第 五十 章 · OF THE SHREWD CONTROVERSY WHICH DON QUIXOTE AND THE CANON HELD, TOGETHER WITH OTHER INCIDENTS

. OF THE SHREWD CONTROVERSY WHICH DON QUIXOTE AND THE CANON HELD, TOGETHER WITH OTHER INCIDENTS

CHAPTER L.

OF THE SHREWD CONTROVERSY WHICH DON QUIXOTE AND THE CANON HELD,

TOGETHER WITH OTHER INCIDENTS

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“A good joke, that!” returned Don Quixote. “Books that have been

printed with the king’s licence, and with the approbation of those to

whom they have been submitted, and read with universal delight, and

extolled by great and small, rich and poor, learned and ignorant,

gentle and simple, in a word by people of every sort, of whatever rank

or condition they may be—that these should be lies! And above all when

they carry such an appearance of truth with them; for they tell us the

father, mother, country, kindred, age, place, and the achievements,

step by step, and day by day, performed by such a knight or knights!

Hush, sir; utter not such blasphemy; trust me I am advising you now to

act as a sensible man should; only read them, and you will see the

pleasure you will derive from them. For, come, tell me, can there be

anything more delightful than to see, as it were, here now displayed

before us a vast lake of bubbling pitch with a host of snakes and

serpents and lizards, and ferocious and terrible creatures of all sorts

swimming about in it, while from the middle of the lake there comes a

plaintive voice saying: ‘Knight, whosoever thou art who beholdest this

dread lake, if thou wouldst win the prize that lies hidden beneath

these dusky waves, prove the valour of thy stout heart and cast thyself

into the midst of its dark burning waters, else thou shalt not be

worthy to see the mighty wonders contained in the seven castles of the

seven Fays that lie beneath this black expanse;’ and then the knight,

almost ere the awful voice has ceased, without stopping to consider,

without pausing to reflect upon the danger to which he is exposing

himself, without even relieving himself of the weight of his massive

armour, commending himself to God and to his lady, plunges into the

midst of the boiling lake, and when he little looks for it, or knows

what his fate is to be, he finds himself among flowery meadows, with

which the Elysian fields are not to be compared.

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“The sky seems more transparent there, and the sun shines with a

strange brilliancy, and a delightful grove of green leafy trees

presents itself to the eyes and charms the sight with its verdure,

while the ear is soothed by the sweet untutored melody of the countless

birds of gay plumage that flit to and fro among the interlacing

branches. Here he sees a brook whose limpid waters, like liquid

crystal, ripple over fine sands and white pebbles that look like sifted

gold and purest pearls. There he perceives a cunningly wrought fountain

of many-coloured jasper and polished marble; here another of rustic

fashion where the little mussel-shells and the spiral white and yellow

mansions of the snail disposed in studious disorder, mingled with

fragments of glittering crystal and mock emeralds, make up a work of

varied aspect, where art, imitating nature, seems to have outdone it.

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“Suddenly there is presented to his sight a strong castle or gorgeous

palace with walls of massy gold, turrets of diamond and gates of

jacinth; in short, so marvellous is its structure that though the

materials of which it is built are nothing less than diamonds,

carbuncles, rubies, pearls, gold, and emeralds, the workmanship is

still more rare. And after having seen all this, what can be more

charming than to see how a bevy of damsels comes forth from the gate of

the castle in gay and gorgeous attire, such that, were I to set myself

now to depict it as the histories describe it to us, I should never

have done; and then how she who seems to be the first among them all

takes the bold knight who plunged into the boiling lake by the hand,

and without addressing a word to him leads him into the rich palace or

castle, and strips him as naked as when his mother bore him, and bathes

him in lukewarm water, and anoints him all over with sweet-smelling

unguents, and clothes him in a shirt of the softest sendal, all scented

and perfumed, while another damsel comes and throws over his shoulders

a mantle which is said to be worth at the very least a city, and even

more? How charming it is, then, when they tell us how, after all this,

they lead him to another chamber where he finds the tables set out in

such style that he is filled with amazement and wonder; to see how they

pour out water for his hands distilled from amber and sweet-scented

flowers; how they seat him on an ivory chair; to see how the damsels

wait on him all in profound silence; how they bring him such a variety

of dainties so temptingly prepared that the appetite is at a loss which

to select; to hear the music that resounds while he is at table, by

whom or whence produced he knows not. And then when the repast is over

and the tables removed, for the knight to recline in the chair, picking

his teeth perhaps as usual, and a damsel, much lovelier than any of the

others, to enter unexpectedly by the chamber door, and herself by his

side, and begin to tell him what the castle is, and how she is held

enchanted there, and other things that amaze the knight and astonish

the readers who are perusing his history.

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“But I will not expatiate any further upon this, as it may be gathered

from it that whatever part of whatever history of a knight-errant one

reads, it will fill the reader, whoever he be, with delight and wonder;

and take my advice, sir, and, as I said before, read these books and

you will see how they will banish any melancholy you may feel and raise

your spirits should they be depressed. For myself I can say that since

I have been a knight-errant I have become valiant, polite, generous,

well-bred, magnanimous, courteous, dauntless, gentle, patient, and have

learned to bear hardships, imprisonments, and enchantments; and though

it be such a short time since I have seen myself shut up in a cage like

a madman, I hope by the might of my arm, if heaven aid me and fortune

thwart me not, to see myself king of some kingdom where I may be able

to show the gratitude and generosity that dwell in my heart; for by my

faith, señor, the poor man is incapacitated from showing the virtue of

generosity to anyone, though he may possess it in the highest degree;

and gratitude that consists of disposition only is a dead thing, just

as faith without works is dead. For this reason I should be glad were

fortune soon to offer me some opportunity of making myself an emperor,

so as to show my heart in doing good to my friends, particularly to

this poor Sancho Panza, my squire, who is the best fellow in the world;

and I would gladly give him a county I have promised him this ever so

long, only that I am afraid he has not the capacity to govern his

realm.”

Sancho partly heard these last words of his master, and said to him,

“Strive hard you, Señor Don Quixote, to give me that county so often

promised by you and so long looked for by me, for I promise you there

will be no want of capacity in me to govern it; and even if there is, I

have heard say there are men in the world who farm seigniories, paying

so much a year, and they themselves taking charge of the government,

while the lord, with his legs stretched out, enjoys the revenue they

pay him, without troubling himself about anything else. That’s what

I’ll do, and not stand haggling over trifles, but wash my hands at once

of the whole business, and enjoy my rents like a duke, and let things

go their own way.”

“That, brother Sancho,” said the canon, “only holds good as far as the

enjoyment of the revenue goes; but the lord of the seigniory must

attend to the administration of justice, and here capacity and sound

judgment come in, and above all a firm determination to find out the

truth; for if this be wanting in the beginning, the middle and the end

will always go wrong; and God as commonly aids the honest intentions of

the simple as he frustrates the evil designs of the crafty.”

“I don’t understand those philosophies,” returned Sancho Panza; “all I

know is I would I had the county as soon as I shall know how to govern

it; for I have as much soul as another, and as much body as anyone, and

I shall be as much king of my realm as any other of his; and being so I

should do as I liked, and doing as I liked I should please myself, and

pleasing myself I should be content, and when one is content he has

nothing more to desire, and when one has nothing more to desire there

is an end of it; so let the county come, and God be with you, and let

us see one another, as one blind man said to the other.”

“That is not bad philosophy thou art talking, Sancho,” said the canon;

“but for all that there is a good deal to be said on this matter of

counties.”

To which Don Quixote returned, “I know not what more there is to be

said; I only guide myself by the example set me by the great Amadis of

Gaul, when he made his squire count of the Insula Firme; and so,

without any scruples of conscience, I can make a count of Sancho Panza,

for he is one of the best squires that ever knight-errant had.”

The canon was astonished at the methodical nonsense (if nonsense be

capable of method) that Don Quixote uttered, at the way in which he had

described the adventure of the knight of the lake, at the impression

that the deliberate lies of the books he read had made upon him, and

lastly he marvelled at the simplicity of Sancho, who desired so eagerly

to obtain the county his master had promised him.

By this time the canon’s servants, who had gone to the inn to fetch the

sumpter mule, had returned, and making a carpet and the green grass of

the meadow serve as a table, they seated themselves in the shade of

some trees and made their repast there, that the carter might not be

deprived of the advantage of the spot, as has been already said. As

they were eating they suddenly heard a loud noise and the sound of a

bell that seemed to come from among some brambles and thick bushes that

were close by, and the same instant they observed a beautiful goat,

spotted all over black, white, and brown, spring out of the thicket

with a goatherd after it, calling to it and uttering the usual cries to

make it stop or turn back to the fold. The fugitive goat, scared and

frightened, ran towards the company as if seeking their protection and

then stood still, and the goatherd coming up seized it by the horns and

began to talk to it as if it were possessed of reason and

understanding: “Ah wanderer, wanderer, Spotty, Spotty; how have you

gone limping all this time? What wolves have frightened you, my

daughter? Won’t you tell me what is the matter, my beauty? But what

else can it be except that you are a she, and cannot keep quiet? A

plague on your humours and the humours of those you take after! Come

back, come back, my darling; and if you will not be so happy, at any

rate you will be safe in the fold or with your companions; for if you

who ought to keep and lead them, go wandering astray, what will become

of them?”

The goatherd’s talk amused all who heard it, but especially the canon,

who said to him, “As you live, brother, take it easy, and be not in

such a hurry to drive this goat back to the fold; for, being a female,

as you say, she will follow her natural instinct in spite of all you

can do to prevent it. Take this morsel and drink a sup, and that will

soothe your irritation, and in the meantime the goat will rest

herself,” and so saying, he handed him the loins of a cold rabbit on a

fork.

The goatherd took it with thanks, and drank and calmed himself, and

then said, “I should be sorry if your worships were to take me for a

simpleton for having spoken so seriously as I did to this animal; but

the truth is there is a certain mystery in the words I used. I am a

clown, but not so much of one but that I know how to behave to men and

to beasts.”

“That I can well believe,” said the curate, “for I know already by

experience that the woods breed men of learning, and shepherds’ huts

harbour philosophers.”

“At all events, señor,” returned the goatherd, “they shelter men of

experience; and that you may see the truth of this and grasp it, though

I may seem to put myself forward without being asked, I will, if it

will not tire you, gentlemen, and you will give me your attention for a

little, tell you a true story which will confirm this gentleman’s word

(and he pointed to the curate) as well as my own.”

To this Don Quixote replied, “Seeing that this affair has a certain

colour of chivalry about it, I for my part, brother, will hear you most

gladly, and so will all these gentlemen, from the high intelligence

they possess and their love of curious novelties that interest, charm,

and entertain the mind, as I feel quite sure your story will do. So

begin, friend, for we are all prepared to listen.”

“I draw my stakes,” said Sancho, “and will retreat with this pasty to

the brook there, where I mean to victual myself for three days; for I

have heard my lord, Don Quixote, say that a knight-errant’s squire

should eat until he can hold no more, whenever he has the chance,

because it often happens them to get by accident into a wood so thick

that they cannot find a way out of it for six days; and if the man is

not well filled or his alforjas well stored, there he may stay, as very

often he does, turned into a dried mummy.”

“Thou art in the right of it, Sancho,” said Don Quixote; “go where thou

wilt and eat all thou canst, for I have had enough, and only want to

give my mind its refreshment, as I shall by listening to this good

fellow’s story.”

“It is what we shall all do,” said the canon; and then begged the

goatherd to begin the promised tale.

The goatherd gave the goat which he held by the horns a couple of slaps

on the back, saying, “Lie down here beside me, Spotty, for we have time

enough to return to our fold.” The goat seemed to understand him, for

as her master seated himself, she stretched herself quietly beside him

and looked up in his face to show him she was all attention to what he

was going to say, and then in these words he began his story.

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