sing, in a voice corresponding in its

nature to his talking one, from beginning to end, the song with which I

had brought the light into the eyes of the white lady. He sang the same

air too; and, all the time, maintained a face of mock entreaty and

worship; accompanying the song with the travestied gestures of one

playing on the lute. The whole assembly kept silence, except at the

close of every verse, when they roared, and danced, and shouted with

laughter, and flung themselves on the ground, in real or pretended

convulsions of delight. When he had finished, the singer threw himself

from the top of the stone, turning heels over head several times in his

descent; and when he did alight, it was on the top of his head, on

which he hopped about, making the most grotesque gesticulations with

his legs in the air. Inexpressible laughter followed, which broke up in

a shower of tiny stones from innumerable hands. They could not

materially injure me, although they cut me on the head and face. I

attempted to run away, but they all rushed upon me, and, laying hold of

every part that afforded a grasp, held me tight. Crowding about me like

bees, they shouted an insect-swarm of exasperating speeches up into my

face, among which the most frequently recurring were—“You shan’t have

her; you shan’t have her; he! he! he! She’s for a better man; how he’ll

kiss her! how he’ll kiss her!”

The galvanic torrent of this battery of malevolence stung to life

within me a spark of nobleness, and I said aloud, “Well, if he is a

better man, let him have her.”

They instantly let go their hold of me, and fell back a step or two,

with a whole broadside of grunts and humphs, as of unexpected and

disappointed approbation. I made a step or two forward, and a lane was

instantly opened for me through the midst of the grinning little

antics, who bowed most politely to me on every side as I passed. After

I had gone a few yards, I looked back, and saw them all standing quite

still, looking after me, like a great school of boys; till suddenly one

turned round, and with a loud whoop, rushed into the midst of the

others. In an instant, the whole was one writhing and tumbling heap of

contortion, reminding me of the live pyramids of intertwined snakes of

which travellers make report. As soon as one was worked out of the

mass, he bounded off a few paces, and then, with a somersault and a

run, threw himself gyrating into the air, and descended with all his

weight on the summit of the heaving and struggling chaos of fantastic

figures. I left them still busy at this fierce and apparently aimless

amusement. And as I went, I sang—

If a nobler waits for thee,

I will weep aside;

It is well that thou should’st be,

Of the nobler, bride.

For if love builds up the home,

Where the heart is free,

Homeless yet the heart must roam,

That has not found thee.

One must suffer: I, for her

Yield in her my part

Take her, thou art worthier—

Still I be still, my heart!

Gift ungotten! largess high

Of a frustrate will!

But to yield it lovingly

Is a something still.

Then a little song arose of itself in my soul; and I felt for the

moment, while it sank sadly within me, as if I was once more walking up

and down the white hall of Phantasy in the Fairy Palace. But this

lasted no longer than the song; as will be seen.

Do not vex thy violet

Perfume to afford:

Else no odour thou wilt get

From its little hoard.

In thy lady’s gracious eyes

Look not thou too long;

Else from them the glory flies,

And thou dost her wrong.

Come not thou too near the maid,

Clasp her not too wild;

Else the splendour is allayed,

And thy heart beguiled.

A crash of laughter, more discordant and deriding than any I had yet

heard, invaded my ears. Looking on in the direction of the sound, I saw

a little elderly woman, much taller, however, than the goblins I had

just left, seated upon a stone by the side of the path. She rose, as I

drew near, and came forward to meet me.

She was very plain and commonplace in appearance, without being

hideously ugly. Looking up in my face with a stupid sneer, she said:

“Isn’t it a pity you haven’t a pretty girl to walk all alone with you

through this sweet country? How different everything would look?

wouldn’t it? Strange that one can never have what one would like best!

How the roses would bloom and all that, even in this infernal hole!

wouldn’t they, Anodos? Her eyes would light up the old cave, wouldn’t

they?”

“That depends on who the pretty girl should be,” replied I.

“Not so very much matter that,” she answered; “look here.”

I had turned to go away as I gave my reply, but now I stopped and

looked at her. As a rough unsightly bud might suddenly blossom into the

most lovely flower; or rather, as a sunbeam bursts through a shapeless

cloud, and transfigures the earth; so burst a face of resplendent

beauty, as it were _through_ the unsightly visage of the woman,

destroying it with light as it dawned through it. A summer sky rose

above me, gray with heat; across a shining slumberous landscape, looked

from afar the peaks of snow-capped mountains; and down from a great

rock beside me fell a sheet of water mad with its own delight.

“Stay with me,” she said, lifting up her exquisite face, and looking

full in mine.

I drew back. Again the infernal laugh grated upon my ears; again the

rocks closed in around me, and the ugly woman looked at me with wicked,

mocking hazel eyes.

“You shall have your reward,” said she. “You shall see your white lady

again.”

“That lies not with you,” I replied, and turned and left her.

She followed me with shriek upon shriek of laughter, as I went on my

way.

I may mention here, that although there was always light enough to see

my path and a few yards on every side of me, I never could find out the

source of this sad sepulchral illumination.