第 三十 章 · GOOD-BYE

. GOOD-BYE

So far as I was concerned myself, I had come to port; but I had still

Alan, to whom I was so much beholden, on my hands; and I felt besides a

heavy charge in the matter of the murder and James of the Glens. On both

these heads I unbosomed to Rankeillor the next morning, walking to and

fro about six of the clock before the house of Shaws, and with nothing

in view but the fields and woods that had been my ancestors’ and were

now mine. Even as I spoke on these grave subjects, my eye would take a

glad bit of a run over the prospect, and my heart jump with pride.

About my clear duty to my friend, the lawyer had no doubt. I must help

him out of the county at whatever risk; but in the case of James, he was

of a different mind.

“Mr. Thomson,” says he, “is one thing, Mr. Thomson’s kinsman quite

another. I know little of the facts, but I gather that a great noble

(whom we will call, if you like, the D. of A.)[36] has some concern and

is even supposed to feel some animosity in the matter. The D. of A. is

doubtless an excellent nobleman; but, Mr. David, _timeo qui nocuere

deos_. If you interfere to balk his vengeance, you should remember

there is one way to shut your testimony out; and that is to put you in

the dock. There, you would be in the same pickle as Mr. Thomson’s

kinsman. You will object that you are innocent; well, but so is he. And

to be tried for your life before a Highland jury, on a Highland quarrel

and with a Highland Judge upon the bench, would be a brief transition

to the gallows.”

[36] The Duke of Argyle.

Now I had made all these reasonings before and found no very good reply

to them; so I put on all the simplicity I could. “In that case, sir,”

said I, “I would just have to be hanged--would I not?”

“My dear boy,” cries he, “go in God’s name, and do what you think is

right. It is a poor thought that at my time of life I should be advising

you to choose the safe and shameful; and I take it back with an apology.

Go and do your duty; and be hanged, if you must, like a gentleman. There

are worse things in the world than to be hanged.”

“Not many, sir,” said I, smiling.

“Why, yes, sir,” he cried, “very many. And it would be ten times better

for your uncle (to go no farther afield) if he were dangling decently

upon a gibbet.”

Thereupon he turned into the house (still in a great fervour of mind,

so that I saw I had pleased him heartily) and there he wrote me two

letters, making his comments on them as he wrote.

“This,” says he, “is to my bankers, the British Linen Company, placing a

credit to your name. Consult Mr. Thomson, he will know of ways; and

you, with this credit, can supply the means. I trust you will be a good

husband of your money; but in the affair of a friend like Mr. Thomson,

I would be even prodigal. Then for his kinsman, there is no better way

than that you should seek the Advocate, tell him your tale, and offer

testimony; whether he may take it or not, is quite another matter, and

will turn on the D. of A. Now, that you may reach the Lord Advocate well

recommended, I give you here a letter to a namesake of your own, the

learned Mr. Balfour of Pilrig, a man whom I esteem. It will look better

that you should be presented by one of your own name; and the laird of

Pilrig is much looked up to in the Faculty and stands well with Lord

Advocate Grant. I would not trouble him, if I were you, with any

particulars; and (do you know?) I think it would be needless to refer to

Mr. Thomson. Form yourself upon the laird, he is a good model; when you

deal with the Advocate, be discreet; and in all these matters, may the

Lord guide you, Mr. David!”

Thereupon he took his farewell, and set out with Torrance for the Ferry,

while Alan and I turned our faces for the city of Edinburgh. As we went

by the footpath and beside the gateposts and the unfinished lodge, we

kept looking back at the house of my fathers. It stood there, bare and

great and smokeless, like a place not lived in; only in one of the top

windows, there was the peak of a nightcap bobbing up and down and back

and forward, like the head of a rabbit from a burrow. I had little

welcome when I came, and less kindness while I stayed; but at least I

was watched as I went away.

Alan and I went slowly forward upon our way, having little heart either

to walk or speak. The same thought was uppermost in both, that we were

near the time of our parting; and remembrance of all the bygone days

sate upon us sorely. We talked indeed of what should be done; and it

was resolved that Alan should keep to the county, biding now here, now

there, but coming once in the day to a particular place where I might be

able to communicate with him, either in my own person or by messenger.

In the meanwhile, I was to seek out a lawyer, who was an Appin Stewart,

and a man therefore to be wholly trusted; and it should be his part to

find a ship and to arrange for Alan’s safe embarkation. No sooner was

this business done, than the words seemed to leave us; and though I

would seek to jest with Alan under the name of Mr. Thomson, and he with

me on my new clothes and my estate, you could feel very well that we

were nearer tears than laughter.

We came the by-way over the hill of Corstorphine; and when we got

near to the place called Rest-and-be-Thankful, and looked down on

Corstorphine bogs and over to the city and the castle on the hill, we

both stopped, for we both knew without a word said that we had come to

where our ways parted. Here he repeated to me once again what had been

agreed upon between us: the address of the lawyer, the daily hour at

which Alan might be found, and the signals that were to be made by any

that came seeking him. Then I gave what money I had (a guinea or two of

Rankeillor’s) so that he should not starve in the meanwhile; and then we

stood a space, and looked over at Edinburgh in silence.

“Well, good-bye,” said Alan, and held out his left hand.

“Good-bye,” said I, and gave the hand a little grasp, and went off down

hill.

Neither one of us looked the other in the face, nor so long as he was in

my view did I take one back glance at the friend I was leaving. But as

I went on my way to the city, I felt so lost and lonesome, that I could

have found it in my heart to sit down by the dyke, and cry and weep like

any baby.

It was coming near noon when I passed in by the West Kirk and the

Grassmarket into the streets of the capital. The huge height of the

buildings, running up to ten and fifteen storeys, the narrow arched

entries that continually vomited passengers, the wares of the merchants

in their windows, the hubbub and endless stir, the foul smells and the

fine clothes, and a hundred other particulars too small to mention,

struck me into a kind of stupor of surprise, so that I let the crowd

carry me to and fro; and yet all the time what I was thinking of was

Alan at Rest-and-be-Thankful; and all the time (although you would think

I would not choose but be delighted with these braws and novelties)

there was a cold gnawing in my inside like a remorse for something

wrong.

The hand of Providence brought me in my drifting to the very doors of

the British Linen Company’s bank.